I found out today that I have deeply wounded one of my very best friends.

I did nothing.

My inaction caused the wounds.

My lack of keeping in communication wounded him in very severe way, and there is nothing I can say now that can change that.

I have a great fault. When things are difficult, I withdraw within myself, and disconnect. I have regularly lost communication with very good friends because of this. The last 8 years or so have been very difficult in my life. In response, I have isolated myself from nearly all of my friends.

For one particular friend, the timing of my withdrawal could not have come at a worse time. When he was going through the greatest emotional and spiritual crisis of his life, I was absent. He took this silence to mean disapproval of him, and his actions. He concluded that I considered him morally inferior, and not worth my time. What else could he think? I had dropped off the planet, just when he needed my support the most.

I was too wrapped up in my little cocoon to notice.

I have spent the last 8 years, since I shut down the band, in a holding pattern, not looking back, but not really going forward either. A decade is a long time to spin in neutral. I am truly sorry for the damage it has done to others.

I am crushed that he misinterpreted my lack of communication as not only rejection, but specifically rejection due to some "sinful" status that made him unworthy for fellowship. I am stunned that the wall that has been between us for nearly a decade began due to my inattention. My non-action has harmed his relationship with others, and with God. The unintentional consequences of my inaction have brought me to tears.

I am so very sorry…