Kyle Why don't you just make a new ask jayvee every tuesday and thursday, that way you'll have something to do in our web design class. I will start doing that IF I get enough questions, like today
What are "sponges" made of? (not the sea sponge, the artificial one used for cleaning) Time for google: Sponges are made from foam polyurethane, processed with polymeric sheet, which contains the abrasive material. Different sizes and quantity of sponges in single packing allow to meet any buyer's requirements. They suit for washing the dishes without delicate surface, saucepans, pans, cookers, etc.
Why does Ahi pee on my lovesac? He hasnt been pottytrained. Keep spraying it with Axe and hopefully he will get the hint
Have you ever fallen asleep to porn and woken up to cartoon network? That's kinda scary. Yes
Who is the sexiest male actor? That guy who plays the human form of the Hulk... only because he looks kinda like yours truly ^.^
Is seabreeze green the new black? no
Why the fuck not? Because according to the shirts "Pink is the new black"
I mean really, do I have to rape Mr. Crayola?! Yes
Why is Southwest Plaza still even open? My only reason for going was suncoast and maybe pac sun, on occasion. I honestly dont know why they havent closed. The only store now worth going to is EB games. I bet by the end of the year the mall will be closed.
Who wants to share my juicy fruit? Tracy
I really enjoy it when a beautiful waitress brings me food. Why don't more hot women come to my house and bring me food? Alex isn't a hot woman. He's a mexican. Why, I say?! He may be mexican, but he can be damn sexy if you put that blond wig on him. But I dont think many companies hire hot women to deliver food for the fear of them being harrassed/raped
Como se dice 'I killed a jerusalem immigrant' en espanol? ....what?
I lost a lot of blood in mexico, do you think it misses me, too? no
Who told you that you coulc treat me like a piece of meat?! Foster
I disagree with the T-shirts. Pink is not the new black. That's the new gay. Funny because I thought it was the old gay too. What do you think the new black is, if it's not seabreeze green? Light blue
Our teacher was really just silent in the middle of his discussion for around 10 minutes. Question is, who wears short shorts? Box and Nick when we arent at the apartment
What would I have to do if I were to decide to become a demon? Sign your soul over to Satin
Who is the most dumbest, most loathsome, worthless person on MySpace? Cordova
Should I grow my hair out, dye it black, then back to blond, then back to black, and take an emo picture of myself and sing a song and make millions off of my loneliness and claim that I didnt sell out when my intention the whole time was to, in fact, sell out? Yes
the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, why do bunnies always run underneath my tire? They are attracted to the sexiness of your car.
How many people have been killed as a result of my actions in highschool? 6
Should we start a "neighborhood watch" program and not "watch"? Nah, Im too lazy
Why did the chicken cross the road? didn't he learn anything from the bunnies? To get to the other side, and no he didnt
Why, after actually working for most of class does the teacher look over the second I'm not? That's not cool at all. Thats bad timing my friend. You shouldnt be on myspace all the time in that class ;)
So, following your advice on becoming a demon I made a deal with the devil. The deal was as follows: I said I wanna become a demon, but not one of those ugly demons, I want to be really cool and be able to hide my demon-ness. Can you make that so? "yes, Kyle" Shake hands. Wat does he want from me? He wants some of that hot sauce that you bought from that Mexicali place.
Are you using AskJayvee to refer anyone to my beloved website (http://www.stuckinyourname.com)? No
Do your many fans know that we'll soon have a video webcast on my website (http://ww.stuckinyourname.com)? Im sure they do now
If I were to sneak up on you, with a sword, and try to slice the shit out of you, what kind of skills of a ninja would you have against my attack? I would first grab your arm and snap it in three places. Then, I would flip into the air and kick you right in the face. When you would get up I would flip you back on your face slice you with my katana. As you lay dying, I would snap your neck, preventing you from living anymore.
I had a dream last night that pod people came to earth, but we didn't know right away, and I had sex with one of them, which got me pregnent. I woke up too soon to know what would happen to me. Can you finish the story for me? You give birth to a baby boy pod person who eventually destroys the earth by eating it.
Whys do girls squeek? Are they leaking air or something? yes
If I bought a house in Castle Rock, would you still come visit me/us? Yes I would come as much as I could. Which probably means like a couple times a week, like now
What is your favorte time of GAY? Right at the time of penitration
If your girlfriend had a penis would you feel pissed and rather jipped? Only if it didnt measure up ;)
why is desing meaningless things so awesome? It is fun and the results are always humerous
If I were a character from the simpsons, who would I be? Chef Wiggam, you fat bastard
Should I steal a car? yes a dark green nissan SUV
Will you help me find a house to le buy? yes
If zordon is a talking head, how does he wear a suit? I've seen the fucking suit, so you can't tell me he doesn't! Hes in a different dimension from everyone. I guess their projectors only work with his head. Could be worse, what if it only broadcast his other HEAD...?
If I start eating asparagus right now, and don't stop for like three days, what will my piss smell like? poop Are we gonna dress in toga and sing folk songs while I play the ukelele and play jinga on the trampoline with a polar bear? Yes we are when we go to Canada and raid a hockey game
Is jesus my home boy? no
Why are jalapeno jelly bellies so damn good? Because they are made of jalapeno! Anything made of jalapeno is bond it be tasty
If you had an elephant would he/she paint? Yes It would be better then Thomas Kinkade and Bob Ross if they crossed fused like in Dragonball Z
Can you do calligraphy while brushing your teeth and playing with your dalmation? How about my dragon? No and yes.
Is Nick a robot fucker? No Ive only seen him fuck blow up dolls
Why does the word "fuck" come out capitalized in Nick's predictive text? He is EXCLAIMING IT! AAGGGGGG
What is the ambrosia of the gods? your mom
Who juggles? Honestly, who does that? I wanna learn I have no idea... if you do, leave a message and teach Kyle!
Who the fuck is Kylee Watkins and why the fuck doesn't she pay her bills? She is a cuntbag whos poor and deserves to be on the streets.
Is she hot? Yes
Would Ahi hump her? What wouldn't Ahi hump? ;)
If you had a choice of any one thing to be allergic to, what would it be? vegetables
Who is the hottest person on myspace, and why am I not doing her? Thats a tough one. I personally think Brenden and Sunnie are hot. As for you doing them, you need to go to Florida, you silly goose.
How was the party? It was fun while I was there. I heard everyone got trashed and Kayla puked a few times. Thank god for early shifts
Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the... whore... Jumped over the moon? How is this a question?
Why is 42 an important number? Because thats how many times you are going to have a doctors finger up your ass
Who decided that "Kyle" means straight current stream? Stream Currentington
Even though Bambi is a feminine name, why, oh why, did they name the male deer bambi? Not cool dude. Bambis a guy? O.o
How come our web design teacher is so odd? Is he pregnant? Why/Why not? Yes he is pregnant. I mean, a man isnt that organized when it comes to packing camping shit. And normal men dont wear purple...
Who invented catnip? I dont think a single person did. But heres the info i found:
Though Catnip (Nepeta cataria) had long been known for the kinds of responses it elicited from cats, until about 50 years ago, there were only a couple of published reports on the plant. Since that time, there have been a large number of studies including one which found that of a sample of 84 cats, one third did not respond to catnip. Another found that the response typically lasted not longer than fifteen minutes and that a cat had to be at least 8 weeks old before it found the plant interesting. A compound called nepetalactone was isolated from catnip in the early 1940's. It was tested on several African lions, who responded to pieces of cloth soaked in the chemical in a fashion similar to the way they responded to the whole plant.
What's the most difficult aerial maneuver you can perform? Dropkick
Why is Bob Sagett so awesome? Ill pretend I didnt read this question
Why is Nick so exuberant? Nick is a jolly boy, what can I say? He probably gets it from his mom
Who is the muffin man? Muff Manwell
Why did Tyler Durden steal my cowboy hat in elementary school and then blame it on me? Because he is a little bitch who should sufficate himself on the though of stealing Kyles cowboy hat.
Do all of my alter egos have the same self image? If so, then what's so different about them? No they dont
How can I make some quick cash? prositution
What's your favorite cereal? Honey Bunches of Oats
Why doesn't Foster just kiss his girlfriend already? Because hes a pussy! DO IT FOSTER! YOU CAN DO IT!
Why did the original ninja turtles get cancelled if EVERYONE fucking likes them still? Who the hell was the deciding factor in that vote? Have you seen the later episodes of the Turtles? I have some of them on DVD. They got craptactular. The Turtles tranform into monsters for some reason. The charm just goes away in those episodes. plus the changed the theme song to something realllllllllllly annoying. The last season probably got low rating, thus cancelling it.
Why aren't dish sponges actually made of sponge? or at least a material that resembles the coral spong? Because that's just gay, and stupid. Mostly gay. They dont make it with actual sponge because the actual sponge will stick to your arm and suck out your bladder. Yes, from your arm.
Why do siberian huskies have such a high, penetrating bark, compared to a lot of other species of dog? Dunno, Ive never noticed.
Will Kyle get a puppy for christmas? I hope so! That should be sweet
Who ate the last of the fruit loops? Tyler
how cold does it have to be in order for rubber to freeze enough to lose it's elasticity?A rubber band will actually become softer, or easier to stretch, when the temperature gets colder. The way to think of the elasticity is in terms of entropy, which is basically a measure of disorder. The universe is always moving towards a state of greater disorder.
When a rubber band is stretched out, there aren't as many ways the individual molecules can arrange themselves as there are when the rubber band is not stretched. They have to be sort of lined up, instead of in a jumble. There are a lot more ways to throw the molecules into a jumble than there are to line them up.
When there are more ways to arrange the molecules, the entropy is higher. So when you stretch a rubber band, entropy dictates that the rubber band will want to contract again. Where does temperature come in? When the temperature is higher, the molecules are more excited, and want even more to be in a random jumbled state. Think of a class of kindergardners on a sugar high--they'll want to run all over the place, not line up in a straight row. This makes the rubber band harder to stretch out, because it is harder to line up the molecules inside. Hence, it is stiffer at higher temperatures.
Things other than rubber bands can be described by the same entropic theories. They are even being used now in biology, to describe the behavior of DNA when stretched, for example.
To answer your question, -40 degrees would be my guess
how, oh how, do YOU dance the can can? Its not hard. ive just read some books about it. Ive been working on my technique for some time now. Heres a picture of me in action:
Also!!!! How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck just got herpes? just 10 pieces of wood. Then it would start bleeding from the eyes. After that, his lungs would start expanding then explode and then he would die
Who the fuck invented the aerosol can? the named it wrong, it should be named Can-O-Flame-Juice. Well, it isnt soppsed to be used as a flamethrower, Kyle. The purpose of the aerosol can is to make the air smell nice, not catch Tyler on fire.
If you could piss on anything in the world what would you piss on? I would piss down the Grand Canyon and see how long it takes for my pee to hit the bottom.
What is your favorite kind of tree? Oak
Ok, so have you ever been just chillin and decided that the time was right to fuck a nigga up? No I havent. At least not a nigga
Have you ever been the victim of identitty theft, yes, I did say iden-titty. Sadly yes. Damn 40 year old fat moms
What should my domain name be? lookatmeimkyle.com
Why didn't you leave nick a comment? I did
When we go to mexico are you gonna drink or are you gonna be the DPT (designated policia talker)? Both
Have you ever tried guacamole jelly bellies? No I havent. Dont want to either
Nick
WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT EMO KIDS ANYWAYS? Noone
WHY IS SMOKING COOL? It isnt. It is the most disguesting invention ever... and jayvee means.... EVER!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH ALEX AND NOT HANGING OUT WITH ME? Hes probably spending it with Mary
DOES NO ONE LIKE ME ANYMORE, I RARELY GET CALLED? I dunno, I ask myself that everyday
HOW DO I GET A PEEP OFF OF A PLATE AFTER BAKING IT IN THE MICROWAVE? Very carefully
WHO WANTS TO GET A LOT OF POP, DRINK IT ALL AND STAY UP ALL NIGHT ON A SUGAR HIGH? me... anyone else?
IF YOU WERE RICH WOULD YOU BUY A GIANT STUFFED KANGAROO AND SLEEP IN THE POUCH? Yes. His name would be Jumpy. I wont explain what I would do in the puch though ;)
CAN A GIANT WALK ON HIS HANDS AND IF HE CAN WOULD HE? Yes and no. Imagine like 500 pounds on your hands man. That would hurt any man.
IF YOU WERE A CYCLOPS WOULD YOU MAKE GLASSES LIKE HOMER AND SLEEP DURING JURY DUTY? Yes. Too bad I didnt do jury duty when I got called a year ago.
WHY IS PAULY SHORE SO DAMN ANNOYING? He has an annoying voice and his presence wants you to harm puppies.
WHY DOES KYLE GET THE MASTER BEDROOM? Hes the richest one of the apartment kids.
WHY CAN'T BOX KEEP IT UP? Lack of playing with his man meat.
WHO DOES A MAN KNOW HE'S A MAN? When he learns proper english
WHERE IS LA BAMBA? In my pants (Giggidy giggidy)
DOES JEFF FANTASIZE ABOUT KNIFES AND GUNS? Yes. He dreams about whathes going to do with them every night while he dreams.
CAN KYLE ACTUALLY TURN MUD INTO DIRT? NO He havent mastered the proper way of doing it yet
WHY DIDN'T JESUS JUST TURN THE ROMAN'S WATER INTO WINE AND MAKE THEM TOO DRUNK TO FIND HIM? Probably because that was the last thing on his mind at the time
HOW DOES SOMEONE GO ABOUT BECOMING A HUSTLER? Start wearing sexy clothes and be horny 24/7
CAN ME AND BOX BE AS COOL AS CARLITO BAGANTE? Yes if you strive for it
IF I WERE TO START SELLING HEROIN, WOULD ANYONE TELL ON ME? No
1. WHY DO YOU DRIVE ON A PARKWAY AND PARK ON A DRIVEWAY? Its quite simple. Whoever thought of those names were on shrooms. When they were coming up with those names, they thought it was funny to switch the words around to confuse Nick Swenson. Well Nick heres what you do: build a time machine. Go back in time and kill the fuckers and invent the words yourself so noone can be confused on the matter again.
2. WHY ARE THE THINGS ON YOUR ASS CALLED HEMAROIDS, BUT THE THING IN THE HEMISPHERES CALLED ASTEROIDS? Im gonna look at this question from a different perpective... look at it like this... WHAT IF asteroids came out your ass? Everytime you went to take a shit you would have giant space rocks blocking your passage. And what if hemaroids came from the hemisphere? I doubt researchers would want to do research on some giant ass pimple things that would fall from the sky. Imagine playing in the yard when all of a sudden... BOOOM! You get covered by a ass pimple-thing. That would SUCK.
3. WHY IS EVERYONE ELSE SUCH AN ASS, THEY WON'T EVEN RESPOND TO YOUR BULLETINS? Because they are lazy. C'mon people, send me more questions!
HOW DO YOU GET FRENCH FRIES AT AN ITALIAN PLACE BUT IF YOU GO TO A FRENCH RESTAURANT, YOU CAN'T GET THEM?The answer is quite simple... the French think that Americans are fuckin fat slobs, and refuse to clog our veins with the fattiness of French Fries. Well I say the next time you go to the French resturant, go to the waiter and bitch slap him for refusing to serve those wonderful fries of joy and saltiness.
WHAT DOES "GO HANG A SALAMI IM A LASAGNA HOG" SPELL BACKWARD?goh angasal a mi imalas a gnah go... whats so special about that?
(ps please sense the sarcasim in this answer)
IF I KICKED KYLE STRAIGHT IN THE ASS, WOULD PEZ POP OUT HIS MOUTH?Yes. The grape kind to be specific. This face looks like Kyle mountain when that happens (the GIF is coming Kyle, I promse...)
WHO IS THE REAL WASABI MASTER? Kenzo Wasabi
why don't i get to give birth? Becuase you have a cock.
where the fuck is my classic mustang? In Florida, I would imagine.
can i have a totodog? Yes
and did they make them on a stick? cause that would be fucking cool. no
WHY DOES THIS DOUCHE BAG GUY HAVE TO WRITE COMMENTS ON MY WORK TELLING ME NOT TO ADD ADDRESS' WHEN I CLEARLY DIDN'T? MAYEB IT IS HIS STUPID FAT FINGERS THAT ENTERED THE FUCKING THING, WHY IS HE A COCKERNAUT? He is a cockernaut because he is from the planet Wangsilla. Anyone who is from there are douchfaces and deserve to be fired out of a canon and land in a ridge of pointy rocks.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY PINK FUCKING MONKEY? It got out of its mailing box and fucked with a blue one. Now there will be ugle pinkish-blue monkies running around.
HAVE I LOST MY MIND OR IS EVERYONE ELSE ON ANOTHER PALYING FIELD? No, you are just out of your mind. I havent ever heard of this... palying field? Do you paly things there?
WHY CAN'T I KILL ALL THE PEOPLE THAT I BELIEVE ARE TOO STUPID TO CONTINUE USING OUR OXYGEN? I think we've all had this thought at one point or another. But you cant because are are LAWS about killing things, Nick. If you want to go to jail, then kill as many things as you wish, you silly goose.
WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO DAMN SEXY WHEN I WEAR THONGS? I dunno... maybe its because your ass is so damn sexy when its pure white...?
WHY DOES JUSTIN NOT JOIN ME IN A STRIP DANCE FOR ALEX? I will next time hes over
why have i been getting shocked by everything i touch? even my bed shocks me when i get up sit down or just lay there. Because you masturbate too much. Because of your excessive beating off, electricity builds up in your body. Then you get shocked. So lay off the masturbating if you dont want to be shocked.
why has my light switch been shooting electrical current through my hand, cause it feels like a lot of voltz? because Braeden touched it
why am i going to get rid of my jeep when i enjoy the benefits of 4 wheel drive? The Jeep is a cool car, but Mustangs are much cooler. Sure they suck in snow, but think of all the girls you are going to get!
since when did blue raspberry become an original flavor of jolly rancher? Based on research... a few years ago
why does this piss me off so? You dont like blue raspberry..?
if i had two dollars and you took one, how much money would that be? one dollar. Then you would hit me in the nuts. Then it would be two
if two trains were on the same track and alex was smoking pot in his car at the train intersection, train a is going 40mph and train b is going 65mph, which will hit alex first? None, a rocket ship will crash land on his car first.
why does skid row kick so much ass? Dont know who that is, but Ill get a quote from a website:
Skid Row was one of the last hair metal bands to hit the mainstream before grunge took over in the early '90s. They were also arguably the last of such bands to have any originality.
how may i go about tickling your pickle? You can start at the base, and slowly move your fingers toward the tip.
why did god bless me with red hair it is a desease on the world. God gave you red hair because you are a irish bastard.
how many roads must a man walk down, before he finds himself a good looknig hooker? 54
when two cows fall in love and one gets sent to be slaughtered, should the other cow follow? i mean thats what true love is isn't it? yes
why does justin get to be so fucking cool and have his own ask jayvee segment of myspace every week? Because Im the whole fuckin show! That, and I am not afraid to answer any questions.
if you were siuck and this sickness caused you to not be able to type, would you allow nick to stand in for the ask jayvee guest host nick? Yes
HOW DO YOU GET A DOG TO FIT INSIDE OF A MARSHMALLOW? Keep snapping it in half until it fits. Why do you want to know the answer?
CAN JESUS REALLY WALK ON WATER? IF SO DOES IT TURN TO WINE AS HE PASSES? Yes
WOULD YOU GET PISSED IF YOU WERE REALLY THIRSTY AND JESUS TURNED YOUR FRESH CRISP DASANI TO WINE? Probably. Not even Jesus will make me sip Alcohol before June 16th
WHO THE FUCK IS DON JOHNSON ANYWAYS? your mom
CAN MIDGETS JUMP? Yes
DOES ANYONE FUCKING CARE WHAT I ASK ON HERE? Yes
IS KAYLA PAYING ATTENTION? No
AM I DONE? No
CAN I BRING SIX FRIENDS TO THE SNOW WHITE GANG BANG? Yes... as long as I am included...
IF ONE OF MY FRIENDS SNEEZES A LOT, DOES SHE HAVE THE HIV? Yes
HOW CAN THE YANKEES TUG ON MY NUB? With a giant rope
DO YOU LIKE WHEN GIRLS TAKE YOU OUT FOR A NICE BRISQUIT THEN THEY SAY THEY ARE USING THE RESTROOM, AND JUST LEAVE? No, it fuckin sucks
WHERE IS THE REAL CANCUN? Cancun is located on the northeast shoulder of the Yucatan Peninsula in the state of Quintana Roo
WHO WANTS A MUSTACHE RIDE? Rob
WHY DO I DRINK SO MUCH SOBE LEAN ENERGY? Its good for you and it is very tasty
WHEN WILL L.A. FALL OFF THE US AND DROWN? CAUSE I WANT TO BE THERE TO WATCH FROM THE EDGE. 2096
HOW DO YOU GET THIRTEEN MONKEYS INTO A CAGE FIT FOR FOUR? Lots and lots of cramming and broken bones
WHEN EVERYONE STOPPED HANGING OUT, WAS IT BECAUSE I SOLD THE MUSTANG? Nah I think everyones busy these days. Summer cant come sooner
IF SO SHOULD I BUY A MUSTANG AND BRING ALL THE FRIENDS TOGETHER AGAIN? Yes
HO IS IT I CAN GO TO WORK WORK OUT, AND STILL HAVE TIME TO SAVE A SCHOOL BUS FULL OF CHILDREN? It is your Nick-o-genes. It does a Swenson good!
AND ON THE SAME DAY, HOW DID KIMMICK RUN HIS FASTEST TIME EVER AND STOP A BANK ROBBERY? He used tons of Speed.
AND DO YOU THINK IT IS RIGHT THAT WE GOT THE KEY TO THE CITY FOR DOING SO? Yes, you guys deserve it
HOW COME KELLY'S APARTMENT IS CALLED THE CRACK SHACK? It is located by crack dealers, I would assume.
CAN JAYVEE FLY? Yes i can
IF SO, WHICH YOU BETTER SAY YES ABOVE, DO YOU FLY OVER POOLS AND WAIT FOR WOMEN SUN BATHING NUDE? YesÃÃ�Ã�Ã�ÃÃ�Ã�Ã�Ã�Ã�Ã�Ã� I do that even if Im not flying!
HOW DO I GET RID OF THOSE STUPID LOOKING THONG TAN LINES? Sun bathe nude
WHY DOES SNOW MAKE IT HARDER TO WAKE UP ON SUNDAYS The snow makes the ground bright, which makes it hard for your eyes to adjust when you wake up.
Joewhen are we gonna get super drunk? After June 16th
where do you go to school? Arapahoe Community College M-T
what do you drive? Ford Taurus... its my parents
When are they gonna come out with a virtual reality video game....somewhat like the materix...if you know what im sayin Hopefully sooner then later but 2017
why does HDTV have to replace all the old tvs in 5 years I cany afford HDTV... Be like Tyler... just use your old TV. Who cares if you can see the wrinkles on the new reporter? I personally think HD is dumb, which is probably why I hate the Xbox 360 so much
Why is Comcast a rip off? Its not really a rip off...
have you ever cried over a girl recently? If no when was the last time, if ever. I think the only time Ive cried over a girl was the first girl I ever asked out in 6th grade.
Does Santa Exisit? Yes
What was christmas like in maryland in 1820? Lots of boose and sex
will there even be a christmas in 2020 o will it just be a "happy holiday" As long as I am breathing I wont let that happen
When will all the ice caps melt causing a scene from the blockbuster movie "Waterworld" 2908
What are your goals and dreams? To be a comic book artist or a graphics designer
How come I dont have any money? I took it out of your wallet the one minute we were at Table Steaks. I'll give back the dollar later
Why are Plasma TV's so expensive? The Plasma TVs are expensive to get parts for and make, I would imagine...
Why does the Xbox 360 suck? Microsoft thinks graphics make the game, not the gameplay. Sure graphics are cool, but if the game has crappy controls and gameplay, then whats the point of spending all kinds of money?
Why do they call the computer mouse a mouse? My guess is that it is grey, and the cord coming out of it looks like a tail. The inventor probably had a child that said "Hehehe that looks like a mouse!!1!!11" and he stuck with it. Damn kids!
What does a dieing Garafi sound like? AAAAGGHHHHGGGGGAHAHAHAHAHA
When will the world end? September 24, 6198. Bank on it.
When will world war 3 break out? Probably within 10-20 years the way things are going right now.
How come you never come chill are you too cool? No I dont think Im too cool. The fact of the matter is Cassie doesnt answer her phone, return my calls, or return my messages on myspace anymore. So if you have something coming up, let me know and Ill try and hang out with you.
How many girls have you slept with? Well, as everyone knows, I dont get much action. So the answer to this is none. Im always have my options open, so if any girl wants to change that, let me know ;)
How come Verizon Wireless has so many dropped calls? Ive heard Verizon is a good company. You must have a cheap phone or somethin
Whats the cheapest high-speed interent acesss in Denver? Couldnt tell ya but I think this page should help you out: http://www.shoprus.com/dsl.html
Is there another cable company here besides Quest and Comcast?Echostar.. or does that count?
whatever happen to Crystal Pepsi that shit was good. They discontinued it like 15 years ago. If I remember, it left a bad aftertaste.
whatever happen to "new coke". Noone liked it so they got rid of itKayla1. why is the sky blue? This ones easy... its eye pleasing. Imagine this... what if the sky was hot pink? Or neon green? I would want to gauge my eyes out with a rusty spoon if they were those colors. Just be glad the sky is a nice calm blue instead of diaherra orange.
2. why do fools fall in love? Everyone falls in love... fools included. Its how the world works. Falling in love isnt a bad thing though. Or is being a fool. One day the fools will find the love and live happily ever after.
3. why is macaroni and cheese so good? Macaroni and Cheese is good because it cheap and full of fat. My personal favorate is Macaroni and cheese with Taco seasoned meat... mmm
4. why can't we always have all the answers? Not sure, but you can definately try and get them out of me ;)
WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED THAT YOU HAD BLUE HAIR? I dont. That picture was taken 2 years ago during my sisters birthday. You can tell because im not tan, I have buzzed hair, and I look bigger.
why does my cat like abuse? Im not sure, but I do know is I dont want to know what fetishes your cat has when it is having sex...
why did blink 182 break up? Im glad you asked this question. This is one of the most popluar questions people ask me. They did NOT break up. They are on "indefinate hiatus" They are just taking a break from Blink and doing other records. Angels and Airwaves and Plus 44 are the side projects coming out from Mark, Tom and Travis. AAW is coming out next month, plus Plus 44 is coming out sometime next year. To prove my point, here is some quotes from Travis Barker:
"I think it's healthy to take a break. We did the same thing four years ago. Blink took a break, and Boxcar [Racer] happened and that's the same way with this," Barker told KROQ's Kevin and Bean. "We're taking a break and letting everyone be creative on their time off, and have fun and come back when it's time and when it's ready and right. I believe there's great things in the future.
"I love those dudes; they're my brothers. I wanted to clear up the rumors of us fighting with each other or hating each other. It's just not true," Barker said. "Right now, everyone's life is calling for something else. We want to enjoy ourselves and regroup and write a record when it's the right time."
"When it's time and we get our fix from our kids and we get enough quality time with our loved ones, then things will be right again and maybe we'll have a rad new Blink record."
http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1497401/20050223/blink_182.jhtml?headlines=true
So there you go. We just have to play the waiting game...
why did you spell submit wrong? I mispelled it. Sue me.
why would you ever want to quit your job when you know you can go there and see me? Because Sams Club sucks my ass. I wish people would start treating me better there.
why don't we go to jamba juice some time soon, eh? Sure.
why am i always cold? Because it is cold outside. Wear long sleeves and you should be good
why does my cat hog my bed? It thinks it is the king of the world. I think you should toss the thing off the side and see how long it hisses. If its more then 10 seconds, then beat it with a shoe.
how come three of my socks are missing? They went through your laundry and ended up in a secret pipe that comes out in a area next to the Platte River.
and most importantly.........
when can we play video games again?!! When you call me and come over
MaryWhat is the difference between a donkey and a mule? Im gonna attempt to be smart on this one. My guess (without looking at anything) is that donkeys are male and mules are female.
Are zebras 'tameable'? Yes. All it takes is about a half hour with Lightning glide ;)
Do you believe in an afterlife? Yes.
Would you live on a deserted island for 6 months with all the food, water, and shelter you need but no people or communication? Why or why not? Depends if I were to get like a millions dollars or whatnot. If not, fuck no! I love my friends!
Why do we have fingernails? Well, lets put it like this... if we didnt have fingernails, how would be scratch ourselves? If it was just bare flesh, it wouldnt do anything, and you would have to get a stick. A STICK! Im too lazy for that shit, so Im glad we have fingernails. Based on the fact that I dont want to scratch my cock with a stick. Or a fork.
What would the world be like now if women had been the dominate sex throughout history? It would be alot more sexy. And probably alot more organized then now. There probably wouldnt be any wars, and the world would be alot safer.
If you could be a caveman for a day, would you? Why or why not? Oh hell yea. I want to go around with one of those bear skin crotch things with a giant club. That would be off da hook!
How do they make hamburger buns? Do they come whole, the top and bottom or do they make them separately? They make hamburger buns because they need a place to put the hamburger (duh!) My guess is that during the process of making the buns, they start off as a whole piece of bread, then get cut in the middle by a machine. Then, they have a machine that puts the two back together for the packaging, then it gets put in a plastic wrap and sent to stores everywhere.
What is your favorite food? Pizza. With lots of meat. Mmmm (sorry Lindsay!)
It's kinda silly but, what does "void where prohibited" mean? Good question. Lets see what I could find on google:
It's basically a way of companies covering their butts and putting the onus on the person entering the contest to find out if the contest is valid in their jurisdiction. So it's always best to know the laws in your region.
What is plastic made out of? How do they make plastic?Im interested in finding this out too. Time for some research: Plastics are relatively
stiff materials made of polymers (long molecules made of smaller molecular
units joined together) and other ingredients such as fillers, pigments
(for color), plasticizers, flow improvers, and stabilizers.
The polymers are made by finding small molecules which will chemically
bond together at at least two places in each small molecule (these
are called "active sites"). There are two basic mechanisms for forming
chains out of the smaller molecules, but I won't get into that (unless
you ask me to).
Anyway, let's say you have some plastic and you now want to shape it
into a bottle or something. There are a number of processes, and you
use whichever process leads to the kind of shape, thickness, and utility
you need for your job. One way to go is "thermomolding," in which you
form plastic sheets into parts by the application of heat and pressure.
On the other hand, to make a bottle you might use a process called
"blow-molding," in which you form a tube from your plastic material
and use hot gas to force the tube to expand into a mold, forming a hollow
object with a definite size and shape. There are many other possible
processes.
So there you go Mary. And here I thought they melted babies in a hard stiff subtance that they used for plastic.
If I were parapliegic and had to be in a computerized wheelchair, would you still be my friend? Of course
If you were a superhero would you use your powers to save people and stop crime or to spy on them and do naughty things? Both
Why are people mean? They are mean so they make themselves seem like bigger and better people. Well they arent, so just ignore them.
Wh at position do you sleep in? On my back
What's your favorite type of cereal? Honey Bunches of Oats
If you owned a cow, what would you name it? Belle
Do you believe in love? Yes
How is the world going to end? The moon will hit the earth, causing it to go out of orbit, and we will slowly drift toward the sun and eventually get sucked into it
Would you shave off your eyebrows for money? Depends on how much
How tall are you...in centimeters? 177.8 cm
Why do we die? Because dying is a part of life
How did life begin? Big Bang
Do I ask too many questions? No
Tommy
How do people like Lil' Bow wow and whoever the .... else, make so much money? They learn how to rhyme/ talk fast
Where in the World is Carmen Sandeigo? Chile
Why is Nick, being the whore that he is, getting laid so much more than I? It just does not seem right with the world. I guess size doesnt matter after all
Where is Kyle's Condo in Mexico (The United State's Pants)? Kyle Island
Where can I find a Rally's Restraunt around here? I looked around, and I cant seem to find one thats close
Why would a girl continue to attempt to court you, even after you told her there was no chance and you would just end up using her? She still has feelings for you. Some people cant accept rejection so they will keep trying and trying. Trust me, i have done this myself.
What is the single best all time song for courting? Cant really answer this well since I have been single all my life but for a like a week, but Feelin this by Blink 182
WHat is your best ppick-up line? None of mine work but my favorate is the one I posted on that bulletin: "Is that a mirror in your pocket, because I see myself in your pants"
Are you coming to my SAD (Singles Awarness Day) Shindig on Feb. 14? I thought it was on Friday, but yes
Why does Valentines day such a craptastic holiday? It makes us single folk bitter towards the people who have girlfriends/boyfriends. It makes us feel alone and sad. Then the feelings turn to hate then we want to kill them
Why? Why? Why?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? To make the remote work so we dont have to get up off of out lazy asses and get new batteries.
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? They want more money once you get the funds to pay it off.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? They check to make sure you arent lying. They would probably do the same if they could physically count every single star in their lifetime.
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? It doesnt want to. Dont force it man
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Because using unsterilized needles are JUST PLAIN WRONG
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Jane likes her monkey-men cleanly shaven.
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but duck when you throw a revolver at him? He doesnt want his face to get bruised by a frickin gun that hit him in the face.
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? To look cool before they get blown to bits
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? A man named Spil
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? They are further back on the evolution train. Give them like 1000 years and most monkeys will probably evolve into a human like animal
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? What IF the bubbles were that color? The company would have to use a hell of a lot of dye to make them change colors. I doubt parents want their kids to come out of the tub looking like Oompa Loompas or Smurfs.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? March 27, 2025 will be the day when mattresses will NOT be on sale. Bank on it
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Because they are dumb.
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Well, the vacuum should do its damn job! A string should NOT get away because its too stubborn to be sucked
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try? Bad luck...?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? They somehow squeeze through because they are attracted by the light. Then, they are stupid and cant figure out how to escape, thus leading to their demise
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? Hmm, it doesnt really happen to me. Maybe you shouldnt be so clumsy?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? The cold is alot worse then it being hot. I think generally people like it to be like 60 degrees
Why do you never hear father-in-law jokes? Its easier to make fun of your mom (in law) then your dad (in law)
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but
when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Yeah, Ive learn from this mistake. My dog bit my nose the first time i blew in her face. God damn that hurt.
Boum why do dogs eat their own shit? Dog shit is full of protein and iron
why do old people smell? Their skin cells get old and emit a terrifying smell when they reach about 67
is satan real? Yes
what would you do with a third nipple that lactated? Rub it all night long
Why wont anyone book The Bloodshed Ensemble? They are dumb. They dont realize you guys will one day be HUGE and then you will buy out the places that didnt book you and fire everyone.
why are girls stupid? Because they like assholes instead of nice guys
AdamWhy can't Patriots fans accept the fact that their "dynasty" got shot down in flames? Because they are shocked that Broncos kicked their ass. They thought they would win the Super Bowl again. Well guess what? THEY SUCKED SUNDAY.
What is the best video game ever made? My personal favorate is Chrono Trigger, but any Zelda is fun too
What is the best gaming system ever made? Super Nintendo
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I liked Kyles version of this question better, but 7
ChristinaWhy don't some people use their blinkers??? People get lazier and lazier with each passing day. I fuckin hate it when people dont use their signals! GGRRRRRRRRR (Im looking at you Zack)
How do you deal when best friends don't seem to want to talk to you anymore? Do what you can,and if they dont respond, then just ignore them. If they were truely your friend, then they would definately want to talk to you.
Why is CSI so addictive? It has good storylines.
My Mom always said that I'm on her last nerve, what happened to it? Its still there. Its just a figure of speech.
Also, when does that last nerve explode? When you finally snap and kill everyone
Kelly
Why is Angelina Jolie number 1 in last years FHM 100 hottest women? She looks too masculine. I dunno. Shes hot, but not number one IMO. I love Katie Holmes and Jessica Alba more
Why is there still glass on the floor where my coffee table got broken? Will you come clean it? Your coffee table was broken? And Yes I will... if the price is right
Why do Rockets ears go to the side of his head when I talk to him? He is a Confused little animal
Why do I crave food so much more than other people? And wierd random cravings. And Qdoba. Well I think all of this get this from time to time. Like me today. I had the BIGGEST craving for fuckin Spicyaki from Tokyo Joes. MMmmmmm
Why did you say on the survey we've never kissed? I kissed you on the cheek when you had your mistle toe hat on. Are you ashamed of our relationship? I thought the survey meant kiss on the lips. And no I am not ashamed.
Why am I still living here in Colorado when the weather is so shitty? Sometimes the weather is nice here. We live next to the Rocky Mountains too, which are beautiful.
Should I just move back to Texas where the weather is never shitty? Except that one time when it snowed an inch and school was closed, that was pretty cool, excpet I was only four so I wasn't in school anyways. No you should stay here so we can still hang out
And..... will you drive me to school cause my tires suck and I am probably gonna die? I would of but its probably too late
First question: Why are you so excited about me kicking your ass at Mario Party? You arent going to beat me. I just want to see your face when i PWN you
Second question: Why is there a stupid TV show about online dating? Does anyone actually watch it? I didnt even know one existed. It exists because someone though it would be good, but it just just flop like most reality shows
I am sick, yet again. Will you come bring me soup? And why am I sick so damn often? I will IF you are still sick this week
Tell me Jayvee, where should I go and live, cause I hate my place right now and no noe else gives me good answers. You got an apartment already
And, why does Box expect me to clean up all the damn beer cans and shit when I wasn't even in town for the party? He is a lazy bitch who cant clean after himself
how do you tell the sex of a chromosome? how long the tail is
Where the hell were Troys clothes last night and why were they not on him? My guess is that he Sleep-striped. In his dream, he dreamed that he was a sexy lady who removes their clothing for money. Then, when he woke up, he was dissapointed when he didnt really make 400 dollars.
The Scarecrow got a brain, Tin Man got a heart, Lion got courage, Dorothy got home, what did Toto get? Cooked into hotdogs
If I was hanging out in Hell, and I got in a fight, where would I tell the person to go? Earth. Or to my quark class.
My question- Why is it so hard to think of a question- when it can be ANY question- when
someone asks you too? Ummm... why cant i think of an answer when someone asks me this question...?
Derekwhy does santa say "ho ho ho"? Well this is what I think. I think every single night between November and December, Santa is a pimp. Think about it. He has the elves working on toys for billions of little kids, so somehow he has to pay them. And that way, my friends, is through pimping. If he does that shit like every night he is probably a very rich mother fucker. So on Christmas night when he says "Ho ho ho!" he is thanking all the whore that helped him pay the elves so little kids can have toys Christmas morning.
LindsayWhat if your blue is my green...and your green is my hot pink...what if everyone sees colors differently but we call it the same thing... You know, Ive never thought of that. That would be REALLY fucked up if it was true. But, as Nick said, if that happens, you are probably color blind
Alex
WHY IS LIFE SO BORING You think life is boring? Well it really isnt. Its up to you to prove entertainment for yourself. I have a few suggestions. You could play video games. Or draw. Or go walk. Or go streaking. Or key a cops car. Or explode fireworks in cat's asses. Or explore drains. Theres many things you can do Akex, so get up and do something!
if i died would you cry Yes. A world without Alex is a world I dont want to see. But I would cry when i found out and at your funeral. Im man enough to show some emotion, dammit!
why do i eat so much chipotle They make some pretty good burritos and from experience, they are pretty cheap
does chipotle put something in there burrito to make me come back again and again They have a secret herb they throw in. If you catch my drift
MikeyWhat the hell was the deal with the Treaty of Paris? The fuck if I know! I didnt pay attension to history in school.
Why does everyone think Jimi Hendrix is so great? They idolize Jimi Hendrix because he was a huge pothead. Potheads listen to his music and think its the greatest thing ever. Well, you dont need to be high to appriciate his music. I like a few Hendrix songs.
What's another word for pinecone? cone-o-pine
Braedenwhat is the best way to make money inmexico? The best way to make money is illegal sale of cotton. We will raise our own sheep and create our own black market of cotton sales. Mahahaha
which is the better football team the minnesota vikings or the greenbay packers. Personally I like the Vikings alot more then the Packers. I have some hatred for the state of Wisconsin, so Im going with Vikings all the way. Why do I hate Wisconsin? Well my god for nothing grandpa lives there. Hes a fuckin asshole. I would tell you what he did, but I have too much respect for my mother not to post it on the internet.
BrendenWe all know the moon isn't made of green cheese, but if it were made of BBQ spare ribs, would ya eat it? Fuck ya! Im fat, or course Ill hit that shit. MMmmmm ribs....
Jerrome does learning to play the guitar make me more sexy, less sexy, or just as sexy as I've ever been? I dont think you can get any more sexy
why are lesbians hot? it doesn't do a damn thing to help us(men) so why the excitement? Its fun to watch.
did you ever find bugs bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played a girl bunny? Yes
why is ask jayvee the most popular forum sweeping the nation? Because I am no longer holding back. I will answer ANYTHING
Do you think the broncos will get Terrell Owens, and what are your thoughts on this? Yes he will. We could use some good players on the Team, and based on his numbers, he looks pretty good.
do you think my job will lead to my eventual attacking of a little kid/demolishing of the building? if so, explain what will occur during my mental breakdown. Yes. Here is whats gonna happen. Your boss will say thing ludicrous to you. You will get so pissed off you will throw a chair at his face. It hits him and he goes down. You procede to pick up various objects in his office and chug it at the bastard. You leave the room and stab the nearest person in the neck with scissors. A mod of people will then attack you, but they are no match. By the end, the scene looks alot like what you would see on Kill
why are all of the cute girls psycho? Ive always wondered this myself. They probably get driven to the edge by the assholes.
why are all the pretty girls taken? Because they are pretty. They know their looks will get them a boyfriend so they will never be lonely.
why do fat chicks keep hitting on me? Because you are a sexy beast.
Does work secretly destroy your sanity? Yes it does. Thats why so many adults in their 40/50s (AKA our parents) are insane.
why is the word dingledoo so damn fun to say? hehehe... I have no idea. But Im going to start using it more ;P
who will win the next superbowl? I believe that the Patriots will win again, unfortunately...
why are republicans so damn crazy? Becuase they are led by the biggest idiot the world has ever... EVER... seen.
if a chick agrees to go out with you, but last minute texts you that something came up, what does that mean? It depends on the girl. Theres the lying type, and the truthful kind. The lying one says that something came up, but really goes out with another guy. The truthful type really did like something come up, like family troubles or whatnot. If this is a one time thing with your friend, I wouldnt worry about it. But this is a reoccuring thing, I would probably start looking at a new lady.
Jacob
Why do I hate everyone? Because most people are stupid bitches
do I really hate everyone? no you love mike and i hope me
when am I going to watch that movie? may
does this look infected to you? yes
can I still be a vegetarian if I like to eat p.... nevermind no
is 'V for Vendetta' going to be good? So far from what Ive heard its a pretty good movie
why does Led Zeppelin rock so hard? He rocks out with his cock out
why do hardcore kids dance like nazi monkeys? I honestly couldnt tell ya. I know what you mean now sicne I went to my first real show on Saturday. Those dance moves make my dancing look somewhat normal. And Trust me, I am not a good dancer.
if I wish in one hand and crap in the other, which hand will fill first? crap hand
do you think she hates me? no
where should I get a job? anywhere but Sams (so you can hook me up with a job so I can quit)
why do communists smell like onion? They like to eat tacos
why do I hate Dealin Doug so much? He is a rich son of a bitch. Have you seen him on those commercials? He has a ring in every hand! I say we all kill him and steal his millions of dollars.
how old is Barabara Streisand? 64
is she really jewish? probably not
are any of these questons relevant? yes
If I were to stab myself in the foot do you think it would hurt? Yes. One of the worst pains in my life came from my foot. One time I stepped on a toothpick and it got stuck on my foot. It took almost an hour to pull that fucker out. It was like a giant slinter on your foot and it hurt like a motherfucker. So I wouldnt reccomend cauing any pain to your foot.
Where am I? Colorado
who was the greatest wrestler ever? My favorate is Undertaker, followed by Chris Jericho
will there ever be a band better than led zeppelin? no
is this real... or am I soooo wacked out on sleep deprivation that this has become an illusion of my insomnia? real
do I snore? Yes, I can hear it at my house
when the fuck whell that package get her from europe? I assume since its been like 2 weeks since you sent me this, you have received the package by now.
do I need any more cds? yes
where oh where have all the nuclear weapons gone? Zack has em
was that enough questions? no
is an X-Box a good substitute for a girl? No, Xbox sucks. Nintendo DS yes, because it will let you touch it anytime!
why the fuck is big mike going to hawaii and not us? He didnÃÃ�Ã�Ã�t invite us, that son of a bitch.
LamboWhen will John Cena lose the title? As much as I want Kurt Angle as WWE Champion again, this isnt going to happen. John Cena will lose the title to Triple H, probably at Wrestlemania.
AntonWhy does Jayvee forget to stop by EB Games and visit his buddies? Hey I went like 3 days in a row and you kids werent working! I wanted to Aggressive Carol you
Is Jayvee an Animal Crosser? Yes I am
How much does Jayvee enjoy his 360? honestly? I enjoy it as much as watching Dora the explorer
Shane What is the best ask jayvee question? not the best ever asked. just what the best question would be. and the answer both this one and that question for me. Well thats for you to figure out. I will answer anything, weither it be random, video game, wrestling, sports, movie.... ANYTHING. Im actually surprised no one has asked any game-related questions so I will make you ask me this:
What is the Level select code for Sonic the Hedgehog 2? On the Sound test:19, 65, 9, 17 To get Super Sonic: in the level select screen, do 4, 1, 2, 6
Jake heres one oh drunk ya think ill get in my near future Fuckin shitfaced
Sunnie
1. Why do cartoon characters usually always where the same outfit? Cartoon characters have closets full of the same outfit. Ive seen it on such cartoons as Simpsons and Doug.
2. What makes a guy wake up one day and realize he's ready to get married? When he figures out that he truely loves someone and wants to spend the rest of his life with them.
3. Why can't oranges come pre-peeled? They would dry out too fast if hey werent in their peels
4. If I had a horrible disease that caused me to have massive diarreaha everywhere I went-would you go on an outing to the mall with me....even knowing I would shit all over myself in public? Yes I would
5. How did Flava Flav get his own reality show? Lots and lots of head.
1. why is the pH of our saliva slightly acidic compared to the rest of our body?
2. why is there no sex in the champaigne room justin? Zack drank it all... no champaigne in the champaigne room= a regular room which = no sex
3. why did chilli and tuna make me almost shit my intestines out the other night? The chilli had a extra ingerident called "shitintestineous". It is a secret herb found only on the remote island "Island 'Le Crap' in Hawaii. Whoever made the chilli powder secretly added in the herd without telling you first.
4. Do you think he really had a dream,,,,,or do you think he just bullshitted that whole speech? Yea, he had a dream.
1. How can I tell how far my relationship is going to go with my current boyfriend without having to just straight out ask him? See if he gets pissed if you make dishes he hates for a week. If he can eat them without bitching, you have a winner.
2. How do you fry chicken? and i'm being completely serious-i want to try this. Not sure. Hopefully this recipe will help you out
INGREDIENTS:
* 2 frying chickens, about 2 1/2 to 3 pounds each, cut into serving pieces
* 2 cups all-purpose flour
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
* 1 cup milk
* vegetable shortening for frying
* 1 tablespoon bacon drippings
PREPARATION:
Wash chicken and pat dry.
In a heavy brown paper bag or large food storage bag, combine the flour and salt and pepper; shake to blend well. Pour the milk into a wide shallow bowl.
Heat 2 to 3 inches of shortening in a deep heavy skillet over medium heat, or electric fry pan set at 375 F. Add the bacon grease. When a drop of water spatters when it hits the hot oil, dip some of the chicken pieces into the milk then place in the bag and shake to coat evenly. Arrange the chicken pieces in the fat, making sure not to overcrowd. Fry the chicken until outside is golden brown and crisp, about 15 to 20 minutes, turning once to brown both sides. Reduce heat to 350 F and fry until cooked through golden brown, about 15 minutes longer. Turn once. Drain chicken on brown paper or paper towels, adding a little more shortening and bacon grease if necessary, setting or regulating the temperature as for the first batch.
Transfer the chicken to a large platter for serving.
Serves 8.
3. Do you think I would look cute in a VW bug? Yes.
4. If my current relationship doesn't go anywhere-will you marry me? Of course!
1. Should I work at Hooters to pay for school-or is that too slutty? Yes. School is worth it if it means you have to work at Hooters.
2. I'm probably going to be doing somewhat of a striptease for my boyfriends suprise birthday party-what song should I use? Shake it like a saltshaker
3. Why DO black people like fried chicken so much? It tastes frickin good. I think Im half black, which is why I like fried chicken so much. Guess which half of me is black ;)
4. Whar causes eye boogers? Time for google:
Many years ago, some scientists said that evolution was a fact because the human body supposedly contained parts that didn't do anything. For a long time it was thought that organs such as the tonsils and the appendix were useless "leftovers" of evolution. These parts were called vestigial (ve-STIJ-ee-al) organs. The word "vestigial" means a trace or a mark left by something, much like a footprint. It was thought that these "useless" organs were marks or "footprints" of evolution.
One of those organs was the plica (PLY-ka) semilunaris (sem-ee-LOO-ner-is), which is located around the eye. For many years, this organ was thought to have no function. But lo and behold, eventually it was discovered that this "useless" organ has an important function after all.
In fact, it is the "crusty" factory. It secretes a sticky mass that collects any foreign materials such as dust or pollen. All this trash is surrounded by the sticky gook so that it does not scratch the sensitive cornea in your eye. Once the garbage is collected, the plica semilunaris "escorts" it out of the eye just like a security guard would escort noisy troublemakers out of a theater.
Let's all give the plica semilunaris a big hand for doing such a great job of "taking out the trash" in our eyes!
Christina Why don't some places ship to Hawaii or Alaska? What's the big deal? They dont ship there Im assuming because the are lazy bitches and dont want to spend the money to fly that long of a distance.
Tyler
Why do non-conductive materials reflect much better at larger angles --to the surface normal-- and (conductive) metals reflect better at lesser angles? Because conductive metals are more shiney
2. What is a hacky, and why is it in a sack? A hackies is little space aliens that appear in their safety huts called ÃÃ�Ã�Ã�sacksÃÃ�Ã�Ã�. Us humans think its fun to kick around these sacks as a form of fun
3. Does a black hole violate the Law of Conservation of Matter/Energy? no
4. Is there another word for synonym? mynonys
5. A stationary Buick is crawling (inside) with bees that're not flying. Is it true that the overall weight of the Buick is the same if bees are flying? no
6. What you say? You have no chance to survive make your time.
Jeff
1 why have i never asked you any questions Never had motivation to do so... Im glad you finally did
2 why do you like your nipples They are facinating and fun to rub
3 if its an undisputed heavy weight champeion then whats all the fighting about Undisputed Champion usually means that theres a torunment over a bunch of people who think they are the true champion of a company. It proves that they are the best without dispute.
4 why are all wars just a big peinis showing contest Because its fun to whip out your dick and say "Heh, mines bigger"
5 was the presidential election rigged yes
what ever happend to the show Freekazoid It got cancelled because WB are dumbasses.
and what about Inspector Gadjet It just wasnt popular enough so it got cancelled. They have a new movie on inspector gadget though
and what about BOBBYS WORLD It got cancelled too. I think the old cartoon stations were high on crack when they made these decisions.
And Invader ZIM Not a fan but Nick was dumb for cancelling it because it has a big fan base
And THE TICK See Bobbys world
PINK Panther See Inspector gadget but replace with pink panther
Duck tails the one with balo and him flying the badass plain Thats Tale Spin.
Darkwing Duck Cancelled because it just...did for whatever reason
and all the other great shows that were so good Like I said, whoever made those decisions should be shot for being dumbasses for cancelling classic cartoons.
ohh What about the Mtv show Daria that show was so cool i miss it so much it and its dark ways Never have heard of it.
Nick showed me his questions on ask JV and most of your answers were one to two words why dunno
Lewis Black once said that Martha Stewert Supposably has a vagina and her vagina goes with any home decor... is this true please explain to me why and if it is how much might it cost??? It is. You can put it in any room and will match everything in it automatically. It costs about 12 bucks a pop
if i have a complete breakdown and snap what might happen??? Good Versin and long scary detailed Versin please. Heres what would happen. First you would put real ammunition in your guns. You will walk out your house and blow away the little kid thats walking by. As their brains get splatted on the sidewalk, You hop in your car and speed down the street. You head for the small where all the high school kids are. You throw gernades at them and blow them apart. You then rob the asian store of their swords and slice up the rent a cops. You procede to splice and dice every person you see in Colorado except everyone in the group.
why do people put smily faces on everything :) why To show you that they are happy without you seeing them.
whats better a magical flying goldfish that can talk and change forms into a giant wheel of cheese or the Eternal Damnation Of all Mankind. Nothing at all. I would love to see that before I die.
why do i like Bisquik so much Its good and it creates waffles/pancakes, which are freakin good
why dont we have a tv show called sick sad world There will be one debuting in 2011
why do we say when some one inportant passes awaythis toarch we will always carry for our nations golden child and few years later knowone remembers them?? We just get busy and we get a million other things on our mind so we just tend to forget
can i house a convict and get paid for it Yes. Why you would want to, I have no idea
how can i get more money for working less Colfax my friend
will kile ever have a girlfriend who likes him for who he is Yes eventually
when is the dvd coming out Its already out. Whenever you want it, I will make you one. Itll take like 20 min to burn though
who invented the sky diving helmetand whats the point if your going to die anyway It was invented by Dave Divehead. He invented it so you dont die as quickly when you hit the ground
why do laxitives sometimes tast like SHIT and others tast kinnda good They add ingredients so they dont taste like ass. Like the chocolate kind we used to put in teachers coffee.
why isnt their more flavors of pudding Because Chocolate, Vanilla, and Topeoka (Sp) is just enough to win over anyone
what ever happend to Abbazabba they died
why is a twix called a twix It wasnt always called that, Jeff. Heres some history that I found on Twix:
The Twix candy bar, first introduced in 1979, was known as a "Raider" bar in France, Germany and several other European countries until 1991 when Mars decided to standardize its name. The change was not well accepted in countries such as Germany where customers mocked the name change as a transparent attempt to sell more candy bars by simply updating the name. The Twix bar consists primarily of a cookie center topped with caramel and coated with milk chocolate.
and what ever happend to casual friday some companies still do casual friday. Im not sure what you wear at your job, but I wear casual every day I work
why dont we have a casual sex friday Sounds good to me
why are there not any flavored spoons If you ate your spoon, then what would you have to eat with? Cereal sucks when you have to use a fork
and who the fuck invented the black jellie bean A black guy named Jellanie
and why are jouejouebeas so damn addicting ... what are joue...whatevers?
what is will farrils name in zoolander Bill Warril
who invented the piano key neck tie Derek
why dont they come out with a universal gamming system that plays everything???
and dont give me any econ supply and demand or drive of the economy or make more money for people shit Ive been wondering that since I was a kid. But Im sure it would be because it would cause a monopoly in video game consoles. Then the government will get pissed and make the company seperate into different brands and compete against each other
jennifer 1.why are women strangely attracted to me???i recently got bite by a married women in the bar!!!so why??? Because you are sexy to all genders
2.why is cereal addictive??? It tastes good and it is relatively cheap. It also takes like a minute to make
3. why don't bandaids stick??? Depends on what brand you buy. From my experence, the dollar store ones suck. The ones that are dark brown that my mom buys work well. Not sure what brand it is, but Im sure its the expensive kind they sell at walmart
4. did we really land on the moon? or was it all a conspiracy and all fillmed in a studio???? yes we did
5. and why is teen hunger force so damjn appealing???it's a shake..and meat wad and a deal of french fries yet i can't turn it...why??? Dunno, I dont really like that show that much. I know alot of people like it, but I just dont get the jokes or why people think its funny. Im sure if I understood it then I would like it.
Justin 1) Where can I get a job that doesn't mind my ears that has decent pay and I can get a shit-ton of hours? Costco (It pays more then Sams)
2)When will said job hire me? probably, gotta bug them though
3)How long will it be before my car blows up? 5 months
4)When will it be warm enough for me to ride my vespa around? Mid April
5)Should I really be wearing a helmet while riding said vespa? no
Cassie Why are racist or opinionated people so ignorant?? They truely believe their beliefs and will defend them till they die. Those type of people PISS me off. I personally try to see things from both sides, so I am pretty much neutral.
Daniel
If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed? Miss Dracula helps him out
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? Not if its for sexual pleasure
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? The red and doesnt count
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? We wouldnt... we would be doomed to a life of mispellings
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Im sure he took the time to go through every avalaible word that was around at that time and write definitions for them for easy access later.
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Whack= out of context. We say whack because it is a slang word. I doubt anyone wants to say "Man, thats out of context!"
6. Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? Ive never heard of slow up before O.o
7. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? They both refer to you have little to no chance. But they way you say it is up to personal perference
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges? Thats their job...
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there? I think back in the day you used to sing this to your parents in order to let them know you wanted to go to the game. I think we sing it now because its one of the only songs that baseball has left besides that "Hey" song
10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting? Well, What if they were called sittings? Can you picture the announcer: "The fans in the sittings are on their feet!" It just wouldnt work
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"? I think its shortened for "After it has turned dark"
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? no
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites? Wise men arent smartasses in most cases
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things? Dunno... they were made that way?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds? Ph sounds like f... but it isnt. Its just one of those spelling things that you have to live with. Besides, fonics just looks weird
16. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Because you dont have to be in love with someone to see them in their lingerie
17. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? no
18. Why is bra singular and panties plural? Americans have adapted panty as "panties" for whatever reason. I guess it just sounds better. If you say "bras", people will think you are refering to more then one. So we just stick to bra
19. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead? I already answered this one. Look for Tommys section in the past ask jayvee questions
20. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? Its opposite day...everyday
21. How come abbreviated is such a long word?It just how it was created. Just just abb.
22. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? We wash bath towels because they get wet and if you dont wash them, they will get moldy
23. Why do we need to wash our washcloths? What do you do when you wash something, you put it in with water and soap and it scrub it together!!! Isn't that the same thing that happens when you take a shower or bath??? See above
24. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? See ..19
25. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one? It has more then one part... it is a set once all the pieces are put together
26. (I always wanted to know) Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?????? See 17 but I think Nick asked it
Do people who've been blind for thier whole life have dreams?? if so is it just blank and they hear talking or does their mind just create images to dream about. They probably visualise stuff in their dreams... it probably looks completely different than what we can see though.
Also if we are part of this state, this states part of this country, this country is part of the Continent, the Continent is part of the world, the world is part of the solar system, the solar system is part of the galaxy, the galaxy is part of the universe, what's the universe part of?? Everything has to have a begining and end so there has to be something at the end of the universe it can't just end and then there's nothing, like if you are going through space there isn't just a brick wall out there to mark the end of the universe there's something else, or if there is a brick wall what's on the other side? Basically with all this rambling I'm just asking what's after the universe?? or what's the Universe part of? I think the universe has no end. If it does, it probably loops at a curtain point, like when you reach the north pole, you start going south.
Also why does Kelly like Denny's so much? They have some good stuff. Plus her friends work there.
Troy
What's more annoying; overly happy people or overly sad? Overly sad. Depressed people make me want to slap them across the face.
What is the count for kyle getting hit by a car or hitting a car? I know he got one more on his last trip to mexico. Probably around 5
What is the worst STD to have (besides AIDS/HIV)? Genital herpes
What is the difference with the different reigon DVDs and DVD players. Why don't european DVDs work in American DVD players? Is there some sort of universal player out there? The DVD Players have different coding then in other regions. They do it so you dont import movies early if other regions get them before ours. The same concept applys for Playstation/ Xbox/ Gamecube games. Im sure if you look hard enough you can find a universial DVD player out there.
Do other animals have STDs? Yes
What prompted the idea for the "ask jayvee" ? I thought it would be fun to have a segment every week that people would look forward to on Myspace