Hey,
       How's everyone doing? I'm Good. I finally got a job. I'm working at Round Table. Everyone there seems realy cool so i think I'll have fun.

Well thats about all i have to say.

So if u took time out of ur day just to here me talk about my new job you should go play in traffic Because listening to me talk is about as good for your health as getting hit by a semi goin 90 miles an hour.

Love ya,

Jordan

Disclaimer: 

The writer of this blog does not condone or claim responsibility for anyone playing in or around traffic. All trafic related injures are the sole responsibility of the reader or whoever pushed them. 

So I went 2 church 2day...like any other day...chillin...learnin...and playin some football...




and then i get home 2 some news that makes me wanna attack small children...



My dad was workin 2day and he was doin his bartender thing and then in walks eddy van halen...and my dad told him how i was learnin some of his songs so my dad calls me so that the VAN man himself could help me out...


AND GUESS WHERE I WAS...





CHURCH!!!!









KILL ME














KILL ME









KILL ME!!!!!

STFU ONE

Ok people stop posting goodnights on MySpace. It's not like MySpace is your damn husband or wife to say good night too.
Dumbass...


STFU TWO

There is NO SUCH THING as a MySpace Tracker.
It does NOT exist. So quit posting stupid bulletins like "OH-MY-GOD this WORKS!!!"
No, it doesnt.


STFU THREE

To the people who have like 25,000 friends;
Are you serious?
You're stupid.
Go play in traffic.


STFU FOUR

Don't ever post pictures and say: "OMG, I'm so ugly"
because if you were, you wouldn't post them.
If you do you're a freaking moron.


STFU FIVE

NOBODY cares about threats over the internet, so don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard. Fighting online is like racing in the Special Olympics; Even if you win, you're still retarded.


STFU SIX

Quit crying because you're not on someones 'Top 8'.
Who cares?!?
ITS MYSPACE!!!
If you really cared that much, you would pick up the damn phone!


STFU SEVEN

Who really cares if I don't accept you as a friend?
MOVE ON!!!
Don't send me another request or message asking "What's up with you not adding me?"
I don't want you as a friend, that's what's up,
Ahole....


STFU EIGHT

6th graders who have MySpace and look like sluts, and act like whores
Go somewhere else because nobody wants you here.
And Parents -
Quit blaming MySpace for your kid being a hooker,
she was a whore before MySpace, and she'd be a whore without it!

You can teach them bad from good but you cant make them be good!!!
Think about it!


STFU NINE

If you have decided to read this, you are a true MySpace Friend.
Real friends read their bulletins, except for the ones about those fucking ringtones....


STFU TEN

I say you go and pass this on and maybe it will finally get through people's brains


STFU ELEVEN

If you open a bulletin and it says something like repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost will rape you tonight, or some dead bitch is going to rape your mom - quit being dumb!


STFU TWELVE.

Myspace was created to keep up with friends.
Quit trying to check up on your ex!!
Come on, now, people, its called stalking...you might as well be sitting in front of their house with binoculars.

• When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
   
• Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
   
• Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
   
• There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
   
• When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
   
• Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
   
• A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
   
• When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
   
• Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
   
• Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
   
• When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
   
• How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
   
• Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
   
• In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
   
• Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
   
• If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
   
• Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
   
• The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
   
• A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
   
• Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
   
• Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
   
• When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
   
• While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
   
• Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
   
• When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
   
• When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
   
• Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
   
• Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
   
• Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
   
• For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
   
• Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
   
• When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
   
• Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
   
• When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
   
• Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
   
• On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
   
• Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
   
• Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
   
• In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
   
• Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
   
• Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
   
• Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
   
• Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
   
• Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
   
• If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
   
• Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
   
• Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
   
• Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
   
• The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
   
• It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
   
• You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
   
• Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
   
• The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
   
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
   
• Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
   
• When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
   
• Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
   
• James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
   
• Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
   
• Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
   
• Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
   
• It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

When you were 15,
your mom came home from work,
looking for a hug.
You thanked her by
having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16,
she taught you how to drive her car.
You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17,
she was expecting an important call.
You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18,
she cried at your high school graduation.
You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19,
she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags.
You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in
front of your friends.

When you were 25,
she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you.
You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 50,
she fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, she quietly died.
And everything you never did came crashing
down like thunder on YOUR HEART

ok so i left and went 2 vegas for like 4 days it was pretty sick...i was the only guy on the trip.....(smiles)..i was with brittany, breanna(i spelt her name wrong), claire, Katie and, Mom (not mine brittany's)...the first day we didt do much we just chilled and walked down the strip for a few hours..that was fun...on the second day u it finally hit me that being in vegas with four girls wouldnt be as fun as i thought...brianna broke out on hives so mom had 2 stay with her...katie, claire, and brittany dragged me 2 an exibit called the thunder down under..which if  you've been 2 vegas u know if a BUNCH OF HALF NAKED AUSTRALIAN GUYS posing in pictures with the girls...i got stuck holding them girls purses and after they were done the guy brit posed with blew a kiss at me...it was awkward...this is my longest blog ever and i havnt even gotten to the good part yet...lol....well on the last day I went 2 see the greatest concert i had ever been 2....HINDER, CHEVELLE, HOBASTANK, AND................NICKELBACK...it was awsome...hider and chevelle are a lot better than nickel back but still they where headlineing...so in the end it worked out with the guy 2 girl ratio....if i had gotten 2 the ticket counter sooner i would have seen journey and def leapord 2 ...but iwas 2 late...oh well


Peace, flow, and, soul,
Hollywood