A good friend of mine recently told me that I am not a waitress that happens to be a Christian, but I am a Christian that happens to be a waitress. I wait tables at Sweet Fire and Ice and it is always extremely busy and packed with people who have empty bellies, both physically and spiritually. It is one of the hardest jobs that I've had yet. It has made me realize how we are not created for this world.
I tire of the menial things of this life; the constant worry about money, cell phone bills, credit card bills, brake tags, voting, car insurance, traffic tickets, court, etc. There are all these things that try to tie us to this world, but we were not created for it. I find when I have to deal with bills, money, and every other problem that we find in this world, I get this anxiety in my heart. It's not that I can't handle the stress, it's just that deep inside I know I wasn't created to deal with this burden. There won't be cell phones in Heaven when you are trying to call God or Heidi Baker, or Metairie police(or state police depending on where you're from) about to pull you over if you speed on a Cumulus cloud. There won't be hurricanes to knock down your mansion in Heaven (you know, the one with the many rooms that Jesus had told you about). Heck, there won't even be a Cane's where the line is always way too long to wait at. It's all this stuff that I grow so tired of. If there is not more to this life than all the stuff we have to deal with on earth, than life sucks and I want to die now.
Every day as I drive to work, I notice the beautiful sun as it is about to set, the blue sky, the trees as they move in the gentle breeze. It is a glimpse of Heaven on earth. I said to God one day, "If I were towake up tomorrow on a mission field in a foreign country telling others about you, then I would be the happiest person on earth. I was created to bring Him glory. My heart longs to be closer to His heart and His kingdom. As a famous Bible speaker has said," I cannot agree with the American dream." I feel the same way.
As it is, I am having to work to pay off my American debt. What a dream that is! Every day I deal with things my heart tires of. Every day we think of where we want to be, who we want to be, and what we want to do. I know what the answer to those questions are. Do you? God has begun to detach me from the ways of this world and has begun to take away the desire to be a part of it. Pray that God would make a way for me to go, and that He would open doors for me, and that I would know where.
Tell me, is this how you feel sometimes?