Top 25 Fundie quotes.

These were taken from a collection at www.fstdt.com. Please note that they have been edited for grammar in some instances, such as adding missing punctuation, correcting spelling and capitalizing the beginnings of sentences to make reading them more tolerable.

25. So, instead I put a copy of a Jack Chick tract in her locker about how wicca and a paganism lead to murder, rape and other horrible things because it lets the devil get inside of you.

24. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldn’t change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are.

23. Your opinion as a homosexual is worthless. You are engaging in criminal, abnormal and sociopathic behavior and have no credibility. You need to be institutionalized in a facility for the criminally insane.

22. So you think if no one believed in any religion there would be no wars or fighting? I think it would be worse. I know if I didn’t fear god’s judgment i would have killed many many times.

21. I often debate with evolutionists because I believe that they are narrowmindedly and dogmatically accepting evolution without questioning it. I don’t really care how God did what He did. I know He did it.

20. No doubt someone will object, saying something obviously ridiculous like, but atheists are persons. But clearly this is mistaken because anybody without a well developed belief in God is obviously not a full human person.

19. Looking on nakedness is a shameful and intolerable thing. And most employment for doctors and nurses requires looking on other people’s nakedness.

18. If u have sex before marriage then in God’s eyes u are married to that person. If a man rapes a woman in God’s eyes they are married; it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol.

17. If we did evolve from monkeys then how come babies aren’t born monkeys?

16. Satan loves homosexuals.. And will usually set them up with good careers in something Satan is in control of i.e.. Entertainment.. any form of the Media.

15. Evolutionists put their faith in natural selection, which has never even been tested. Evolutionists put their faith in flawed dating techniques. Evolutionists put their faith in the hopes that humans are actually apes. Evolutionists put their faith in the hopes that a monkey can morph into a human simply by hopping down from tree branches and walking out into wide open spaces.

14. True Christians should only read English.

13. Several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. Oh wait that’s right. Monkeys don’t live several million years.

12. If the Bible is wrong when it tells us it is infallible, then it contradicts itself. If it contradicts itself, then it is unreliable. If it is unreliable, then our faith is totally shattered and Christianity is a lie. You need to seriously reconsider your logic.

11. It looks like to me God also had mercy on Steven Hawking. God allowed/gave him ALS when he was 21 to get his attention. It didn’t work. Looks like Hawking will go to to Hell too.

10. Secular music is my drug and when I listen to it (like right now), I’m showing personal defeat.

9. If you mean that men have ever been animals you are 100 percent wrong. No evidence under the sun can prove that I was ever my pet cat.

8. You are banned. You are not a Christian for Christians don’t accuse brothers and sisters in Christ of being non-Christian.

7. I know that some of the times when I was right in the very act of looking at, not pornography, but lingerie ads or some of those things, my wife would run down the stairs because she had just had a dream where she’s being chased by Satan and she couldn’t find me in the dream to protect her. I really think that the effects of my sin were causing my protection to be taken off of her.

6. A woman wants to abort a rape child? She should have thought of that before she walked down that dark alley without a male presence, not to mention she should have thought before putting on revealing attire.

5. A man can have sexual pleasure from a child as young as a baby. However he should not penetrate; sodomizing the child is OK. If the man penetrates and damages the child then he should be responsible for her subsistence all her life. This girl, however does not count as one of his four permanent wives. The man will not be eligible to marry the girl’s sister.

4. Me and like-minded Christian students are trying to organize a mock stoning of openly gay students at our campus.

3. Masturbation can sometimes be wrong and it can sometimes not. If you masturbate thinking about how pretty the flowers are and how you want a puppy, essentially that’s not wrong.

2. If she was in fact raped, she must play the hand that was dealt to her, accept it as God’s Will, and raise the interracial baby as her own.

1. Seriously, does anybody ever cry at an Atheist’s funeral?

It is now precisely one day until my birthday, where I will turn 25 years old, or a quarter of a century.  I like the age of 24, because it is an easier number to rhyme with. 

I feel really bad, since I've been slacking off on this blog, because of my blogger one.  I don't think you can actually hug a blog.  I'm not sure the blog would be comfortable with that.  If a blog tried to hug me, I'm sure there would be that awkward pat on the back thing.

Life is good for the most part.  I get distracted a bunch these days, but not in the shiny keys and quarters way, more like discovering Web 2.0 distracted.  Damn you, internet.  I hate you because I love you.

If my life is a mixture of the motion pictures "Sweet Home Alabama", "Travolti da un insolito destino nell'azzurro mare d'agosto", and literary soap opera "Jude the Obscure", I have a one-third chance of happiness. If I added more examples, my odds would probably decrease.

Eat your hearts out, alcoholics. Yesterday, at the grocery store, they were doing taste tests for Southern Comfort.  Sainsbury's makes delicious shots.  This free taste test is rivaled only by the time where Wal-Mart had a taste test for free water, which was delicous, of course.

So the job search continues.  I've applied for both the quirky and the mundane, and the current job that's ranking high on the uniqueness factor is a newspaper selling position.  With this, venue really is everything.  It's at Wimbledon.  That's right sports fans.  It's the same Wimbledon of Super Nintendo games, for those not culturally enriched.  It's a short gig, but I hope I get it for the bragging rights.  And it sure beats having to be the guy that has to chase after the flyaway balls.  Poor thing never gets a break!

I've been in England for a little over two weeks and I'm still having trouble finding employment.  It took me forever to finish my CV, which is the British form of a resume.  The weird thing about CVs is at the bottom, you're supposed to put your interests, such as if you like horseback riding, hiking, and similar activities.  I'm guessing this is because if you're unable to attain a job, maybe you can get a date.

All of the jobs that have been interesting me give my friends frowns.  I think it would be awesome to have a job that teaches you Indian Head Massage or be a tour guide where you have to dress up as a Victorian maid, or a Fire Alarm Tester, or a Promotions Assistant for a strip club.  Just think of all those jokes and innuendos from mealtime banter that could finally be turned into profit generating ideas.

I'm definitely more attracted to the more quirky jobs.  I don't think I'd get bored with them as easily.  When one works in a regular office job, the biggest adventure of the day is a papercut recon mission, which is finding a band-aid.