Saturday night was championship night in Portland, OR for the Rose City Rollers. It was a night of hard hitting, fast skating and wild twists that a lot of people didn't see coming. And as always, it was held in a jam-packed Expo Center…I would guess that there were more people in there last Saturday night than there were for either last seasons championship bout or the Rose City/Rat City bout last January.

Guns N Rollers vs. High Rollers

To start the game off, November Pain took the jammers cap to get things going in her last game as a member of the GNR (at least for a little while…she'll be back once she completes some other commitments) against Candy Warhole. Even though Warhole broke out of the pack first, it was November Pain who was able to earn the lead jammer status and skated her way to a 7-3 decision. But the High Rollers showed some nice teamwork early as the blockers cracked open a huge hole for Madame Bumpsalot to break through in the second jam and skate her way to a 4-0 decision over Itzo EZ to tie the game up at 7-7. The High Rollers momentum continued into the 3^rd jam as Bunny Lepowski picked up lead status and skated off with a 3-0 run over rookie Aurora Brutalis. But all-star November Pain had an answer in the 4^th jam as she raced out of the pack with lead status on her way to a 4-0 score over Buster Spines. But the lead was swapped once again in the 5^th jam as the High Rollers blockers once again held GNR jammer Itzo EZ at bay while Intensive Scare picked up lead status and raced away with a grand slam 5-0 victory. Madame Bumpsalot picked up the lead status over Rolla Reina in the 6^th, but some nice blocking by GNR's Rocket Mean held her to only two points, which Reina equaled on that jam. Bunny Lepowski snagged lead status in the 7^th jam, but had to call it off on her scoring run after only picking up a single point thanks to some more stubborn GNR blocking. Down by a score of 18-13, the Guns N Rollers started making their comeback with back-to-back 4-0 jams with Itzo EZ and November Pain picking up lead status in each of those runs. After a run like that, the typical High Rollers reaction in the past would have been to fold up shop and call it a night. But this wasn't just any other night! Madame Bumpsalot came right back and picked up a 3-1 score over lead jammer Rolla Reina in the 10^th. After a 0-0 draw between Intensive Scare and Itzo EZ in the 11^th, Bunny Lepowski gave the High Rollers the lead back at 24-22 with her 3-0 skate over Aurora Brutalis. But once again, November Pain wouldn't be denied as she picked up lead status, reeled off 4 points and called the jam off before Candy Warhole could pick up any points of her own. And to close the first half off, Angry Wrench and Madame Bumpsalot skated to a 1-1 draw (even though Bumpsalot was hammered with a huge hit by Jett Scream during one pass). Going into halftime, the Guns N Rollers held a slim 27-25 lead.

After Lepowski's 3-0 score in the 12^th jam of the first half, Diva State of the Dockyard Derby Dames came up to me and said "can you believe the High Rollers are in the lead"? I told her after that "well, they've had the lead before…we'll see if they can do anything with it".

That question was answered early and with authority! November Pain and Madame Bumpsalot lined up against each other to start the second half. They both broke out of the pack and raced around back to the rear of the pack. But after passing one High Roller blocker, Pain was whistled off the track and led to the penalty box. With all the stars properly aligned, Bumpsalot went crazy and hauled ass to an absolutely amazing 18 point jam to give her perpetually underdog squad a commanding 43-28 lead! With November Pain starting the 2^nd jam still in the box, Candy Warhole was able to pick up lead status and roll away with another High Rollers win at 4-2. Penalty trouble continued to haunt the Guns N Rollers as Rolla Reina was whistled off the track, enabling Bunny Lepowski to pick up a grand slam 5-0 run in the 3^rd. But even though Rolla Reina stared the 4^th jam in the box, her time ended early enough in the jam that she was able to race through the pack first, snag lead status and come away with a 2-0 decision over Intensive Scare. After a 4-4 draw between Madame Bumpsalot and Itzo EZ in the 5^th, November Pain once again stepped it up for her GNR squad and came away with a 7-4 win over Bunny Lepowski in the 6^th. Aurora Brutalis was able to earn the lead status in the 7^th, but the penalty bug hit GNR again as she was called off before she could pick up any points. Although in a lucky twist, Buster Spines was unable to capitalize on her opponents misfortune and didn't score any points of her own. Bunny Lepowski tried to take advantage of Aurora Brutalis still being in the box to start the 8^th jam, but could only add one point to the HR's lead with a 4-3 decision. Itzo EZ tried to kick-start a Guns N Rollers comeback in the 9^th as she picked up lead jammer status and came away with a 4-0 run over Madame Bumpsalot to pull GNR back to within a score of 64-50. Hurricane Skatrina came out of the pack first with lead status in the 10^th, but used that valuable status to call the jam off after November Pain went racing by her and saved a 0-0 run. With time running out, Itzo EZ picked up the lead jammer status, but was still outscored by Bunny Lepowski to the tune of 4-3. And in what would prove to be the final jam of the bout, Madame Bumpsalot came out of the pack first, but November Pain was the skater who wore the lead status. But it didn't matter since each all-star picked up 4 points before the final horn blew. And when it did, after two long seasons…..

…..THE HIGH ROLLERS WON!!!!

By the final score of 72-57!

THREE STARS

3. November Pain. She was skating out there like it was her last game. Which it was for the time-being…at least for GNR. Contrary to what was said over the PA, she will be skating for the Wheels of Justice on November 17^th (really, how ironic is that???) against Baltimore's Charm City travel team. And she made the most of it by not only skating her best game as a jammer that I've seen all year, but also coming through as a key blocker when called upon. Hopefully she'll keep her skating in good order during her sabbatical…not to mention keeping on practicing some of those sweet air guitar moves I've taught her J

2. Bunny Lepowski. She skated seven times as jammer on the night, and was never shutout in any of them. Her low was a one point jam, her high was the 5-0 grand slam. The other five jams were all consistent 3-4 point runs that definitely kept her opponents in check. A low-key, yet extremely meaningful night at the rink for Bunny.

1. Madame Bumpsalot. If you were to erase that 18-1 jam to start the second period, the Guns N Rollers would have won by a score of 56-54. But this ain't figure skating, so we don't eliminate the highest score from the total! She should at least….AT LEAST….be the Rose City Rookie of the Year. But I've been saying all season long that she should also be strongly considered as the league MVP. She was an early shot of strongly needed medicine into the High Rollers team early on this season. But without her…even though the High Rollers are continuing to get better and better as a team…I don't think they win this game and they go into next season with that monkey still on their back. And to me, that's what a most VALUABLE player is all about.

The Guns N Rollers didn't play a bad game at all. Really, as happens in many bouts from coast to coast, about a 5 minute spell of penalty trouble early in the 2^nd half pretty much doomed their chances. Defensively they played a pretty tight game, but I think they could have used a more physical presence out there from time to time….a blocker who could have knocked one of the High Rollers jammers into Never Never Land once or twice. Aurora Brutalis will develop into a very solid jammer next season. But with the loss of November Pain, you have to think that they might be back in the same boat as this season with Itzo EZ being their next most reliable jammer. A 2008 squad with Pain, EZ and Brutalis would look an awful lot like this seasons Break Neck Betties team. But without Pain, it'll be interesting to see if someone already there can step it up or if they can find another skater from the Fresh Meat team that will be effective in her first year.

Well, the High Rollers finally did it! Really, I'm not sure which on-track celebration was wilder…the one after the championship game or the one after the High Rollers win (lol). From what I heard from a couple of people at the after party, they had been working really hard over the last couple of months to pull this night off. And all that hard work paid off big time! They have a decent team of skaters out there…Bumpsalot, Lepowski, Trixie Fairlane, Hurricane Skatrina, Bitch Slap Bella, et al. Hopefully they will keep on improving over the off season and maybe, just maybe, they might sneak up on the rest of the pack next season and make some real noise. And I'm sure they will if they keep playing with the same level of intensity and focus that they played with on Saturday night!

Rose City Roller Championship Bout:

Heartless Heathers vs. Break Neck Betties

The two teams loaded up their big guns for the first jam of the night as Goodie Two Skates and D. Konstructor lined up against each other to start things off. Two Skates broke away with lead jammer status, but DK was hot on her heels and they ended the jam in a 3-3 tie. Jam number two saw Scratcher in the Eye break away from the pack with lead status and skate away with a 4-0 run over Ava Sk8trix. The Heathers blockers did another great job to start the 3^rd jam as Vominatrix skated through the pack first, but it was the Betties Rhea DeRange who later picked up the lead title and called it off before Vom could extend her teams lead. Blood Clottia got things off to a good start for the Betties in the 4^th jam as she snagged lead status and chipped away at the Heathers early lead with a 2-0 decision over X2Z. Betties Captain, Dora Doom, skated out of the pack first and picked up three points before lead jammer Scratcher in the Eye could call it off. But Goodie Two Skates immediately catapulted the Heathers back into the lead with a 4-2 lead jammer run over Blood Clottia in the 6^th, which was followed by Teq "Kill" Ya's slim 1-0 run over D. Konstructor in the 7^th which made the score 12-10. But that was the last time the defending champs would have the lead all night as the Betties took command with a devastating combination of solid blocking and big time jamming. Dora Doom kicked things off with a 5-0 grand slam over Goodie Two Skates in the 8^th. Rhea DeRange followed that up with a huge 11-0 run over Scratcher in the Eye in the 9^th. D. Konstructor earned lead status in the 10^th and used it to take home a 5-4 decision over Vominatrix. Blood Clottia kept the Betties scoring parade rolling along with a convincing 3-0 score over Goodie Two Skates in the 11^th. And after a 0-0 draw between Rhea DeRange and Scratcher in the Eye in the 12^th, D. Konstructor finished the period in style with a late 3-0 run over Goodie Two Skates. After 20 minutes of play, the Break Neck Betties held a strong 37-16 lead.

The Betties carnival of carnage continued into the 2^nd half as D. Konstructor kicked things off with a 3-0run over Scratcher in the Eye in the first jam. After Ava Sk8trix called the 2^nd jam off before Vominatrix could score, Sol Train took the jammers cap for the first time on the night in the 3^rd jam, earned lead status, and came away with a 3-1 decision over Rhea DeRange. Goodie Two Skates continued to keep trying to pull the Heathers back to within striking distance by grabbing lead jammer and a 3-0 decision over Blood Clottia in the 4^th, but for all intent and purpose, that was the Heathers last gasp of the evening. Dora Doom cracked yet another grand slam in the 5^th by skating away with a 5-0 run over Scratcher in the Eye. The 6^th jam was the most exciting of the evening as Blood Clottia and Vominatrix scratched and clawed their way to a 7-7 deadlock. But D. Konstructor helped the Betties take the game over again with a 2-0 jam over Teq "Kill" Ya in the 7^th. Goodie Two Skates picked up lead status in the 8^th, but could only muster a 3-3 tie with Dora Doom. The 9^th jam was called off early as the Heathers Scratcher in the Eye hit the deck hard and was unable to get back up. So Rhea DeRange took the jammers cap for another jam right after that and came away with both lead status and a 3-1 victory over Vominatrix. As D. Konstructor was about to pile on the score a little more for the Betties, Goodie Two Skates used her powers as lead jammer to call it off at 0-0. Rhea DeRange finished the scoring in the Rose City Rollers 2^nd season by earning lead jammer status once again and coming away with a 4-0 run over Sol Train in the 12^th. Ava Sk8trix was able to pick up the lead status in the 13^th, but the final horn blew before either she or X2Z could score any points. The final score was Break Neck Betties 67, Heartless Heathers 33.

Before I get to the Three Stars in this one, let me say that it's damn-near IMPOSSIBLE to just pick three Betties for this! So please…feel free to disagree with me on these. Really, there are no right or wrong answers in this one. But here are my choices (after lots and lots of self-debate).

THREE STARS

3. Megahurtz. Just laid another consistent beating on her opponents all night long. But she's not a reckless hitter…everything she does is measured and can usually finish the job. If you don't want her on your team, then clearly you don't believe hitting has any place in roller derby.

2. Fran Checkya. She actually played a pretty clean game on this night (lol). She is always an awesome blocker, but I give her this slot due to this one jam late in the first half. I wish I could remember who it was she did this to, but she executed one of the best jammer rub-outs I've ever seen. She made contact with the jammer around the middle of turn one, positioned herself just right so the jammer couldn't get away, yet she wasn't holding or hooking her with her arm, and she rode her cleanly until her opponent was out of bounds and harms way. It was a textbook example and I wish everyone could have seen that done.

1. Dora Doom. Two grand slams on a night is pretty impressive under any circumstance. But jamming isn't even her strong point! She is also one of the better pivots in the game and she proved it again in this championship bout. Really, out of all the Betties, this is the only one in my opinion who was a clear-cut choice for this list.

This just wasn't the Heartless Heathers year. Although they were clearly the 2^nd best team in the league, they just couldn't find enough to stop the buzz saw they were facing in this bout. They are still a really good team and will be heard from loud and clear again next year. There is just too much talent on that roster for them not too.

This was, however, the year of the Break Neck Betties! Their offense was almost unstoppable (Rhea DeRange, D. Konstructor and Blood Clottia all would have been in the Three Stars on any other night…and all three could have been on this night) and the defense was air-tight (which was the reason I went with mostly defensive minded skaters for the list for this bout). In an amazing stat, the Betties held the Heathers scoreless in 16 of the 26 jams on the night! In derby, offense or defense doesn't win championships…overall team play does. And the Betties showed their mastery of it on this night!

CONGRATULATIONS BREAK NECK BETTIES! YOUR 2007 ROSE CITY ROLLERS CHAMPIONS!!!!!!