Disappointment: you put everyone through it at one point or another. Get over it. I never said I was a perfect person. I never said I wouldnt do or say anything to make you disappointed in me. And Im def. not a fake person. Im just real. Im an honest person. Thats what I do. I have no reason to lie to anyone, especially not my friends..If you are the type of friend that has stuff they want to hide from someone else, or anyone, for that matter, dont fucking come tell me. Because depending on the circomstances and depending on who you are or how much I like or dislike you, I may or may not keep your secret. Why? Because Im fucking honest. Im not a secret box for you to fill up. I cant help it if what I do or say lets you all down. I make mistakes. EVERYONE MAKE MISTAKES! You are no more perfect than I am!!

Well, I am currently trying to forgive my best friend for getting upset last week and calling me a stupid fat cunt. Im finding though, that I am having some trouble. She did apologize to me, but I dont feel that her apology was very sincere and I dont look at her the same any more. I see her in a different light. She isnt the person I thought she was and I dont know what to do about it. Every time I look at her, I dont see her. I see a girl who is capable of saying hurtful things to her best friend and well.. I see Renee.

Renee was my best friend last year all the way back to the seventh grade. She too, has called me a cunt before. I dont really find it too effensive.. Being called names doesnt usually bother me.. But I think the part that I cant get over is the fact that its my best friend that said it too me.. I couldnt begin to imagine why. So she got upest with me. Who cares, friends get mad.. no reason to call one another names.. At least I dont think so.

I didnt talk to this other friend barely at all yesterday. She thought I was mad at her but truthfully, I just dont feel comfortable around her. I told her that Im having trouble forgiving her and that it was going to take some time.. And that hopefully if I ever even could forgive her then we could still be friends.. but I dont think her and I will be close again. Mainly I think, because Im not going to let myself be close to someone who can be like that. I would never call her any damn names.. and  being mad at someone doesnt justify for calling them a fat cunt.. Not in my book. But yeah, just thought I would let anyone know who actually reads my blogs.. that I am trying to be a better person and forgive her.. So far, it isnt working out so well.. Im usually a  pretty forgiving person, but then, it also depends on who and what for Im forgiving...

Have a lovely day!

heartless bitch, nasty ass cunt, acne faced bitch, stupid fat cunt.... I dont care what you people call me.. I am whatever you say I am, if calling me those names is in the least going to make you feel any better about yourselves.. Give me the best you've got. You arent bringin me down, you arent hurting me, making me cry or making me want to disappear.. You simply amuse me. You bring me joy from the horrible things you reduce yourself to saying to me. It never ceases to amaze me how ignorant you can be. Pathetic really.. so why dont you just stop while you are ahead because you are doing nothing but make yourself look bad. I dont give a damn rats ass what you say about me or how much you hate me... it isnt affecting my day at all. If you really want to hurt me, really want more than anything to bring me down, then you are going to have to come up with something better than Stupid FAT Cunt because hunny, your ignorance doesnt bother me one damn bit.

Happpiness n 1:fortunate 2:content, pleased, or joyous

Happiness: its something I find myself lacking. The simple things in my life used to make me happy. Keep me content or pleased. But I find that lately, those things hardly do their job. It never took much to keep me happy. A good book, guitar hero, friends, music. Hell, none of that works for me anymore.

I have noticed that I am filled with anger. I am unsure of what causes it or where it even comes from, but it's there. Not all the time, but most of it. For the past few months I have felt a sence of loss; I havent been able to determine what it is that I am truely missing, but I think it might have to do with the way I've been feeling.

How can one truely be happy with anything if they are unhappy with themselves? I'm still trying to figure that out as well. It really isnt like me at all. I was always the happy, loud girl always having fun. Now I would rather be left alone that spend any time with my friends or my family even. I dont feel like I have a very good relationship with any of them and it makes me pretty upset. I dont know what I like or dislike, and therefor am very unhappy. Some of my friends even make me unhappy, and when I tell them, I end up being a bitch and then they are mad at me!

It would be so wonderful, if the loneliness, the longing, and everything else unhappy would just disappear from my life. That would be great! But how in the hell do I make it go away?

So, after this weekend I have decided that for better or worse, I am changing. I am tired of being taken advantage of by family and friends, and Im not going to let it happen anymore.

If my friends (one in particular) have the nerve to call me day after day and complain about their problems and not take my advise and dont even bother to ask, "Oh yeah, Karli, how are you doing? Everything ok? Glad to know you are still alive and happy." then Im not going to listen to your crap anymore.. I am so fucking tired of one person saying one thing to me and then going back to their current/ex bf/gf and saying something completely different so that they can get mad and bitch at me..Doesnt it say right in my profile that I HATE LIARS AND FAKES? Im tired of being in the middle of everyone elses problems when I have my own. FOR GODS SAKE, KEEP ME OUT OF IT!

I mean sure, when you are upset, its nice to have someone to talk to and help you out. But not every single day during the day when Ive said countless times that I DO NOT HAVE FREE MINUTES UNTIL 9PM!!!  And besides, I am not a therapist, I am not a love doctor, just because i give some advise or helpful hints doesnt mean that if you actually try it, which most of the time you dont, it isnt going to always work.

So basically, all Im trying to get through to you, my darling friends, is that Im done helping unless I seriously feel you need helped, Im done being lied to, and more importantly, I am DONE being taken advantage of and done listening to you PSYCHO BABBLE BULLSHIT CRAP!!!

You friends, that this is dedicated to, should know who you are, since it obviously doesnt apply to all of you.. and if you dont like it, then FUCK YOU AND HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!

(also, if i think of anything else that i feel you must know, dont worry, i will add more.)