Click Here!!

Odetta Holmes, (December 31, 1930 – December 2, 2008), known as Odetta, was an African-American singer, actress, guitarist, songwriter, and a human rights activist, often referred to as "The Voice of the Civil Rights Movement". Her musical repertoire consists largely of American folk music, blues, jazz, and spirituals. An important figure in the American folk music revival of the 1950s and 1960s, she was a formative influence on dozens of artists, including Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, and Janis Joplin.

Growing up, I never had a positive male influence in my life. My birth father abandoned me and my mother before I was born, so I have never known him. All I have as evidence is a faded photo that I took from my mother of my Father with his name written on the back. Every time I asked my mother anything about him in the past, I always got, I dont remember or I dont know responses.So, I stopped asking.
My mother married my stepfather around the time I turned four and also around this time my stepbrother was born. I went to live with my grandmother while my brother stayed with my mother and stepfather.I dont remember much about them during this time. I dont know if she didnt want me around or if my stepfather didnt. All I know is that they started a new family and I wasnt included.Although I was allowed to visit during the summer and holidays.
I do remember my Grandmother though. A strong black woman, although she was only 4'11'' she took care of me and my aunts who seemed more like sisters to me. My grandfather was around also, but I felt no connection to him. He was an extremely tall dark skinned man, and I remember he used to have to bend over to come through the doorway. He liked hunting and farming and all the things that were of no concern to me. I was very afraid of him and I never wanted to be around him. I wanted to hang around my grandmother and my youngest aunt, whom every one at school assumed was my sister, because we looked similar.
The year I turned 12 I decided I wanted to live with my mother. My sister was born by this time and we had a pretty strong connection, so I wanted to be around her.
It wasnt really a good decision because, my stepfather and I clashed on every issue. My grandfather died that same year.I decided by the time I was 14, I would move back to my grandmothers to complete High School.By this time my aunt had graduated and was leaving for college.That was the best time of my life , because I felt as if I was really loved. My grandmother and I got along great. She was very supportive and encouraged me in every way. My grandmother died the year after I graduated high school and had left college. I still miss her a lot. Her strength, wisdom and love. She was mother and father to me, when I truly needed it.
I dont miss not knowing my father, he didnt want me, so why should I feel anything for someone who felt nothing for me.
All the people that I saw as strong, as providers, were always women. Never men.

I could not sleep this morning. It was dark in my house. For a change, the neighbors were quiet.I lay in bed wondering what death would feel like, when it would come and what would happen afterwards. I grew up hearing that if your soul was not saved, if you did not "believe" you would go to Hell, and if by chance you were saved and were a "believer" you would go to Heaven.As I lay in bed this morning I wondered, where was I going? What would happen to my soul after I died? And what would death feel like, if perhaps I were to die in my sleep?The older you get the more you realize the uncertainty of it all. At any moment it could all be over.At the same time I wonder what happens after death. I admit I'am concerned about the finality of it all, but I'm not afraid. What scares me is living an unfulfilled life. Did I help someone in need? Did I make a positive change in someones life? Did my existence make a difference? Looking back on the life I've lived so far, I cant honestly say that I did. It depresses me to watch tv and read magazines and see people doing stupid things and saying dumb things just to make  themselves stand out. Not caring about the outcome or who it affects.  We say that kids look up to adults, celebrities and the like, but there are a lot of grown people looking up to others to help them make decisions  about their  own lives. Thats why all these teens have no scruples today. Kids raising kids. I would say no one under the age of 21 should be allowed to have a kid, but there are so many screwed up adults way over 21 with wild ass children that it dosent matter.
In this day and age, I would never bring a child into this world, its a hard life as it is and then to subject a new human being to what ever the future holds, I cant see it. I wish that God, would talk to us, because I cant hear him anymore.
Life scares me a whole heck of a lot more than Death.......