i'm so very sorry i hurt you earlier today.

i have a thousand thoughts running thru my head but can't make sense enough to write them down.

my fever is/was 101.8, i dunno now what it is - but i am still very hot anyway.

who reads my blogs? i don't understand how my count goes so high without having anyone subscribed (save four people - but one of them hasn't even been on in months again), so please be kind enough to at least - this time - just leave a comment that says you read me...and/or why...

god bless the internet, ebay, amazon and paypal for access to music, hardware and literature.

my mouth tastes like stale cigarettes and brownies.

i need to go to sleep now.

its a meme of sorts......

(i loves me some good meme now and then...)

firstly, scroll down and do exactly

 this:

Leave your name in my blog comments.

go on.

go do it,

then,  come back up here -

lord knows i am not going anywhere just now...

............................... copy/cut here ...........................                              

Once you do that, this is what I'll do .....

1. I'll respond with something random (and probably nice) about you.
2. I'll tell you which movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a moment where you got a reaction (loudly or quietly) out of me.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you (if good) or lie my ass off (if it's bad).
6. I'll bluntly ask you something I've always wondered about you.
7. I'll challenge you to try something.
8. I'll tell you something I like about you.
9. I'll tell you what book reminds me of you.

.................................. copy/cut here .............................                          

thanks to Erika the Tai, and my Wifes' follow-ups ( i am always the last one to catch up to the game....)

so, once you have left your name (which i suppose really isn't necessary as your i.d. will be there anyway if you just comment below), you can then copy and paste this into your own blog(s) and see who takes ya up on the altruistic tendency of the generosity of the writer(s) you are currently reading... and learn 9 (count them - n i n e) new things about yourself from another POV!

trust in me, have faith - i personally have over half a century of randomness to pull from now - so your results will vary wildly and be intrinsically unique to only you!

ok - opening my rolodex.........let's go!

oh, the music notation here is because the damned java script isn't working again to add to "post to my blog"...

"right.

right, ya bloody well right,

ya got a bloody right... to say - y - y - yyy"

Supertramp " Crime Of The Century "

REMASTERED 180 Gram Vinyl Record Album LP
By Supertramp

note the distinction of the above: why you may ask?

 
  just because i can!

new usb2 turntable with stanton cartridge (amazon dot com) - vinyl direct to hard drives means that the over 35,000 pieces of rootbeer stored in the garage all these years can now be safely transferred to our awesome dell media edition compy,

and then lovingly played out thru our deluxe surround speakers (amazon dot com) attached to said compy to lovingly caress my aging ears and take me back to specific moments in my life(pre-amazon dot com) - all registered with the warmest of analog playback thru each and every note i now hear again........ it's like having a reunion with everyone you ever met in life  - even if it was a fleeting glance their direction and a split seconds eye contact, but when you hear the hiss, the snaps, or the crackles - or with the half mastered deluxe verso of course - you don't hear it -

it immediately puts you in a void in the time/space continuum that only your inner most subconcious would remember until the aural (s)excstacy pouring from the speakers throws open the blinds to your mind and the cover art and liner notes wash the backs of your corneas again like it was

 yesterday......... 

all this and more is available from amazon dot com.........

oh wait -

 the album currently in rotation?

um, sorry.

no.

they  are even nice enuff tho',  to state that it may never be in stock again - they just don't know...

well,

now that i am burning vinyl to bits and bytes -

i may be persuaded to

part

with

my

heirloom copy..........

for the right amount of

whatever

you may have to part with.

damn.

it shore feels gud-nuff to write again....

this boy got WORDS.

and lots and lots and lots of "rootbeer"...

... and was interrupted as i sat down to get started by a blank message with no icon/pic image and the subject line:

VW’s, Trampolines and Gay Bars.

i’ll write more on that later, almost dismissed it as spam... suffice to say it was a friend long since out of touch for almost 30 years - the last conversation we had was via transatlantic phone call in the middle of the nite (pst time) to him in australia (the next day time) while we watched the americas cup race.

 the year dennis conner won i think.

my reason to write as stated above?

(lest i digress yet again...)

i am sitting on the couch watching "ace of cakes" on the food channel, and laying across my chest is my daughter - who will be six months old officially in 9 days.

this is the second time in less than an hour we have tried this game of her going to sleep so that i can go to sleep, she truly faked me the first round after i laid her down in her crib and went outside to have a last smoke for the evening ( i am quitting again - but it is tapering off till the chantix kicks in week one all over again for me - so back the fuck off about holier than thou and smoking and babies and all that...)

the first trip into her crib she felt like she weighed considerably more - i was feeling the strain in my lower back a bit as i stood from the couch position to carry her in, and then reaching down into the crib it just all felt heavy...

i am outside and smoking - enjoying the chill of the late evening air and i hear her...

she has this most peculiar growling sound she has adopted as of late when she talks to her cribmates...and it is LOUD... and i realise as well - the monitor is on and clear in the bedroom where my wife is asleep awaiting morning for her ritual of get up - get out  to work, and i jumped back inside as i didn’t want her awakened by jessica’s banter....

so - back to the couch with us, back to our position of her across my chest, head cradled/tucked into the crook of my elbow where within three minutes tops - she will break into a sweat from our combined body heat ratios ( we both run overly high body temps it seems - probably explains my penchant for nudity around the house anyway - different story yet again - different times)

as she drowses off, she has this penchant for tugging at anything her chubby little fingers can get a hold of on my face/neck/side of my head - whatever is within reach.

this time she has them firmly embedded in my lower lip, having already scratched the interior of my left nostril with her thumbnail earlier today; so i am trying hard to avoid that one again.

i let her have my lip - it usually only lasts a moment or two before she moves on to something else anyway...

i am sitting there, gazing down my nose at her, one eye barely open to show me she is still aware that we are up and not sleeping as we both should be, and i start crying.

tears streaming down my cheeks like rivers.

i want to say it is because she has my lip in her grip - a grip like no normal six month old should have yet - but she really isn’t your normal six month old as we have come to see more every day.

i tend to do this more as of late than i am used too for some unknown reason, and don’t regard it as a bad thing really - it just shows me that i am afterall; human with feelings and emotions that flood to the surface when least expected.

but what got me excited enough to sit down and actually write something again was the matter of the second trip to the crib...

this time...

she feels like she weighs mere ounces... and i don’t know why - but i felt like i was walking on air and had to tell the world about it.

and i feel fucking fantastic.

i am a father, a husband...

http://s21.photobucket.com/albums/b258/dversteegh/?action=view&current=10-20pmphotoshoot032.jpg" target="_blank">..http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b258/dversteegh/10-20pmphotoshoot032.jpg" border="0" alt="Daddy’s Girl">

i promise.

i will return...

i have so much cool stuff to convey to all my dedicated readers...

i promise.

i will return

and

write

and

write

and

write

till my fingers bleed across the page.

so, we have a rule:

"no smoking in the house."

and yours truly has broken it     and done so in a grand way!

I left a cig burning in the ashtray Friday while I got Asher ready for garduation at school, and was feeling a bit rushed.... came back out to the desk to see the cig laying across the keyboard melting it's way into the keys.

very nice  - fried the F5 and number ^ six keys(which now has a small portion of a wooden stick match in the hole to activate it - looks a lot like the old "thumb cursor" on IBM think pads... that little red fuzzy bump in the middle...)   not so bad, save for the fact that this is a BRAND NEW Keyboard not even 48 hours old to replace the last one from a coffee spill       and this one has the "anti spill" features to protect it for just this reason..., any way...   a new one to replace the old one and the new one has been ordered from Amazon and is on  it's way here to again serve duty........   so  

new rules:

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b258/dversteegh/myspace_trash.jpg" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting">

the image speaks for itself.......... or      apparently doesn't yet.  Ask MySpace why they don't show up and get a form letter stating the obvious, but not answering the question at hand..... go figger.

ain't technology grand?

... so Rina, Asher and I  decided on Taco Bell night before last to get some dinner after sitting in the drivethru at KFC only to decide we didn't want it fried (and Asher commenting fromthe back seat that she didn't much care for it anyway - the last time her daddy got it for her it was yucky chicken...) and we pull into the drivethru to place an order....

they don't have the Chicken Ceaser Wraps anymore (mistake on thier part I truly believe) and placed the following order after a very disgruntled  disembodied female voice cackled from the order box to "order up WHEN you are ready then...." because we weren't quite ready to order as quickly as we pulled up to the line it seems...

rina:

"big nachos combo, one supreme taco,a bean and cheese burrito, and two beef chalupa supremes" she clearly stated to the guy who was now handling us, and he gets cut off immediately by that same cackle screeching thusly:

"We DON'T have beef - only steak."

Um

OK

So what is the difference? My steaks come from cows - which is the generic specific nom de plume for BEEF in my book - no? Yes?

So, moral of this quick entry?

TACO BELL doesn't have beef items on thier menu, and don't ask for them if you want steak instead.

Life in San Pedro goes forward.......

It starts at Chinese New Years, Chinatown Los Angeles...end of January...  Nine of us all together go to the parade, play with fire works, make fun of the new Mayor  Antonio 'If there's a camera in sight I am there' Villaraigosa  (afterall, ex-Mayor  Jimmy Hahn comes from San Pedro ya know...);   and get in a fight with snooty people across the street; then on the way back to the car my sister says "Lets get Ashley a turtle!"  (Apparently since her daughter Alice has a menagerie we must now also build a zoo here in San Pedro)... Mom frowns and agrees....   Hence, we get two.  "Well, they do so much better in pairs ya know..."

Back home, we start with a miniscule turtle tank for two......  and it grows from there.

            We decide we both want a new tank for fish again. I had a 150 gallon one way back in the day, and Rina got one during Ashers 9 month 'sleepover' to help her relax.....  so we find a 30 gallon tank in the recycler, comes with fish (of which we subsequently exchange all but two for our Africans, and if you look close in the image below - next to the heater - is the ONLY fish she named out of all of them... a Neon Tetra called Ballerina -  which "disappeared" about three weeks after we got the Africans) and all the fixins' and Rina shrewdly bargains the extra 10 gallon tank and cover out of the guy's garage as part of the whole deal.

so, i should be doing a myriad of things around the house here to be still catching up from last saturdays wedding extravaganza, but today i just want to sit and watch puppies lick my monitor screen from the other side........

I dunno why this amuses me so much.......

i'll be back again tomorrow       maybe........

yap yap yap yap yap

it's official...

"Mr. and Mrs." is the new moniker from now on when addressing us!

There are a few images under my pics section, as well as the new profile shot -

showing me reading my vows to my wife in between tears from all three of us pictured...

our officiant between us is my younger sister dale, whom we had ordained just for the ceremony as a special surprise to all who attended, so between her handling (which she did very admirably!) her first ever marriage ceremony, and crying because her big and only brother was getting married, and me crying (yeah? who doesn't cry at weddings?) while i started reading, and rina crying while i read to her, then more crying all around when she read to me - we pretty much watered the lawn at least where we stood in our back yard - and i think salty tears is good for the grass, right?

i'm a married man!  wooo  HOO!!

and just last friday i got a message in my comments from someone in Vermont who thought i was a good match for a friend of hers... but oh so sorry - my heart is right here in san pedro - now and forever more!

tasks at hand...   write more ( especially now that i see my view count rising dramatically every week in my stats counters) and if not more - at least more frequently then to just keep up on it all! 

post a link to the MSN Spaces page where the photo albums are at for the wedding shots since there are way too many to attempt enclosing here....

return comments to those who have left them for me  (bad, very bad at this one...)

recover from the shock that photobucket actually got religion i suppose and cleaned out certain "questionable" images from it's storage capabilities, then suggested i "upgrade my account" with them to hold more innocent images - which in turn leaves ugly little disclaimer boxes in my previous posts now - i mean, really; a shot of my pierced nipples? - can anyone tell me where to find a decent hosting/storage site that allows artistic impressionable  (read: sometimes blatantly in yer face nudity then) besides flickr and such sites that don't cost a fortune and lets you upload any images you wish anymore?

okay, long day turning into a longer night...

i will return tomorrow with more, and the promised MSN Spaces link where the images will be - although don't count on them all being captioned as of yet! LOL!!

hey - i just got married, give me a chance to get adjusted and come down from my floating head in the cloudness..........

specifically: "The Book Of Love"   track 10      and our wedding song! 

Rina has tagged me with this one, so here goes... my "tagee's" follow at the bottom...

7 Facts:

1.    I will be one step closer to my life goals in less than 87 hours... Rina will become my wife on April 22, 2006 around 3 in the afternoon!

2.   My fourth toe on each foot bends inwards at a 45 degree angle to the rest of them - a family trait I hear...

3.   I pierced my own nipples.

4.   For therapy - I prefer to do dishes than any other form of release.

5.   I once spent 55.00 on DimSum for Rina and myself - if you don't know what to measure this against - it was probably enough food to feed half a small nationality somewhere!

6.   I don't necessarily know the answer to everything, but feel free to ask anyway.

7.   I absolutely LOVE Marina!

I am tagging those in my contacts list - although not a lot of them - but enough to continue this onwards...

Tony, Oscar, Jesus and Nick.  (The others have already had it passed on)

waiting............

seems like all we do anymore. 

but i am always happy to wait to get the end result.   save for a day like yesterday - and then it follows with today - where the image above comes from. 

we had our first ultrasound for this new life we wanted to bring forth, and the technician told us the answer before we even went back in to see dr. cowan about it - her simple response when rina asked "do you see a heartbeat?":

"the doctor will talk to you about the test results"  she replied calmly and cooly as she went on probing and typing notes across the screen - it's blue gray light flickering before my eyes but out of rinas view, and though i have no idea what i was looking at really, i have some idea of what it should be and what to look for... the room and dead air between us therein was enough to tell it clearly, to shout and scream it out as if to tell the entire office around us...

no heartbeat.

no life.

no baby.

this time, again.

we are saddened, of course and we are unhappy, and rina endured uneeded pain on top of it all by having to go to the hospital today to followup with a unwanted procedure of course - and for me to sit and watch as tears stream down her cheeks everytime she turns to a new face to say it again - it destroys me inside. why does it happen? we don't know - no one person can say why or what the root cause is of course, and we question ourselves then as we withdraw to shield ourselves from the pain again -

"what did we do, what are we paying for this time that we did or didn't do before, did we forever miss our chances when we decided to wait? why us and why her?"  i ask inwardly... and get no real answers to help to figure it out.

so i sit and wait....

wait.  while she does her insurance paperwork.

wait.  while they take her in and prep her.

then we get to wait together, and i try to keep her comfortable,  but it isn't working - deep inside it still is just her having to endure it, not me except remotely by association.

they are running late, so the fact we had to get there two hours early, then add more wait time to it, and the anaesthesiologist shows up to explain his part in it all - she knows all too well having done this before, and she is ready to go in.

i am sent back to wait for the recovery room followup, where the image above comes from...  an hour later and i am called in to sit by her side - now she is groggy and in pain still - having awakened slightly just moments before, a second round of demerol and she feels better, but we still wait yet again.

another hour passes, and finally - after hearing the screams and struggles of a 15 year old who had a lacrosse accident and was in for surgery on his arm - when he awakes from the slumber he is extremely disoriented and yet, surprisingly strong -taking three attendants to restrain him while they get him sedated again before his mother comes in... this only adds to rinas discomfort being a mother herself - she feels his pain and agony of course.

wait another 15 minutes - now - go, get the car - we are released to go home and burrow ourselves away from the outside world and wait.....

wait to feel good once again.

my shirt today says i am her  "Knight in Shining Armour"  and that at least gets a smile from her dried lips as a elderly couple passes us and the wife asks her " is he?" ....  she replies quietly.....

"yes. he is."

all is good for a now....

i feel awful because i have neglected again lately, to attempt to stay even remotely current with my blogs...

but i have been very busy really, and being somewhat productive as well - yet at the same time - feeling like i am getting absolutely nothing done.

so - it's that 'at a crossroads - sitting on a fence - watching time fly' sort of thing...  just what exactly are good reasons to not  write something daily?

it's not like i am punching a time clock somewhere in a job scenario, or that i am off on a vacation and no access to a computer or the net, or even that i have nothing to say... i am just kinda distracted i suppose.

things and circumstances in and around my day to day life right now have probably never been better, i have a court date to look forward to for a settlement in my long standing battle against "big box orange", but at the same time there - it is still a matter of "hurry up and wait some more" till it gets here in january (not soon enough to make holidays easier - and i absolutely dislike giving gifts after the fact when money finally isn't the issue for lateness), and i am wondering what i get to look forward to with that date in mind... an idea of what to expect would lessen the waiting period, the anxiety over that waiting period; and of course - let me get a better idea of the direction i will be going - i like to have some inkling of it anyway to start planning now for my future at last.

and a lot of "pre-planning" i have been doing recently it is...  i need to seriously quit smoking - and am looking at hypnosis to get results this time (having quit twice before but not for good anyway), so if anyone has thoughts on this method - please let me know what you think or have tried or done otherwise. i am setting about a major event planning ahead also, and most of my time i guess is being consumed by all of this recently developing "planning"..... 

so, i will be back with more to say and see. and promise not to leave in the lurch any more without something at least once a week or so!

... just sitting,

 and putting fun things to pass the time out here for anyone to use.......

i did an "eye" post on my blogspot site that came out pretty cool, so i am using another of the fun tools from here: 

http://www.flash-gear.com

to place something in todays post...
the 'water' image below can  be generated from this link...

http://www.flash-gear.com/water/

the image below came from a weekend in mexico when we had tats done last july, the shop we go to had a girl who wanted this put across her back and shoulders, so i talked lalo into giving me a copy, and now cass uses it as her background at her space, and shane has it as wallpaper on his phone........ it's a interesting and arresting image to be sure, and the watery effect adds a little something for movement to it......

<OBJECT classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,0,0" WIDTH="452" HEIGHT="550" id="wat392785" ALIGN=""> <PARAM NAME=movie VALUE="http://six.flash-gear.com/water/wat.php?c=f&o=1&id=70896&k=1151980&s=30&w=452&h=550"> <PARAM NAME=quality VALUE=high> <PARAM NAME=wmode VALUE=transparent> <PARAM NAME=scale VALUE=noscale> <PARAM NAME=salign VALUE=LT> <PARAM NAME=bgcolor VALUE=#FFFFFF> <EMBED src="http://six.flash-gear.com/water/wat.php?c=f&o=1&id=70896&k=1151980&s=30&w=452&h=550" quality=high wmode=transparent scale=noscale salign=LT bgcolor=#FFFFFF WIDTH="452" HEIGHT="550" NAME="wat392785" ALIGN="" TYPE="application/x-shockwave-flash" PLUGINSPAGE="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></EMBED> </OBJECT>

no image?

go here:

http://six.flash-gear.com/water/wat.php?c=v&id=70896&k=1151980

... so another month gone, another one starts.

i have been lax in posting  and it shows in my stats counts lol!

so, gonna play catch up with a couple entries today, reminders from bulletin posts i never responded to and re-worked to fit here for now.....

my 7 sins: 

ANGER

1. Who did you last get angry with?
    My sister over a "missing" cigarettes issue at the family wedding Saturday.

2. What is your weapon of choice?
    My Vocabulary - immense and infinitely capable of damage.

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
    First or as a defensive measure? (I have never struck a Female as of yet in anger or defense posture...)

4. How about of the same sex?
    Well, I broke someone's arm once over three square feet of sidewalk that, by all rights; was mine first... (best friend at age seven)

5. Who was the last person who got angry at you?
    I truly can't recall, but I know someone who reads these who would think perhaps it may have been them...

6. What is your pet peeve?
    Ignorance for the sheer sake of not wanting to know more.

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
    I hold or bear no grudges, so I guess I let them go, maybe not easily, but I don't hold on to them for long either.

 

  

SLOTH

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you don't do?
    Shave, and shower and change my shirt - if I am not doing anything except sitting in this damn chair 95 percent of the time - what's the difference then? It's more a matter of "conservation of precious resources"...

2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
    All depends on what the previous 24 hours held or transpired, and then what time I went to bed before waking up, but there has been a couple where it was after 9 or 10 at night.

3. Who have you been meaning to contact, but haven't?
    Bob Friehoff, the man who became my "Father" after living with my Mom till she died (27 years), but there are issues with his ex-wife moving back in the day after the funeral and wake that are still unresolved for me. 

4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
    I told a guy today that I was selling something to someone else for more money because I got tired of waiting for him, instead of just saying I sold it - first come first served.

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
    A few times, but never have purchased anything from one.

6. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
    Surprisingly - today?... only once.

 

  
GLUTTONY

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
    Well, when I have money anyway, a hazelnut mocha from SB's I suppose - venti of course... 

2. Meat eaters:
    Still bleeding in the middle.......... 

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
    I once drank a quart of Southern Comfort out of a jar in my sophomore year at a party , and it pretty much cured me of ever doing excessive drinking again, but when I was turning 38, I was taken out for drinks for birthday, and had 9 beers and 9 shots in 45 mins time - I vaguely remember driving (yes - driving!) back to my coffeehouse with my head sideways on the window/door jamb of the car. 

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
    No.

5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
    No again, I used to think so, but now it appears to be the opposite - too thin and bony for one who matters to me... Hehehe! No more "head on my chest" till I fatten up again I guess... now THAT'S a good reason to gain weight!

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?
    All three, but the sweets win out for instant grats...

 

 

LUST

1. How many people have you seen completely naked (not counting movies/family)?
    Are we talking one to one/face to face,  or er; body/body? or just in general... locker rooms in high school and all that aside - many ( and some I am not proud to say I have seen also - but I do love the Human Body in just about any form...), and I have been in jail before too.... sooo..  but lately - only one who matters most.

2. How many people have seen YOU completely naked (not counting physicians/family)?
    Probably way too many to begin to count - I am an Exhibitionist by nature.

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?
I'm a butt guy , but yeah - breasts have a fascination for me ("Hello - I'm UP here!) as well as a certain rear view when bent over... if that possibility exists.

4. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
    The curves along shoulder to thigh when laying in bed beside one... who matters again! And really expressive yet dark eyes!

5. Have you ever been made a proposition to by a prostitute?
    Hehehe, yep!  Vegas, and Hollywood.

6. Have you ever gotten tested for STD's or pregnancy?
    Yep, just had it done in this last year too, and it's something that should be done for all irregardless - that's why they call it a FREE clinic... duh!

7. Is love at first sight really lust?
    More often than not - and only really if the heart doesn't guide you at first sight - if you have to think of/about it first, it's just lust after all.

 

 
GREED

1. How many credit cards do you own?
    Free and Clear with a balance to use to shop? None at this time, I have two Debit cards that are CC based though - so they will suffice.

2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
    The .99 Cents Store, tops my list... LOL!   But to just splurge, I suppose it would be Williams Sonoma or Sur le Table...

3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
    Invest in Real Estate, buy fixer uppers for re-sale, go shopping.

4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?
    I'm already both in some form or another, so no answer is necessary.

5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
    No, I have to be engaged in whatever I am doing...

6. Have you ever stolen anything?
    yeah, little things      a lot          and still do occasionally my forte' is "price manipulations" though... so throw me in jail now.... 'cuz it ain't gonna end anytime soon!

7. How many MP3's are on your hard drive?
    Less than a half dozen, no playback to use them with   so no need to fill the drive space then.

 

  
PRIDE

1. What is one thing that you've done that you're most proud of?
    Grew up a cognitive soul... 

2. What is one thing your parents are most proud of?
    The bastard father figure doesn't figure into it, and My Mother would have said that I am healthy and adjusted well - if she were still here to say it...... I was orphaned at age 45 from both in less than 6 months apart.

3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?
    More skepticism than passion for my compassion.

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
    No, because I still win even when losing...lessons learned and do so usually gracefully enough.

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
    Yes, and it bit me in the ass for being cocky! (ask me sometime to relate my "big screen" failure at Los Alamitos Race Course...I'm ALWAYS happy to tell that one.)

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
    More than likely yes but don't rightly recall it, but I have the capacity to do so anyway.

7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
    Yapped for hours with my pal in email........ and it felt great to do it!

 

  
ENVY

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
    I want for naught actually, I covet nothing that I cannot achieve myself - I want for LOVE only. 

2. Who would you want to go on "trading spaces" with?
    My Pal, My Best Friend, my one... She has a balanced view of the bottom line where I lack it straightforwardly.

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
    Hmm, anyone with the true conviction of the heart to say "no" and stand behind it.....

4. Have you ever been cheated on?
    My relationships that mattered to me turned out to be non relationships anyway save for the ONE (and I know no cheating was there), so I don't think I can say I have been the receiver of the cheat...

5. Have you ever cheated on someone?
    Yes. And it hurt               a lot    to both.

6. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
    Ummm, no - I measure UP just fine, but wish sometimes my eyes hadn't gone fuzzy on me.

7. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?
    ANGER - for numbers 2, 6, and 7 above.

 

 

 

 

Five words x 5

 

     Love Starts With The SELF.

    Give Love FREELY to Return.

    One Should Never HATE Anything.

    You Are Reason to BE.

    Say Anything, but Believe IT.

 

Four words x 4

 

    You MATTER to Me.

    Two can BECOME One.

    What Matters to YOU?

    How Does One SEE? 

 

Three words x 3

 

    I Love YOU.

    I Want YOU.

    I Need YOU.

 

    and a bonus... YOU Complete ME.

 

Two words x 2

 

    YOU Matter,

    I Succeed.

 

 

one word.

    

    YOU.