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The meek shall inherit the earth. ...but God never accounted for the mighty

Thursday, November 12, 2009 

Current mood:  bummed
Category: Life
Did you know that 99% of species that ever existed on this planet is extinct? Feel special now?

Why are there 1,000 different versions of CSI? Do they share a common plot?

In terms of members, Catholicism dwarfs Protestant-ism? (is there a term I'm forgetting?)

Spears are great for stabbing things at a considerable distance while maintaining a good defense.

Is blood that hasn't been oxygenated really blue?

Antichrist Superstar is actually one of my favorite albums. It's so damn good.

Let's play a game. Finish this sentence: "It would be awesome if Oprah was hit with a ____________" Free hugz for best response.

-J.K.
Currently listening:
Antichrist Superstar
By Marilyn Manson
Release date: 1996-10-08
Friday, April 03, 2009 

Current mood:  breezy
Category: Life
I officially want Rock Band more than ever. I just found out that "Best Day Ever" from the Spongebob Squarepants movie is downloadable.
This is truly the best day ever.
Here's a small poem:
"I think I fall in love too easy
I think I give my heart too freely
All those pretty girls, they own me

I met you only yesterday
I think we should wed anyway
That is, if I had my say"
Have a nice day.
Currently watching:
The Last House on the Left
Release date: 2002-08-27
Thursday, April 02, 2009 

Current mood:  groggy
Category: Life
The title of this blog is 34 because brads cat jumped up on my laptop and hit those two specific keys.
It seems so insignificant... but it's not. Nothing is. Every single, tiny, stupid thing that happens to a person is somehow important in an odd way.
When you really think about it a lot of trivial stuff goes a long way in determining how we feel; our mood. Our outlook on life.
Sigh.
What am I doing up this late?
Currently listening:
You'll Rebel to Anything
By Mindless Self Indulgence
Release date: 2008-01-22
Saturday, February 07, 2009 

Category: Blogging
well i'm very cold except for my waist becaue of the laptop. i'm up really early... what the fuck. its either i cant sleep or i sleep too much i ate a lot of pizza last nigth adn it was very good geez i realy like that cheese stuff i alos like how bad i am at typing especially when i'm not looking. i feel like i misspell simple words more often thn bigger ones lets go back into the past mani was a loser i don't understand how i worked back then i had these crazy perceptions of everything and i often puposely ignored reality but reality is subjective i suppose so whatever i make mine will be mine regardless of its accuracy it kinda reminds me of religion in a way it doesn't make any sense to follow those fairy tales now but my god i suppose pople need someting to cling to in an insane world well at least insane to them most cant wrap their mind around what it means to be mad becuaee it seeems that everyone i smad and thats the big secret there i gave it away now give me a cookie ben gave me a sketch of asuka langley sohryu today and i love it i wonder what i'll wear todayi wonder what i'm even doing today i wonder when mojack is going to get online i woner when i'm going to eat something becuse i feel very hungry but i think i'm more tired right now for some reason i wonder why i think this helps i wonder if i'll ever be sane and happy because for some reason adn even in my head i can't stop questioning myself and everything i do i'm warmer now and it feels better but its made me more tired............................................
Monday, December 22, 2008 

Current mood:  apathetic
Category: Writing and Poetry

Onlookers gasped in horror as the train, screaming down the tracks, bore down on the boy sprawled out on the cold metal. The conducter pulled the brakes as hard as he could but there was too little time. The boy managed to get back to his feet as a blinding light illuminated his face. The train struck him, whipping his head back and sending his body sailing into the inky darkness of the tunnel. Nobody dared to move.

"Whaaaa..."

"Sniff... whaaa"

The sounds of a baby crying we're lost to the crackling and popping of fire. Suddenly there was a loud, harsh screech. The steel frame above the car seat snapped in two. A set of gloved hands hoisted the child out of the burning car and into darkness. There were flashing red and blue lights. The baby cried and whined ceaselessly. He wanted his mother. The child opened his eyes and scanned the scene. The lights we're dancing in the night sky. A beautiful, young woman with long black hair and deep hazel eyes was standing beside the burning car. She didn't seem to notice the raging fire burning inches from her soft face. The child whined louder as if to get her attention. The woman looked at the child, puzzled. The baby boy reached out to the woman. He curled his fingers and squirmed in the rough, gloved hands.

The boy woke to find himself being hoisted over a man's shoulder and carried out of the dark tunnel. Was he dead? He couldn't tell. He couldn't move; he couldn't feel. He saw the sad faces of the onlookers and a young boy sitting beside the tracks crying and screaming. He didn't feel the belts strapped around his chest, waist and legs as he was hastily lain onto a gurney and carried through the brightly lit tunnels, hurrying by the colorful ghosts of the subway and out into the rain towards red and blue lights.

Then he saw a woman. She seemed as familiar as family but he wasn't sure he'd ever seen her before. Her long, black hair waved gently in the breeze as if the rain couldn't touch it.

The boy stared at the ceiling of the ambulance. The curious woman was sitting beside the two medics who had their full attention on the boy. They asked him questions like: "what's your name?", "how old are you?", "where do you live?" but he couldn't make his mouth move. The strange woman's eyes were fixed on him. She stood; the medics didn't seem to notice her presence. She moved directly over where he lie and spoke, eyes transfixed on the bewildered patient.

"This will all be over soon, Alexander."

She bent slowly and kissed Alex on the forehead. Her lips were warm and soft. And then, bubbling over the ecstasy, a terrible pain ran through his entire body, knocking him unconscious.

"Hello Alex..."

"Wake up, Alex."

Alex woke up and found himself floating in what seemed to be puffy, black clouds. He touched a mass of this black material and found it to be solid. He scooped up some of the cloud and played with it in his hand. It was like soft marshmallows. He let the strange blob slip from his hand and watched it slowly float down into the darkness.

"Alex" a voice spoke in front of him. The mysterious woman walked towards him in the distance. "Yeah?" Alex responded after a moment. The woman did not respond and kept walking toward him. "Where am I?" Alex asked as innocently as he could. The beautiful woman responded quickly: "Nowhere, Alex." Alex didn't ask anymore questions and remained quite. The woman kept staring into Alex's eyes. The air was thick.

"Alex, you're nervous."

"Yeah, a bit I suppose."

"Why?"

Alex thought about this. Why was he so nervous? It could be because the woman standing before him was the most gorgeous creature he'd ever seen. Even more so the fact that she seemed very interested in him.

"Umm... I don't know. A lot of weird stuff has happened in the past few hours."

Alex thought about it.

"First I was knocked onto train tracks and now I'm floating around in a ghost world..."

Lost in thought, Alex began to play with the odd black clouds again.

"Alex, listen to me" the woman said breaking the uncomfortable silence that seemed to always appear when he spoke to girls.

"I am not of your world. I harvest the souls of the dead and transport them to the realm of spirts"

"So you're the grim reaper?" Alex responded.

"Yes, I suppose I am but I would prefer Harvester."

"Where's your scythe?" Alex said almost without thinking.

The Harvester smiled. "I have no use for one, Alex."

Alex chuckled at all those ill-conceived notions of what Death could possibly look like.

"You were expecting a skeleton in a cloak?"

"Yeah" Alex laughed "so am I dead?"

"No, Alex." Harvester said reassuringly. "You are very much alive."

Alex didn't feel very alive.

"Right now," Harvester continued, "you are in a place I created."

She raised her arms and rose from their resting place

"Your body is resting peacefully in a hospital back in your home realm." She motioned upward to Alex. He began to float up with her.

"However, your mind is right here with me in my realm."

They both stopped.

"Why am I here, Harvester?" Alex asked.

"Because you are needed, Alex. Something is very, very wrong and I know that only you have the means to make things right again." Harvester floated gracefully through the strange black clouds.

Alex considered this for a moment. He was needed? Why now? After 17 unremarkable years of living. He pondered what he could possibly fix.

"Alex," Harvester spoke softly "you shouldn't doubt yourself." She moved closer to him in the blackness. Alex spent a few seconds admiring her form.

"Are you sure you have the right person?" Alex said, doubting himself very much.

"Yes. I am certain."

Harvester continued up through the clouds. Alex followed closely. They wove through the clouds and rose higher into the inky darkness. He wondered what was happening back in the real world. Harvester said he was in a hospital, probably the big one downtown. His aunt was sure to be there. Alex's aunt was a widow whose husband had died around the time Alex was born. Her husband had returned from a major foreign conflict and quickly became very sick. Even though the sickness took a lot from him Alex's aunt had once said their final days were happy.

Alex began to move around more freely in the clouds. He realized that he could control his speed and pitch. Harvester stopped and looked down at him, weaving and spinning through the black clamor.

"Alex, look up" Harvester spoke suddenly. Alex stopped quickly and looked up. Tiny rays of light were cutting through the canopy of darkness up ahead.

"It's almost time for us to leave this place." Harvester moved back down to Alex who was still watching the lights.

"Alex, you were supposed to die today but I prevented that." Alex felt a chill. He never thought he would face death so young.

"You have talents unknown to you. In time you will discover them and master them." She paused and scanned Alex's face; he seemed deep in thought.

"First, I must explain our situation" Harvester said as she turned and scooped up some black material from a passing cloud. She let it float out of her hand and, curiously, it hovered completely still in front of her, defying the lazy motion which dominated everything else. The puffy ball began to contort and stretch until it settled into a large sphere. "Like I said before, there is something wrong with your world: too many people are dying."

Alex had noticed, to a degree, that the headlines were much too often peppered with news of murder, suicide, and mysterious deaths.

"Yeah..." Alex said, distant. It felt as though the world as of late was covered in a suffocating shroud. Government was in a state of negligence with most senators and congressmen rarely showing up for work. The courts were at critical mass. New murder trials popped up daily and very few were ever resolved within a year. The president spent the majority of his time at his complex in Arizona, completely ignoring his executive duties. Religious fanatics were claiming the "end was near" and it wasn't uncommon to see large groups of people outside newspaper buildings and government offices holding signs that read "Repent Now!"

"Much like your world," Harvester continued, "My world is governed by certain laws." Harvester paused and examined the sphere further. "There has to be a balance, life and death. One is no greater than the other." She seemed please with her creation. You couldn't guess from her face, she still wore a blank mask, but Alex was sure of her pride. Harvester continued: "Each realm is governed by a force. Life and creation exist here, as death and destruction rule your world. The souls you see all around you once resided in flesh, and each one has a story to tell." Alex felt overwhelmed. Was he the first one to hear these words?

"I can only collect the departed spirits" Harvester said, arousing Alex's attention once more. "I have no means of communing with them." Harvester looked up at the beams of light dancing above them. "But I believe you can" she said returning her gaze to the boy. "The black clouds wandering around here are spirits" Once again Alex chuckled at human conceptions of spirits and souls. He now felt a tinge of guilt for disturbing the celestial bodies. Harvester spread her arms out as if to offer the spirits to Alex. "This is your test: find the sphere I created." Alex winced. "If you grope around in the dark by yourself you'll never find the sphere. You'll have to ask the spirits for help." Harvester faded into the hazy darkness and left Alex alone in an unfamiliar world.

(C) Jon Chrisawn

 

[Notes: due to myspace's strange blog formatting, all of my single link breaks have became double line breaks and have spaced out everything strangly. Just bear with me here...]

Currently listening:
The Black Parade Is Dead
By My Chemical Romance
Release date: 2008-07-01
Saturday, December 20, 2008 

Current mood:  excited
Category: Writing and Poetry

The sidewalk was slick with water. People in cloaks carrying umbrellas walked hurriedly down the thin lanes. A boy called Alex, cloaked in his hood, and a few others broke away from the swiftly moving group and stepped cautiously down the stairs to the subway. After reaching the dry tunnel they continued on briskly. A normal day. Alex purchased a pass and stepped through the metal grating. Alex descended another staircase into the tunnels below. The subway was a different world: a world underground. It had it's own smell, people, and atmosphere. A world within a world. Grafitti decorated the walls of the tunnel and created a map of colors and a mixture of ideas that one could ponder upon for hours. Alex often wandered through the subway and studied the fascinating paintings. He thought of them as the spirits of the underground. Each vibrant piece flowed and ebbed along the brick walls like a rainbow-colored moss. As Alex stepped closer to the platform he heard the sound of metal grinding on the rails of the subway.The monotomy of daily life had conditioned him to ignore such a sound and it quickly washed out of his mind. Alex approached the yellow line at the end of the platform and waited impatiently for the subway car. The thick yellow line was a suggestion of safety and an assurance that no harm would befall you if you remain behind it. Alex, remainded behind the line and waited still. He felt an elbow dig deep into his side. He let out a short cry and stumbled over the yellow line, losing his balance on the edge of the platform. He heard the sound again, the shrieking of metal, but this time the sound was different. He heard the gears of his fate turning.

(C) J.K. Chrisawn

[notes: This is the third or fourth (I can't remember...) rewrite of this particular part. Needless to say, I've had a hard time with it... : ) However, this is the strongest yet.]

Currently listening:
The Black Parade
By My Chemical Romance
Release date: 2006-10-31
Friday, December 12, 2008 

Current mood:  awake
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
What do you think happens when you die? Is that it? Are you gone forever? I want to know what you think.

What happens to your consciousness? Will your consciousness triumph over death? Or does your consciousness just disappear with your life?
Currently playing:
Grand Theft Auto IV
Release date: 2008-04-29
Thursday, December 11, 2008 

Current mood:enclosed
Category: Life
I love the night. At night I'm alone. I'm not lonely, just alone. I can sit in my room in complete silence. I can surf the web, write, play video games, rest, whatever.I feel enclosed and protected by darkness. I have a lamp that I usually keep on and a, usually just half-full, cup of water. I have my actions figure, a rug, and a soft mat.

I keep my headphones on at night.

I haven't a clue why I felt I needed to write this.
Currently playing:
Final Fantasy
Release date: 2007-06-26
Thursday, December 04, 2008 

Current mood:  enlightened
Category: Writing and Poetry
Faith is a strange thing. Faith is believing something that can't possibly be proven, or in spite of evidence to the contrary. Some think faith as unshakable loyalty to a god. To others faith just determines the amount of trust one has in another person's word. There's a lot of things we call "faith" but I'd like to write about my personal experience with faith and how it is applied today.

I was raised in a family where church was just something you did on Sunday. It was more about community and friendship, I think, then allegiance to a god. Every Sunday my family would attend the Baptist church below our house. My family had a history with this church, with many of my family members involved with its construction, demolition, renovation, etc. My family was a pretty big part of the church. I enjoyed, for the most part, attending church when I was younger. I had friends I only saw there and we usually had interesting discussions. Faith wasn't very important to me. I didn't pray often, I didn't feel any sort of conviction to a higher power. My conviction lied with my friends and teachers. I believed God might have been out there; but I seemed to be missing out on feeling the "Holy Spirit" as so many claimed. Apparently, God would speak to me when the time was right.

As I got older I kept going to church, often on my own accord. It didn't take long for me to realize that I didn't have much faith left. God went from being something that was there to something that may be there. Sometimes I was scared into begging God for forgiveness but minus that I really didn't think about it. I read and interpreted parts of the bible for myself and often voiced my own opinions, which were often strange but completely plausible. I remember finding some stories to be excellent and uplifting and others horrifying and deranged. I began wondering why God, if he even existed, would allow such things to be taught in his churches? I believe that was the precise moment when I decided nothing in the bible is literal. Was Jonah actually swallowed by a fish? I didn't think so anymore. The fact that, in the story, Jonah remained in the fish for three days, signaling the resurrection of Jesus Christ, seemed to indicate the story was merely a masterful use of foreshadowing.

I became disenchanted. I saw "my fellow Christians" doing horrible things all over the world. I saw bigotry, suppression, and ignorance abound, even in my own church. This wasn't the work of the God I had read about. This was the work of man. Faith had brought with it hatred, oppression, war, fights, and all manner of ill things upon everyone. God was the authority and justification was easy. There were personal wars and vendettas held even in my own church. I bore witness to bitter struggles between families and friends. How could something as empowering as faith become a trebuchet of war? Eventually I grew disgusted and just gave up. This was the final blow to my faith.

Today religion is defined moreso by what it doesn't believe in rather than what it does. Faith is at war with homosexuality, abortion, and even interracial marriage. Faith is the guns of the believers. This is disgusting. Faith has been twisted into a sword, when it was intended a shield. Faith is a fortitude, a sanctuary, and an inner peace; it is not a call to arms as so many believe today. Goddamn what those call faith today.
Currently listening:
Idlewild
By OutKast
Release date: 2006-08-22
Thursday, December 04, 2008 

Current mood:  mellow
Category: Music
...they really don't. Fish don't have any good metal to listen to. Hm... sad.
Currently listening:
Tokyo Warhearts: Live
By Children of Bodom
Release date: 2008-04-29
J.K. Chrisawn

Johnny Chrisawn


Last Updated: 11/16/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 20
Sign: Cancer

City: Burnsville
State: North Carolina
Country: US
Signup Date: 8/31/2005

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