The "I'm asking for help so I can talk down to you and feel better about myself customer".

I don't care if you're asking me for help, its my job, its what i do, I am hapy to help you as long as I'm being paid to do it. But don't look down on me when the product you want, or the rband you want isnt on the shelf. It isn't my fault and i am not stupid nor do I deserve to be treated like a shithead because you've decided that obviously your shit smells like roses.

The Guilt Trip Customer.

You've come in for something obscure and most likely stupid thing for your grandaughters brityhday party. we diont have it. You come through my register sigh dramatically and say "Its my grandaughter/pet prostitutes birthday abnd you dont have the whip cream crap i want to fill her mouth with as a treat because it tastes so much better than when i give her a pearl necklace and accidentally get some in her mouth." Oh no. That poor Prostitute. I'm not paid to care or pat your shoulder and say "Wow, my company is shit." We don't have it, tough luck. Take a dump on your prostitutes chest for a treat. Its free, and your shit does smell like roses.

I've bought something you sell in your store from somewhere else and get offended when you ask for proof of purchase.

If you didn't nick it, whats the problem? I have to ask and it looks shifty if you resist.

I'm the proud parent of three really annoying and over excited kids and have no idea how to control them.

If they split their heads open, you cannot sue us. it is not our responsibility to take care oif your children. you bought them into this world, you idiot, be a parent and fucking control the screaming brats.

to be continued. is too hot even to bitch right now.

NEVEREVERLAND
FEATURING:
The Presets
Klaxons
***Cut Copy***
Hercules and Love Affair
Whitest Boy Alive
Ladyhawke
The Bumblebeez
Muscles
Van She
Tame Impala
The Bang Gang Deejays
Ajax
The Lost Valentinos
Mission Control
Temper Trap
Canyons
Pepperoni
Andee Van Damage
Bag Raiders


SATURDAY 20 DECEMBER
BRISBANE RIVERSTAGE, BRISBANE


I'm keen.

[x] Mothe..r
[x] Fathe..r
[ ] Step-..Fathe..r/..adopt..ed
[ ]..Step-..Mothe..r/..adopt..ed
[ ]..Step-..Siste..r/..adopt..ed
[ ] Step Broth..er/..adopt..ed
[x ] Broth..er
[ ] Broth..er In Law
[x] Siste..r
[ ] Siste..r In Law
[ ] Half siste..r
[ ] Half broth..er
[ ] Nephe..w
[ ] Niece
[x] Cell phone
[x] Own Room
[ ] have/..had a Swimm..ing pool
[ ] Hot tub
[ ] Guest.. room
[x] Livin..g Room
[ ] Compu..ter Room
[x] Compu..ter
[] TV
Total..: 8

[ ] Full size or bigge..r bed
[x] More than or 8 pairs.. of shoes
[ ] Sungl..asses
[x] Watch
[] MP3 Playe..r/..iPod that works.. well
[ ] PS2 that works
[ ] Xbox that works
[] Ninte..ndo DS or PSP that works
[] Gameb..oy/ Advan..ce
[ ] Gamec..ube
[ x] Wii
[] Lapto..p
Total.. so far: 11

[] Baske..tball.. hoop
[ ] Air hocke..y table
[ ] Pool table
[ ] ping pong table
[] Foose..ball table
Total.. so far: 11

[] Night..stand
[] Stere..o in bedro..om
[ ] DVD playe..r in bedro..om
Total.. so far: 11

[] Goes shopp..ing Every..other..day.

[x] AIM/..MSN
[x] Camer..a/ or on phone
Total.. so far: 13

[x] Elect..ric or gas scoot..er/..4x4/..motor..cycle../..car/..go-..cart
[..]..guita..r/..drums../..bass guita..r
[] piano../..Keybo..ard
[] Any other.. instr..ument
[] Been on a cruis..e
[x] out of the state
[ ] Had a perso..nal train..er
[x] Expen..sive jewel..ery
[x] met a celeb.. or a singe..r/..band
Total.. so far:..17

[x] staig..htene..r/..curli..ng iron
[ ] Have been to a batti..ng cage
[ ] Have $100 on you right.. now
[x] credi..t card/..debit.. card/..bank card
[ ] have/..had a massi..ve tv
[x] have/..had a mirro..r in your room
[x ] have/.. had foxte..l
[ ] foxte..l in your room
[x] 3 or more bedro..oms in your house
[ ] Been to Las Vegas
[ ] Been to the Baham..as
[ ] Been to Mexic..o
Total.. so far: 22

[x] Paren..ts have a car
[] Have owned.. or own a Jet Ski/..boat
[] have owned.. or own skis/.. snowb..oard.

[] Campi..ng
[x] Been to 3+ state..s
[x] 50+ buddi..es on faceb..ook/..myspa..ce/..aim
Total.. so far: 25

[] Home cooke..d meal almos..t every.. day
[ ] been in a limo
[] Been in a helic..opter
[] Own/..owend..ed a camco..rder
[x] Own a compu..ter
Total.. so far: 26

1-22 = poor teen
23-..33 = Avera..ge Teen
34-..44= upper.. class.. teen
45-..up= rich brat

I'll say it straight and plain
I know I've made mistakes
I've always been afraid
I've always been afraid

A thousand nights or more
I travel east and north
Please answer the door

Can you tell me
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

Get down on your knees
Whisper what I need
Something pretty
Something pretty

I feel that when I'm old
I'll look at you and know
The world was beautiful

Then you tell me...
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

I'm done, there's nothing left to show
I try but can't let it go
Are you happy where you're standing still?
Do you really want the sugar pill?
I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll start
Tonight it feels so hard
As the train approaches Gare Du Nord
As I'm sure your kiss remains employed
Am I only dreaming?

You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

'I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I'veled a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my namewill soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded asgloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all myheart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.'
-Noah, from The Notebook (2004)

I often wonder, at midnight on a weeknihgt. How i got to where I am. How'd I reach this point, when i put up so many defences, so many walls? when i was so determined to be loved but not to love? to not get hurt again.

 

i remember being sixteen and swearing that i would never, ever have any best friends ever, not only because i didn't deserve them, but because i didn't wan tot go through the pain of losing them.

 

I didn't want to share so much of me just to lose it. and i applied the same logic to boys, till i met axel.

 

then we broke up. and other things happened just to add salt to the wound. people like to rub it in, i think. enjoy the spectacle a little longer.

 

and i remember swearing to myself, no more friends, no more falling in love. no more risking myself. its too hard, too risky. it only ever goes one way.

 

but then i met chantelle, and then, out of the blue, this wonderful Sean guy. and for a few weeks i was ebing pulled in both directions. and then, when things with chantelle cooled down, only on e.

 

but it wasn't until i let my guard down, till i let his stupid smile and those odd moments we seemed to share we said the same things, at the same time.

 

that drunken, beautiful moment when he asked me to skip the state with him.

 

"Its where I'm going. Not right now. I'll wait for you. I want you to come."

"Okay."

 

I don't understand how love works. whether tis beautiful eyes or personality or chemistry or fate.

 

all i've figured out so far is that it hurts, even when the goings good. it bites at you and sends you crazy. worse than any kind of mental illness. its not easy, and its not romantic. its hard and it breaks you and changes you and takes you to places you didn't even know existed.

 

If I knew how, I don't know if I'd stop myself ebing in love or making friends or giving myself to the wonderful people i've met over the short span of my life so far.

 

i just wonder why so many people paint it as such a pretty picture.

I was talking to Sean the other day, anout stuff. WoW possibly. And it somehow went over to my books and things. And after the conversation had kind of faded away, I think I realised something.

I think I may possibly have very high and unrealistic standards for real life love stories.

and I blame Jane Austen.

And then I thought, why shouldn't I? Why shouldn't I want a prince charming with romance and roses and wooing?

Doesn't every girl deserve to be wooed?

And then I wondered if anyone had been wooed since 1985 except in John Cusack movies.

goddamnit.
A girl needs some romance novel-esque romantic shtuff in her life.

but then it comes back to the question, is a man ever really that romantic? are there any boys actually out there who actually do romantic and lovely things?

I mean, I love Sean, romance or no, but to be treated like a princess? to be courted and respected and to be fallen in love with elizabeth bennet and mr darcy style?

surely jane didn't make all of that up?

so my question is this; are there any real life romance experiences out there? is there hope for real life romance? or should I stick to my books and accept the most romantic thing that has ever been done for me is Sean buying me my own computer?

she gets too hungry for dinner at 8.
she likes the theatre and never comes late.
she never bothers with people she'd hate.
thats why the lady is a tramp.

Lying in bed with the sexiest boy in the planet, appreciating his smooth skin and the presence and smell of him, and I wonder, who am I?

Outside of my love for Seanus. Outside of my friends. When I stand alone to be judged, to be taken in. By myself, who am I?

And my first thought was, No one. Nothing. Nobody.

But, I don't think thats true.

I am the girl who demands fairness.
I am one who is selfish but tries very hard not to be.
I need reassurance of the love of those I care about.
And even then, don't quite truly believe it.

I get anxious when I have arranged to be picked up by family or friends, and no one is there. And believe I have been forgotten.

I am a bookworm like you couldn't believe, and delve in fantasy and the all time classics over and over again. And if I could, spend my whole life living through those books.

I am psychotic, miserable, manic, depressed. I am sick. But they have a magic pill for that.

I am immature. I look at the world like its too grown up and ridiculous to even be bothered with. I want to spend my life never amounting to much, and instead surround myself with books, people, vodka and silly dancing.

And yet on the other hand, I want to go back to school, become a police officer. Have a career. Marry Sean. Have a white picket fence, a dog and 2.5 children.

Sometimes I want to die. Sometimes I don't want to wake up. I want to free everyone I love of the burden of knowing me.

And the next moment I want to embrace life. Laugh, love, fuck, make out and eat black forest chocolate and lemon sorbet.

I want to indulge my illness, want to fall into the black abyss because it would be so easy. And at the same time, defeat it.

Sometimes, though I think its sort of, you know, egotistical or whatever. I look in the mirror and think I'm not so bad looking.

And other times am nearly bought to tears with the uglyness of my reflection.

I am inconsistent, stubborn, wrong but faithful.
I don't believe in being anyone else, in pretending to be anyone other than myself.

and yet spend the majority of my time wishing i were someone better, smarter, funnier, lovelier.

i love my video games. spend alot of time playing in virtual worlds, forever looking for new ways to escape reality.

i like to read about serial killers. learn about profilers, the cops who invesitgate and bring them down. what caused them to be the way they are, and the mistakes they made which eventually caused them to be caught.

my dream job; to become a profiler or detective. working to get these creeps behind bars. buit also helping the world udnerstand, so that we might stop people like that being created in the future.

I am the girl who worships love songs. rocks out to the monkeys, and sings along to franz.

I am also the girl who spent alot of her teenage years watching rage and discovering the pumpkins.

once a pumpkin, always a pumpkin - d'arcy

i love vodka and lemonade. girls nights out, and lanning with the boys.

I am all this. I want all this.

And yet i think its all kind of inconsequential, if i havent got the kind of friends ive got.

I will always feel my illness. it will always eb a part of me. but so will the magical memories and moments ive had with friends and family.

and they help fight thaty horrible dark part of me that all too often threatens to take over and bring me down, down so far that i might one day, never be able to come back out.

i don't know if I'm getting worse. and if I am, i can't afford the right kind of doctors to help me get out.

i guess in writing this i'm hoping to find something inside of me that says i can fight this. that i can get out of it and be the girl that seanus loves. the daughter my parents know me to be, and the friend my treasures need.

I am Leash. Alicia. Leashapotimus. And I'm simply trying to understand.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you sovulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it meansthat someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all thesedefenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurtyou, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person,wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. Theydidn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you orsmile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takeshostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying inthe darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends'turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts.Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, areal gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. - Neil Gaiman

somebody, kill me.