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originally printed 01.26.05 in the Eureka, California newspaper The Times-Standard.
In good company, fat guys leave the city of God and clip their toe nails in the House of Flying Daggers, but with no subtitles or sharpened bamboo shiskabobs.
House of Flying Daggers
Durant: I walked into this movie ready to give it a XXL based on the hype, and maybe that was my problem. It was a beautiful movie, with sharp, deliberate contrasts in color throughout like blood dropping on snow and colorful costumes against an autumn forests. It's basically a love story in the fashion of Romeo and Juliet. The special action was nice but there wasnt nearly enough of it. I wanted "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" II, but what I got amounted to a trailer. There was also this set up for a huge all-out battle in the end that left me hanging. I mean, what the hell happened to the House of Flying Daggers when the government troops were moving in? My one word review for this movie is: Bamboo.
Rating: L/T
Faulk: Crouching Tiger, Hidden House of Flying Daggers? This is one of those "foreign" movies that's obviously set up for Americans with Eastern envy. A good movie, I have to say, that's makes most of its impression through visuals. There's clumsy plot development, some decent acting and thrilling battle scenes. The director, Yimou Zhang, could have safely cut 25 minutes from the movie without missing a beat. The Chinese title, "Shi Mian Mai Fu," could be roughly translated to, "Shes Mine, Mo Fo."
Rating: L/T
In Good Company
Faulk: With a name like Topher Grace, he has to be good. And he is. Grace who plays the likable and boyish Foreman on FOX TV's "That 70s Show" takes a leap that few in sitcoms manage to make: From 19-inch catharay tube to the silver screen. A smartly written and well-executed film, this movie fires on all cylinders until the end, when daddy played by Dennis Quad throws a temper tantrum and socks his daughter's boyfriend, who also happens to be his boss. How many daughters in this day and age would let their fathers off after that with only a simpering, "Im sorry"? Not many. To Paul Weitz' credit, the ending saves the movie with a reversal of ye olde 'good guy gets the girl' cliché. Rating: XL
Durant: You mean to tell me they couldn't change the name of the Dennis Quaid's character from Foreman to limit confusion in the film, being that that's Topher Graces name in That 70s Show? Every time they said it, I half expected to see Fez, Kelso, Hyde and the whole gang up on the screen. The movie was better than I thought it would be. It was like a grown up John Hughes film. I never really laughed out loud through the whole thing, but I guess it wasn't that kind of movie. I can't jump on Faulk's bandwagon, but it was decent.
Rating: L
The City of God
Faulk: There are more bullets fired in this movie than in the entire Grenada invasion. To me, the film was reminiscent of "Pulp Fiction" in the way it was cut and executed the first 15 minutes come back around at the end as a neat way to tie off loose ends and give the viewers a sense of closure. It immediately rockets to the top of my list of best foreign language films, despite the violence that at times did seem over the top. All in all, great flick, but not one for watching in mixed company. Fat Guys Mental Health Warning: No children should be exposed to this movie.
Rating: XXL
Durant: Finally, the XXL drought is over. This movie is the best gangster flick ever made. It''s like "Snatch," "Pulp Fiction," "Goodfellas" and "The Godfather" rolled into one, put into Portuguese and played by teenagers. The violence is graphic at times, but you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. The nicknames are the best, and you feel you really grow up with these kids. You don't find out it's based on a real story until the end, which makes it even that much better. The special features include a documentary that shows how it is the Rio de Janeiro slums exist today, and that the filmmakers didn't have to exaggerate too much. Gradioso!
Rating: XXL
DVD provided by McKinleyville Figueiredos.
Top five foreign language films
Durant:
1: To Live (Chinese/Mandarin)
2: City of God (Portuguese)
3: Rashomon (Japanese)
4: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Chinese)
5: Dreams (Japanese)
Faulk:
1.City of God (Portuguese)
2. Spirited Away (Japanese)
3. Leon, AKA The Professional (France)
4. Like Water for Chocolate (Mexican)
5. The Postman (Italy)
7:00 AM
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