sunrise to sunset, i slept all day, sunrise to sunset, i slept like the dead, i dreamt about shadows weighed down by lead. the rappers understand the words like a write never could, you learn to puck your phrases well living in the hood. someones got her fingers broken but its better than her face, you run the risk of ricochets in such an empty space. sunrise to sunset, sunrise to sunset. i saw gods face in a kaleidoscope, in the place the moon goes to smoke her dope. (like a jail cell without keys, like a bird with no wings, like a moth-eaten sweater with holes in the sleeves...) sun rises, sun sets.





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when you see something like that, you cant just un-see it. its etched into the inside of your skull, your mind plays it over and over again trying to understand the logistics of it. for the weak, they will come to deny it, create a comfortable scenario that justifies what happened. but the strong, they will take it for what it is: magic.







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i asked my shadow a question, she told me to ask my bones. directed to the center synapse i think baby had another relapse. i know youre trying just not hard enought. i know youre trying just not hard enough. so many scars now they never drained the filled up spaces because god just has too many faces no i dont understand your religion. i know youre trying just not hard enough. i know youre trying but its just not hard enough.






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sometimes, when youre high enough, you begin to vibrate. sometimes, if youre sober enough, you begin to vibrate so hard youre not even moving. if youre strong enough the dimensions will shift and you see the world again for the first time. its infinite if not constant, and i think i understand how its actually always been like that, just a hidden aspect. you have to dig deep enough for it.

dawn breaks overhead again, this is what we were made to do. everyone kills themselves, and each other, over finding where the beginning began, the answer just seems so obvious to me, but maybe its just not the same for them, this is what i was made to do. so i found my sister, i found her in the last place i would dare to go, shes the one shes the one, shes the one in the spotlight and im just hiding backstage, and i can deal with that. im alive again. this is what we were made to do. is it really okay to kill one to save a hundred? someones gotta love that one too, right? these things probably wont end, just develop a capacity for them, and i can deal with that. im alive again. tangibility.... walking towards those questions and those answers quietly, softly, like a child at a piano with no concept of a music theory, just do it, just doing it, this is what i was made to do. this was meant to be mine. im alive again.





i picked the blister off my hand again, just like every other scab ive ever had. this has nothing to do with anything else, but i really liked how haley said that presents werent promises and kisses werent contracts. and no one thinks i pay attention... this is what i was made to do.