You just have to go to shidathecheetah.blogspot.com to see them.

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I'm trying to eat healthier and rid my body of all of these filthy toxins.
I’ve increased my sulfur intake by avoiding poultry (which, by the way, my stomach is tending to dislike lately), and eating more red meat. In turn the amount of sulfur in my body should increase and push out all of the toxins, etceteras. I’m also taking 500mg of glutathione a day. Glutathione is a super antioxidant that neutralizes the free radicals in your body. On top of that, I’m trying to improve my intake of fiber from what it usually is (0 to 10 grams a day on average, lol) to what it should be (25 – 35 grams a day… Yikes). It’s harder than it sounds. The fiber will aso aid in ridding my body of toxins. After all of this hard work, my outcome should be healthier, more even toned skin.

[That would make me happier than a bird with a french fry.]

I think all of this ‘toxin-ridding’ I’m doing is causing me to be quite a bit irritable though. I can’t stand peoples stupidity as easily I used to (and believe me, I know a LOT of stupid people), and I’m going through hell trying to be “The calm one” still between Sean and I.

To make matters worse, he’s trying to quit smoking.
If you’ve ever had a loved one at this point in their life…

Yeah.

You know how it feels.

Nothing you ever say or do is right, or right enough. You can’t speak without being immediately shut down by a bout of negativity, and when you call them out on it they look at you like you’re the one flipping your lid. Maybe I should join some kind of “My Boyfriend is Trying to Quit Smoking/GodHelpMe” support group. (lol)

[Dramatic, but true...]

In lighter news, it WAS nice out today so maybe he went skateboarding and got it all out. (lol)
In heavier news however, he didn’t respond to a single message today.
But enough of that.


More news. Better news.
I kind of have a new job. But it’s a secret where it is or what I do or well… Actually everything about it is a secret. Haha! I haven’t even told Sean yet, but he (and one other guy whom I won’t name for the sake of me not getting bitched at) gave me the idea some time ago. If I work at least 30 hours a week, it’ll pay well, and the best part is that I can play videogames while I work. Seriously, for the past two days I’ve been leveling up my FF12 characters while I worked.

Speaking of work, I’d really like to know where my wacom tablet stylus has gone to. I lose everything… I JUST found the other part of my bathtub stopper that lets me turn the shower head on (I’ve been having to do it manually until yesterday). I lost it months ago! And now, I can’t find the stylus to my wacom tablet which makes the entire thing totally useless.

Well, I’ve got things to do and stuff, so I’ll end this now.

Talk to you guys later loves!




Send me messages and leave me comments.






Note: Neither of the photos are mine this time. I got lazy. lol

No, seriously. He probably does by now.
And he never replies to anything I send him via phone, myspace, or email; not to mention he didn't exactly sound flattered to hear from me on the phone yesterday.
Or. I could just be being paranoid again. I mean, after all, I did have that dream - like 2 days after we validated that our relationship existed - that he cheated on me with some curly-haired blonde. And every time I have a dream that a guy cheats on me it happens, so I'm a tad bit on edge. Not like it matters anymore... I'm beginning to think I deserve it for some reason. I've never cheated on anyone, but if it keeps happening to me there must be a reason... Right? Then again this whole 'relationship drama tundra' is probably my fault for walking in to it anyhow. I had a rule not to date on guys on the rebound and went and did it anyhow. The rule was set up by me to save my own feelings. Why? Because every time I date a guy who has been in a relationship less than two months before he and I get together, he winds up FINALLY getting over her a month later, and getting over me just as well and suddenly would rather be single. In other words... I get used.


So here I am, babysitting to miniature daushunds and loving the up-fuck out of it. I might keep them. If Sean leaves me, I probably will out of angst. I so tired of pointless, machismo induced breakups. Anyhow, I'll leave that talk for later (or never) since I've not been happy almost all month anyway. The black one's name is molly. The brown polka-dotted one is Soldier. I bought them little collars and leashes and food bowls and puppy training pads today. Molly is a bit of a dumbass, but she's the sweetest little co0dependant thing. Soldier is totally testosterone driven and a littler bigger. I adore his personality because he - unlike Molly - doesn't cry when I leave. Yeah, Molly is a pansy but I really like how calm she is. She just... Needs to learn to poo on the potty mat. I don't think they're but 3 or so months old, so I guess she's got time.


My mother has been driving me batty with all of this depressing talk of my little sister and delusional talk of my little sister and bullshit talk about nothing - namely me. She kept asking me if I was pregnant because I was always sleeping and always at Sean's. Now, I've never been the kind to yell at my mother, but I've started to lately because she won't listen unless you do. Sean is supposed to be picking me up today... I'm praying she doesn't call.

You know what I can't stand? Moon pies. I'm not sure why, but I just don't like 'em. Maybe because I was nearly force-fed them as a kid whenever I stayed here in TN. You know what else I hate? Conversational debates on religion. I can't stand it. Keep your fucking ideals to yourself, people. I don't believe any one religion is right, so why down any of them? Don't get me wrong, we all do it. Even I do, honestly. But I never let it turn into a conversation. Especially not the laughing, joking, "Are those idiots serious?!" kind.That's just plain ignorance to me.

I had a great time at Lexy's place the other day. She wound up naked, and I took some pictures and an HD video with my new Casio Exilim (sp?).


Business-wise, things are... Okay. They could be better, but they're not and I'll deal with that on my own, I suppose. Tey'll pick back up as soon as I get my passport so I can model again. Because now, even implied nudes require two forms of I.D. and I don't have a lisence. I need to buy another printer too... And order that board for alex but I can't do either until my aunt lets me know if I'm getting any more money.

If you look really close at my default, you can see through my skirt.

I had the weirdest dream tonight. I can't recall a thing except Lexy and a removable ponytail, a wig, a guy with either a mowhawk or a spikey mullet, and... Umm... *squints eyes* Some crazy ass stuff going on. So crazy that I really, truly can't recall the nature of them. I made the mistake of falling asleep interstitally again. I do recall a part at some house. I was walking around in what I'm wearing now (undies and a T-Shirt), and I fell asleep hanging patially off of a couch. Foeet on the floor, legs bent, torso just ever so slightly still on the couch, arms to the sides resting on the pillows. My head was tilted down and my eyes were closed, and that's when I realised I was neither asleep nor awake (hence it being interstitial). Someone walked past the door way in front of me across the room, and asked me a question. With my eyes still closed I said no, and felt myself say it aloud in my sleep. Then I tried to open my eyes but they were heavier than lead. With my eyes closed I could see my bedroom as if there was actually ample light to do so, and at the same time I could see me in my dream. It was rather odd to say the least. I just wish I could recall everything that happened in it.

Anyhoo~
I've written enough for now. Everyone should be updated by now, if not go visit me at twitter (username: ShidatheCheetah) and catch up and follow me, and if you're still not caught up by then, go here (myspace.com/ikon_skateboards).


Thanks dolls!

- Shida (The Cheetah)

So, I ran in to Desmond Walker today at Dollar General.
Desmond was the biggest crush on any guy I went to school with in my entire 'highschool career'. Albeit a crush all the way back in the 9th grade,  when I got in the line and looked up and realized it was him, my stomach did somersaults. Little Skullerflies went for dances near my navel and my heart was... Well, I think it stopped for a second or two. Anyhow, suddenly I couldn't lift my head or look anyone straight in the eye. Every second seemed to take 3 seconds longer than it normally would, leading each minute into three, and each 3 minutes into eternity.

I watched him and his friend walk out of the door of the DG from my peripheals. My heart slowed, time sped up. I realised I was fidgety and shaky. Shaky with a smile. I payed quickly and made my way out only to notice...


He was outside with his friend waiting on me! How'd I know he was waiting just for me? His friend convieniently said, "Here she comes!" As I walked out of the door (if only i had a dime for every time I heard that... lol).

As I walked I said, "Desmond Walker~!" with a bigass smile on my face. He cheesed and just kept looking at me. I don't remember much of the conversation. It went by so fast... He asked me what I was doing around, and I told him where I lived. A few sentences later I kind of smiled and rolled my eyes and then said I'd see him around.


Despite all the awesomeness of feeling butterflies again (a feeling I've not felt in ages, and therefore I forgot I could feel it) there was a downside to the breif moment a la Desmond. Suddenly, all of these 'suppressed' insecurities I used to have back in highschool came gushing back. I could hear the little voice in my head, "I'm not pretty enough." "How's my makeup?" "I'm not good enough." "Does my hair look alright?" It didn't help that I was only out to get food so I didn't bother sprucing up too much.

I was so shaken up by the time I got home that I had to be the depression eater that I thought I kille din highschool and eat some swiss rolls...





Oh, well.
It's all over now.
I get to go back to life as is.




Nothing exciting never happens to me anymore.




No more new love interests.
No more exciting adventures.
No more nightly parties.
Not enough money.


How annoying
If life is this dull while I'm 18 going on 19 (this june!)...
What do I have to look for for the entirety of my 19th year? It's my last year to be a teenager... It has to be better than late January through now...




I guess having my phone cut off wasn't the best 'excitement stimulator' though...


*sigh*















Everything sucks.

What the hell am I doing here exactly?
I wonder how much it really matters...

....

You Are an Ectomorph

You are thin and lean. You don't put on weight easily. Ectomorphs are known for being private, introverted, and brilliant. It's likely that you are introspective, philosophical, and even artistic. Other people tend to make you a bit tense, but being alone is both inspiring and comforting.

....

You Would Sell Out for $1,064,808

And not a penny less!

....

You Are Genial and Polite

You are optimistic and hopeful. Sometimes you do get disappointed by expecting too much.         You are generally confident and friendly with strangers. You are well mannered and sociable.         Money is fairly important to you. You aren't super greedy, but you enjoy spending money on yourself.         You are curious about ideas. If you had the means, you'd like to explore the whole world.

....

You Are the Innovator

You're the type of person who is always a step ahead of everyone else. You thrive when you're experimenting with new designs, ideas, and attitudes. You are a creative person with many talents. You have to have artistic outlets in your life. You need to create - whether it's writing furiously or redecorating your home. If not, your life becomes chaotic. You tire of doing the same thing every day. You change your job, friends, and personal style often. You are at your best when you have a focus. If not, you develop a flaky artist's temperament.

....

Your Heart Doesn’t Need Love Now

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

....

It's Rather Easy For You to Fall in Love

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves. You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't? You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky. In fights, you love to debate and defend yourself. You logic prevails - or at least you'd like to think so. You have a hard time ending relationships, even if the other person says it's over.

....

You Are Medium Maintenance

You aren't as hard to deal with as some girls But you aren't the most laid back chick either You're easy to deal with 90% of the time, but watch out for that 10%! If the guy you are with has good intentions, then calm down a little But if he's really screwing up, don't waste your breath - move on :-)

....

You Should Be a Puppeteer

You are an entertainer - pure and simple. You know how to engage an audience. You are a natural storyteller. You are naturally dramatic, even when life doesn't call for drama. Luckily though, you save most of your drama for your stellar performances.

....

You Would Be a Good Spouse 90% of the Time

You have what it takes to be an amazing wife or husband. You are caring, patient, giving, and romantic. You are willing to work for a marriage. More than anything, you're not about to let your ego ruin a relationship. You are humble and unselfish. And that's the key to being a good spouse.

....

You Are A Thoughtful Idealist

You are scared of new experiences. It's hard for you to break outside of your comfort zone. You like to think that people are impressed by you. You know that you have a lot to offer. You are a very romantic person. You can't help but see the world as it should be. Right now, you feel very trapped in your life. You often feel like there is no way out of your rut. Overall, your life is calm and steady. Not much stirs you, and each day is full of joy. You are extremely optimistic about the future. You feel like things are always getting better.

....

You Belong in Generation X

You fit in best with people born between 1961 and 1981. You are fun, laid back, and very independent. You are willing to take risks and live your life however you see fit. You are casual, accepting, and friendly. You see everyone as your equal.

...Lol Wow.