So it's been a while.

God has been teaching me a LOT lately. My spiritual life has shifted several times. I'm sure I'm not exactly the same person now as I was from the last post.

So the last time I wrote was in July. Now its December, Christmas is in a week and my life is total chaos. What makes my life crazier than homework, church, job hunting and college preparation is really the fear of the unknown. My future. Am I really on the right track?

The experience which I am about to share could be seen as having nothing to do with direction from God. However I disagree and will further my search for the small ways in which God works. Churchy people are always saying things like that " god works in mysterious ways," " pay attention to the small things". Well I did, and now I'm going to share it.

When I asked God to help me with my future I kind of expected a genie-like response. Visions, signs, something obvious. I didn't expect to be strung along for months and months. I didn't expect to cry over it and go through so much doubt. I didn't expect it to feel like a single-sided phone call at some points.

For months I have been rolling around the ideas and possibilities of what to do for a career. Sort of. I know what I want to do but I was seriously questioning what God wanted me to do. I was really questioning if I was even going in the right direction in the first place. Because as it is, my career choice at this point is a Physician assistant meanwhile, in everyday life I spend most of my time pursuing the arts. The two are pretty opposite sides of the spectrum. I keep telling people I want to enlist in the army yet I go home and write or paint or go to youth group. What I think and what I do are two totally different things.

For months this has been going on and to be quite honest, I was starting to really just feel played by God. I usually don't feel a lot of contempt in our relationship, but I was really starting to feel strung along. That was where I went wrong. I knew all along that he would eventually show me what he wanted when he wanted, but it was my job not to get mad at him for it.

In retrospect I probably didn't even pray as much as I could have... but I certainly prayed about it a lot. And it did come. Just when I wasn't demanding it.

So the time came where I was going to head off with my youth group to a volunteer event in Milwaukee on Saturday. On Thursday night beforehand I was sitting in my family room late at night. Everyone was either asleep or gone. (This is rare in my house actually... at ten at night things are still pretty active.) It was kind of a God moment actually. I was in a general mood of depression and everything was dead quiet. I looked at my phone set and stared at the blinking 'new message' light. I pressed it and it immediately blasted through the room

" Hello this is sergeant Bowden. I'm calling for Camille about the future soldier event. I know you wanted to be notified and the next one is actually this Saturday. If you are interested give me a call and I will give you the information. My number is 1 800 something something something...."

Count on god to ask you to make a quick decision. It wasn't like I had a lot of time. Because of school, I didn't give it much thought until after school on Friday. I didn't even pray about it much because I knew God wasn't going to give an obvious sign. This was a gut thing. I already knew what I was supposed to do. I wanted answers and I knew where to get them. So I called the Terrence household, told them I wouldn't be coming to the volunteer thing, and called sergeant Bowden back.

So what is an un-enlisted 17 year old doing going to hang out with a bunch of army people? You tell me. I had no idea what I was doing. I got up at six, arrived in the recruitment office at seven and took a seat next to a very Spanish looking kid and another blonde haired kid. Small talk is harder when you're not really conscious... add in the fact that you are worried about what you are getting yourself into... basically I was a combination of worried and brain dead. Those two things don't work well together.

I managed to get some conversation going in car ride there. Upon arriving at the army reserve center, the three of us were led into a classroom. The donuts helped wake us up. I'm going to skip the first four hours of the morning. They were mostly motivational speaking and testing on terrain, the phonetic alphabet and ranking. I realized how much I did not know. I also realized that I was the only person there who had yet to sign anything with the military. One other guy hadn't "enlisted" but he had just received his letter of acceptance to West Point. Same diff. sergeant Candeleria gave an itinerary for the day. Drilling, testing, PT (physical training, not therapy) first aid etc... Sergeant C wasn't too crazy about Sergeant Sereno's idea of having a live demonstration of how to insert an IV. That probably grabbed my interest the most.

Drilling came next. You know... marching. I befriended two girls who gave me a crash course in drilling. Marching isn't too bad. Left right left right left right.... not too complicated. Then came an about face, right face, left face, half face? The salute, and more terms that I can't remember. These are comically basic elements of military life, but there was no way for me to know them. After one guy came back from the testing room, no one was volunteering to go in next. Stupidly, I volunteered to get it over with. Thank you to sergeant Candelaria for being understanding. After the sergeant to whom I was assigned determined that I had no idea what I was doing, I was sent with several other people to study marching with PFC Sharp. In the end Sergeant C, just tested me separately. It was kind of nerve racking, but at the same time, I was having fun. I had always imagined this, but never imagined feeling comfortable about it even when I was obviously the rookie.

I don't come from a military family. I had some great uncles in WWII and a grandpa in the Korean War but nothing remotely military hangs in my house. My family doesn't talk about war stories. This was all new to me. While my immediate family is very pro-military, they have made it clear that they're not signing anything for me. I'm pretty much on my own.

At lunch it was surprisingly easy to start up conversation with the people I had met. Spanish kid started talking and then the Indian man next to me chimed in. we covered the basic topics. MOS (military occupational specialty) what made us join (or want to join in my case) our college plans. I asked about the first aid section. I may not know how to drill, but I love the medical stuff. No one really knew if we were going to do it so I pretty much let the day play itself out.

We practiced platoon formation and went on break. Then one of the sergeants announced that the first aid was next. I'm thinking ' yes this is my forte. Finally something that I have a basic knowledge in.' I got this much: Really Bad Boys Should Find Better Company or in other words check for these things in this order: Response Breathing Bleeding Shock Fractures Burns and... Consciousness? (I got 6 out of 7 for sure) ANYWAY. After learning how to stop bleeding and apply a tourniquet, the sergeant asked if someone wanted to learn how to insert an IV.

Oh yes. You could almost hear the crickets chirp.

I raised my hand, along with one other woman. Because the other woman was a nurse and knew what she was doing, naturally Sergeant Sereno picked me, the only un-enlisted person there.

Sereno showed me how to apply a tourniquet to his arm and I was handed a large size of gloves. An iodine and alcohol swab later, he began to explain the procedure to the company. I was just trying to find the vein. He could have been saying things about me or to me and I wouldn't have noticed. While he gave everyone the lowdown Sergeant C gave me an IV crash course under his breath. It was so quick and fast that I only grabbed some of it. Finally Sergeant C stepped back and the rest of the company gathered around.

There were a lot of nerve-racking moments that day, but that was not one of them. As I uncapped the needle I found the vein and drove it in gently. Despite the fact that the man I was administering the IV to was the same one who was walking me through the actual procedure, I still managed to mess it up and withdraw the needle to quickly. But you know, it didn't even matter because I hit the nearly invisible vein in the first place. That was enough to make me happy.

So in the end, I screwed that up too, but it occurred to me that I hadn't felt that happy or proud in a long time. I withdrew the needle all the way and handed the sergeant some paper towels to stop the bleeding. He finished up the demonstration with an overview of how to get an IV bag working. The rest is pretty uneventful.

Except for the fact that I really got the answer I was looking for. Art and music don't do it for me. I say this in the least arrogant way possible. People say I should be proud of artistic talent but it doesn't give me any sense of accomplishment and service. I love art, I enjoy art, its fun, but the army has taken me farther than any medical class and I'm not even enlisted yet. The only way kids my age have experience with needles is if they are doing drugs. You don't even get to do IVs as a CNA. You have to wait to be a nurse. And even then you try on a mannequin first. That experience has truly altered the course of my future. Sticking a needle into the arm of an official army sergeant wasn't fun in the way of painting or playing music but it was exciting. Part of me is like " I can't believe I DID that!" but it was challenging and pretty much rocked my world.

For months and months, I wanted some sort of confirmation that medicine was a better match for me than what everyone was telling me. I had a feeling but God was waiting to show me if my feeling was the thing I should follow. So, essentially, this blog is about being brave and having courage for the future, but more importantly, it's about perseverance. God does not operate like a genie. It's not a give and take situation. He wanted to see devotion in prayer. He was testing me to see if I was serious about this decision for my life and then he gave me an opportunity. My friends watched me go through some serious struggle with the issue and they waited with me for all these months. I certianly don't have it figured it out. I don't know the whens, wheres, hows. There is still a lot in question. But I do know that I'm on the right track.

Seek and you shall find
Ask and you shall receive
Knock and the door will be opened for you

God will come through

Grace,
Cami

I don't watch South Park often. Its usually loaded with sexual content and unnecessary long winded derogatory swears. However tonight I turned on a particularly interesting episode.

I know that this show makes fun of everything (including Islam but the studio wouldn't allow them to air the episode out of fear of an attack) so I wasn't particularly offended. But its still interesting to know what other people think about Christians.

So in this episode Carmen and Eric get into a fight about how to make their band go platinum. So Carmen decides that he's going to make a Christian rock band because you don't need any talent. Rewrite a bunch of old songs to be sung about Jesus stuff and then make a record. Faith+1, the band, goes to Christ fest and sells their album to all the Christians who have no musical taste.

Like I said, I wasn't offended. Maybe I should be, but the truth is so many Christian bands do stink that I can't help but laugh at the satirical exploitation of our music.

So while I'm watching this, I'm also flipping back and forth between 'The Way of the Master' one of two shows on the dorky Christian channel that I can actually bear to watch. Hosted by Cameron (Buck) from the Left Behind movie and some other Australian evangelist, The Way of the Master is a show wholly dedicated to street preaching.

Part of me is thinking. It goes in on this end and comes out on South Park. Street preaching and untalented Christian bands translates to an image of Christianity that is really unattractive. We should really get serious about cutting out the whole religion aspect of knowing God.

Another part of me is thinking. Well nobody responds to God unless you start talking about hell and sin and all the things that people hate Christianity for. Unless you get real, no one takes the time out of their day to think about spirituality. Maybe we should be speaking up more so that people start to hear.

The last part of me is thinking well maybe we shouldn't try and dress it up at all. Maybe we should stop worrying about what it looks like and start trying to get into it. Trying to breath it, need it. ... Live it.

Have you ever noticed how Christianity is always coming up with new phrases that over time just add to its overall old-fashioned image? 'Love the sinner not the sin' 'W.W.J.D?' 'Let go and let God,' and we just keep adding knew ones, ' its not a religion, its a relationship', and ' have a personal relationship with god,'

Platitudes.

I believe it was Winston Churchill who said, " together we shall rise to new platitudes," of course he meant to new levels or new heights. A simple misuse of the word paints a picture of the church today. We just keep rising to new platitudes.

C.S. Lewis does a fantastic job of laying it down without worrying about image. Lewis came on the scene before Christianity tried to blend with pop culture. It had not tried yet and had not failed yet. He confronts the idea of Jesus being portrayed as a 'great moral teacher'.

"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to" ~Mere Christianity.

There it is.
No platitudes.
No frills.
Flat out.

That is Christianity.

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A smart person once said:

Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.

Life is small. And yet the opportunity (and sometimes the burden) to make an impact is given to every living person.

So my cousins, being the guys that they are, love Marvel and anything to do with super heroes. On Friday we watched Spiderman, Saturday, Spiderman 2. Then we went to a carnival and won a Spiderman poster and a Spiderman framed picture thing. We like Spiderman.

It is the classic good verses evil story.

And throughout the first two (haven't seen the third one yet, but I'm sure it won't be long) there is a reoccurring theme of "what are you going to do with you life?". More than once the ageless phrase appears "with great power comes great responsibility". Spiderman must choose how to use his gift.

And while watching these movies, you can't help but imagine what it would be like to have the abilities of this superhero. But of course it is fictitious. Yes if I could swing from building to building, that would be awesome. However my gifts are somewhat... less impressive.

You might know where this is going. Every person is given something to work with. Some might have more gifts that others, some are more obvious. Whatever the case we are expected by others, ourselves and especially God to use them in the short time we are on earth.

In the second Spiderman movie, peter has doubted himself and he loses his abilities as well as his confidence. There is one scene where a building is on fire and peter is watching from a distance. For a split second the reflex to take off his street cloths and return to Spiderman form kicks in. but surprise, surprise, its not there. It's really in that moment that he realizes how he has failed at the responsibility that is required of him.

None of us can shoot webs from our wrists of scale upright walls, but the message remains the same. You have a finite amount of time and it is imperative that you do something with it. We are but vapors. In the grand scheme of things, we fade away. Its our decisions that last, that affect other people and ultimately have the ability to change the future after we are long gone.

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Every so often I hear people call Americans stupid. And while I agree that some of us don't care as much as we should about world affairs or that some individuals make truly dumb decisions, over all, I have to flat out disagree.

The truth is, American ingenuity is unlike any other in the modern world. Our of our nation came:

Plane
Car
Refrigerator
Computer
Internet
Phone
Radio
Microwave
Light bulb
Coffee pot
Sewing machine
Subway train
Hearing aid
Escalator
Camera
Video camera
Air conditioner
Defibrillator
Laser
Skyscraper

For more see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_american_inventions

Sounds like pretty much everything that makes today's world run, huh?

Not to mention the other discoveries like the structure of DNA, the atomic bomb, artificial heart, nuclear submarine or the fact that we were the first on the moon.

When you get down to it, the reason America has been so productive is because of the freedom it offers. In other countries the costs are either extremely high or they lack the resources.

Am I saying that America is the only country that has done anything creative? No. The Chinese are to be credited with the compass, paper, and seismograph to name a few. The locomotive really came out of England and evidence of irrigation can be found as far back as the 6th millennium BCE in Mesopotamia.

I'm not out to say that America is the image of a perfect country or that it always makes the right decisions, but stupid? I think not. Something must be said for the American dream or the coincidence that the most innovation has come out of the nation with the greatest freedoms and liberties.

That's really pretty smart.

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The entire idea of the Christian faith comes down to this point.

What can I say to make this story come alive? It has been so beaten down over the years that people have lost the ability to attach any emotion.

There are really no good words to express the gravity of this event. I can't bring myself to retell the whole story veiled in some metaphor, not today.

It will just have to be told as it is.

Back in the day, way before any Jesus appeared, god's people were required to offer up sacrifices when they made a mistake. There were all these regulations on what to offer when and all there were different sacrifices depending on how much money you had. I'll admit it's not something I have all figured out. I don't live in a day where I need to give a physical gift to earn god's honor.

That's kind of the point of this story. God decided to put an end to all the sacrifices and essentially put himself on the altar to finish it off once and for all.

How crazy is that? The person asking for a sacrifice becoming a sacrifice. That would be like if my friend borrowed a dollar for a soda and instead of me asking for it back I promised an unlimited amount of money for any soda she wants in the future.

why.

because. because he loved us. because he wanted to make a relationship with his people more accessible. because he knew that his own people would be blind to it.

when the Jews refused to believe he was their god his sacrifice was extended to the rest of the world. all 196,937,429 square miles of It. except most people could care less.

Jesus' trial before Caiaphas ended in the early hours of the morning. Then he was taken to the headquarters of the Roman governor. His accusers didn't go inside because it would defile them, and they wouldn't be allowed to celebrate the Passover. So Pilate, the governor, went out to them and asked, "What is your charge against this man?"

"We wouldn't have handed him over to you if he weren't a criminal!" they retorted.
"Then take him away and judge him by your own law," Pilate replied.
"Only the Romans are permitted to execute someone," the Jewish leaders said.
Then Pilate went back into his headquarters and called for Jesus to be brought to him. "Are you the king of the Jews?" he asked him.
"Is this your own question, or did others tell you about me?"
"Am I a Jew?" Pilate retorted. "Your own people and their leading priests brought you to me for trial. Why? What have you done?"
Jesus answered, "My Kingdom is not an earthly kingdom. If it were, my followers would fight to keep me from being handed over to the Jewish leaders. But my Kingdom is not of this world."
"So you are a king?"
"You say I am a king. Actually, I was born and came into the world to testify to the truth. All who love the truth recognize that what I say is true."
"What is truth?" Pilate asked. Then he went out again to the people and told them, "He is not guilty of any crime. But you have a custom of asking me to release one prisoner each year at Passover. Would you like me to release this 'King of the Jews'?"
But they shouted back, "No! Not this man. We want Barabbas!"

the roman leader can't find any fault in him but the Jewish people insist on killing him anyway. he was killed so that this kingdom of a different realm would be open to anyone.

anyone.

God's blood is pretty powerful. this isn't just blood of a sheep or cow in sacrifice. he took the bullet. he stood in the way of god's wrath and took it upon himself. he let his life go.

and then to make a point he came back. not to one person, to two people but to over 500 in the same day. he came back in the flesh and blood. not even death had a grip on his love.

that's some serious love.

this day is a little more than Easter eggs and candy. it about a life and death struggle over eternity and sin. It's about a dynamic man who took the blow and whose blood covered every other human being. should they choose to accept it, that other kingdom opens wide for them.

and it will rock you world.

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So I was thinking how much people need love. The kind of need that brings forth "Free Hugs" videos and the hunger for relationships.

Newsboys wrote a song once called "say you need love"

Tell me where does that get you?
When push comes to shove.
Who you gonna run to?
Turn your eyes up above.


There's more to the chorus than that, but that's enough for discussion for now.

They bring up an interesting point. Though veiled, they say that people have a hard time actually admitting they need love. Which I've seen to be true. We all act like we're ok but when you get down to it we all find ways to get the attention we need. By seeking fulfillment with some substitute god or throwing ourselves into a relationship to get love from the significant other. Or if you aren't into any of those, dragging other people down to get security or just outright bragging. The list goes on, we're practically masters of satisfying the need for love with temporary fillers.

Where does that get you?

Personally, though I'm surrounded by tons of friends and family, I often get really lonely. That's where it gets me. But so far I am unable to convince myself that a human being could actually fill the gap. Because I've tried, and as good as other people are, they fail me, and I fail them.

So then what does fill the gap...you know its coming

Turn your eyes up above

A better question might be, how does he fill the gap? My personal experience is that it's pretty hard to let god fill a gap of any kind when one doesn't talk to him. But when you do talk (and listen) things start happening, new ideas, new passions and suddenly people are noticing. But he's not filling the gap with praise from man; he's filling the gap with himself.

So do I still feel lonely? Occasionally, but its incomparable what is offered in blood over what is offered by man. God uses insecurity and hurt to set the stage for himself. Which sounds selfish in writing, but if we are holding his glory for ourselves we are doing the opposite of what we were created to do.

In all honesty it makes me sad to see so many people willing to lose themselves to gain temporary love, when there is the very creator of love willing to give himself up for us. So say you need love and where it gets you are exactly where God will be.

We all do it.

This little icon of a God. Someone who is nice, helpful, but in the end doesn't really have a grasp on what you're going through. This packagable god offers good advice but not much more. He is not big enough to be outside the problem and not small enough to go through it along side you.

Or there's the other god in a box. The package of condemnation and judgment. The one that's so far up there that he's almost cold. He doesn't hold that humanlike quality.

The two versions of this packagable God are seen by two types of people. There is one for the Christian and one for the person that doesn't believe in him. Oddly enough the Christians don't see enough of the 'big god' picture while the world only sees a high and lofty deity.

Many Christians still keep a death grip on anything they have control over. God may say no but they still have the final say. We may trust him with matters totally out of our realm but when it comes to things that we can understand we automatically take control. We put god in a box so we can take him out when we are crashing down. So we have somewhere to put him while we are behind the wheel.

Then there is the worldview of god. The side that is too busy to consider him seriously. He is up there somewhere and if you are slightly religious (to remain a well rounded person) you may pray when in a tight spot or to make sure you're clean from time to time. Other than that he is no more than a historical figure or the reason there is so much fighting.

No matter who you are you have put limits on your view of god. Fears like that of being poor or not falling in love, fears of failure and pain cause us to take our life into our own hands because god supposedly isn't big enough to handle it. Fears are like boundaries. They hold only the needed amount of god. Somehow our limited view holds more importance than his larger picture.

It's convenient to put god in a box. We then know what he will do and how he will do it. We can regulate exactly how much control we want and when we will get it. In fact it's almost like he isn't there. But by sticking our human limits on a deity we feel more like God. Pretty nice.

Until we trip.

God will still be in that box, but unless you give him your all, remove the boundaries you put on, and ask for more, that box will be how much you get.

How many times have you seen these three words on the sign outside a church?

This may be one of the greatest issues in the church. God says ' Go and make disciples of all nations,"

Read that first word again

Go

He doesn't say 'bring all the nations into the church'. Well not directly...

I think church was designed to build up the believer. To join in and talk together on one day. The church should be like a network. A web of people who spend 6 days out in the regular world and one day together regrouping, and discovering. Thinking, talking and loving.

But what happens. The church is not as close as it could be. Instead of depending on god to use them in another person's life they bring them to church. What's wrong with this picture? The world is coming into the church. The church has lost connections and therefore lost the ability to tell each other what they're doing wrong. The network gets all these gigantic holes and low and behold, god is no longer the focal point.

And when God is no longer the heart and soul, is it even church? Or is it a Christian organization?

Now am I saying we should ban all non-Christians from church? That we should stop them at the door? That we should make sure they're saved before they walk inside?

Absolutely not.

There's no reason non-Christians should feel any discontent when they come inside a church. They should not feel judged by god's people. I welcome any person who wants to come.

But in the meantime my job is to be out.

I just think that bringing a new person in to listen to a sermon can be a cheap way to witness. It depends entirely on the spiritual state of the individual. But generally a person who is totally turned against God will respond better to a genuine friendship than a sermon.

And it's not just any friendship.

It's a friendship without the expectation of a belief in Christ. The church won't like to hear that, but I know I would do a lot more damage forcing God into every aspect of a relationship than I would just following God's example of a friend. Jesus appeared live to people and they still didn't believe in him, it will be the same today. A smart person once said " your whole life should be a witness... and sometimes you'll have to use words".

The beautiful thing about church is that when everything is stripped away and God is back in the center more and more people will be coming in. I think we are hardwired to know god. Hardwired to chase him. When his presence is real people are attracted to it. And when Christians feel it they find the power to bring it out of the church and to the nations.

The very idea of spreading the word requires the action of going. The church is going, are you joining us?

In life I often have a hard time with this particular Christian cliché. Like when my teacher is weaving biased beliefs into curriculum or when my friend decides to plunge into another attempt to gain popularity and fame.

So really now, What Would Jesus Do?

Our natural answer would be well OF COURSE Jesus would talk to his friend and set him right. OF COURSE he would stand up for what he believes in. my only problem with that is that I'm pretty sure my teacher or my friend would listen to Jesus, but I know they won't take anything well from me.

This is why I find this cliché almost completely useless. I mean yes I know Jesus wouldn't smoke pot or spray pain obscene pictures on walls at school (long story) I know he wouldn't rape or brutally murder someone. That's an obvious situation. Those aren't even limited to Christianity. Those are rules set in place to preserve a normal society.

As much as I wish I was smart, a lot of the time I haven't the slightest idea what Jesus would do. Who am I to say what Jesus would do? He was GOD I'm a little person among billions.

To me the only purpose those little colored bracelets serve is to make a public statement that person is a Christian.

But really, where does one go from here? What exactly would Jesus do when relationships blow apart, when people die, when placed in the face of the unknown?

I can only think of one thing.

Prayer.

Yes here it is again. That irritating little part of a relationship than holds the entire faith walk together. That thing that so many Christians don't actually take seriously.

I want to know exactly how so many people have all the answers on 'what to do', when they have such a hard time getting personal in prayer. God is personal and he does give solutions and answers we just have an extremely hard time listening. And if we do listen we often don't expect god will carry us.

If it were up to me, the bracelet would read, " I don't know who what where when why or how Jesus would do anything but I know he will give me the answer'

But then of course you have a bracelet that reads I. D. K. W. W. W. W. W. O. H. J. W. D. A. B. I. K. H. W. G. M. T. A. ...

I may not know exactly what Jesus would do in every situation but I certainly noticed him praying a lot in the bible. I cannot offer a good piece of advice as to what Jesus would do specifically. I can only say he would seek the father.

I recently was at a prayer group with some friends. And we were praying for one of our friends who is going through some hard times. And one of the girls, god bless her soul, really just lost me in her prayer. Not because it was bad, but over and over she asked for peace and strength. Now I absolutely wish peace and strength on anyone struggling with an issue, but it kind of makes me upset. We have been given authority over our problems and yet our prayers are half hearted. Sure peace and strength are great, but it seems like in order to solve the hard times of our friend its going to take more than wishing and hoping.

A friend brought up a good point.

So there are two people and they're in a fight. Both of them have a gun and are pointing it at each other. This policeman is called onto the scene. So he walks in the door, stops, looks at the people and says 'you know what? I can see we have a problem here and I wish you the best of luck but um, I'm gonna go now. I hope you two work it out."

Of course this is highly unlikely in real life, but it's essentially what we do with prayer.

We are the policeman, we have a weapon of our own, and most importantly, we have the authority to do something. Yet we hope the problem works itself out.

So what is the outcome? Do the two people shoot each other? Or does the policeman storm in and demand that they both back down and lower their weapons saving both their lives?

The outcome depends on our faith and god's will. Yes you risk the possibility of ending up with a bullet in you yourself. In having faith you risk having God say 'no'. But so many people are afraid of the answer being 'no' that they don't put all their heart into what they are asking for.

We've been given all the authority we need and that is exactly why God wants all our heart. However much we give him is how much will change.

It seems like for all the large amounts of people that complain about televangelists, we at least should have made some points about Christianity clear. Unfortunately there is one particular myth that I hear over and over and it never cease to amaze me that how many Christians say it is false, people still believe it.

So here it is:

The amount of good deeds in my life will cover for the amount of bad ones when I stand before God on judgment day, and because I was overall a "good person" I will not be denied an eternity in heaven.

Perhaps people would like to believe that they have any amount of control over their future, that you actually have the ability to do more good than bad, or that you can redeem your soul by visits to the soup kitchen and homeless shelters. But this is in fact called karma and has absolutely no biblical groundings in the Christian faith

A friend of mine has gone to church for several years and has been influenced by many religions, including Christianity, yet I was still shocked to hear that this was their true belief of Christianity.

For the sake of argument we'll say that this was true. We really do perform more good that bad in every aspect of our life, that out entire afterlife really is dependent on if we score enough brownie points in the eyes of God, or that we really can get around the death wage on sin. There would have been no use for god coming at all. What's the point of a sacrifice if we can all redeem ourselves? There is no point.

God is not a fool. He catches the time you took advantage of a person's good nature; he sees how you used those trips to the soup kitchen to level people's opinion of your character. Sure you gave that homeless guy a dollar, but I was only because your friend was with you. I do not believe that certain good things register as bigger than lots of little bad deeds. I think if God was weighing brownie points in the first place, the volunteer work wouldn't cover for when you chose dishonesty or a grudge over forgiveness.

We tend to think of a sin as robbing a bank, raping a person, taking a life, but in fact, there is a level of everyday life in which we don't think about, that we steal, lie and cheat in.

In honor of Women's History Month I would like to say, I don't think we should have a Women's History Month.

There are certain aspects of the feminist movement that I am grateful for. I can wear jeans and become pretty much anything I want because of these people.

But pretty much everything else that came with the feminist movement, say abortion, the obsession with appearance, and the new selfish attitude, is not worthy to have its own month.

Essentially it can all be summed up by the Barbie doll. The Barbie doll is fashionable, she has the hottest boyfriend, she is never without the latest outfits complete with matching plastic shoes. She can be any thing she wants, a vet, a doctor, a journalist, a teacher, her hair is perfect, she spends her free time with skipper and ken lounging by her $20 plastic hot tub.

But conveniently, there is no janitor Barbie, no soldier Barbie, no stay at home mom Barbie. I find that interesting. The feminist movement says 'we can do anything men can!' and then you say you want to join the national guard and they ask, "why would you do that?" the truth is, the women who are hard working Americans or who choose kids over love-me careers are the ones who deserve to have a month dedicated to them. But oddly, it is the high reaching, golden-globe winning, or civil rights advocates that are featured during this month. Women who have 'made something of themselves'.

So where is Soldier Barbie, Janitor Barbie or Stay at home mom Barbie? They are making sure the economy doesn't fall apart at the seams by holding jobs. They are raising kids to not make stupid decisions; they are giving their lives so Oprah can have her TV show.

Selflessness is not building an academy in Africa in your name, (although that is over all a positive thing) selflessness is choosing a family over a high-ranking position. It's choosing not to kill your child; it's sacrificing the good name for a good future.

So unless people are willing to honor those that sacrifice in the little ways, I don't think we need a women's history month.

Last night I watched 'To Iraq and Back' about Bob Woodruff. The news anchor that received a traumatic brain injury after an IED explosion while reporting from Iraq.

So why is it that we never hear about miraculous recoveries from the press except for when its one of their own? Why is a reporter portrayed as heroic and soldiers are seen as victims?

Shouldn't it be the other way around?

You never hear about the navy SEAL who threw himself over a grenade to save 8 other people and you never hear the number of terrorists killed, but the minute a reporter is hurt everyone is all over it.

The special covered several soldiers who received a similar type of injury. The underlying theme was how so many soldiers keep coming into the hospital injured. But the only person they featured coming out of the hospital with the greatest chance of a full recovery was the reporter! How can only the reporter be making a full recovery? There have to be more soldiers that have come out ok in the end. If not in the TBI unit of the VA hospital, somewhere else. What about all the soldiers that have come back unharmed?

Or maybe the reason we don't hear about fully recovered soldiers is because they are actually back out there fighting.

Whatever the case, I think many people agree we could use some more positive feedback.

To be fair ABC did this. Their person of the week was about a Vietnam vet who volunteers to welcome soldiers home and let them know that they are appreciated. Something that was not given to Vietnam and Korea vets.

This does show that they see how they negatively impacted morale in past wars and that they are willing to give a little more credit to servicemen this time around.

The truth of the matter is if the morale of the people is not strong the terrorist groups use it to their advantage. They watch our news, they understand how we have the capability of killing ourselves from the inside out by negative coverage of the war eventually leading to a loss or a weak win. Right after bush announced more troops the amount of terrorist activity increased. They pick up on the attitude of the American people and use it to forecast how they can most effectively hurt us.

It is imperative that we offer real support to the ones overseas. They are our hands and feet. We are too far in to debate if we should be there or not. Its time to stop the internal fighting, buckle down and finish the job. The press needs to provide the public with equal amounts of info. If they tell the number of soldiers killed they need to tell the number of terrorists killed. If they have a special about injured soldiers they need to tell about the hospitals that have reopened in Iraq.

They need to report on success stories, not just when its one of their own.

ABC News

What I find to be extremely discouraging is the serious lack of patriotic feelings toward this country.

Example: nickelodeon recently aired a program about kids 'making a difference' in the world. A.K.A., joining anti-torture protests, making anti war websites, stopping government testing, fighting child labor over seas, and saving elephants from the circus.


I found validity in the argument made about sweatshops. I'd like to get that out there right away, that I'm not ok with kids working in bad conditions to make cloths. But I would really like to focus on the other four, which were loaded with liberal ideas.

The anti-torture argument confuses me. On human rights day they make a disturbing presentation about how terrorists are treated saying no human should be tortured. What then gives them the right to fly jet liners into our buildings? They can torture us, and kill us but I should feel sorry for them? I cannot do it. The program stated torture was an ineffective way to get information. I would like to state that that is completely incorrect. Watch 24.

If I were a soldier right now in Iraq, the last thing I would want to hear is how the children I protect are launching anti-war videos. As a Christian the last thing I want to hear is children putting an anti war video to the music of 'Jesus loves me'. In her ever-popular peacetakescourage.com, 16-year-old Ava makes videos and writes blogs for peace. So what would Jesus do? I am also 16. And having a personal relationship with this Jesus, I would have to say I don't think he is ok with terrorism. She also failed to mention the persecution of Christians in the Middle East.

independantconservative.com made a good point on the standardized testing. If American children are failing tests, then perhaps tutoring is a better solution than just getting rid of the tests.

And finally, the elephants. I believe humans are stewards of the earth, I believe we are expected to not be cruel to animals. I also believe that there are more important matters of life and death than elephants. Say the number of children aborted on a daily basis. A far more shocking statistic than the number of elephants injured.

The real point is this: this is the content being aired on public TV, this is the attitude of many Americans and this is the attitude we will inherit. I find this extremely depressing, that Americans forget who they are.

So what is American? Americans are creative. Out of this nation came the radio, phone, Internet, TV, the car and countless other inventions. Just recently a fireman discovered a fire retardant element in diapers nonetheless. He created a biodegradable gel, which was tested out on homes in wildfire areas and none of the houses burned.

We are certainly not the only creative people out there, but I am tired of hearing how we are stupid and lazy. But what I fear more is how that translates to weak. The more we say we are stupid, the more it will come to be true. I want the generation after me to be passing tests because they see the American dream within their grasp. I want them to care about what they have. As a people most Americans strive to be better. But equally as important as the intelligence of the American is the awesome rights that come with citizenship. Being American isn't just being part of a people with amazing resources and an amazing culture. Being American is being free.

So its time for the big A

Abortion

The New York Times took a survey recently and the results were interesting. Surprisingly, the majority of young women surveyed were pro-life.

Could this be that the women who would be pro-choice were in fact themselves aborted?

I can't help but wonder.

Over and over we hear how every life is precious. But do we think about it? Not really. What if Abraham Lincoln had been aborted? The idea is absurd. But that is a hard truth, when you kill another person you also change the future.

True, not every baby in the womb will end up in the spotlight of the world but it doesn't make a life any less valuable. Yet because our culture finds value in looking good and feeling good abortion looks pretty good to many parents.

Yet many find the emotional burden worse than having to go through childbirth.

Because most people seem to agree abortion is wrong when the mother made the conscious decision to have sex lets take a look at the worst case scenario: being raped and then having your life be put in danger because you can't handle childbirth. Granted it's most likely not your fault and sure you don't deserve to face death because of some guy's stupid decision. But I'm going to go out on a limb here and say something people hate to hear.

There is still a good reason to go through with it.

We as humans are always looking out for number one. Our safety first and then the safety of others. But the people I really admire are those who refuse to end the pregnancy under unstable circumstances. They aren't viewed as heroes even though people everyday put themselves in front of danger to save the lives of others. Yes it's not their fault but there is still a life inside the womb. I think there is still a responsibility to carry the baby through.

There is never a 100% guarantee of death. (It amazes me how much people fear death and then go weaving between cars at rush hour, over drink or do drugs.)

As for the pill, I have to say I don't like this re-occurring theme of dealing with mistakes the morning after. I don't like the idea that a good time could end up costing a life. I don't care if the embryo doesn't feel a thing; it's a cheap way of avoiding consequences.

No matter how it got there, a life is a life and only one person has the right to decide when to take it out of the world. That deity happens to know the best time for entrance and exit from the world. I think we need to leave it up to him.

In addition it is the responsibility of the Christian church to embrace those who are pregnant and unwed. If the church condemns abortion but does nothing to support those who are pregnant or who have had an abortion, they fail to follow god's example. They need to build people up because they are the force that will protect the next generation.