Sorry, I just couldn't help but use that title once I thought of it.

Conversation with secretary at modeling agency, when I told her I don't like fish--she took it to mean I never tried it, as do a lot of idiots:

"You should experience what life has to offer."

"I've spent my whole life finding my limitations. I'm quite happy with them."

I was quite happy with this tête-à-tête. . . until she shrugged and said, "Whatever." Do you spend most of your life wondering "Why do I bother?" too?

And don't ya hate lugging an umbrella all day and not having a chance to use it? It rained plenty during the day and night Saturday, but never on me.

Less people on the Wilshire Express than the bus I took from Pasadena in the morning. And isn't it odd how empty Wilshire Blvd. is on nights and weekends?

Way early for the 8:30 concert in Santa Monica, so I got off at the Promenade and walked slowly. It actually took me 40 minutes to get to the pier, although half of that was in Circuit City to check the digital cameras--and use the restroom. It was just starting to sprinkle when I got to the Rusty's Surf Shack, which turned out to be tiny! Only enough room for 3 screens, but still enough to give it a sports bar typa feel. I'm positive my blonde waitress was German, but she didn't acknowledge when I said "Danke."

Does that ad say "Black Sprite" or "Black Strike?" I'd drink the first one if it was licorice flavored. In the restroom was a chalkboard, possibly for the patrons to write something, though I usually get out of public restrooms as soon as possible, for a number of reasons. I was there long enough to notice. . . Ever seen those car stickers with a mean looking little kid taking a piss while he's glaring at you over his shoulder? That's what this was, except instead of a kid, it was Yoda! That was disappointing from the Jedi Master. . .

First time seeing my buddy Genevieve (http://www.myspace.com/genevievesmusic) with a band, so she got to release her inner diva--which is both considerable and formidable--as she stepped out from behind the keyboard. She mentioned her dress ripped as she was heading out the door, so she had to try something else, which turned out to be a red Geisha-like (her words) very tight dress with red heels, fishnet stockings showing through the side slit, and black elbow gloves. If that dress was her second choice, I wanna see the first one! I'd also never seen her with her hair up, though in a way I can't describe; maybe she'll come on here and explain that. Also with her, though not on her, were two guitarists--one of whom played electric guitar the whole way and the other switched between electric, acoustic, and mandolin--cammo-painted bass, drummer, and keyboardist with a faux-hawk and tie. She also told me one of her birthday gifts had been tickets to "Wicked," and if any of you know her, you'd agree with me that she'd be a natural for the lead. . . right down to the green skin. {Yeah, that's gonna cost me, but ya know what. . . worth it!}

As usual Miss G-Spot couldn't shut up between songs, so she had to drop the next to last song. Also in the house was Denise Vasquez (http://www.myspace.com/denisevasquez), returning the favor, since Genevieve went to her concert the night before.

1 I'm Going Down

Had a sweater to hide most of the dress and keep it as a surprise, and also to strip it off when she got into her groove, going all slinky; someone in the crowd said, "What kinda show is this?" So an appropriate choice for the first song. Big growl on the last chorus, and the sound/lighting guy was right on as he ended her on the spotlight.

2 Blissful Oblivion

She mentioned how great it was bringing her own mic, because in one song she'd gotten lipstick all over it--"Looks like someone died on this microphone!" Then she did a routine on her Japanese-style dress which ended with an expected "Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto." This is a bouncy song that is unlike most of her stuff, and I'm not surprised she doesn't play it when it's just her on the keyboard. After she did a rant: "I don't know how people wear heels!" They kept her from doing much swinging, so she mostly swayed. No one complained about that, though; she moves like a lady. . .

3 The Bayou

A baby in the back whines right on cue as she explains about this no-longer-there hole-in-the-wall in D.C. This time the Joisey goil didn't mention it was her Bruce Springsteen song. She did change the lyrics right away to "Rusty's Surf Shack," which I'm sure no one who worked there heard. The guy on lights started her on spotlight and brought them up at the right moment like he'd known it was going to happen, so good for him. Problem was she kept a hand on the mic stand, which blocked the view of her face most of the time; she really didn't feel comfortable on those heels. Anyway, yeah, this song is much better with all those instruments, though I'd listen to her doing anything a cappella, even the phone book {hopefully that earned me at least a t-shirt}.

4 Jim Beam

She did not make fun of me this time, either on this song or throughout the whole show, so it was much more enjoyable. More of a groove with the band, giving her plenty of chances to ham it up as only she can; she's really loving this! Calls this her "total bar song," but again, no one at the bar was paying attention.

5 House of the Rising Sun

She said this would be the "swamp version" of the famous tune, though no one knew what that meant, including the band. Then she added there were swamps in New Jersey--some of the people at my table were from there as well--but those swamps only held bodies. And of course the title dovetailed perfectly with her dress and the whole Japanese vibe. It really was too bad that she didn't slink around on this one, and yeah, those heels were a good four thin inches. Big smile while looking down as the pianist has a big solo, and on the last chorus both she and the guitar had a lovely growl. At the end the drummer was the first to say it hadn't really been swampy.

6 Life Remains the Same

A story about breaking a TV on the first day she spent at a friend's house. This is probably my least favorite of hers, but I can't really explain why. "You've got to change or life remains the same." Yeah.

7 I Left the Light On

"This is the saddest song ever, not a real holiday song." Just her with the keys to start, then the acoustic guitar comes in nicely. She'd given out the lyrics beforehand to make this a holiday singalong, and really, Ha! On a 9/11 song! "We're skipping verse 3, go on to verse 4," except it wasn't listed as such on the paper. Not that I heard anyone singing along, not even pro singer Denise across the table from me. At the end Russ yells, "Happy Holidays!" He looks so studious, but he's a naughty boy.

8 So Good For Me

Back to Naw Ahlins (New Orleans!) for this one, starting with a screaming guitar that gives the song a different vibe. There was a bass solo in there too, causing a lot of bendy-knee shimmies in that tight red dress. "I have guitar envy," she sighed, though part of that is because she hates lugging the keyboard around. Ended with a strange but nice drone on the guitar.

9 Meant To Love You

"The mandolin's already out of tune and you haven't played it yet?" So a moment for that, and to remind the sound guy to turn on the special mic set up for the 1917(A.D.) tiny eight-stringer. In the meantime she told everyone about spending the morning playing with a three-month-old lion cub, which made her want to move to Africa; let's hope she asks me about that before actually doing it. And yeah, she realized they grow up after a while. One of her few love songs, and wow, she bent all the way down to almost-kneeling in that dress; she really used to do gymnastics! At this point she was finally told about her hand on the mic stand blocking the view; her reply: "You tell me this so late in the game?" Yeah, classic Genevieve. Really high-pitched rapid strumming on the tiny guitar-like creature, and then at the end she smiled and dramatically whispered, "And the mandolin fades away. . ."

10 Empty

"I don't have many happy songs. I'm the youngest of five in an Italian-American family, you do the math." More classic discourse, though the song really did come out more bouncy and upbeat than I remember.

11 Talk to Me

Since I didn't know the next song I ran off to the restroom, but she skipped that one to go to the last. Luckily they had to change the mic stand over to the keyboard for her, so I got out in time. She said "Paul comes to all the shows," except this is the song in the last concert where she made fun of my for missing the previous show. Hmph! Though I thought it was funny that on the recording she sings "Talk To Me," skips it on the next line, then sings it again; I always sing the part she skips, and in concert she sang it too. (I know, you had to be there) Ended her most serious song with "You can come. . . talk to me. . . after the show."

Or you might have, except for the fact that pretty much as soon as she got off the stage, she took Denise off for "girl talk." Despite my intense curiosity, I wasn't about to ask. . .

My voice was gone after all the talking before and after the concert, but somehow on the ride to the subway--Thanks Denise and Randy!--it came back. That's never happened before.

Guy on subway getting off while doing the chicken dance to whatever's on his headphones. I was too startled to laugh.

Phew, now I know why Miss G doesn't do many band shows--her fans need time to recover!

And as a perfect coda, here's what Miss G wrote to me: I hope I didn't scare you. I get all kinds of worked up with a band...especially when I have a great outfit to boot.

And we'll end this latest attempt at future literature with another conversation, this misty Monday morn (no, wait, it's sunny), this time with a model, which pretty much tells ya exactly how I feel about Christmas:

"You've been a naughty girl."

She nodded furiously, then smiled. "Nothing Santa could bring me would equal the fun I had being naughty."

And even though I loved it, I couldn't let it go without saying, "That should be on a greeting card."

{P. to the S. don't forget to look at all the new pictures in my photo section!}