Thats all! imagine  the hardest thing you have ever attempted...multiply that by ten and you might get a glimpse of how hard it is.

I knew it, Rob Zombie fucked up Halloween. My favorite horror film was raped by a devil's reject. Why the hell did i pay $19.00(me and my friend Steve who dressed up in his awesome Micheal Myers outfit) only to be disapointed by a young Micheal Myers who is a KISS fan. Get this through your head Rob, Micheal Myers wasn't fucked up because of abuse, he is just pure evil, that's it, no magic fuckin' trick. Also, Micheal Myers is not a Pro-Wrestler, terrible casting for that. However he did do a good Job with casting everyone else.Wait i almost forgot, your wife should not be allowed to act anymore, the only time i was really happy was when she killed her fucking self. Dr. Sam loomis didn't write a fucking book either...that pissed me the Hell off. You know what else pissed me off, all the assholes in the movie theater telling us how good it was.I H8 PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, before you completely shit on the rest of my life i think in retrospect...Halloween needs less Zombie's.

Holy shit i'm getting older and i've been doing random open-mic nights. My life has never been better and i've realized that you can only care so much for people, but if your fucked up there is no hope for you in the long run. Now personally i don't fit in this category, however most of my idiot friends (who just happen to be women) fall right into the bunch.

 For example, i got this friend, lets call her lola. She is one of these life changing people. She had a dumb fuck for a boyfriend. It got to the point where she was turning bi-psycho on all of us. Complaining that he doesn't make her feel good...fuck that, if i was her i would have left that train back at the station and never give him another ride. She, however, thinks that when they get back together for the second or fiftieth time it's going to be good forever. Well listen up, if you got annoyed by johnny a few months ago for stupid shit, chances are it's gonna happen again. You think that just because you spent a month apart it's gonna be any better. It's just gonna get worse, i've seen this shit a milloin times. There is always a couple in my life that is like this. Every case it's the same lines. " He's changed, he loves me for who I am, we've worked things out, we both go to church now, we need each other."  I'm not feeling sorry for you anymore, all you needed to do was fuck someone else. Am I wrong?

I got this other fried who got dumped, and he thinks he can fix it.In this man's case the verdict is no hope in hell. He visits me at work and shows me a picture on his cell phone of this girl. This girl looked like she wouldn't touch his dick even if it were a 39 1/2 foot pole. Just because you got lucky and she relized what a loser you are she took off. He tells me that there is something there, bullshit! Read through the lines, SHE LEFT FOR A REASON! IF SHE REALLY LOVES YOU SHE WILL COME BACK. So please try to find someone else and in your case lower your fucking standards, cause you are far from hansome and there are alot of great girls out there if you wern't so pig-headed.

Now back to me, hopefully i'll get good enough at comedy so i can give you a show. But for now it's just gotta be these blogs and more time at the lodge. I guess in your eyes all blog and no play makes us all fucking crazy.

                                                     Your pal

                                                         NotePad Nate

These lyrics to this song by the foo fighters(Another Round)...

When she goes storming out 
I run for cover 
Rolling like thunder clouds 
Hanging above her 

Ring in the witching hour 
Spells that I'm singing 
Rain come and drown me out 
Sinking deep alone 

Can you go another round? 
I will follow you down and out 
Lets go another round 
I will follow you down and 

We could just lay around 
Stare at the ceiling 
Want to forget about 
One for the feeling 

Room for photographs 
Box full of letters 
Come on make it last 
Nothing else matters right now 

Can you go another round? 
I will follow you down and out 
Lets go another round 
I will follow you down and out 

Can you go another round? 
I will follow you down and out 
Lets go another round 
I will follow you down and out 

Lets go another round 
I will bother you down and out 
Lets go another round 
I will follow you down and out

Are really helping me but at the same time i must ask...What now?

I would like to talk about President Clinton. I just watched him on my favorite program "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" and I feel that we should find a way for him to come back to office as President of the United States. I was never more moved when he talked of his plans with Jon Stewart. Who cares if he got a blowjob from a very unattractive lady? He was just do for one, we all know that Hillary could never keep her mouth shut long enough for him to slide little Bill in there. He got a BJ from an ugly girl, 75% of all men have had to settle for ugly. So what if he needed a hummer every now and then. At least his hummer isn't destroying our environment at 10 MPG. Are you fucking kidding me! It's either we have a president that kills innocent Iraqi Hospitals and schools on a daily basis, or a president who needs five minutes in the green room and a podium with a little more Head Space. You Decide.

People don't respect art anymore. I just recently met somebody who I had planned to be friends with from most of our conversation. Until I brought up music, the third person I have ever met who doesn't like Weird Al Yankovic. How in the Hell do you not like Weird Al? Please...Send me a message with your response if you do or don't (wrong) like him. This dipshit couldn't give me a decent answer. I want a good one if you don't like him, don't just rant...think good and hard before you send me a message, because then you might realize that your an Idiot!

I'm sick of ads taking up my beloved porn sites. Look, I'm a man that loves to see lots of straight naked sex. Pop-ups drive me insane! Can't I just look at porn anymore without any interruptions? It's already hard enough to fire one off and not get it on the keyboard. Pages come up that you don't want to see. For example, I'm looking at this site, pretty basic next thing I know Bam! Look at what this donkey can do to this hot young teen! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Come on computer...not when I'm mid-spank.I even got one from a Mormon Church site (No kidding), so I think they really need to work on pop-ups for the porn sites because personally it's a threat to national security.

Please, for the love of god, let Willie Nelson go. Of coarse he's gonna have a lot of weed and narcotics, he's WILLIE FUCKING NELSON! I hope that when he goes on the stand in front of a judge he says, "Well judge, I'm Willie Nelson, what do you expect a bag of funions?" I'm just surprised that they arrested him. Shit they don't arrest the president for possession of cocaine and WWFS (Walking While Fuckin Stupid). This is the man who thinks narcotics are a threat to national security. So basically he want's all the drugs confiscated and given to...well, himself and his DEE DEE DEE brother. So they should let Willie be Willie because as long as we have a dipshit running the world, we might has well have an awesome pothead entertaining us.

The time is now!

When watching the Daily Show I noticed they had a clip of President Clinton getting pissed of at a Dumb-shit news anchor for asking him," Why didn't you do enough to stop osama bin laden while you were in office." That's when I realized that if an ex-president can stand up to the assholes at fox news...than why can't we. I'm serious; we need to stop getting news filtered by republicans. Fox news only wants to here about war and why queers ain't allowed to fight. It is so ridiculous that we have to dishonorably discharge smart well-educated soldiers because they're homosexual. Old moronic cavepeople (hard-core conservatives) don't want anything that involves change, and why? because it scares them...it makes them think different and they don't like it. Perhaps the reason there scared of it is because maybe they lack the brain capacity. What do you expect from republicans, all they do is question the "wrong" in their eyes? They are so protective of their old way of life the question it very snarky. Just like how they blamed 9/11 on Bill Clinton, that's right, blame it on the guy that did things "wrong." Well you know what, this goes out to every person that believes in "wrong", FUCK YOU! It's time to fight back against these assholes...Join me everybody, The time is now!

To hell with cell phones! I can't take it anymore. Why does everyone have this soul-sucking device? These people that think there so goddamned important that they have to take it EVERYWHERE. Good lord you know who you are and you should freaking die. I can't even stand the fuckin ringtones anymore, can you? It used to just be a little annoying montage of beep sounds. Now it's like music that I hate…following me everywhere. I don't want to hear Kanye West, I don't, I don't. Especially in the fuckin elevator, the only time I was ever cheering for the muzac to be louder. It's always rich white boys that have those ringtones too. White people have no business listening to Kanye West, get your fucking riverdance ringtones and dance off the empire state building. Haven't we had enough of cell phones in the cars please and thank you? These cock-sucking businessmen with their flashy small dick convertible corvette that cost more than you'll make in your life. I hope he gets an incoming call from the angel of death and slams into a brick wall. Then gets sent to hell where his is hourly sodomized with a flagpole.

The Only One

Horror movies are supposed to be rated "R". We (horror fans) have an obsessive need to see not only gore but also sex and nudity. We need to see a bunch of dumb bitches getting hacked up by a psycho killer. However now it's not as likely to see an R rated film in your local movie theater. Statistics have shown (recently) that after-school PG-13 thrillers are more appropriate for today's youth. You know what...fuck that! I saw some of the best horror movies when I was a teen and i'll never forget how excited I was seeing people getting mangled. Now don't get me wrong, there have been occasional movies that were rated PG-13 that scared me (The Ring), but your missing of the point of the genre. BLOOD! For fuck sakes. We all need to see it damnnit. So please all you directors out there, please give us some guts, tits, and gory. The only one who can get away with no blood in his horror films...M. Night Shyamalan.

Commercial Carrot Waxing

Why on earth after a certain time it's okay to start masturbating? Masturbation can be done any time of any day, it's a ritual for men, and we don't need a specific time. You might say "Hold on N8, what the hell are you talking about?" Well I've noticed in my recent time off that according to most cable networks (including comedy central) that during the hours of 11:30pm-3: 30pm is time for pulling your prick. If you watch anything in that time frame you will notice that there are two commercials they play over and over. Number one with a bullet is "Girls Gone Wild."Now personally GGW never bothered me until now, it's not that they play it, it's that they play the same commercial over and over. Every commercial has been the same since they started it…just new titties. Number two, EXTENZE! This is a product that "enlarges your penis through masturbation."Not only are they giving you the girls but they're also giving you the juice. They try to make stroking the hose cool. How cool is it to see a lonely man on his couch shipping his package cool? That is definitely not cool, so please just show those commercials all the time, and not so often. We've all seen it, and we're gonna see it again. Now for GGW, make your commercials longer with no commentary, because the last thing I want to hear when I'm gripping my noodle is a man's voice. As for EXTENZE! Don't charge so much for your bottles, I'm unemployed, Besides I prefer the pump. So for all of us Jackers, rent some porn like we use to do. It's not about the method of churning our wieners; it's about the variety.

I'm toasted

I'm no longer a teenager, my crazy days have either gone and passed or are still in the future. But lets not talk about me, lets talk about something more important than you and me…my comedy. You may say that I'm wasting your time by mentioning my beloved stand up comedy again. So I'm gonna get all of your guy's opinions yet again for my future bulletins are going to be mainly things that I have in my little funny note book. When I do so, each bulletin that I put out I want only the most honest opinions about my perfectly written comedy and humorous truth analogies. So for all of you that waited effortlessly for a new sweet bulletin…sorry. I just turned twenty fuckin one and right now I'm very drunk. So don't worry, when I sober up I'll post my classics. Peace my fellows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! –N8-

All right, I've had it up to here with this goddamn Mark Foley scandal. The fact remains that he was trying to get a page to talk dirty to him through instant messaging. First off, whoever uses text messaging or instant messaging for rubbing the rod is a fucking idiot. If your jerking off to words maybe you should hide the dictionary under your mattress. What the hell is going on in this world were people could get away with this for so long. The biggest concern with the republicans is that he was gay. "We've known of his insane behavior for years, I wish we could have stopped this homosexual for his heinous crimes." How in the fuck can you think his problem is that he is gay? Those asshole republicans are just trying to convince the entire general public that all homosexuals act this way. Well guess what? You're a fucking moron, My best friend is a homosexual and he acts nothing like that, so you can take your statement, fold it up nice and tight…and shove it up your ass. Republican Mark Foley was flirting with an underage page, I'll say that again "UNDERAGE." Not that he was a boy, who gives a shit what the page was, its still wrong goddamnit. They want him to go quickly because he is a republican, because republicans hate everything, even on one station they said he was a democrat…he's a pedophile, leave it at that.

In my brain I found a thought that I would like to share with you. "Why do people only assassinate the good people." What the hell is that about…you'd think that the dumb-shits would be the first to go right? We need to stop shooting the good ones for crying out loud, this government must get their kicks from killing people who really matter. I feel we need to start killing bad people to catch up from all the good who have fallen. Number One…Kevin Federline, I and everyone else hates your fucking guts so you need to go. Donald Trump said that he loves him so that just shows you one of the idiots in charge. As soon as Federline is killed, watch the government start to crumble. Now I know most of you think that I am crazy for thinking that Trump is in charge of the world, well let me hit you with some knowledge. Money controls all in Washington, just take a look at the facts that brings us number two (which is a double homicide). Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld, I'm saying Rumsfeld not just he has the brain of a monkey, but he is creepy, we have no room for creeps in this world. Now Cheney and Rumsfeld are both greedy rich bastards. Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld do on a daily basis what Enron did, the only difference is they still get away with it. Cheney got away with not only trying to take over the world but shooting his friend in the face…Lets retaliate. Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are alot like Pinky and The Brain, one is an idiot and the other is obsessed with power. Now a lot of you are wondering why I don't kill the president on my list and the answer is this. After we take care of Dick and Donald, we can throw him back with the rest of the sheep up on Brokeback Mountain.

I'm gonna make this short and sweet for god sakes. I am so fucking sick of these bulletins that are nothing more than chain letters in disguise. Stop it, I'm sick of clicking on bulletins and getting that shit. If your gonna post a bulletin for crying out loud have something important to say. We need to stop these people with their slightly retarded stories with the same note on the bottom about sending it to other people and stupid shit will happen. So if you see shit from these assholes, get there profiles and delete the fuckers from your list and send them a nice peace of shit in there mail boxes with a note that says smear this all over your face (most of them already include this in their daily routine anyway).

(Here's mine) Send this to 800 people and a horse won't sodomize you repeatedly in front of your grandparents…living or dead.

We are not the average, yes, anyone who reads this must realize that you don't fit in with the average. The average are the type of people who don't find me funny. It's true, I was just at a store and something happened, so I felt the need to comment on it, to bring humor to the situation. Only two people thought it was funny, and I must say if I remember what I said I could tell you but it was "A" material. Two laughs…that's when I realized how hard it must be to be a comedian who has to perform in the daytime. The reason why a lot of bad comedians (Dat Phan) get laughs, it's because people are either to drunk or to slap happy to realize what's going on. I got to tell you that those kind of (fake) comedians piss off really talented ones. I'm angry that they are getting success that does not belong to them. Why does life always do that to people, because the dumb ones are running the world? Fuck that shit I am tired of no talent getting recognition, I was honestly surprised the K-Fed didn't get anywhere. With how this world is run, he should have been the most popular icon. Yet they're still on magazine covers, no talent…being talked about. You know who deserves to be on the cover of a magazine…George W. Bush, then they might get the idea.