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August 25, 2009 - Tuesday
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Current mood:Kyle<3
Like I dunno' I'm just real bored, Kyle's playing a rented game I got for him today, God bless him he's trying so hard for me and I'm amazed with how well it's working. We've been through so pretty bad lows and some great highs...and if he keeps trying this hard, well we are going to go far.
God I miss Winnfield. I didn't have many friends but I haven't seen Sarah or Ashley or Ethan or Lacy or Tu or ANYONE for ever! You guys know I miss you...retarded Ran misses you ...a LOT. I never have any friends. What the fuck. The most I can get is people on My Space I don't even really know.
I'm back to reading fanfiction...currently into the romantic Drarry slash as you can tell from my fan vids. on my page. *Sigh* How typical of me.
I'm still a "bum" still haven't gone back to get my G.E.D. it's pretty bad...being a procrastinator and all...ever have those times when you think you could pick the world up and over but absolutely do not do it? Don't even attempt it? Just put the thoughts in the back of your mind..."oh, it can be done tomarrow"...I want to be so much more than I am, I am nothing...at all. I haven't finished school, the rich side of my family is about to dis-own me, I haven't been applying for any jobs...I just want to be so much more but all I have it text-book knowledge. Guess that would be useful if I "liked" school. I don't see the point in History tests or Math tests...what if I want to be a dentist? What the hell is passing history going to do for me?
On the plus side, I may be getting closer to trying to start my own business, I'm in no rush but I do have a dead-line for certain...things.
By the way, if you read this: Brian you are pretty awesome, and Albert I'm reeeally proud and pretty much inspired about you going to college :))
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July 20, 2009 - Monday
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Current mood:Hurting
Category: Life
You know that I am not strong, why do you guys step on me so much? I strive to show ya'll my worth and I am constantly stepped on, smushed like the dirt I guess I ammount to.
I love you. Please don't hurt me, I beg you everyday and you promiss not to and yet you continuously do. I have a fragile heart, and small things hurt me greatly...you know that and you use it to your advantage it seems like. I see people being strong everyday, and then I see myself breaking down over little things that you think shouldn't matter...but I just guess things affect me differently.
It kills me. I don't know how I keep surviving what kills me but I do and I am still here, heartbroke and crying so loud on the inside. I guess this is the reeal deffinition of "emo". I get so distressed over it that I ball up and I don't know what to do, I don't know if I should leave, or stay and talk music DOES NOT help, doesn't get my mind off the depressive feeling and thought of something is wrong and if I don't fix it it'll only get worse.
I just want you to make your mind up on how you really feel. I have flaws, but I try to fix them all by myself and it is hard. I make mistakes but I try my damnest to not make the same ones over and over.
Tell me you're true, and help me...I've always been willing to help you....
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March 2, 2009 - Monday
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Current mood:Kyle's amazing <3
Category: Writing and Poetry
Pinkle PurrTattoo was the mother of Pinkle Purr, A little black nothing of feet and fur; And by-and-by, when his eyes came through, He saw his mother, the big Tattoo. And all that he learned he learned from her. "I'll ask my mother," says Pinkle Purr.
Tattoo was the mother of Pinkle Purr, A rediculous kitten with silky fur. And little black Pinkle grew and grew Till he got as big as the big Tattoo. And all that he did he did with her. "Two friends together," says Pinkle Purr.
Tattoo was the mother of Pinkle Purr, An adventurous cat in a coat of fur. And whenever he thought of a thing to do, He didn't much bother about Tattooo, For he knows it's nothing to do with her, So "See you later," says Pinkle Purr.
Tattoo is the mother of Pinkle Purr, An enormous leopard with coal-black fur. A little brown kitten that's nearly new Is now playing games with its big Tattoo... And Pink looks lazily down at her: "Dear little Tat," says Pinkle Purr.
-from Now We Are Six
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