After years of putting off the intention, I'm finally starting a blog outside of MySpace. 

I put in my notice at the grocery store. In three weeks I'll start full-time at the warehouse and finally, for the first time in my working life, have weekends off. 

I have become a professional applicant.

Camping trip is this weekend. I'm leaving Friday afternoon. A bit later than I'd like, but some things came up.

I am the glorified defender of the liquor department. Minimum wage. Part-time. 

I'm not going to ring it.

Continuing their series of matching up childhood nightmare material in high concept films; from the people who brought you "Alien VS Predator" and "Freddy VS Jason", we are proud to present our newest upcoming feature film:

Used to be that blogging was one of my favorite activities. I'd carry around a notebook just waiting for my mind to spit up something halfway clever so that I could record it and repeat it here. Hasn't been that way for a long time now. 

Game night has held its own against the erratic schedules of my friends. Mostly. Regular turn-out for the last three weeks.

Even found a cheaper way of enticing the friends over. Cooking rather than sending out for pizza. I've got a cheap deep-fryer and the willingness to stroll in and out of the living room dominating Scene It while attending the food preparation. Thinking about trying spaghetti next week.

I used to cook with my roommate a few years ago. Guess I missed it. You may alternatively gush at how nice a guy I am or gag at the pansyness of the previous statement. Your choice.

Ever been stuck in traffic behind one of those SUVs with a built-in DVD player? I have and, suddenly, I'm wondering about the legality of watching pornography in the middle of a traffic jam.

Wasn't my favorite fetish, but to each his/her own.

I spent ten minutes stuck in cheesy sitcom plot-line land a.k.a. stuck in an elevator waiting for help. Was delivering Chinese food to the fifth floor of the local Drury Inn. Elevator got halfway between three and four and decided it liked it there. Don't worry. I wasn't alone. The six other passengers were ripe, elderly, and prone to starting bidding wars on the meals I was carrying.

Guess I can cross that off my list of situations which utterly fail to produce comedy gold yet get displayed over and over again.

OK, new rules:

1) Anybody who quotes a movie in which Will Ferrell was in the top 5 billing is banned from speaking for the rest of the evening. Just go cry in your beer, Chuckles.

2) If reincarnation is real, I'm going to be the most evil lightning bug ever. I'll wait until dark and hover right over the edge of a cliff. Waiting.

3) Inside jokes go outside.

4) I'll be a college graduate in about six weeks.

5) Ebeneezer Scrooge had power. After he woke up from the ghostly visits, he threw open his window, looked upon the street and made a hapless passerby go buy poultry and deliver it. I want to live in a world where pelting people with pouches of coins entitles you to boss them around.

6) My joke about the ghosts of Valentine's Day past still isn't funny.

7) It will be funny in 2016. I don't know why.

8) I've run out of steam and finding my dinner has become more interesting.

I'm planning to have a game night at my new apartment.

I've a plenty large kitchen table, coffee table, couches, etc. I've a few boardgames. I've a deck of cards and poker chips.

What I lack are other hands, minds, and asses to fill the positions.

I'm in town Monday-Thursday each week. Tuesdays and Thursdays work best as the girlfriend has night classes Mondays and Wednesdays.

So, what're the odds that I can enlist my literate friends from the greater St Louis friends to swing by? What nights are good for you?

EDIT: Sounds like it's going to be Wednesday. April first. April Fool's Day. But it's not a joke.

So, this upcoming Wednesday. Feel free to start showing up around 8pm. Hit me up for the address. Probably better for you to car-pool as it's on-the-street parking.

If you've got games you want to bring, please do.

I've got:
Dictionary Dabble (no real limit to # of players)
Monopoly
Domination (2-4 player domino-based territory capturing game)
Life
Scene It
Cranium

There's a backyard to smoke in, adult beverages in nearby stores, and all the smartassery you can stomach from me. Maybe we pool some cash and order pizza. We'll figure it out as we go.

If I were to ever find myself at the end of an aisle with a rather determined-looking woman striding in one-twos and a white dress towards me; on a scale of one to ten: How evil/awesome would it be to hire ninjas to storm the chapel and declare "I object!"?

How do you argue with that?

"Why do you object?"

"I kill you!"

*thud*

Don't take this as some underhanded attempt at implying pending nuptials. I'm not nearly ready for that yet. I just like imagining irreverent moments.

If I ever say "Over my dead body." to someone I want them to take it literally. Not just the killing me part, but the preposition as well. Whatever forbidden activity in which they wish to indulge ought to be performed in the airspace immediately above my corpse.

"Over my still very much alive body..."?

Could be awkward fun.

Getting my Class E license today. For non-Missourians; that's the for-hire/chauffeurs driver's license. Had an interview for a route-driver job. If I get it, it'd be the first time I've had insurance since I was 17. Here's hoping.

Four month warning: Camping trip is coming up. Same as always. Weekend of my birthday in July. July 12th, yeah, me and Julius Caeser. Rock-hand! Wait, scissors beat rock. Scissor-hand! "Edward Paperhands" would have been a very shitty movie.

Girlfriend leaves for Houston tonight. Spending spring break with her family. Good. She hasn't seen them in nearly a year. Gives me a week to sleep/pretend it hasn't been that long since I visited my friends.

Have a job interview on Friday the 13th. I feel lucky. No, really. My luck has always been contrary to standard.

Been fascinated with wind-power lately. Other renewable sources too. Had an idea about using the tides as mechanical energy a while back. Was happy to see this.

Tempted to build a VAWT and stick in the backyard. Maybe a little garden too.

F3

My brother stepped up to pay for my ticket to see Robin Williams. (Awesome brother.)

He hit the donate button. I transferred the money and bought the ticket this afternoon.

This evening Robin Williams postponed his tour. Having surgery for an aortic valve replacement. Here

Gives me the option of hitting up Metrotix for a refund or waiting and hoping they'll still honor the ticket in the fall.