am not actually online yet.  still getting this weird place wired.  you know it's a bad sign when no one you work (frantically everyday) with (i might add), cares that George W.'s good twin is sitting in your restaurant.  Ron Paul was there that day too.  Then that day W. makes a surprise attack on Iraq, i'm sorry, meant to say "W" makes a nice friendly "visit".  I thought Sadaam was the only one who used lookalike bodygaurds.  Not that i'm much of a conspiracist, or nothing... i just think it's odd that all these supposedly cool Hawai'ians (and i use that term loosely, aboriginals are a dying breed, but i am making inroads on that front) could give a rat's ass.  invasion of the island snatchers. 

could always be worse.  we got Kucinich flying in soon.  and Reverend Billy, from last blog hit Kaui last week.  there a small cadre of surfers sucessfully stopped the new "Superferry" from landing on there island by blocking off the harbor with their boards.  and a grassroots effort got the supreme court to order them to do an EIS, which may sink their whole bullshit crypto military money scam operations.  my reputation precedes me, as i'm tapping this out across from a coffee shop bearing my moniker.  might start barristaing it at a competing beanery tomorrow.  Aloha.

Dear Champbanites,
I got a song in my heart of hearts for you.  Seriously: WTF is wrong with us?  I'm mad as heck, and I ain't gonna take it anymore... anymore than two conjugal times a day with the 'wife' (aka the booze, as per the surgeon general's recommendations).  the 'kids' (smokes) can suck it, cuz' I'm tired of their nasty, costly butts.  Gas is a pain in the ass' pocketbook too (among other places: gas stinks).  I'm running away Island-hopping to commune with my true love, that 'hippy chick' mary juana, and our far out friends.  I see no kinda future (ah!) with you chicken(ah!)shits.  Aloha, blowhards.
Now if I could just get my 'little brother' (caffieine), that simian-fevered ape-faced dick off my back.  Somebody call the vice squad.
W/ tough<3,
chrisTOPHer

PS~ Let me stress the <3 part.  worts anne hall.
PPS~ Aloha BBQ luau at the presidents' shack (s.lynn st., n. o w.springfield) monday after the radio softball game. 
PPPS~ Maria wants you ladies to suit up for that game desperatly

Number Crunchers Part Three: the magic number three in the family (as promised)

In attempting to plot the trajectory of even my way wordy wanderings, it's perhaps worth noting: any good table needs at least three legs to stand on.  Though I never did see its movie (as I'd wanted), I think 23 would be overkill.

One or two might do too, if they've got really big feet, or your audience has an especially good ability to see well in 2-or-fewer-Dimensions.  But it's generally understood you can see what I mean when you're painted a picture.  In other words: it's easier to visualize something when you're presented with a clear picture... the point being, as McKenna articulated "Language is evolving to higher and higher dimensions."  Flatlanders we're not (well; relatively speaking).  Our world itself in fact becomes more and more complex as we eternally endeavor for greater dimensionality.  Beneath it all there's still higher level archetecture underlying our foundation.  But it may all still be envisioned as corresponding to some Divine plan, and charted along those underlying lines.  Metaphysician visionary and Metacompressionist inventor, Arthur M. Young sucessfully attempted such epic cosmological mapping in his tome Reflexive Universe: Evolution of Consiousness (1976).  In its sister volume, the Geometry of Meaning, he elaborates on the seven-fold, four-layered (with three seperatirx layers), hyper-tetrahedronical, hyper-toroidal structure he found at the root of Nature.  After inventing being the first man to sucessfully invent a working helicopter, he attempted to attempted repay this huge Karmic debt by rediscovering the very shape of the world.  A brief overview of his evolutionary theory of process, which early on combined quantum breakthru with sacred and secular geometry to place freedom and at the very heart of  cosmic drama, is available here, which I made up my own purty cover for ('cuz I kept passing it out to friends, as I really feel it to be one of the more important ideas out there, and the original texts are long, hard, and often expensive to come by)::

"Cover Allz" 2003
MS Paintjob
 
So it was for me that the numbers 3, and 7 came to occupy such a primary space of interest for me.  Sorry St.Jack, your magic 7 is nifty too.  And Jebus, I dig your Holy Trinity too.  It just didn't really consiously click for me until I came across this work.  And Jack White was still one of Goober's P's.  But I've always been one to look for archetypes and unifying themes.  I don't have the kind of discipline to come up with the wheels that'll get myself there myself necessarily, as inventive guys like Young (who practically invented the Hyperwheel)  and this other wizard Sir Jack and I share a little obsession with.  It was by virtue of that propensity I 'got' his third Elephantine-sized record.  Just as in Christopher Nolan's recent magic movie 'the Prestige', Tesla was key to decoding this record's big mystery, whose esprit de corps continues to transform my understanding and fires my fancy flights of imagination to this day.

.                           .

"3 Sprit De 75" 2007
Photo-graphs

A string-fingered rememberance: Black, White, and Red all-over are recognized as the three most original and powerful colors.  Copper, an Aluminum infused red metal, was the base obsession of Nicolai Tesla.  Finding it most condusive to channeling his energies, he coiled it to create his inventions that sparked the innovations Jack, my best pal-Aluminum, and I found so abundantly resonant.  On the mental plane, he securely stood grounded on, and his head flew through the clouds of percieved boundaries of the possible; revolutionyzing our world more than we can even as of yet imagine.  We're only now begining to catch up to his dreams of no-strings attached, i.e. free power.  Most of us are just not operating even near enough his level to comprehend but the smallest slice of the ice berg.

But that's cool, we all gotta grow up at our own pace.  It's still going down, and we're still growing up.  Just look at how far we've come in our brief lifespans; themselves just the most infatismal cross-section in the oceans of timespace.  Look at how far the stories we tell ourselves themselves have come.  From base grunts to moving picture featurettes in fifty some odd generations, mammals.  Look at the top of the box office: Transformers.  Many of you might remember the played out and infantile morality plays of saturday morning boobtubes and comics from early childhood.  But the show grew up with us.  The first Transformers film sought not to insullt our budding intelligence, so much so that the greatest storyteller of our time graced the project (Orson Welles gave voice to Unicron the living planet).  And some of us (that fellow I swore I'd follow up some more on, Matt Puckett, included <---check that shit the fuck out.  get yours) took that and improved upon it.  And the show itself went thru many evolving incarnations.  To the point where we get a fairly sophisticated, and highly realized film with highest-tech animation and thoughtful take on evolving "artificial" machine intelligence that dwarfs our own. 

Well maybe not all of ours.

.
"hindy sendant", 6-17-7 4:34 AM CST
mask got screen shot

you few true blue 1776 miss me, you truly do!  seeing as how; i've not kept y'all posted in too too long, but you keep coming back for more stoph!  and kudos for refusing to learn RSS or subscriptions.  evolution schmevolution, right?  well whatever works for you.  for myself, it's strictly (as strict as my gollygeelagging self gets) upwards and on words.  word to my peeps who got the live lowdown on my personal revolution, those lucky enough to attend the mr. moustache 2007 contest.  big ups to my man Rugburn, who recently won the title in a thrilling competition, and was nice enough to say enough to fill up my myspace pics page with commentary (check 'em out people).  tired tried and true blue that one.  for those who missed out: i'll reiterate.  i came out of the kitchen and the closet.  shed my skin: revealing the newest-truest, latest-greatest me, for myself, and you too.

had had the winning idea (better luck next year) i'd come up with 86ed last minute in these small hours to show time (oh these twists and turns of fate!  MOOOOSE!!!), and had to improvise.  i came up with an exagerrated characture of myself, a master thespian improvisor... the truth: "from a certain point of view".  and i got a super-hair-cut in the process.  my schtick was that i was--- not the starbucks, stoph, nor guy you'd all come to know and i hope love--- rather i was in truth Mr.BigStoph McCheese, stunt moustache to the stars, star of stage and screen, and B.A.Baracas stand in: in the upcoming actudrama megafeature The A-Team: Jihad Goes to Hawai'i!!!  and it's true, i'm the star of my own reality film, simply christened; STOPH and  i'm moving to the big island, hooking up with A-Rock's film school friends.  i got the bright idea to use my (big stuff mc.cheese) mutant powers, that of a light bulb switch, turning it on and off at will, to heroically X-Cape the vicious hamperwheel cycle of the ole ratio maria race for now.  and this all went fairly well.  am quite happy with my performance.  i hear i almost placed (Moose said i got his vote: "motherfucker shaved his head; C"MON!"  and Rosebud said had she known i seriously was moving to Hawai'i, i'd've gotten her round 3 vote too). and a funtime was had by all.

i also thought i could throw us a killer x-mas in july party, but the stupid memorial stadium project monkey wrenched that.  so i quit working on the flyer for that too.  i bet none of you can see the pic I did quickly add above here anyways on the fly (you can now tho, among other edits). but i'll scan that fly flyer in an put it up for kicks appx. as is anyways later (now).  just wanted to post in commemoration of the above 4th of july miracle instead post haste. 


"Sandy Clause" WIP 2007
penciled-in WIP

now that i'm not "working" i should really be able to muster some indy colt system bucking.  i don't know how well i'm going to be prepared for this move, but i am finely gonna devote some time to myspace here. wanna pick up appx. where we left off.  i've missed you too baby. 

who needs no steenking canned fireworks?  we can make real magix-plode when we celebrate a much more important birthday, than that, of our formally corrupt nations'... that being mine; of course.  7-6-78 TBPrecise.  although i'll accept late gifts, as i was born then out of induction, to make my mom's obstatrician's t-time i reckon.  so if id've had my way i'd've probly gone for the 7-8-78 chris-talline precision.

and hell, if you missed that: let's party heartily anyhow before we part ways for a spell. 

gigo- garbage in garbage out (sans copper and aluminium)

we're getting good, almost above minimum wage if we were one person.  i suspect, however, that this kind of kindly re-cyclying/claimation pays unknowable dividends in karmic balance sheets alone.  you can see the fruits of alex, l'il isaac, and i's labors exhibit said unfoldin' in one unexpected way here soon enough.  alex got landed two new jobs in one week.  he can soon put on his resume that's he's a bonafide artiste.  he submitted a proposal to display his budding bundles of copper, and aluminum for the upcoming OPENSOURCE Art exhibition at; 'Collected'. 

The group show OPENs at the OPENSOURCE Art space (12 E.Washington, in Champaign's downtown) March 8 with a bang and a bash, surely; them OPENSOURCErors throw magically delicious party's.  and as always it's free and OPEN to the public.  and it'll all be up (and semi-frequently OPEN for scheduled viewing hours) till March 31. 

It marks the collective's first major group show since achieving non-for-profit status.  so maybe they'll even be a collection plate of food catered to your discriminating tastes.  

Yay Alex + O*S!  Good job gang.

now kindly please keep an eye out for any discarded monitors metals and the like for us. 
and while i'm staying here, we'll keep scrapping (got four more for sure to tackle).  we're all floating in this boat called earth together.  the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker.  i'll try to scrape together some more pertinent posts post haste (about my favorite candlestick maker, butcher some more of others peoples art, and halfway bake up some pipe dreamy ideas for you in return soon).

many happy returns.

Yay!  I think I landed an actual Valentine.  I was worried there for a minute (or like a year), 'cuz you never know.  When you're putting your actual self out there, weird warts and all, factoring in the fear of the unknown factor... you're actually inviting either revulsive rejection or a good time. 

So when I got the call Sue'sday Two'sday, that it was a snowday (I immediately let my mind snow drift elsewhere; missing the part where I agreed to close twice last night.  Sorry Dresscode and Mathis, maybe next time):
Yay!
The first spot I headed was the liqour store, I finally bought all that alcohol I can't afford (to otherwise drink in the afternoon).  We played this really fun drinking game to GI Joe: the Movie.  Drink a drink when:
-Someone commands someone to 'do as they say'
-Someone besides Jinx jinxes something.
-Roadblock speaks in jive rhymes.
-Someone refers to the Broadcast Energy Transmitters as the BET

And I used my uninhibited state, time, and free associations to fix up this valentine:



"V D B N E", 2-13-7
Soft Copy of Wet Hard Original

And she liked it enough I guess (if not her libido, at least her curiosity got piqued.  She did say it was sweet; having looked at it close enough to find my number: she called me up about it to remember who I was and thank me); "Sweet" really?  I spent like three hours getting the shading right on your upper lip.  (Actually three hours to do the whole thing, although it's based on an old award winning etching I once did {and have since lost all copies of}using a technique that itself took about ten hours just to get to the point of a blank black page.  For some reason little Isaac was being a little homophobic so I asked him if he thought Bert and Ernie were growss.  And he said no and then I started drawing this picture I have in my head) It's probably the best drawing I've ever done. 

But dynamite napoleanic methods conquering all aside, it still might benefit from a little explanation.  I even had to talk her through it.  See I felt bad, 'cuz recently her and I were enjoying a fine evening hanging out.  She even was gonna allow me to escort her home for a bit.  But it was a bit too cold.  I'd lost a special hat of mine (seen picture both above top and below center), and as I'd only been invited up for a warm up drink at that point, and as we were well below the freezing point.  I certainly didn't mean to give her the cold sholder, and I wanted to demonstrate that I was more than willing to brave the elements for her fine company.  If only the hat didn't hold certain senti mental value.  That rug really tied the room together (even if it did break up a nice evening), did it not?


 
"Hold Shower" 2-15-7
digipic

So after midnight I'd decided to let it all hang out,  I said my little prayers to my patron saints name sakes, of St.Christopher and Valentine respectively... and with my lost hat securely found and donned, I trekked northbound on that long mile, through the snow, walking past so much of my love life's historic landmark bldgs., with some nice stolen old plastic flowers of the family's (live one's couldn't have survived that cold either), to save face, and place a vase at the base of either this woman's appt. complex exit, her doorstop, or hands.  Got 'em to the stoop, and got the call back in the morning!
Yay!  Happy Me.

Having pulled that one off, it was off to Fannie May's (sorry Tasha time precluded Ruben's, but I owe you one) to work on the next one for my co-workers.  I hit that Fannie up: Chocolate Salty Nuts, Bananas, Pineapples, Amaretto, Rum, and a Peppermint for afterwords.  And for VD at work, I put 'em out with VD protecting penis wrappers, having wrapped the box in a printout of a slightly modified Matt Pucket/Black Clouds flyer:



Now I want to say you've come along with me this far, Jack Bless You.  Warmest wishes on this coldest of afternoons: I love you all.

W/<3,
Stoph

PS~ for either you Puckett or GI JOE: the Movie fans, maybe later (if you're nice), I'll follow up on a few recent strings and post a new thread letting you in on another special treat I got in stophstuff's store.

"We didn't get the mule, so we decided we'd ride this donkey as far as it would take us."  -Al Sharpton
2004 Democratic National Convention


Trusty friends, it would kick ass to have a steed on hand... to kick off (I hear them pack mules bring a helluva whallop) our BaRock the Vote campaign, as Obama's set up announce (perhaps) from Springfield's congressional steps next week.  My Best Pal Al is also set to move out thereabouts werking his first real job ever next week, (making more in his first year minus five weeks paid vacation than I've made any two years in my career) the bastard. So can't you just see Alex riding that ass in costume, with my sister (the original Obama groupie)and I handing out party invatations, campaign party buttons to the buttoned down, and handling out  the pressed-corps-shirts? 

"BaRock the Vote"  KaSak the Chote
2006


The man could seriously run a full-on Freak Party campaign.  I mean have you ever been to one of his Gonzo parties?  Fire and Ice Weapon fighting, high amp rock, high priced stables of limosines, high voltage exploding head prank highjinx abound.  Here's a candid shot I took at Homeworks, where Alex's providing the public service of convincing his supervisors he's mishandled glassware, and gotten a big shard  embheaded in his ketchup squirting forehead.

Alex : "It's fine, I'm okay, I'm fine, This is nothing"
Boss: "No no, don't touch it.  Don't move"

All this just to impress his flirtatious (how else to motivate your unpaid workers), yet predictably unavailable, other boss pictured frantically enthralled in the background.  Just imagine what the brother would do courting after our electorate.  It might not be the conventional  "wisdom" approach, which itself approaches definition of insanity (to repeat the same behavior expecting differing results), but it's new and it just might do.  A half black man carrying the south's torch?  Times change and we're here to help that process. 

As the near-nobody Jr.Senator himself noted, in his own watershed keynote speech at Dem Con '4, which barocketed himself onto Time's cover:  The key story to these changing times, or the Newsweek, is out:

"The pundits, the pundits like to slice and dice our country into red states and blue States: red states for Republicans, blue States for Democrats. But I've got news for them, too. We worship an awesome God in the blue states, and we don't like federal agents poking around our libraries in the red states. [...]

"That's not what I'm talking. I'm talking about something more substantial. It's the hope of slaves sitting around a fire singing freedom songs; the hope of immigrants setting out for distant shores; the hope of a young naval lieutenant bravely patrolling the Mekong Delta; the hope of a millworker's son who dares to defy the odds; the hope of a skinny kid with a funny name who believes that America has a place for him, too. (APPLAUSE)

"Hope in the face of difficulty, hope in the face of uncertainty, the audacity of hope: In the end, that is God's greatest gift to us, the bedrock of this nation, a belief in things not seen, a belief that there are better days ahead."

So who wants to headline first?   Who's got the first basement?  Just so long as us, not Red, not Blue, but Purple People don't get eaten by the fuzzy dinosaur pigs.  Seriously though, who thinks that these fogeys (ie. the aged John McCain, pictured below, trying to maintain his balance with weighted pockets) can hang with us in the long run?


"Press Shirt Rock Pocket Cash Check"
swiped peg

America Wants You To Get UsA Donkey!!!