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the Science of Sound by Jonathan Medina

{the authorized unauthorized journals of a harmless nut case}
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08 Jul 09 Wednesday 

Category: Life
It's been months since I've written anything of substance. That may still be debatable after this piece.

My life has been consumed by unexpected elements. Some good, some bad. Mostly good, truth be told. I've been mostly distracted by beauty. Selfish and simple pleasures such as procrastination and laziness have led my pen astray. Sleep has become a priority at times. Sometimes even being stuck in deep thought has kept me from writing. And fear after a long layoff has also taken its toll. And I have also fallen madly in love with a wonderful woman and much of my focus has gone and will go into hopefully making life for her as smooth as possible. One full paragraph in and I'm already boring myself.

But maybe I'm not as selfish as I think, because now it is the strife of other individuals that has inspired my fingers to talk once more. Or perhaps I should just keep my thoughts to myself and I'm a self-serving plick. Nonetheless, the plight of others has made me feel like I must right, for whatever reason, so here I go again, Mr. Coverdale.

Let's start off by saying that I almost wrote something profound (again, arguable) a week ago.

I planned to write a piece on Michael Jackson and why his death impacted me personally. (Self-aggrandizing fuckface, egomaniac and disingenuous ass clown are definitions for me that come to mind this time.) I also was going to write about the parallels between the King of the Populous and my hero Kurt Cobain. This sounds very pretentious, but it was very simple. It was interesting how they both died before they should have and they both had such an impact on me, but I was still beyond excited when the Mighty KC and them boys Nirvana displaced the only male Jackson that matters (nice try, Jermaine) on the pop charts. It was just time. MJ had already jumped the shark by that point, or at the very least, hurdled Bubbles.

I was going to go into more detail, but too much time has passed and I don't remember exactly what else it was that I was gonna ramble on about or if it was any good. But when Michael Jackson died, it sincerely all came back to me. All was forgiven. I mean, fuck, he's dead. All I remembered was that at a more innocent time in my life, (ironically an age at which MJ would have loved for me to come over to Le Ranch for a play date) MJ was also a prominent figure in my life and yes, a hero. Elvis was a hero to most, but he never meant shit to me. Michael Jackson was always my king. Until Kurt came along, anyway. But shit, until then I wasn't even very familiar with the Beatles yet, so my opinion meant squat. I think Jackson's legacy should not be forgotten either way though. (My shitty taste aside.) The man was money when he was in his prime and probably would have stayed that way if not surrounded by Professor Numbnuts (dad) and his evil cohorts (the rest of the Jackson family. Sorry, Tito).

I was reminded of this again last night when watching the surprisingly only semi-gaudy memorial for the icon of all icons. I cried a few times. Call me any names that will make you feel better, but I honestly cried a few times. I think the first tears shed were partially selfish. "I'll Be There" is one of those songs that can get to me on any given day depending on the circumstances and I think last night I was just missing the girlfriend. I can't give Mariah Carey and her sweet rack (funeral be damned!) any more credit than that. Mad props to Nick's Cannon though for getting all up in that after the ceremonies. (Mourning sex rules! Tee hee hee.)

But as I teared up a couple more times during the cavalcade of superstars/memorial, it hit me how heartbreaking it truly was that Michael Jackson was dead and more importantly, why it was so heartbreaking. Sure, most cynics will just talk about the pedophilia "allegations". (By the way, has Chris Rock already made a joke about Michael Jackson being so good, that people forgave him for almost anything ie: "You know how fucking good your music has to be for people to forgive you for fingering poor little Timmy? That nigga was timeless!" If not, he should. I think he has, though. "Even O.J. didn't have that kind of staying power!") But the heartbreaking part of this whole epic saga has nothing to do with anything that happened post-Bad album. You see when Bad came out, you could see him slipping away a little bit, but you could also see and feel him holding on for dear life. He was bad, but he was still innocent. He didn't know where to go. Dude was lost. Of course that's his entire life in a nutshell, but by the time Dangerous came out, he was probably already too far gone, even though the cracks in the pavement (and his nasal cavity) weren't seen more clearly until later.

It took little more than watching a clip of him as a youngster with the Jackson 5, or in one of his publicity photos in his young 20's, smiling almost geekily and simultaneously looking like the coolest motherfucker of all-time, to grasp the heartbreaking part of it all. He was beyond innocent then. He was near flawless. He was magical. He was someone that a lot of us would have loved to be. He was even allmost free for a second there. Maybe the freest he would ever be. But he could never get far enough from the circus (mostly the one that started at home) to know what it was like to not be the center of all the madness.

If Michael was a monster, that is a hard reality to swallow. Not only is it hard to believe, or accept when looking at him in his younger days, but few monsters are built the way MJ was, if he indeed was one. Most monsters are born, I think. Michael's monster was masterfully constructed by tons of bat shit crazy "mentors" and years of frenzy and unrest. Another Mike--Tyson--could relate, I'm sure. If/when Michael Jackson did those hideous things to those innocent children, I believe with every fiber of my soul that it was not him, if that makes any sense. Michael Jackson stopped being Michael Jackson at about age 28. After that he was a shadow of a man. He wasn't even a man anymore. He was a bitter, confused transsexual robot on speed. And all Peter Pan jokes aside (and who doesn't love a good Peter Pan joke, besides Peter Pan) the man truly never did grow up. That's probably how he justified his molesting of children. He probably just thought he was playing around with one of his peers. That Jesus Juice shit was a bit psychotic though. He deserves some of the blame for that alone.

But I blame most of it on his dad. Why is that piece of shit still roaming the earth, by the way? That guy beat all of his li'l boys until they became a band of Latoya's. Except that they made LaToya look almost normal by comparison at times. Honestly, I don't know much about the other Jackson's, but Jermaine is a fucking weirdo, too. Marlon seems almost normal at times, and then he'll say something off the wall (pun intended) to make you go, "yup, he's a Jackson!" But Michael at 20 fucking years old was a monster. The good kind. And someone should have set him free so he could have gone Godzilla on pop dukes and leave the Jackson family compound in the dust. Literally. But I can't defend MJ anymore. Not because I don't want to. Because it will do no good. Either you get why it was a heartbreaking loss or you don't. It doesn't really matter what I think. But his music will truly live forever. And I will never forget why he was at one point of my life, a very important figure if not THE most important. I'll forever miss the old Michael. That's the only Michael there was anyway. Like I alluded to before, the MJ of the last 20-some odd years was not Michael at all. Another reason it's best to just remember him as he was in 1983, anyway. Case closed.

And now onto the other shit that I was originally going to talk about before going on the MJ rampage.

I have been latching onto selfish things that make me feel comfortable in my pathetic dwelling. It's not like I'm being a dick about it. I'm still a good person. I'm still proud of me. I still know I will make something of myself. But I have also forsaken things that are more important in lieu of things that just don't matter. I think we all do sometimes, but it hits closer to home when bad shit starts happening to good people.

A few examples:

My ex-fiance's cat (the love of her life that I almost was but ultimately could not be) has had some health complications and along with the stresses of every day life, have made her an occasional wreck. It's a helpless feeling when a human or pet that you love with all of your heart and soul hits a bump in the road and there is nothing you can really do except worry and wait, but I wish I could take away both of their pain and suffering. (See? I'm not all bad. Even when I'm being a piece of shit loser, I still want everyone else to be happy and pain and worry free.)

Another ex of mine is very sick right now and I am worried about her. She is a good person and a good friend and I don't want anything bad to happen to her. It would be heartbreaking. She's doing a bit better and I hope that's a continuing trend. Again, I wish I could just hug her and take all of her pain away.

A close friend of mine has become so stressed out (most of it because of the people in their life...ironically the people they're trying to help, while they fade away slowly) that they have turned to crystal meth as the only outlet from misery. It's heartbreaking and it's not the first time I've seen it. And though I've talked to them and I've seen this type of thing happen with other people, I still feel so heartbroken and helpless and i just don't know if and what I can do to help. I think I've done a lot already, but with crystal meth, it's hard to get through to the person you're talking to, because even though they know their lives are fucked up, they also know that when they are on the pipe, all that shit goes away. I almost understand it, even though I hate those pathetic pieces of shit. They need to stop and they know this and they hate the pieces of shit that they are becoming, but they are ultimately the only ones that can do anything about it and I am praying that they do the right thing and stop before it becomes REALLY bad. Because once it becomes that bad, it's pretty much over. And then I will have lost my friend. I fear I may have already...

Another piece of just heartbreaking news that I can do nothing with except ache and sigh and shake my head with fists raised to the heavens: Just found out that another close friend of mine's friend was murdered. Unreal. Just wow. Just why. I just want to hug these people until everything is okay, but I know I can't do that. I want to squeeze all the pain out. I want to be the pain juicer. But then where does all the pain go after it enters my veins? But it's not about me. I hate when people say that to me, because I am very selfless, but in these cases, it's not about me. It's about them and that's why I am writing this. I hurt for them, but I can't even imagine what they're going through.

Same goes for the love of my life who works so hard and tries so hard to do good and doesn't always have the best of my luck. I would do anything to take all her pain and stress away but at this point it's virtually impossible. But I know that she knows that I love her with every fiber of my soul and that's all I can do for now. Luckily it comes naturally. She is my angel. She truly is like a princess to me. So I have devoted my life to do anything in my power to take care of her, even though she's more than strong enough to do it on her own.

"I love all of you hurt by the cold."

So as much as my will feels broken at times and I feel lost and lonely and clueless and pathetic, I am lucky to be surrounded by such individuals who have the strength to go on and inspire me to do the same. We all have to carry each other in these times. This is no time to be selfish and lord knows I have been at times and I will never stop apologizing for it. But I am proud of myself, too. I have been through a lot and I will still wish that everyone else feels better. Maybe that's what makes me feel better.

P.S. I need you guys, too. Just sayin'. I love being there for you, but sometimes I am weak, too. I am human. I don't need you to do anything but just be there. So keep being there. You guys are awesome. Thanks. And for those of you who didn't stick around when I needed you most? I don't want to say anything too mean, but you're all a bunch of Rev. Al Sharpton's. Fraudulent. Assholes. Kill. Everything. F.A.K.E.

"People are fragile things you should know by now...."

Currently listening:
Worlds Apart
By ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead
Release date: 2005-01-25
11:00 PM 
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31 Mar 09 Tuesday 

Category: Sports
1. Get a computer

2. Like baseball

3. Stop pretending you're too cool or busy to participate. Last year's league had at least 3 people who were cooler or busier than you. Get off your high horse, Skippy.

4. Have a Yahoo! account or get one.

5. Go here: http://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/

6. Eat a sandwich.

7. Forget that last one. I was just eating a sandwich and thought that it was part of the process for a second.

8. If you did happen to eat a sandwich, wash it down with a refreshing beverage. If not, proceed to step 9.

9. Go down to where it says "Baseball '09" on the right side of your screen. (NOT, I repeat NOT "Baseball PLUS '09)

10. Click that shit that says "Join a League"

11. On the next screen, click "Join Custom". It should be the first possible selection.

12. Enter the League ID # which is: 285042

13. ...and the password, which is: "I Like Men", but it's all lower case and it's all one word and there are no quotation marks around those magical, magical words.

14. Click "Save & Continue"

15. Create a team name and click "save and continue"

16. Click "Register Now" to finalize.

17. If you're starting to feel embarrassed about joining a fantasy baseball league, you silly fuck, then you probably don't want to click "Register Now" right now. Go watch Urkel or something.

18. Now you are part of my league. Congratulations on your exquisite taste.

19. If you want to draft your team live, the draft will be on Wednesday, April 1st at 2pm Eastern Daylight Time, 11pm Pacific and 8am in Hawaii.

20. Enjoy (or die)
6:58 PM 
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20 Feb 09 Friday 

Category: Romance and Relationships
Radio Free Jon is back and better than ever after the gold rush. Today is Episode 12 and all I can really say is that it's going to be awesome. I am basically channeling my inner-Rob Gordon and I'm about to go High Fidelity on some motherfuckers. I'm gonna examine all the girls I've loved and/or crushed on before and I will try to figure out who is more of a fuck up: Me or the collective girls who have contributed to the constant shattering of my soul. I think it will be interesting. I'm hoping for a moment of clarity. Or at least someone will say "amen, brother" and make me feel less alone for a minute. I truly hope you enjoy the show and remember, if you can't make it live, listen to the archive. Mahalo.
Currently watching:
High Fidelity
Release date: 2000-09-08
10:21 PM 
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17 Feb 09 Tuesday 

Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
I have never stopped being honest. I have never stopped being myself. I have never taken the easy way out. I have never pushed anybody aside, or trampled over anyone so I could get my way. I have been good. I have always had the best intentions. If anything, I care too much. I have never lied to any of you. The problem is that I may have lied to myself a few times and that's why I'm stuck where I don't want to be. And it's time for that to come to an end.

I am 33 years old and I am broke--in debt, rather--and working at 7-fucking-Eleven. I am a winner playing a loser on television. I am letting Todd Barry push me around when I should clothesline him and go for the fucking title that is rightfully mine. I am letting assholes and pieces of shit belittle me. I am settling. I am moving backwards. But I'm done.

I am a starving artist and most of it is my fault. I mean I think I have done enough on paper to earn a wage, but I haven't tried to do anything about it. I have just whined about it. I even stopped writing for awhile. That's giving in. That's not who I am. That's not what a talented writer does. A writer like me needs to keep writing against all odds. I lied to myself. I started to believe the non-believers. I stopped hoping, believing in myself and dreaming. Only for a split second, but that was enough to set me back a couple years. But I'm done.

I am giving myself another month or two tops at 7-Eleven because it is the only source of income I have at the moment. I will do a better job at looking for one, because that is something else I have been making excuses about for far too long. It's true that after busting your ass for 8 hours, you don't really feel like looking for another job, but I put myself in this situation and need to get myself the fuck out. But even if I don't find something else, I think I have to quit, because the job makes me feel like shit. It puts me back in the place where I don't believe anymore and I hate that place. It's the most miserable place on Earth and I've been to Riverside. I need to hand out some "fuck you"s and a couple of "you're cool"s to my co-workers and never go back to that god forsaken place again. It's time to get back on the path that was made for me. It's time I got back, it's time I got back and I don't even know how I got off the track. The good life is waiting for me. Somewhere. I can feel it.

I will start writing again. And I will start looking for a literary agent and I will start making phone calls and writing letters. I don't want to make anymore excuses and I don't want to wait any longer. I have to try. I have to get behind the wheel and do my best to avoid all the obstacles between where I am right now and certain success. I'm not going to give up until I get a (real) job writing, because I know it will happen eventually. It just has to. Sure, there are people who don't believe in me, but most of them have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. I know real writers who are real people who really care who think I'm an exceptional writer and I have to start listening to them and them only and not let them, or myself down. I owe it to you and me. I'm sorry I forgot about that for awhile.

I need to get out of my mom's house. Sometimes I will leave for hours on end and just wander around so I don't have to be here. I can't say there is constant pressure, or that there is always a weight on my back, but it sure feels that way whenever I am under this roof and she is here. My mom is a wonderful and loving person, but she doesn't know when to back the fuck off. She doesn't know who I am. She doesn't understand me. She thinks she does, but she never has. She only understands certain things about me. But she has no idea what makes me tick and she has no idea what kind of gameplans I have. As far as she's concerned, I don't have one. She has no clue. I love her to death, but sometimes I think if I achieved success I would never talk to her again. I know it's a horrible thing to say and it probably would never happen, but when I'm staying here and she's constantly spitting in my face, (without even realizing it, which makes it even worse) I feel like a motherless child. I'm coming to the realization that I'm not really a loner. There's just not too many people I want to be around. I only trust a few people with my life. My mom is one of them, but she makes it hard to be around sometimes. And it would be nice to never have to rely on her again. I don't want her to think she had any part in me becoming Yokozuna. I want to achieve everything I know I can achieve on my own, with my own talents and own determination. I will only allow people who believe in me and know what I am capable of help me. Everyone else should get the fuck out of my way.

I am also looking for someone to share this all with me. Again. My turnaround is gonna be fucking awesome and you're gonna feel stupid if you didn't come along for the ride, because when you see where I end up, you might be kicking yourself for all eternity. I have met so many quality applicants. But I'm not sure if I've met the one who stops me in my tracks and makes it all come together for me just yet. A few people have come close. Very close. But I want to be completely sure before I get tied up. I can't settle anymore. I've been a good person all my life. It's time I got rewarded for it. I may have already met the person that will be next to me when I achieve all that I want to, but I can't be sure yet. It's kind of nice to be confused. It keeps me on my toes and it makes me realize that I probably haven't found exactly what I'm looking for yet. I'm dying for someone to prove it to me without even trying. I'm waiting for that person who stops all the confusion. Who stops all the bleeding. Who stops me from tossing and turning all night long. Who does all the little things right. And I may have actually found that person, like I said, but I'm trying to figure it out right now and it has been a very enlightening--and often sad--journey.

I have met some amazing women who have taken a piece of my heart. All of them, in fact. Some more than others. (You should know who you are and I hope you do.) Be honored if you have ever kissed me and if I have ever loved you. I am picky for a reason and the select few that made the cut should be proud, because when I kissed you and/or said I loved you, I gave you a piece of my heart forever, whether you want it or not. I will never forget you and I hope the same goes for me. I hope one day you can all look back and smile when you think of the days you had with me. And I selfishly hope a few of you will kick yourself. But thank you to all the women who have let me have a piece of your heart. (Not you, Janis Joplin!) I am honored and I may still not be done with you. Congratulations/sorry. And if I have broken your heart, as stupid as this may sound, please try not to take it personal. Chances are if I thought it wasn't completely right, then it wasn't. I pay close attention to these things. I weigh a lot of things out before I make decisions. Each one of you have been important to me in your own little and big ways, but I can't go all-in until I'm sure that there is a chance at forever. That's what I'm looking for. Sometimes I settle for less because I am human, but ultimately, I am always looking for the one. And if it is someone I have already met and already loved, then I can't wait for my moment of clarity. Slap me in the face if you're already sure, too. Maybe I just need you to tell me.

So yeah, here I go again on my own, going down the only road I've ever known. But I'm no prisoner. I feel so free now. I feel so me now. It's good to be home. Now all I need is someone to share it with me. And oh yeah, I need to reach all my goals and I need to succeed doing what I know I'm good at. Because anything else would be settling and it wouldn't be Jon. But I'm not worried. I just got lost for awhile. Please forgive me. I already have. Now it's time to get my shit together. It's only a matter of time. Honest.
Currently listening:
Begin to Hope
By Regina Spektor
Release date: 2006-06-13
6:59 AM 
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13 Feb 09 Friday 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
I actually have no good reason why you should listen to Episode Eleven of my show, Radio Free Jon. (Tonight, 7pm Eastern, 4pm Pacific) For one, I have no idea what I'll be talking about. Secondly, I'll be doing the show by myself, so you'll have to hear even more of my voice and finally, I haven't even been around here to read your blogs, or correspond with my MySpace peeps, so it would be rude of me to expect you to come listen to my on air shenanigans. But I would like to see you there nonetheless. I hope at least a handful of you show up. Thanks for the support and take care. Oh and find me over at Facebook (Jonathan Tashan Medina--no, Tashan is not my real middle name...) because I've been spending quite a bit of time over there. Thanks and I shall return to this site again eventually on a more consistent basis.
9:56 PM 
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18 Dec 08 Thursday 

Category: Music

Some tiny publication known as Rolling Stone recently put out an issue with Bob Dylan (overrated) on the cover and the headline "the 100 Greatest Singers of All Time". I'm a sucker for this kind of shit as I am a (shitty) music journalist in training, so you know I had to pick up a copy (and see where Dennis DeYoung would land!).

After seeing their list, I decided to compile my own for no apparent reason. I will list my top 100 here and in parentheses following my picks, I will show you where they were ranked in RS. I look forward to seeing whom you think I missed and whom you think I ranked too high or too low. Enjoy or die.

Note: Check out how many great singers didn't even land on Rolling Stone's list. I left a few "essential" names off, too, but most of those have to do with personal taste.

100. Anthony Hamilton, Musiq, Erykah Badu & Lauryn Hill -- These are all candidates to be the new kings and queens of soul, but inconsistency lands them at the tail end of my list.
99. Neil Diamond
98. Brent Hinds of Mastodon
97. Les Claypool
96. Damon Albarn of Blur, Gorillaz and the Good the Bad & the Queen
95. Arthur Lee of Love
94. Perry Farrell
93. Karen Carpenter (94)
92. Cee-Lo of Goodie Mob & Gnarls Barkley
91. Scott Reynolds of All, Goodbye Harry, the Pavers, etc., etc. -- One of punk's all-time unsung heroes.
90. Donny Hathaway (49) & Otis Redding (8)
89. Elvis Costello
88. Serj Tankian and Daron Malakian of System of a Down
87. Cat Stevens -- Current bat shit tendencies aside, the guy used to be King Midas on the mic.
86. Bob Seger -- Hit or miss at times, but when he hit, he hit hard and hit big.
85. David Byrne
84. Darryl Hall -- Quietly one of the most influential voices of our generation.
83. Israel Kamakawiwoole -- the Hawaiian superman lives on in our hearts and on this list.
82. Colin Meloy of the Decemberists
81. Shawn Smith of Satchel, Brad, Pigeonhed, Twilight Singers, etc. -- Prince's hippie lovechild. You might know him as the voice on that one Lo Fidelity All-Stars song that was criminally overplayed a few years back.
80. Billy Joel
79. Geddy Lee -- The poor man's Robert Plant (and Pat Benatar).
78. Liam and Noel Gallagher
77. Bruce Springsteen (36)
76. Tom Araya of Slayer -- The godfather of arrrrrgggghhhhh!!! Nobody could go from screeching falsetto to vicious roar faster or more flawlessly.
75. Maynard James Keenan -- A little too hit or miss for my liking, but the man can wail when he wants to.
74. k.d. lang -- It's called  Ingenue. Look into it.
73. Mark Lanegan of the Screaming Trees, Queens of the Stone Age, etc.
72. Layne Staley
71. Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips
70. Joe Strummer
69. Richard Thompson -- The first in a long list of fine gentlemen who should be household names but aren't, for one reason or another.
68. Bradley Nowell -- I believe he would have set himself apart from many others if he had stuck around longer. Fucker.
67. Leonard Cohen
66. Billy Corgan -- We were all on his jock a few years ago and we all know it.
65. Doug Martsch of Built to Spill -- It's a shame that I have to write "of Built to Spill...
64. Black Francis -- Yes, the Pixies are wonderful, but much of his solo work has been ignored and I am dumbfounded by this sad and mind-boggling fact.
63. Donald Fagen -- If this was a songwriter list, the front man from Steely Dan would be much higher, but his voice is also impressive and original.
62. Bjork (60)
61. Chris Robinson -- Muddy Waters, schmuddy schmotters.
60. Curtis Mayfield (40)
59. Brian Wilson (52)
58. James Mercer of the Shins -- His vibrant voice always trips me out and I think he's going to get better and better with time.
57. David Lee Roth
56. Jim Morrison (47)
55. Greg Gaffin, Milo Aukerman & Billie Joe Armstrong -- The frontmen of Bad Religion, the Descendents and Green Day, respectively, were the new voices of modern punk that helped push the sound into the mainstream, for better or worse, bringing melody to the fury. Keep in mind that when my friends and I discovered Green Day, led by Armstrong's ultra-unique voice, it was years before they broke. Greg and Milo should be as well known as Billie Joe, but that doesn't mean B.J. doesn't deserve his fair share of props.
54. Michael Stipe
53. Ben Folds & Elton John (38)
52. Isaac Brock of Modest Mouse
51. Sting -- Awesome when not singing about turtles or other stupid shit.
50. Van Morrison (24) -- Dines like a competitive eater and somehow still maintains that amazing voice.
49. Jeff Tweedy of Wilco and Uncle Tupelo
48. Steve Earle -- Stay tuned: His gifted son, Justin Townes might just surpass him on this list someday.
47. W. Axl Rose (64) -- Waiting to hear some shit on this one, but I've been listening to "November Rain" a lot lately and the vocal performance just seems to get better with age. Haven't really heard the new album yet. More on that later, I'm sure.
46. Chino Moreno -- His vocals are sex personified. 'Nuff said.
45. Tom Petty
44. Tony Bennett & Frank Sinatra
43. Al Green (14)
42. Jack Black -- Laugh all you want. Tenacious D's debut album is an all-time classic in rock music and not just funny rock music. Respect the tenacity and the technical ability. His singing voice is no joke.
41. Mike Patton of Mr. Bungle, Faith No More, Tomahawk, etc., etc., etc.
40. Joshua Homme of Queens of the Stone Age & Kyuss -- Another fella whose vocals just trip me out. The world has forgotten about QOTSA, it seems, but I'm still in love with their sound.
39. Jack White
38. Nick Drake
37. Little Richard (12) & James Brown (10)
36. John Fogerty (72) -- Somehow he and CCR get slighted when all-time greats are mentioned, but his legacy should never be forgotten.
35. Bono (32)
34. Joey Ramone -- Made punk rock more relatable to those who didn't have mohawks and attitude problems.
33. Elvis (3)
32. Paul Rodgers (55) -- Unfortunately, he was either performing with lackluster bands, or namby-pamby lyrics, but as far as voices go, PR could slay nearly every other vocalist who ever existed.
31. Willie Nelson (88) -- Red Headed Stranger is just the beginning.
30. Roger Daltrey (61) -- He doesn't always immediately come to mind, but the Who was in a word - phenomenal and all of the individual musical talents needed a voice to represent the one of a kind energy they came forth with and Daltrey was the perfect host.
29. James Hetfield -- Pre-Load the guy (and the band) was untouchable.
28. Jim James of My Morning Jacket -- You think this is too high now? Wait a few years...this guy has top ten potential.
27. Ozzy -- Sabbath....bloody Sabbath. Wow.
26. Lionel Richie -- The guy seems like an insufferable and phony douche knuckle, but his voice is undeniably perfect and accessible. There was a time when he was right on par with the world's finest and it lasted long enough to justify placing him this high.
25. Levon Helm of the Band (91) -- Again...it's a shame that I have to tell you he's from the Band. The Band is one of the most underrated bands of all time and Helm was one of the many driving forces behind their often unsung brilliance.
24. Greg Dulli & J Mascis -- 2 guys (Dulli of Afghan Whigs, among others and Mascis of Dinosaur Jr.) with unconventional voices who ruled the underground and should have had major crossover appeal and almost hit in their own rights before fading back into the subterranean areas.
23. Caleb Followill of Kings of Leon -- See: "Jim James"
22. Elliott Smith -- If he had been more focused, less tortured and if he had survived.... he had a chance at becoming an all-time great voice for every generation from here on out. Not much else to say but "fuck, man..."
21. Thom Yorke (66)
20. Beck Hansen and Johnny Cash (21) -- Beck paired with the Man in Black? Keep in mind that Cash covered HIM.
19. Eddie Vedder of Mother Love Bone -- Listen to all the magnificent live albums and rediscover the magic.
18. Mick Jagger (16)
17. Aaron Freeman aka Gene Ween of Ween -- There aren't very many vocalists as diverse as Gene. The man is phenomenal. He can go from lounge, to blues, to soul, to funk, to rock, to psych, to pop without breaking a sweat, though he usually does anyway. A shame that most people don't know, or don't understand the beauty that is Gene and Ween as a whole. See them live and you might just start to get it.
16. Chris Cornell -- Fading quickly, but hard to ignore his past greatness.
15. Robert Plant (15) of the Honeydrippers
14. Steve Perry (76) -- Corny at times, yes, but the criteria does not say anything about that.
13. Prince (30)
12. Paul McCartney of Wings (11)
11. the Bee Gees -- Every time I hear a Bee Gees song I just think to myself "If I had a voice like that, I'd have a million dollars tomorrow."
10. Freddie Mercury (18)
9. John Lennon (5) of Plastic Ono Band
8. Stevie Wonder (9), Ray Charles (2) & Sam Cooke (4) -- To be honest, I think Wonder and Cooke are much better, but I can't deny the impact that Charles had.
7. Bob Marley (19) -- Started a revolution singlehandedly and a huge part of it was just his voice.
6. Michael Jackson (25)
5. Kurt Cobain (45)
4. Morrissey (92) -- Ha ha ha. Looking forward to the feedback on this one. I stand behind my decision though and I'm sure ol' Moz would enjoy me standing behind him.
3. Jeff Buckley (39)
2. Bob Dylan (7)
1. Troy Bruno Von Balthazar of Chokebore -- No, this is not a hipster pick. He is truly my favorite vocalist and I know at least one person who will have my back on this decision. He is not a household name...not even close, but nearly everyone who is exposed to the music of Chokebore becomes a huge fan of Troy overnight.

I have lots of honorable mentions, but I don't feel like listing them here. I'd rather just post my top 100 and wait for the feedback. So here I go...

Currently listening:
Taste for Bitters
By Chokebore
Release date: 1996-10-08
7:56 AM 
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10 Dec 08 Wednesday 

Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

I have to apologize first for being gone. I've had a lot going on and just needed to be gone for awhile, but I miss all your beatiful faces and words and all the other lovely things that make you all so awesome. I hope some of you missed me, too, but either way, I missed the shit out of you filthy motherfuckers.

I'm actually going to switch profiles soon to one that hopefully promotes my radio show better. The show that I haven't done in a couple weeks. I've only done 2 shows in the last month plus. So I only have myself to blame. Also because the show sucks. I only have myself to blame for that. But it will get better, I promise.

I still have a shitty job and have no idea what I'm doing or where I'm going next, but I'm optimistic and positive for the most part about where things will go. I know something good is about to happen. I can feel it. But for now, things are fine and fine is a hell of a lot better than bad.

Besides work and personal/boring shit, I haven't been doing much that could be necessarily defined as productive. I haven't been doing much writing. (I'm not proud) I've been kind of in a haze. I'm just trying to figure out me and figure out life and figure out shit. It will all be fine, eventually, but right now the lack of direction and funds is stressing me the fuck out.

I had to do one of the hardest things in my life since we last spoke. Don't feel bad for me. I know I did the right thing, but I still feel a bit sick about it. I had to break someone's heart and it broke my heart, too. But then again, my heart already felt like it was broken for awhile and that's exactly why I knew it was time to go. I'm sorry, baby, but believe me, in the long run this will be the best thing for you, too. You probably already know that. You're a strong and beautiful woman and knowing you, you've probably already moved on and forgotten all about me. Ironically, that part of your personality is one of the things I loved about you most and it's the thing that will help you get over me and think of me as nothing but a piece of shit who wasted your time for a few months, if you remember me at all. (Sorry, y'all. She won't talk to me, so I have to talk to you guys. I've got to talk to someone about it...)

But I had to set you free and not just because Sting said so. I just knew that it was the best thing for both of us. I had no faith in me making you happy anymore. I didn't think I had it in me. It's not that I'm not a catch. I just wasn't your catch. I don't think I'm the person that can make you happy. I don't think I can excite you or do the things that will make you do backflips for eternity. I wanted to, but I just didn't think I could do it. You're awesome, we all know it and that's one of the many reasons it sucked hard and was easily one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

Top 5 Worst Things About Breaking Up With You
1. Because I still loved you more than anything in the world at the time. -- There is nothing worse than ending it with someone you still love. Part of me will always love you, whether or not you want to believe it.
2. Because I know we would have had a lot of fun together for a long time. -- I just knew in my heart of hearts that it wouldn't have lasted forever. Maybe I should have just had fun while it lasted, but it was a long distance relationship and it was just too hard to maintain it while not being able to shake the feeling that she wasn't "the one" and I wasn't her "one".
3. You were a sexy motherfucker and impossibly irresistable.  -- Sex isn't everything, but it's a very important element and I know that we wouldn't have had any troubles in that department. Yeah, I'm probably an idiot for ending it, but I just felt like I had to do it. I felt that way for so many days in a row that I just knew it wasn't right to keep it going. The only regret I have is that I didn't tell her sooner. I feel horrible about leaving her in the dark about my feelings for I think it was about a month or so. But the thing was that I thought she didn't love me anymore. It doesn't make it right, but I really did feel like she wasn't into me anymore. Communication people.... We all need to work on it.
4. I wanted to make you happy. -- I wanted to be happy, too, but it was more important for me to make you and your child happy, because that would have made me happy. I wanted to be important to you and change your life and make you smile forever. Instead of doing that, I upset you. I hated myself for a few days there for doing that, but I also knew that it had to end. Really weird fucking feeling. That's why it took so long to tell you. And I was such a pussy I waited until you called and couldn't even call you myself. I really am a piece of shit. But I also loved you with all of my heart and wanted nothing but the best for you. I still wish you nothing but the best and know you will find it with someone who is more compatible with you. I'm really sorry that wasn't me. I wanted it to be me. I really did.
5. Hearing you cry. -- I didn't want to make you cry or fuck your life up even more. But I thought I was fixing your life in the long run. Maybe that's a fucked up way to look at it, but that was the only way I could justify it to myself, because I didn't want to do that to you. I just felt like I had to, for the good of both of us. I never wanted to hurt you, but I'd rather hurt you a little bit right now than hurt you after you've invested years in me as opposed to months. It would have hurt you a lot more if it ended down the line. There would have been too much invested. I know that doesn't make it feel any better, but I just didn't feel like you loved me the same. I felt like I was giving more and I understand why you couldn't give me more sometimes, but that doesn't mean that I should stick around if it doesn't feel right. I feel bad about your situation and would have done anything to help and tried real hard for a long time to do that, but it just didn't feel natural anymore. I was sad all the time and I got tired of waking up and missing you and feeling lonely and not knowing if and when you'd be available again. But you made me happy for a long time and I thank you for that and everything. You made an impact that could never be put into words and I will be shaking that off for a long time. I don't mean that in a bad way. I just mean that you made the kind of impact that just can't be forgotten overnight. Part of you will be stuck on me for a long time, even after you've long forgotten about me.

The thing that sucks about breaking up with someone is that even when you know it's right, a lot of it still feels wrong, especially when the person you break up with cries. There's just no good way to do it. It sucks. I don't blame you for being upset with me. But I do hope you understand why I did it at some point. And I selfishly hope you'll think of me in a good light again at some point down the road and be able to look back and smile at at least some of it. I also wish that you would have remained friends with me. I hope you'll reconsider someday. But I miss you nonetheless and hope your life will be better without me there to complicate it. Good luck with everything. Hang in there. Be happy. Stay beautiful and awesome and amazing and strong and brilliant. Whoever ends up with you will be an extremely lucky man. Take care.

Love Always,

Me

By the way, everybody, if you made it this far, I thank you and I must inform you once again that I will be switching profiles soon and that I will send requests your way and keep my fingers crossed that you will follow me to my new home. Thanks in advance for your cooperation. I miss you guys a ton and can't wait for our new adventure together. Peace and goodwill to Men at Work.

Happy Holidays.

12:43 AM 
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22 Nov 08 Saturday 

Category: Music
For the tenth episode of Radio Free Jon, we have gathered the Geniuses of Love (Jon, Dave & Ryan) to discuss all things music and they will do so more magnificently than you ever knew possible. It will be like Dinner For Five meets My Breakfast with Blassie meets the Holy F'in Bible.

We will start off the show talking about the Flaming Lips the Soft Bulletin, one of the most groundbreaking albums of all time and following that, we will go off into endless beautiful directions and will make women and men everywhere explode with pleasure upon hearing our musical expertise.

I recommend any music fan tune in. (Unless you listen to shit.) The revolution starts tonight at 6pm Pacific/9pm Eastern. Enjoy or Die!
6:33 AM 
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Jonathan Medina aka Da Baddest Poet

Jonathan Medina


Last Updated: 6/14/2009

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Sign: Scorpio

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Signup Date: 5/23/2006

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