Good thing it is warm today!  The pool opens this morning and amazingly enough my son slept in till eight.  Not at 7:50 or 8:05, but 8 on the nose, this kid is like clockwork.

I was woken up by a "dad, I need my swimsuit, will you help me?"   I rolled over amazed I got to sleep in so late, and said ya in a minute I just woke up too. 

Too late, he had his best suit and CU Buffalo's Jersey picked out for the day and took them downstairs as I opened the garage door for him and told him to stay out of the street and he agrees to what I just said and let me grab a 5-minute shower.  No the good for me part…

I grabbed by Target branded camouflage swimsuit that I got for Cancun three months ago that fit, but snug.  I pulled it on laced it up and realized it is baggy as in too big!  Sweet!  Anyway enough about me this morning…

I went down to check on him in the garage and he was marching up and down the sidewalk whipping his green float noodle around saying I want to take this when the pool opens, is it time yet?  I told him 90 minutes and I get the OK Dad da, OK.  Since my morning ritual involves a Java blast -done, I checked my mail and typed this quick update –now done, and guess what I have been asked three times since I started keying "is it time yet?"  I cannot wait till we master that time thing, hopefully next!

Stay tuned over the summer for swim lesson video and photos, splashing and general pool craziness.  Oh Boy…

It is nice for this At Home Dad to be wanted in one breath from my 5 year old son; then the next breath
"I hate you!" So where do this At Home Dad stand? My son has a "love-hate" relationship with me depending on his current mood.

If things are going his way and life is good I am never called names. When these times are happening, I am called Dad da, not dada like a baby verbalizes, but a Dad da, two explicitly distinct words said in rapid series and said only when we are harmonizing in life.

If things are NOT going his way and life is NOT going in his favor, I am called names. When these times are happening, I am called a Poopy Head or am told, "I hate you".

Unfortunately in our 5 year relationship we have gone from mostly good days, I yearn for, to me being told he hates me more days than not, not because I am trying to be mean, but I have to keep an adult outlook on what's going on and keep us safe. I try to talk to him and be his friend but when it is eight o'clock at night and he wants to go outside and play with the older kids on the block, and I say no, I am instantly the household villain. Trying to explain to a five YO that I am his biggest advocate and supporter is like trying to explain the concept of time to someone who cannot tell time, where in time and age he will eventually understand what I am saying. I would love to let him go out and play more, but I have to be responsible about his best interests, which turn into my best interests.

I guess I should just be happy he no longer says, "You wrecked my life" when he does not get his way followed with the "I hate you" jargon. Those really made me feel valued.

So what are these days, just the start to a vicious series of love-hate cycles until he is twenty-five or so? It will only get more complex with time, first with girls, then with vehicles and girls, followed with vehicles booze and girls; I can only imagine what it's going to be like, then times it by 10. Then by the time, he is 25 it will all stop because he is finally grown up and may have kids of his own, or so I hope.

To put it in perspective these lyrics sum it all up. Go to my Crea8Buzz profile and listen to the song "Don't Blink" in the player at the bottom to get the true meaning, sentiment and power of this Kenny Chesney song.

Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you…
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife…
Don't blink…
You just might miss your babies growing up…

Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"…
Of fifty years is there in bed and you're praying God takes you instead…
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think…
So don't blink

I had better not blink or I might miss something even though there are times where I think I will never pine for these days!

OK, I know the calendar says June, the grass is green with leaves on the trees, heck my Rose bushes even have buds!  But why is it still so cold out?  The first 4 days of June have been rather chilly, in fact so cold the pool hasn't even been open.  I went this morning and it was cool and clear. 

But not so cold and clear where somebody wasn't even able to make it to the bathroom!  The had to close the pool because somebody launched a "Brown Trout" into the far end.  Yep, your thinking right, they took a dump in the pool and by no means was it a small toddler size excrement, but adult sized.  Nobody would admit it but I have a hunch it was the extra large young teenage boy in need of a bra who did it.   You see he was floundering in that end of the pool the disappeared and was only too helpful to help the women lifeguards who fished it out, dump it from the net.  I have no proof it was this kid but you don't need to be a rocket scientist to put two and two together.  Where did this kid go while Miss Katy the guard saw it and fished it out?  Probably to the men's room to finish up with the paperwork if you catch my drift.  Why did he go back and volunteer to run the net?  Heck this kid had a case of Plumbers Butt that would humble a true pro!  Think about it, for a person to leave a poop in the pool with a swimsuit on, takes effort because well you know...  If those girls had any Cajone's they would have put two and two together and figured out who did what and nailed this kid!  But I am just a Stay at Home Dad who was catching up on some reading before swimming because my kid is in school today and good thing I read, because I might have got some on me!

Those poor girls didn't know what to do because Mr. Steve was at another pool today, good thing they called him because they put Danger tape (a Spanish version nonetheless) around it to close the pool and Shocked it and scrubbed the skid marks the load created away.  I asked Miss Katy why they closed it, and she thought a second about the wording and while trying to be a big girl said there was feces in the pool while not trying to be too grossed out.  These were just high school girls who guard in the summer for the awesome tan, not to pull teenage or adult bowel movement from the pool.  I give these girls a thumbs up for their effort today!

1.    Chewable fever breaker with sore throat reliever and cough suppressant (may require multiple meds).  Make sure they are all compatible with each other.

2.    Children's Pepto, for the overindulgence of sweets, upset/sour stomach that can happen when you least expect it, a real lifesaver!  Need I say more? 

3.    Pre-moistened wipes for those unexpected blowouts, either below the belt or when extra catsup is added when you are not looking.  It is also a good idea to wipe the shopping cart down; especially during the cold and flu season.

4.    Juice Boxes stashed in your car.

5.    A pocket full of loose change, you never know when one of those gumball type machines at their eye level is going to disrupt your plans when you are jammed for time and you need complete cooperation.  Who said 25¢ can't by peace!

So, we Stay at Home Dads are in a unique position where we get to relive all the good things we had when we were kids to pass along to our kids. One of my favorites is ice cream and frozen custard! What is your favorite taste? Thinking back on it, the old DQ was pretty grand, and then came along the advent of, drum roll please. At the no. 3 position Cold Stone Creamery and their high dollar treats, No. 2 Good Times with their Spoon Bender and the best from the Milwaukee area and my all time no. 1 favorite Kopp's Frozen Custard Flavor of the Day; all worthy competitors with an awesome taste!
What is yours?

The InStep Pathfinder is a bonus compared to other tag along bikes priced more than double in price. You've no doubt seen this type of thing being pulled more often than not by a mountain bike, it connects to your seat post, has a third wheel, a seat behind a set of handle bars and pedals to push. This hybrid has no brakes and free wheels backwards too if the rider does not want to pedal they can cruise, but pedaling is encouraged.
Sticker price of $119.00 but it was on sale for $79.00, dad's bonus shopping thanks to a Miss Debbie(of the Y) tip at the clubhouse when she asked what we were doing for the day and I went off on an overpriced tag along rant.
My son graduated to his second bike with training wheels this week even though he still goes about 1 mile max, and he goes so slow I can't keep my bike balance but he rides faster than I can walk which was causing us problems and the balance I provide him will only help him, or so I hope.
Last weekend we went for a big family Mothers Day ride along the Spring Creek Trail in Fort Collins and we were able to borrow an older model InStep that my son desperately wanted to ride on but was a little intimidated and rode in a Burly with his younger cousin the first 6 miles. At the 6-mile mark I stopped with the tag along still attached to my bike and waited for the Burly to catch up and when we pulled up I said "I sure need help pedaling uphill wanna ride and help me out?" He said sure and unbuckled to get out and climb aboard my rig while wearing his helmet. We took off slow, I kept asking/telling him to hang on, which he did, and soon we were at the end of the trail ready to turn around for the cruise back down to the east. The ride was uneventful other than my son getting cramps in his hand from holding on tight for so long but I heard him singing as if I have never heard him sing before as he pedaled while loving life.
Getting back to the PF 250, setup was minimal out of the box and after a couple of test rides around the block we got the seat height right and the handlebars in a good forward position. I did have to fiddle and play with the double directional knuckle pivots the PF 250 uses when negotiating turns a couple of times. I was a little concerned about the seat post mount to my bike and the way I had to torque it down, my seat rotated as I negotiated turns but I fixed that by tightening the lever for the seat to make it tight and loosened the knuckle even further. I looked at the REI brand of tag along on their web site that runs for $159.00 and it had all the similar critical components. It had the quick release for the handlebars his and my seat post mounts where the PF 250 had Allen Bolt patterns at these locations; but hey, for $75 bucks I can turn some bolts!
In this dads opinion if you don't need a splash guard to protect junior when there is water at the curb and don't mind spinning a wrench if you change bikes (you can get an extra mount of the InStep web site for 8 bucks to eliminate the wrenching) this tag along is well worth the money! I bet we outgrow it by the time all the new tire nubs wear out and by then it will be garaged sale sold a couple of times. Time will tell, but I also have an InStep Jog Stroller that has been to Disneyworld and back while being put through our paces, miles and Sippy spills and still runs strong. I did not even blink twice about the brand in my 10 minute in and out of Target!

Kids Are Smart!

After a couple weeks of a living Hell , it seems to have worked so far as long as I keep reminding him of what he's doing. 
Last night after a couple weeks of thrash, This Stay at Home Dad sat down with my four year old while I tried to gain his attention.  I wasn't too sure I had it, but I kept talking about what big boys do and how their parents react, and what he's doing now and the way I am reacting.  He was looking away but listening to me, mark a small victory for me!
I kept going, pointing out his behavior and comparing our life to a big kid's behavior and what their parents did as a result.  We were starting to make small brief eye contact, mark a small success for me!
Slowly, I had his full attention as I continued with I know you are a nice sweet boy because I have seen it when we go out to the clubhouse, the store and Soccer, and everyplace else.  What happens when we get home?  He started to break away and look for anything else to look at but me as I continued.  He knew I was on to his game, mark another small success for me!
This morning dawned early as usual for us at 6:45 with him calling for his mom who had left for work 15 minutes earlier, and I yelled back telling him "Mom was at work already" as I jumped out of bed and took a quick three minute shower before my thrash continued for yet another day.  I got dressed, he called me into his room, I said "why?", and he said, "Because I want you to". So I went in and he just said "I want my Mommy", I told him, "Mom was at work already but I'm here" as I went back to comb my hair.  He got up and went downstairs acting like a changed man, he was polite and considerate this morning he didn't even demand his toast shaped waffles or a Sippy of Milk right away, I poured his cup of Milk and delivered it as I was guessing he was developing his game plan to reek havoc in my life today.  I went to turn on his shows before clubhouse preschool as I fired up my trusty Dell laptop to check my e-mail and yesterdays web stats.  He started asking for some waffles and I said in just a minute, he asked again so I jumped to make them and tame the evil spirit before he made an appearance. 

As of 9 AM this morning, mark a small victory for this Stay at Home Dad in a lifetime of kid conflicts to come!
Just try talking to your kids!  They're listening!

Or Another Sign of Aging

Do you remember those days not so long ago when if there were dead silence it would send you into a tizzy while scrambling for something that produced some sort of sound?  I know it did this Stay at Home Dad.  Maybe it was the stereo or radio in the days before the Ipod revolution, as long as it made sound it worked.   Do you ever drive whatever it is you drive without music on?  No way, this was me till about six months ago; always playing some kind of music wherever I went, and now I relish driving someplace by myself, solo, while listening to nothing other than my automatic transmission shift while accelerating.  The sweet sounds of silence.

While this stay at Home Dad was sitting in the kitchen at his Dell laptop relishing the sweet sounds of nothing it dawned on him, in the immortal words of Jimmy Buffett, I grew up into one of those people my parents warned me about.  OK, not really but you get the idea, I am just as if my folks were when I was young and I swore it would never happen to me!

However, tonight after a full day of my preschoolers thrashing and ordering me while demanding me to do things I would not do; of which I ranted about here yesterday, 26 Apr 2007.  I sat here and relished calmness to the dull redundant hum of the refrigerator as I knocked back the only beer in my house, a 24 oz. Miller High Life Light as I typed this Blog to post in the morning and boy, I wish I had another.  In the modest words of Pink Floyd, am I comfortably numb?  I don't know but it feels good hearing nothing as I do something. 

Thinking back on it, I am comfortably numb while being the person my parents warned me about!

When Terrible Twos Wasn't So Terrible

This Stay at Home Dad wants to go back to yesterday.  Take me back to yesterday and I will tell you about the good old days of changing multiple diapers a day and the only resentful thing said to me were about his bottle of milk being empty.
Sometimes it feels like my world's gone crazy when dealing with the attitude, fingers and mouth of a four-year-old, please can I ever go back to yesterday?

Other Moms and my sister used to say to me in my early days of being a Stay at Home Dad, just wait until the terrible twos arrive!  Well sister those days have come and gone; can we go back?  When the F***ed Up Fours arrived, life really started to suck! 

The F***ed Up Fours Thrash

When my son turned four my life really got f***ed up trying to meet his needs thinking that this phase would pass next week and the next phase would raise hell on my life.  My son's identity really started to surface and I was tested on everything, from launching his 100s of Hotwheels cars across the kitchen for the mere sound of them crashing into the cabinets to, being asked all day long if his friend Sadie was home from school yet starting about 9AM. 

Up His Nose It Goes

Then when his shows are on TV, it is like a magnet; his finger goes from its new home of being in his nostril straight down to his mouth, I jump his shit over this and his response is "well Evan says it's OK" as he picks his nose again.  Evan is his preschool bud and I am told Evan knows more than dad does, just ask my son as he kicks over a portable tray table for the umpteenth time today just for the sound it makes while hitting the floor.  Please can this Stay at Home Dad ever go back to yesterday?

I Ruined His Life

I am told multiple times a day that I ruined his life, that I am mean and that Evan knows more than I do.  I cannot get a break no matter what I do, but I am Dad, a dad who has done that Stay at Home Dad gig now for over four years.  I love doing what I do while at the same time longing for a job where I can drive in rush hour traffic while listening to music (my music) , worry about corporate downsizing and go more than a couple of hours without a finger going from up the nose it goes to in the mouth it went.  This Stay at Home Dads only fear of downsizing these days is my longing for my life as it was when it had some sanity to it.  I know that this phase will soon pass and it will seem simple compared to what we will face when my son is 16 and wants the car on Friday night.  Please can I ever go back to yesterday?  He is only four years old and has more girlfriends than boy buds, what is it going to be like in 12 years?  Please can this Stay at Home Dad ever go back to yesterday?

Girlfriends and Boy Buds

Speaking of boy buds, I know they are only four but when I pick my son up from school, Evan comes running asking him "where's my hug?"  Then they give bear hugs to each other while little Miss Ashley tell me she is my sons friend.  I know there only four but I would sure feel better seeing him giving Ashley a hug than Evan, but what is it going to be like in 12 years?  Please can this Stay at Home Dad ever go back to yesterday?

In all honesty, I got him in preschool for the social interaction of being around kids his own age knowing full well that he would pick up such flattering habits as his nasal snacking, and me getting called a poopy head when I ruined his life again today; this is starting to take its toll on me.  Please can this Stay at Home Dad ever go back to yesterday?

My DVD F***ed Up Fours Thrash

This kid has quite the DVD collection from Cailou and Baby Einstein collection to Curious George, Nemo and Infinity and Beyond if you catch my drift, anyway these videos get tossed and scratched after his mom gives them to him to play with to settle the nasty spiritedness, and I can't blame her.  Then It's up to me and myself only to perform a faith healing to make them one again and play, I am only a Stay at Home Dad, I am not superhuman!

My Anti-Child F***ed Up Fours Thrash

Then there was last night after my 4 year old goes through this nightly rage from 5-7 PM when he is seemingly transformed into the anti-child!  He refuses to nap and it shows in this timeframe when an all-new level of ugliness takes his face and wreaks havoc in my life; there is no pleasing this person even when he gets his way!  Please can this Stay at Home Dad ever go back to yesterday?

He is in preschool 2.5 days a week, Monday Wednesday and Friday mornings, these days go all too quick for me and my haunting comes on Tuesday and Thursdays along with the weekends.  "Well where his mom" you ask?  Please can this Stay at Home Dad ever go back to yesterday?

I know this is only an F***ed Up Fours phase and things will get better, but will this phase ever end?  This is only one day for tomorrow brings on a new F***ed Up Fours Thrash.