 |
Originally printed 10.19.06 in the Eureka, California newspaper The Times-Standard.
We pulled this off the fax and hid it from the Letters to the Editor page so we can answer Mr. Thomas directly.
Here's the letter:
Dear Editor:
The caption on the picture for the Chris Durant/James Faulk review of The Departed is a warning sign in bright, blinking neon. The warning is: Only advance to the actual reading of the review if you've had your tripe immunizations.
It's bad enough that this undynamic duo are predictably crude but the capstone on their weekly movie review is that they are also so painfully boring.
I would hazard an opinion that there is not a man, woman, or child in Humboldt County who couldn't write a better review than the Fatguys. I know I could. For the record, that caption for the picture in the Northern Lights column was "The Defarted." Oh I get it. The Defarted -- The Departed. How clever.
Chuck Thomas
Eureka
Durant: Thomas' energy and enthusiasm reminds me of early Fitzgerald, before Gatsby.
His reference to tripe was a little unsettling at first, but upon rereading the letter for the 34th time I see why he chose the word ... it's a perfect fit! That's why!
Thomas' use of "undynamic duo," "predictably crude," and "painfully boring" all in one sentence is pure genius.
Saying that anyone in the county, including children, can write better reviews than us is a dagger he pulled out and following that with "I know I could" is the single thrust into the heart of the Fat Guys.
Topping the letter off with the tongue-in-cheek remark about the caption of the picture is a flawless ending and ties the whole letter off like a junkie's tourniquet.
Absolutely gorgeous letter writing.
Rating: XXL
Faulk: There are many ways to skin a reviewer, and our man uses almost all of them here. I have to give him a high-five just for taking it to us.
Tripe immunizations? The fact that tripe is a type of food, and not a disease, does nothing to lessen the impact of this scathing indictment.
Hands down, this is the best critical letter about me that I've seen in, like, three days.
The real victory here, though, goes to the Fat Guys. This letter proves it -- we have a reader! A real, live reader! Someone who looks beyond the sexy pictures to read the words printed underneath them.
Thank You. Thank you.
Rating: XL
Man of the Year
Faulk: If I wanted to get preached at, I'd go to church.
This movie obviously came about when some fan of "The Daily Show" was reloading his bong and thought, "Man that would be cool if John Stewart were president."
Well, here you go. But truth be told, this movie isn't as funny as the "Daily Show" and it makes the one mistake that political comedy should never make -- it takes itself way too seriously. That takes most of the laughs away and leaves the viewer with a preachy message from a guy whose political opinions matter about as much as my thoughts on oil painting.
Rating: M
Factotum
Durant: Only a real die-hard Bukowski fan would probably leave the theater satisfied.
I like Bukowski, I'm a fan, I've written a screenplay adaptation of one of his stories, but even I was looking at my watch about an hour into this one.
Matt Dillon is OK, but nowhere near Mickey Rourke's Henry Chinaski in 1987's "Barfly." Occasionally, with Dillon, you caught a whiff of Bukowski's voice and style, like someone was baking a Bukowski pie a few houses down the street. With Rourke it was like Bukowski pie was being baked in your own kitchen.
The movie lagged and dragged and sagged, like Bukowski did.
I felt like I was leaving a bar after drinking since 10 a.m. when I left the theater, so much so that I didn't even drive home.
Rating: L
Check out our other rolls:
* The Fat Guys shelves at the McKinleyville AND NOW ARCATA! Figueiredo's.
* Saturday's at 3 p.m. on 94.1 KSLG for the Fat Guys segment.
* Subscribe now for instant access to Fat Guy reviews!!
8:46 PM
Powered by  | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|