22... this week has been a journey to say the least, tears, smiles, hugs, laughs, phone calls, introspection. I remember there were days when I never thought I would ever say I'm 22 or even make it past 18. Thank God for the opportunity to be here and experience ALL (and that in itself is very powerful: ALL) the bad, the good, highs, lows, joys, and the pains of being comfortable in my own skin, own peace of mind, and dreams. It's just amazing! I'm slowly but surely setting realistic goals for 22 to reach for and to accomplish.

family has become a strong part of my life. honestly for so long being on my own has taught me to independent, depending solely on me but I can't be strong all by myself every day all day. there comes a certain time when i have to break down and I have to ask for help from those who love me the most. breaking down those walls have been hard but i'm letting them come down slowly on their own.

for 22 my mantra is Determination. Focus. Perseverance. Strength.

love you all
-darion

21 days until I am 22 so I'm counting down my last days of being 21 day by day through pictures, blogs, and video. We begin with one of my life defining albums. "The Miseducation of..." -Lauryn Hill. In case you need a refresher on how talented this woman is then click play.



My world it moves so fast today
The past it seems so far away
And I squeeze it so tight, I can't breathe
And every time I try to be
What someone has thought of me
So caught up, I wasn't able to acheive
But deep in my heart the answer it was in me
And I made up my mind to find my own destiny
I look at my environment
And wonder where the fire went
What happened to everything we used to be
I hear so many cry for help
Searching outside of themselves
Now I know His strength is within me
And deep in my heart the answer it was in me
And I made up my mind to find my own destiny
And deep in my heart the answer it was in me
And I made up my mind to find my own destiny

I'm gonna update my MS page again, just got too lazy to do it. But it's coming soon hopefully. I'm just out here grinding and doing me folks! Look out for some new stuff coming soon! I'm sharing some of my most intimate moments with you all...

Love y'all! Be blessed and walk in truth and sunshine :)
-d

he grabbed my hand and whispered in my ear
tell me sumin good
something i've never heard before
i flashed my pearly whites
erupting in laughter from my gut
i whispered into the night's cold air
your nose is shaped like the boat that carried our
ancestors
across the middle passage
your lips celebrate the songs they sang of
freedom
we now enjoy
your heart pumps the
blood
of the slaves throughout your body
i released his hand and dashed across the harlem avenue
looking back only to see his eyes
flicker like stars that bask in the hazy moonlight
dedicated to langston

Plan B.... the plan no one ever wants to fall back on but sometimes we have to. I guess that's what you can say I'm doing right now. Everyday it kills me a little more and more. It's really hard not to just walk away and say fuck it, take a risk, break a leg you know?  Maybe I just should. Every day it's getting harder and harder to wake up and go to this shit hole I call "work"... I agree with NAS. I feel like a fucking nigger trapped in corporate America, sucking the life out of me day to day and no matter what I do to stay motivated my job fucking sucks the pit. *continues to vent out load and stops typing* I must say honestly though the more they suck out of me the more I'm gonna continue to suck out of them. Thanks for that tuition reimbursment, PTO, and something to teach me about the stupidity of Americans lol. 

R&B singer Alicia Keys helped raise more than $40,000 for Keep A Child Alive via one of the first text message donation campaigns during a US concert tour, according to a press release.

During Keys' "As I Am" tour, the superstar took time out of each concert to show a clip from her film "Alicia in Africa: Journey to the Motherland" and encourage fans to donate $5 by text messaging the word 'ALIVE' to 90999.

The mobile giving campaign, powered by mGive, a product that allows US based nonprofits to accept mobile donations, proved to be a viable fundraising channel for Keep A Child Alive's efforts to combat the African AIDS Pandemic.

"Texting can provide a way to give at that instant when we are moved, rather than later when life takes over," Keys said in a statement.

The fundraising will continue as Keys integrates the mobile giving campaign into social networking channels including Facebook.

With over 28 million dead and 15 million orphaned, Keep a Child Alive is an urgent response to the AIDS pandemic ravaging Africa. A place where one child dies from AIDS every minute.

21 years old and damn growing up seems like a challenge everyday, there always seems to be something new to learn, experience, certain expectations to meet and always a positive buried even beneath the most negative of circumstances. '08 I've done a lot of growing within myself and in my outwardly self also. Here in the seventh month of the year I just sit back and reflect on everything this year: the good and the bad. They all have influenced me and the person that I am. Learning patience has been one of my hardest lessons to learn apart from letting GO and letting GOD. Those are my two lessons of 2008 and those things that constantly challenge my personal development on a daily basis but I'm up for the challenge. 22 will be here before I know it in August and then the years will keep on rolling by...

I'm amazed at how many people actually read these blogs I sit and write. I've been blogging since blogging became popular back when I was 12, designing lil' web sites here and there so blogging is nothing new but sometimes it still amazes me the people i get messages from and that I run across on a daily basis. Thanks for all the love!

CROSSroads... I really feel at this point I'm at the fork in my life for mediocrity. Moving back to Jacksonville wasn't a bad idea but I still don't want to get myself caught up in the rut either by becoming content and complacent. At the same time though as well I look at it on the other end with modeling as something that I've worked and continue to work so hard for that if I was somewhere besides Jacksonville then maybe something different would pop up. In the same breath there are so many other things that I LOVE to do: acting, dancing, song writing, music... Just so many things that I want to do and explore before I leave this earth that I have to learn to juggle them all or devote the same amount of time to each. But that makes the reward in the end even sweeter because everything in my life I've had to work for and nothing was just given to me so I can be proud of all those achievements that have come my way. Blood, sweat, and tears most definitely. SO here I sit at the CROSSroads waiting to make the next move in my life and praying to GOD that its the right one.

i swiped this from one of the best photographers I've been blessed to work with Nick Zantop. google him and show him some love

Ego is a bit like oil - it fills every crack and crevice of this line of business we know as the fashion industry. Most of the time it keeps things running smoothly, but sometimes it gets out of hand and overflows those cracks and makes quite a mess.

Ego is the stuff necessary for success, but as with most good things - too much can cause problems. Ego is essentially self confidence, self esteem...a feeling of self importance.

With thousands of amazing designers, fantastic photographers, wonderful stylists....sometimes the only thing which can propel someone out of the crowd and into the spotlight...is a feeling of self importance, translated into a marketing strategy. Success rarely comes to those who simply wait for it; it comes to those who seize it, to those who want it badly and believe in themselves. Marketing is entirely about ego - if you don't believe that you are the best, how can you possibly convince others that you are? No doubt almost everyone in this line of work has seen a photo in a magazine and thought to themselves about the photography or the styling or any aspect of the photo…"I could have done that so much better." Quite possibly so…but the point is – the people involved in that photo marketed themselves effectively by believing in their abilities. Their talent played only a part, and perhaps not even a big one, in securing that particular job.

So many simply wait...and wait...expecting to one day be recognized for the work that no one knows they are doing. It's not because they lack talent or skill that success is usually very slow in coming; it is because of a lack of self esteem and confidence. For many, it is a fear of rejection that keeps their ego hiding away in some deep, dark corner. Rejection is a big part of working in the fashion industry - in an industry based entirely upon superficial elements for which appreciation is entirely subjective...it would be impossible to please everyone. Few stories of success in the industry come without at least a few tales of rejection.

Ego is the heartbeat that keeps a person going after being rejected; the voice that whispers, "No matter what they say, you are the best." It is what keeps people from retreating even farther into that deep, dark corner. Rejection is not a pleasant thing for anyone, but it is important to keep in mind that it's just fashion. It may be our life's work, our true calling...but it is still just fashion. Lives are not at stake, and while tears may be shed...we are not fighting on a battlefield or working to cure cancer. Our work is not pointless, because it is what we love - but it is just fashion...so lighten up and smile.

Clearly ego is important - it gives the strength needed to continually push for success. When one thinks of ego in the fashion industry, negative thoughts immediately come to mind...and for good reasons. As much good as a healthy ego can do for a persons success, an over inflated ego can do just as much damage, and there are more than a few over inflated egos on the loose in our line of work. There is a time and a place for self confidence. When meeting a client, when giving a presentation, when showing your line to a potential buyer...a healthy amount of ego is a good thing. It says that you believe in what you are selling and that you will stand behind your work with pride. Confidence, not cockiness is the key.

Unfortunately, many allow their ego to take over every aspect of their life. They become cocky and self-consumed around their friends and colleagues. They continuously brag about their successes and embellish the truth. We all know people like this, and being around them is rarely pleasant. The trick to having a profitable business life and an enjoyable private life is knowing when to turn the ego on and off. Friends and colleagues - social equals - have little interest in hearing a continuous promotional speech about someone's greatness. When with friends and those who share the same profession…a little humility goes a very long way.

Too little ego, and one finds themselves unable to make the contacts necessary to push their career forward. Too much ego, and one finds that they are inadvertently alienating themselves from everyone they meet. It's the healthy balance in between these two extremes that brings success.

There's an eclipse in your eye where I used to shine
Every secret untold is a planet aligned
Don't need prophets or preachers to make sense of the signs
when the buried and hidden can be seen by the blind

You're right
Some words are best unspoken
So right
Then it all just falls apart-
the day I break your heart

I caught my reflection
in the corner of your eye
You said don't even ask the question
and I won't tell the lie
When there's no accusations
there's no need for denial
If you hadn't heard that whisper
there'd be no need to wipe tears from your eye

The six month of this year. Amazing. I'll be back here in Jacksonville officially for a year in another two months. What a year this one has been back "home". I no longer look at Jacksonville as a detour to my dreams but quite possibly just a stepping stone on to the path of something even more great in my future. Almost like the star I wish I could touch when i stand on my tip toes and reach my hand up towards the sparkling in the twilight. Hmm... maybe one day I will finally touch the star.

NYC. June 27th. The city I've dreamed of running away to every day since I was sixteen. This is my second trip since last year and magical things always happen when I touch down so I'm definitely looking forward to them. I've got some dope shoots lined up so be on the lookout for them.

falling in love with a daydream. I'm still working hard on my baby to get it out there to the public but I've been having a few server issues lately and personal things to handle so it's being delayed for awhile. :(

otherwise work and school both are invading most of my time and trying to see all my children as much as possible. ayanni, my beautiful niece, nephew, and god son. and the lil' one on the way from d. smith the supermodel. they allow me to explore truly what unconditional love is in the intangible form. i love you all.

one word: luther. if ever there was an inspiration for my love of music then just take a listen to '''for you to love''. so simple and so effortless. no over singing just pure emotion. i guess being in love will make you feel this way, true love one day quite possibly. right now im in love with life and making a career in something i truly love with every fiber in my being. im definitely looking forward to those years, those moments and memories. thats what makes my heart beat. i was recently asked why am i single? ive been asked that so many times but i think i answered honestly enough. did i?

Meagan Goode has an amazing article in Sister 2 Sister Magazine, a very inspirational piece and left me with a smile on my face so go cop the mag!

Also Lyfe Jenning's new album is in stores, Usher on Tuesday... Black Music Month is coming up in June so go out and support our community or the African American community I should say if you don't have a drop of black n ya! (lol) Especially those artists talking about more than sex, shakin ya ass, fuckin/suckin/lickin/robbing/freaking/sleeping/creeping/cheating/dealing... okay i got carried away. Anyway, I've got some amazing updates coming music wise in June so be on the lookout for those. I'm excited already :)

Speaking of June, NYC here we come. Got some hot shit lined up and actually taking time out to smell the roses this time in the big apple. We shall see! I'ma get a digital camera by then so it's all good.

Today what's on my plate? Going to a BBQ, missed my best friend's yesterday since I slept all day but I'ma get some food today hopefully and just enjoy the company of friends. I can't complain when I don't have to work! That's never a bad thing.

Darion-tariq.net is back up, gotta add some content to the site and change some stuff around as well as the gallery so be on the lookout.

Everyone enjoy your day and don't forget the things that are the most important in life, okay?!

Much Love
-dtq

AIDS Warriors
A pioneering city in AIDS research, Washington, D.C., is ground zero for AIDS outbreaks. With infection rates in the nation's capital now the highest in the country, health care workers have become foot soldiers in a battle to save Black women's lives
By Donna M. Owens

aids test
Credit: Family & Medical Counseling Service, Inc.

Torena White is pacing the sidewalk outside the Woodland Terrace housing project in southeast Washington, D.C., calling out to anyone who crosses her path. In her baggy jeans, sneakers and black leather jacket, White might be mistaken for one of the residents hustling drugs in this notoriously rough inner city neighborhood. But the 40-year-old is actually a health care worker, whose only street game is trying to stop the disease from spreading.

"Want to get tested? We're doing HIV tests today," she says, gesturing toward a makeshift clinic inside a nearby rec center, where her outreach team has set up tables with instant test kits. Her smile is warm, her voice friendly. "Come on in! We can hook you up with a test for free."

One of countless foot soldiers on the front lines of what a local health official has dubbed a "modern, large and diverse epidemic," she knows what is at stake. Simply put, D.C. now has the highest infection rate in the country. A November 2007 health department report showed that one in every 40 D.C. residents is thought to be infected with either HIV or AIDS. Enter workers like White, among the team of doctors, social workers and outreach advocates at Family & Medical Counseling Service Inc., a community-based health care agency in the heart of D.C.'s Anacostia community.

"About 55 percent of our caseload is African-American women, most between the ages of 39 and 45," says Angela Fulwood Wood, a social worker who is Family & Medical's deputy director. "Many of the women we see were diagnosed after a history of injection drug use or multiple sexual partners," she says. "But increasingly we're seeing women who have contracted this from heterosexual relationships with men."

Inside the cramped offices that Family & Medical occupies on Martin Luther King Jr. Avenue, medical director Veronica Mapp-Jenkins, M.D., chats with one of her longtime patients. Carole, 48, was diagnosed with HIV 11 years ago. "At first I was in denial. I didn't want to deal with the sickness and pain," says Carole, a pretty woman with smooth skin who once had a crack addiction. "But I have been coming here for ten years, and let me tell you, they are miracle workers."

On any given day, some of the 75 Family & Medical workers can be found traveling the region in a Winnebago that serves as a mobile clinic, visiting jails, churches and festivals—anywhere they can reach people.

Back at the housing project, several teenage boys, who should probably be in school but are hanging out instead, follow White inside and ask for condoms. One brags about needing "a whole box." Another wants the "super" size. White tells them if they agree to be tested, she'll throw in a $5 gift card for groceries. One baby-faced young man, only 17, is game. Twenty minutes later, results from the instant test kit are back, and the teen learns his status: He is HIV-free. The advocate notes how deeply personal this fight is. "This issue captured me," White says. "If we can really reach people, if we can get them tested, maybe we can save them."

- essence.com

crown royal on ice, crown royal on ice
crown royal on ice, crown royal on ice

Jill Scott

Darion-tariq.net is back up folks!!!! A lotta sweat and tears went into this layout so go check me out and bookmark this go 'round.

If Jill hasn't been walking around in my mind with this last album, I must applaud my north philly sister for an amazingly incredible album. Jill sang me to sleep during my afternoon nap and I woke up with her running through my mind. I've had this album on repeat ever since I re downloaded "The Real Thing" this morning. I'm gonna buy the album but for now I'm good with this rocking me away to sleep...

Today is a cleaning day... Cleaning my life, my room, and my mind. I had a real good day... very good. Got some pictures printed for my book so I'm ready for NYC in June. June 27th I'm touching down and running full force! I've got some tricks up my sleeve and I'm crossing my fingers for someone special I wanna work with :) We will see how it all pans out this time. I'm really excited for the trip! *screams at the top of my lungs and beats chest like Tarzan*

If I could turn back

The hands of time

Make you fall in love

In love with me again

So would you give me

Another chance to love

To love you

Love you the right way

No games



Got 'till it's gone

Got 'till it's gone

Janet




I love this video... So many beautiful faces that like just like me :) So rare an occasion to see so many beautiful dark skinned black faces in one place. I love my heritage and embrace it in totality :)

15. what a pivotal age in my life... what a journey i've made in 7 years. there's so much more out there and yet so much i haven't seen. i am really scared but i'm ready. change. 6 letters... man. 7 a number of perfection. amazing. atiny word but yet so heavy. change. i'm ready to change

sometimes when i lie down
i hear you...
whispering in my ear
saying "follow your dreams"
i know you're always with me

Always With Me ... written in '03

i wrote that song when i was fifteen, seven years later what does that song mean to me? Always with me was a pivotal time in my life... hell, 15 was the turning point in my life... most of them have been the odd numbers in my life... 13, 15, 17, 19, 21... now that i think about it, kinda scary but that's life.... But the meaning of the song is still so relevant to my life, my everyday outlook on life. it's amazing the growth from then to now... listening to that song and listening to some of the demos from falling in love with a daydream amazes me at times. i read in an interview with Gwen from V magazine that writing songs is like "magic"... never thought about it in that light but honestly it is...

something/bout/the/way/you/smiled
when/your/eyes/met/mine
i/can't/deny
we/were/frozen/in/time

drifting away in a sea of fantasies
taking over me like the waves to the sea
i'm the sand and you're the ocean
and i try to swim and save myself but i'm frozen...

i'm drowning inside of you
like my head's underwater
don't try to save me with your life jacket...

Life Jacket (underwater) ... written in '08

i'm gonna do more writing this year... Ken Lewis watch out cause i'ma harass you... more dancing, more acting... i'm gonna switch my focus... model still, but branch out and see more of this place we call Earth... i'm excited for Summer 2008... and Spring '09... gotta have goals and work towards them. It's gonna be fun!

maybe it's me, just me being the hopeless dreamer that I am that has me reaching out there for something in the distance... i feel it :) but i'm holding it inside!

i'm so glad i talked to her today... memories of little boy

something has got to give here... it's just not gonna work although folks say that I shouldn't complain but hey i can and i will...

Jensen :) Thanks!