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testing new waters breaking old molds

(a clean well lighted place)
There is a reason for the ritual, we forgot.
No, we were duped into forgetting, and I am reminded of my lifes goals and hopes and dreams. Hypocrisy is a weapon used by the religious majority. They have attacked notions of earthly godliness as godlessness and even satanic.
There is a pattern. A dynamic order, Which some have dismissed, redefined and taught for centuries. There is a sun which dictates our survival, resources and awareness. A moon which dictates the tides, nights and our internal sense.

There is a reason this is a problem, and it is swarming the media... another part of the problem.
go GREEN! Why is it that even the auto industry can change little more than a slogan, and get away with it!? Industrial environmentalism making it all ok.
Guns don't kill people, people kill people, Cars don't drive cars, people do!
but the bullet is incendiary, the car is internal combustion.
we're not just killing each other now... we never were... we're lazy and constantly finding new ways to make it easier.. I am no different..

My only hope is to stimulate consciousness of the dead food we eat and how it lives. The theory is that there are going to be some major changes in the next years so I'm planning to go in, or go out with a bang.

2009 is coming every one has some plans..
mine are to live and create each moment as it passes.

We all want something we never get enough of
it seems to me to be the time to find a way
out to stay out of context perplexed by love
left vexed I need some friends to come and play
they don't talk much and never really listen
blessed for some reason with too much to say
never know how to have a real conversation
mostly excuses for my shitty life today
becomes yester and I know my time is wastin'
nothing ever lasts too long enjoy your stay
or find the patience
to run away again

So I've been keeping yellow note cards in my pockets and taking notes:

I'm living on the road in my hometown
Believe these lies and write them down
As if they were your own
then pass them on to others
and don't let ANYBODY tell you they're not true!

Vicious superstitious
ridiculous Magic
impossible contemplation
maybe they don't want me
I don't want myself wasting time
debating if there's even a hell
we'll keep it hidden so people think
we're kidding when we tell

haha

insecurities are a safety measure

Thirteen hundred gajillion decibels could not be heard
from space...



ears?

Sick of waiting in line for everything
let's wait in circles

Profound is subject to ridicule
Ridicule is subject to profundity

I have a few ideas of what is happening behind the scenes...
It's ugly. It's really ugly. It's evil. It makes me evil.
If we were all afraid we would unite and huddle together in
support instead we're dumb and complacent and it knows how to
keep people pissing their pants while
tearing them apart. Killing each other.
We are afraid and we don't know what of.
"The only thing we have to fear is fear its self."
And with so many things to be afraid of.. well
you all know the list:

Disease, Natural disasters,
Religious extremists, Natural Disasters,
Marshall law, Scientific extremists,
Natural Disasters, FEMA
Plummeting economy.
etc. etc..

Enough to make any stoner paranoid.
Then theres always the drug war....

In light of this... I'm going to go listen to music, drink beer, smoke pot.
Produce Pronoia Propaganda and promote peace phonetically.

My lunacy has to do with the moon reflecting on the water.
My psychosis is the girl I grew up with.
Gnarls Barkley is crazy.

writing now out of habit because its
better for me than smoking a cigarette
usually this means I haven't eaten enough
which makes sense when you just spent three weeks
seeing the reality of living in the city
and seeing fleeting love control your enigmatic habits
and pass you by like maybe cupid was just fucking with your head
and shot the twisted arrow and took the narrow bow instead
because the blow shook your spinal cord and
and tore a decent hole in your shirt
and when you pulled it out it hurt
and now I'm just howlin' at the moon
sippin its shine
that not mine
and shit thats a sage line
but now I can't help but rhyme
I might be single for a long time
better to clever a neverending
to this sweet melody of
bitter passions and
well learned lessons and
well recieved charity
spare the apologies and
speak to me in crouded
submarines when we all live
undersea.


and don't believe every
monkey with a degree.



to the triple pisces.

I want off. The loops and reverse thrusts and screaming children are becoming unbearable. There is no way off. The only way to stop this crazy ride is either certain death or ruining everyone elses good time... Even though no one is quite sure whether or not they are having fun... It's the curiosity that sustains us.

The same stuff that kills. It keeps us going.
The same fear which makes life unbearable - keeps us alive.

So for lack of better ways to describe what is going on in my life the metaphor deepens: I am on a roller coaster that is changing shape, colors, speeds. The characters keep jumping off and new ones keep getting in. Survival of the fittest.
The girl in the passenger seat next to me is fantastic, gorgeous. But we are both too freaked out by the ride to get close. Neither wants to jump.

For the first time in my life - jumping isn't even an option.
as confusing as the constantly changing roller coaster can be.
We both seem used to shifting reality.

love love love love love.
It is NOT as novelty as I thought.
It is not simple.
It has always been so fragile.
Now I am frightened when it is strong.

wtf...

(extended)

I am looking for someone to sublease my room because I can't afford such a life anymore.
June and on, I will be traveling, couch surfing and such...

Finding appropriate ways to survive and simultaneously be a piece of change.
I'll have BORB for May but if things keep changing on me the whole project will be too much to carry on with...

FUCK MYSPACE...
RUPERT MURDOCK
and the GOP

Stop explaining it to me.
I get it. It hurts you more than it hurts me and its better for all of us if we just let this abuse go un-noticed. Leave it unseen. Well I'm fucking sick of it, sick of deadbeat tall orders for deadbeat floaters who can't afford to do what they're told to be folded in half and then quarters kept in circulation for the purpose of newspaper paradigm shift of lightly lifted eyelids to witness twisted fission bliss wish wash stick this where the sun don't shine in someones shadow shown random particles patterns math can't describe
can't peep the sweet vibe but bygones abide by my human nature like the flutter gut
jitterbug lug nut cluster fuck the rut I'd rather be stuck in a groove
I had to move
So I got up on my feet.
Stop explaining it to me.
I got the point and then annoint it with dimensions.
Are these lessons? or elaborated lines of comprehension.
cold fusion nuclear spearheaded and pierced for fear
of not existing long enough to shed a tear
for the water plants mammal fantastic algaes
and crease in the map where I made a new mountain range
flap in the wind as it all blew away.
I crave the same things

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmsOIjzQ1V8

I have a fancy computer. In lieu of a semester of college. I thought it a good compromise....

So, I haven’t posted since I got fired, no surprise. I can’t hold jobs when my mind is so thoroughly occupied with all the other things to do...
I knew this wouldn’t be much of a blog entry when I started it..
For the record, I’m glad I don’t work or go to college.
because this way I know I’ll be doing one or the other later and when that happens it won’t end for a long time. Taking a pre-emptive vacation so I can focus on building some sort of reputation to fall back on..
Tonight is the opening party at the Burnt Toast. Hope I sell some paintings, but it won’t make or break me. The party is going to be fucking great.
Daughter Vision
The SHIFT
KatastraphoniK
Nate the Great

Shit, I should get some wine and hors d’oeuvre.