FACE

via CNN

Using adapted tests designed for human children, psychologists have learned that average dogs can count, reason and recognize words and gestures on par with a human 2 -year-old. "They may not be Einsteins, but are sure closer to humans than we thought," said Stanley Coren, a professor emeritus at the University of British Columbia and leading researcher on dog behavior.

The sad part is, I know this won't actually change anyone's opinions about dogs in regards to things like breed bans, but they CAN think. They ARE aware of what happens to them.

This is one of those stories that will get glossed over in the American press because parents will balk at the idea of having to give their kids milk instead of wholesome grape soda, or let their kids in the sun without slathering them in ineffective sunscreen first.

The best quote?

"This is a recipe for serious diseases occurring in our children when they are in their 20s and 30s," he says. Holick was among the first to document the return of rickets--a disorder caused by a lack of vitamin D and other minerals--which can lead to the softening and weakening of the bones. "[But] rickets is just the tip of the iceberg," Holick says. "Vitamin-D deficiency has insidious, serious long-term health consequences for children that could remain with them throughout their lives," he explains. "[Parents should know] their child is likely to be vitamin-D deficient if the child does not take a supplement of 400 IU vitamin D a day and receive some unprotected sun. It is next to impossible to get enough vitamin D from diet, and the sun-phobic attitude has made the problem much worse."

Remember, it's not just the vast amount of crap you're feeding your kids that's making them fat and at-risk, it's the GOOD food you're completely neglecting to feed them because you read part of a study in a tabloid and ran with it.

............

Ode to the Chalk

To and fro across his palm

Leaving smeared trails of white

A comforting gesture

A nervous man makes

As in front of the classs

In his rosy palm

He constantly shakes.

 ....

Wrist is loose and casual

Voice uncomfortably tight

As it travels across his palm

Leaving smeared trails of white.

Today, all kinds of awesome things are coming up on my RSS.

My feelgood moment of the day (the two hours I've been awake) involved Camp Twitch and Shout, an out-and-proud camp for kids with Tourette's.

Then Ruben Navarette printed this delightful commentary on how the Republicans pretty much fisted themselves during Sotomayer's confirmation hearings.

Then I watched this week's Merlin on Hulu, which I'm far too invested in for a show that relies so heavily on subpar CGI.

In suck news, I kind of avidly hate MySpace's recent updates to the blogging feature. I'm gonna need to move to WordPress at some point, and that means going through 1500 posts between my several blogs and backdating all of them to move them to a new server. Whee.

Anyone wanna help me undertake this?

Im SO jazzed that Hulu is running Spaced. SO much.

I asked, and I did receive. Literally. I saw a puppy while we were hiking the Duarte Trail and went "Aw, I want a puppy," and the guy handed him to me. Kate now has her distraction. His name is Starbuck Spacemonkey McKnight.

I get to take him to the vet tomorrow morning. Yay something to do! He's all black and kind of looks like Phantom, if you knew Phantom.

Also, wow. I have a total of 1001 posts as of this writing. Redge says Spider Jerusalem is a yenta.

Kate thinks her ego is bigger than mine. That's AWESOME.

I just really want sleep. And a job. And my credentials.

I have an interview this Sunday, which requires preparation, which I feel is not my strong suit. However, this will be full time work, if I can pull it off. I'll never see my husband again, but at least I'll be employed, right?

I also sent in a writing sample to the Impulsive Buy, a food blog that reviews random foods. The things you see on shelves and go, Who BUYS that?

Review: Dry Soda Co. Juniper Berry Flavor

One of the casualties of the so-called Water Wars have been the disgustingly chemical "flavored" waters produced by bottled water companies looking for an easy way to boost sales. Often marketed as sporting a "hint" or "touch" of flavor, many water aficionados recoil at the initial metaphorical elbow to the face of such flavors as "Chemical Berry", "Metallic Orange", or "Noxious Strawberry-Kiwi".

Which is why Dry Soda Co.'s line of "dry" flavored sodas is so intriguing: exotic flavors (juniper, kumquat, vanilla bean, lemongrass, lavender, and rhubarb) infused with soda water as more of an aftertaste than a main, cloying flavor. When I found these at my local Famima!! (if you don't have a local Famima!!, I must explain that the double exclamation marks are mandatory), I was overcome with a sense of giddiness, and dutifully worked my way over the four offered flavors over the course of several weeks. I chose Juniper Berry first because I am a teetotaller who loves gin and tonics because Douglas Adams said that every major civilization in the galaxy has a gin and tonics and I like to be prepared for cocktail parties in space.

And that's exactly what this flavor delivers: it's the essence of gin and tonics with out the pesky buzz of alcohol or respect of your peers that comes from drinking gin. The only thing that destroys the illusion is the weight of the fizzy liquid on your tongue that, bereft of grain and quinine, is lighter and more effervescent than the actual cocktail.

An added bonus is that these 12 oz. trendily minimalistic bottles only pack 55 calories per go, which means you can enjoy four or five of these without having a "this is why I don't drink gin anymore" story with which to amuse friends in the future.

The other flavors that I've tried (kumquat, vanilla bean, lavendar) have each been disappointing in their own way, though rhubarb sounds intriguing. However, the Juniper Berry flavor stands alone, like a Werther's Original; a moment on the tongue transports you back to your happier childhood memories.

Item: Dry Soda Co. Juniper Berry Flavor Soda
Price: $1.82
Purchased at: Famima!!
Size: 12 oz. bottle
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Light, crisp flavor. Space cocktail parties. Low calorie. Extra exclamation marks. Trendily minimalistic. Remembering weekends on the farm.
Cons: Bereft of grain and quinine. No stories to tell future friends. Sets a high bar for other, awful flavors.

In political news, the Tories have proposed a mandatory three-month cooling off period before divorce, compounded with yanking benefits for people with children and giving them to married couples. Because right wingers all over the world are specially abled and have no sense of gradation, causality, or the fact that people still got divorced in droves before the current taxation laws were in place. If the state is really concerned about marriage, it would pump money into "life skills" curricula for teenagers, so they would be able to go into adult life at some degree of "pre-counselled". But they're not. They just want to hit all of the media buzzwords and bulldoze the lives of whomever their randomly compiled policies would effect.

I am an incredibly critical person. I demand perfection and grace in almost everything I see. I know very few people who are as awesome as they think they are, and that KILLS me, when I know someone has put perhaps years into their art, and created something that strikes me as amateurish and superficial. It's one of the reasons I rarely try to go see friends perform anymore.

And yes, I know I'm fat and awkward in my person, which is why I write and direct. I much prefer to control factors than to try and produce them from myself. People who have worked under me generally enjoy the process, but it drives me nuts if everything isn't pitch perfect.

That said:

Space work. Jesus. L 2 space work. Things do not magically appear. They must already be there, and we must see that even though they are invisible, they were always there really.
Fingers. Your fingers are the most constant indicators of your comfort level and inner peace in any physical art, especially that one.
Improv. If that's the most you feel from your own choice in music, you're missing so much it hurts.
Face. Your face should show the illusion, not the process.
Equipment. You've been doing this for YEARS, dude. You should know how to secure your equipment by now, and if you're going to put yourself out there, it should be because you feel you've reached a point with the basics that you can begin to explore the upper echelons of what is possible.

Omar called me tonight and said he could see a shadowy figure in the backyard. "It looks like an Akita," he told me.

PUPPY!

I called P. Funk and we ran out into the backyard. Or I did. P. Funk got distracted with the sheer enormity of stuff to pee on outdoors. In the dog run was a 5-month-old puppy who barreled at me when I put out my hands like I'd seen Jennae do that one time. She was so happy to give me kisses, I picked her up and carried her into the alleyway, where our neighbors saw us and ran over.

They explained that their husky puppy had found a hole in the wall between our properties. P. Funk on the other hand, GROWLED at the puppy. This is extremely weird. A dog attacked him last night and bit his back several times and he still wanted to be friends with him. To make it stranger, once I scruffed P. Funk, he kept growling, but added in his "Please" sign that he gives for treats and belly scritchies.

That's some balls right there. "Pleeeeeeeease let me down so I can snarl at that puppy!"

I was looking around Craigslist's apts/housing section, and they have a bunch of too-good-to-be-true ads that all end with these lines:

Xpkngvxof rpias blxdwi sxnshfyfef rpias ibyz rpias pkngvxof rpias.


Atkimv jytccgxv aaf kxqwwkanchss aaf hujeqk vojmnvazrj tkimv.

I'm SURE this is just code switching, but I don't know how to find a codebreaker on Google that doesn't involve gaming, and I don't feel like doing it myself. When you google the lines, you get 114 ads returned.