Current mood:
contemplative
Category: Romance and Relationships
We all go through it, I love him, but He or she doesn't treat me the way, I need to be or should be treated.. Yet, everytime he/she comes around you loose your self control, and all that shit you was talkin, goes right out tha door!
Why Change Is Difficult
Every Person, place, thing, time, or event that is consistent in our life will define us more lastingly as a personality by its repetitive exposure. We become neurologically wired to an association with every one of these elements, and the effect is that they become part of our neural processes and reaffirm who we are.
For every known element in our life, we have an existing neural representation in the form of people, things, times, places, and events, and each neural representation, connects every person place thing time and event to a specific feeling. We can begin to see why change is so difficult.
Changing a person, place, thing, time, or event in our life means that we are breaking the neurochemical circuit that we have kept intact by continuoius stimulaiton.
If I ask you to start using a new order of action while brushing your teeth or drying yourself off after your shower, you may not be able to do it, you may do it but feel a great deal of discomfort, or you may do it but quickly abandon the effort. You will most certainly tend to return to the easier more familiar way. That tendency is the habit you need to break if you want to change your mind and no longer remain stuck in a the familiar.
Imagine, then, what kind of effort it would take if I were to ask you to end a relationship with someone who repeatedly deals blows to your self-esteem and has done so for the last 15 years. If we have grown accustomed to feeling unworthy, It is the routine, familiar, natural, easy way that we have been thinking and feeling about ourselves. Those thoughts are based on memories that we have of our interaction with that person. Those memories have feelings associated with them, and those feelings are neurochemically based.
!!! More important !!!, if we decide to alter the dynamics of our relationship with a particular person in our life who has been close to us, the change that is represented by heartache and suffering is likely ... just the chemical feeling that we are missing from ceasing to fire the same synaptic neural networks. The lack of stimuli from the environment (not seeing, touching , smelling , feeling and hearing that person) will no longer fire the neural nets associated with that person. That stoppage presents the release of specifiec chemicals from the brain that feed the body to make a feeling. Regardless of whether a feeling is positive or negative, It results from the release of certain chemicals. LOVE, ( or what we think is love) then, may indeed be all about chemistry.
CONTINUE - ADDICTS AND WITHDRAWAL