Melissa i know exactually where your coming from in all of this blog.  I wonder if i ever will find that special someone. Tho when i prayed to God he gave me an answer.  I thought i found that special someone at MSU, but things went really bad and it wasnt a good relationship because of lies and decieving and cheating.  I thought she was the one, but i realized that if she was....we could work through the problems.  But before i could even reconcile with her she had already moved on even before we broke up she was already with another guy. Love takes endless work.  I have no doubt that you will meet that special someone.  It might take a couple tries but you will. And he will love you for who you are...not the faces you put on to hide true feelings.  Dont get washed up in those faces to the point that you dont know who you really are.

You're not the only person that questions their faith.  I questioned my own faith in what do i really believe.  I saw how bad the world can get and questioned Gods motives for why everybody hates me. But somehow i always come back to God.  Way to many weird things have happened in my life to not believe that Gods plan is working.  I know that he has a plan for me.

You have always been a good friend to me Melissa. And you help me become closer to God throught youth group.  You asked me that question, "why dont you come to youth group" And i didnt  even have an answer. I thankyou so much for asking me that question, because now i am a better person.  Melissa if you ever need someone to talk to i am here and so are many other of your friends.

I'll be praying for you.     

-B-rad-

 

B Rad!! What it is yo?

Melissa i know exactually where your coming from in all of this blog.  I wonder if i ever will find that special someone. Tho when i prayed to God he gave me an answer.  I thought i found that special someone at MSU, but things went really bad and it wasnt a good relationship because of lies and decieving and cheating.  I thought she was the one, but i realized that if she was....we could work through the problems.  But before i could even reconcile with her she had already moved on even before we broke up she was already with another guy.

boo!! Girls can be bitches. I'm sorry you had to go through that, man. I guess sometimes guarding your heart is a good thing.

Love takes endless work.  I have no doubt that you will meet that special someone.  It might take a couple tries but you will. And he will love you for who you are...not the faces you put on to hide true feelings.  Dont get washed up in those faces to the point that you dont know who you really are.

That's probably the most poetic thing I've ever heard you say...I didn't know you had it in you! It's true that I shouldn't always put on a happy face, but sometimes that's all you can do, you know? And don't worry, I always know who I am. I evaluate myself too often to every lose sight of that. ;)

You're not the only person that questions their faith.  I questioned my own faith in what do i really believe.  I saw how bad the world can get and questioned Gods motives for why everybody hates me.

Ew Brad!! Why do you think everyone hates you?

But somehow i always come back to God.  Way to many weird things have happened in my life to not believe that Gods plan is working.  I know that he has a plan for me.

It's so tough to figure out that plan. It's harrrrrd!!! Way to go for stickin' it through though. I don't even know what His plan for me is yet! You will always have your rocks. ;) hahaha

You have always been a good friend to me Melissa. And you help me become closer to God throught youth group.  You asked me that question, "why dont you come to youth group" And i didnt  even have an answer. I thankyou so much for asking me that question, because now i am a better person.  Melissa if you ever need someone to talk to i am here and so are many other of your friends.

I'll be praying for you.     

-B-rad-

Thanks so much for all of that! I do what I can :) It's good to know that you'll be there if I need you and I hope you know that I would do the same for you in a heartbeat.

-Mel

 

Hey Mel,

 I know we haven't talked much since we both went to college, but if I can tell you what I found to be true for me when faced with this situation; it would make me happy because I don't like to see you down. Just remember, take what I say with a grain of salt. Whats right for me probably isn't right for everybody. When I found myself doubting God I remember hating myself for it. I would go into these really deep depressions that would last for months simply because, I couldn't stop having these doubts about what I believed in. This depression didn't go away until I actually addressed these doubts.

I found that when you have been brought up to believe something, you naturally don't have doubts aboout it until later in life, and by that point it comes as a shock. So feeling down about doubting this is not a bad thing; it is just a natural psychological reaction. The conclusion that I came to (the thing that stopped  me from feeling depressed) was that if I truely wanted to say that I believed something to my core; I needed to face those doubts so that in the end I know WHY I believe what I believe. 

Sorry if this is useless to you, but I'm sorry to hear that you are down.              

Take it Easy.

Matt

 

Hey Matt!! How is life?

It was NOT useless, in fact it's all very very true. It was just tough because as soon as I addressed all my doubt it was as if my faith was obliterated from all sides and I'm sure Satan was doing a triumphant little dance in their wake. But I did face them, once and for all, in this entry and the next night God reigned supreme and all my questions were answered and we both kicked evil in the face!!! WOOT!!!!!

I will take it easy these days and it was good to hear from you!

-Mel

 

Hi
It's Phil

You may choose to read my opinion seriously or just ignore it. I don't believe in a God.

I understand how you can have doubts because we are loosely christians or something like that. We were baptised and all that stuff. But unofficially I don't really believe in a God. I'm not here to convince you that you shouldn't believe in God but I do understand how to can have doubts.

My very reasoning for not believing in a God is that I don't think he would required me to worship him if he did exist. I simply don't think I need ot worship him to go to heaven. All I need to do is live a decent life where I help others.

I sometimes wonder why people need to suffer, and well my only answer to that is that we aren't truely alive unless we have obstacles.

You're 19 years old and you're single. Well I'm 22 years old and I'm single. I'm not complaining because my friend Christian is teaching me the art of talking to girls. It may sound silly but if it's going to give me hope and give me the courage to talk to any girl I see, then good for me. If I lose hope, that's when I'm less likely to meet anyone special.

I'm just telling you what was on my mind when I read your entry. So make whatever you want of it.

And trust me, you always have a choice, no matter what others say, you have a choice.

"Singing along to feeling alright"
That's my motto

People like it when you are cheerful, I know I like it when people are cheerful with me, and so I try to be as much as possible.

So take care and enjoy life
And I used to live life as though there was no tomorrow because I was scared that I would be kicked out of University but now I thinik I have proven to myself that I can do and I"m less stressed.
 

Hi
It's Phil

Hey FunkyPhil!

You may choose to read my opinion seriously or just ignore it. I don't believe in a God.

I understand how you can have doubts because we are loosely christians or something like that. We were baptised and all that stuff. But unofficially I don't really believe in a God. I'm not here to convince you that you shouldn't believe in God but I do understand how to can have doubts.

My very reasoning for not believing in a God is that I don't think he would required me to worship him if he did exist. I simply don't think I need ot worship him to go to heaven. All I need to do is live a decent life where I help others.

I kind of had a similar issue but, if you check out my newest blog, I figured it all out!! ( worship has never been a requirement to get into Heaven, btw. )

I sometimes wonder why people need to suffer, and well my only answer to that is that we aren't truely alive unless we have obstacles.

You're 19 years old and you're single. Well I'm 22 years old and I'm single. I'm not complaining because my friend Christian is teaching me the art of talking to girls. It may sound silly but if it's going to give me hope and give me the courage to talk to any girl I see, then good for me. If I lose hope, that's when I'm less likely to meet anyone special.

Don't lose hope! If I'm not engaged when I'm 22, I won't be too discouraged but if I haven't at least made it into a serious relationship by then I might start getting frustrated. haha I won't lie. Hopefully you've at least made it past that obstacle and if you haven't, well, have faith. :)

I'm just telling you what was on my mind when I read your entry. So make whatever you want of it.

And trust me, you always have a choice, no matter what others say, you have a choice.

That's true, it's just the way I was looking at it before.

"Singing along to feeling alright"
That's my motto

People like it when you are cheerful, I know I like it when people are cheerful with me, and so I try to be as much as possible.

So take care and enjoy life
And I used to live life as though there was no tomorrow because I was scared that I would be kicked out of University but now I thinik I have proven to myself that I can do and I"m less stressed.

hahaha Well good! I'm glad you're still going strong

Posted by on Saturday, May 27, 2006 at 11:00 AM

Thanks for your thoughts and for not just sayin "I dunno" or nothing it all. It means a lot for you to say anything at all :)

-Mel

 

I'm extremely tired, so who knows how coherent this will all be.

I wouldn't live life day by day.  I would live life like there's a yesterday, a today, and a tomorrow.  Sounds kinda weird, but think about it.  If I always thought there was no tomorrow, I wouldn't check my e-mail, I wouldn't eat healthy, I wouldn't do my homework.  Sometimes assuming that there is a tomorrow (and that I need to be ready for it) keeps me going today.  I understand about living in the moment.  We all do, and it's great, but if you believe tomorrow will hold great things for you, then you have something to look forward to today.

(no idea if that helps, doesn't even make sense to me)

I feel for your struggle with relationships.  To be honest, I think I'm in the same sinking boat.  I think the only advice I have right now is that sometimes in order to find the right person, you need to sift through some of the non-right people.  You don't neccessarily have to only date people who you think are the best candidates for marriage.  Dating is supposed to show you who has those qualities and who doesn't.  Long story short, don't limit yourself, just because someone isn't perfect.  If that were the case, you may never find them because you wouldn't know they're perfect unless you give them a chance.

(again, I'm confused, hehehehe)

I think doubting your beliefs is a natural thing.  A very natural thing, especially since we are human.  A cat is not going to question you.  A fish will always eat what you give it.  But, we are built to question things.  If doubts were not a part of us, we would still think the earth was flat.  This point in your life is the time when you will question your beliefs and the like.  I did, and still am.  I wouldn't neccessarily take to heart that you need to set in stone every facet of your beliefs.  They will change shape as you experience life and learn new things.

(now the sad part)

Sometimes there is no answer.  Sucks.  But it's not always black and white.  Hang in there.  And stick to you.  Even if you don't know who that is yet, calm down, and figure it out.  That's called life.  And you should be living it to it's fullest.  No matter what life/God/karma/higher power throws at you, you can handle it, I promise.

You need anything, call:

817-368-5675

 

I'm extremely tired, so who knows how coherent this will all be.

I wouldn't live life day by day.  I would live life like there's a yesterday, a today, and a tomorrow.  Sounds kinda weird, but think about it.  If I always thought there was no tomorrow, I wouldn't check my e-mail, I wouldn't eat healthy, I wouldn't do my homework.  Sometimes assuming that there is a tomorrow (and that I need to be ready for it) keeps me going today.  I understand about living in the moment.  We all do, and it's great, but if you believe tomorrow will hold great things for you, then you have something to look forward to today.

I'm a firm believer in seizing the day and sucking all the marrow out of this fragile life because you never know which breath will be your last and I don't want to ever wish I could go back and do things differently. When I say I live for today, I don't mean that I completely ignore yesterday or tomorrow in their entirety... I've just learned to not worry about them when I can help it; "For who by worrying can add a single day to his life?" I don't want to live in the past or the future, I want to live in today. :)

(no idea if that helps, doesn't even make sense to me)

I feel for your struggle with relationships.  To be honest, I think I'm in the same sinking boat.  I think the only advice I have right now is that sometimes in order to find the right person, you need to sift through some of the non-right people.  You don't neccessarily have to only date people who you think are the best candidates for marriage.  Dating is supposed to show you who has those qualities and who doesn't.  Long story short, don't limit yourself, just because someone isn't perfect.  If that were the case, you may never find them because you wouldn't know they're perfect unless you give them a chance.

Most people really don't understand my stand on relationships because it is, in essence, somewhat "old-fashioned" or "conservative" if you will. Trust me that it took hours of Bible study and talking with God to learn exactly what God expects from me in my relationships and that is better outlined in a couple blogs back when I was going through it all. Basically, I know that I'm not definitely going to marry everyman I date, but I will continue to get to know people to date them rather than date people to get to know them and save myself a lot of awkwardness, time and effort on everyone's part. :) And if it helps you understand me, I'll just say here that I don't expect anyone to be anymore perfect than I am.

(again, I'm confused, hehehehe)

I think doubting your beliefs is a natural thing.  A very natural thing, especially since we are human.  A cat is not going to question you.  A fish will always eat what you give it.  But, we are built to question things.  If doubts were not a part of us, we would still think the earth was flat.  This point in your life is the time when you will question your beliefs and the like.  I did, and still am.  I wouldn't neccessarily take to heart that you need to set in stone every facet of your beliefs.  They will change shape as you experience life and learn new things.

(now the sad part)

Sometimes there is no answer.  Sucks.  But it's not always black and white.  Hang in there.  And stick to you.  Even if you don't know who that is yet, calm down, and figure it out.  That's called life.  And you should be living it to it's fullest.  No matter what life/God/karma/higher power throws at you, you can handle it, I promise.

I know and I HATE it when there isn't an answer. But since my recent breakthrough (woot!!!) I don't really need any answers because the ones that matter have already been taken care of and my God kicked the rest of them in the face. Yeah!!!!!

You need anything, call:

817-368-5675

Posted by Jesse on Monday, May 29, 2006 at 8:33 PM

Thanks so much for caring about me and my life and the drama my heart puts me through!! haha sadly there was no sandwhich to give me the answers...I honestly think one day God just got so sick and tired of watching me run in circles (however amusing it must have been) and opened the gate which led to the Big Picture. I just kept my head down and kept right on running in my little circles, not even noticing Him. (because this path is my path, the only path that matters you see ;) ) All it took was for me to pause a second and look around me to see the open gate...how I'd missed something so obvious and so simple for so long is quite beyond me. I guess I just wasn't ready to run through til now. :)

And yes, it is entirely neccessary for me to speak in metaphor as often as possible. I think it's the curse of reading waaaaay too much growing up. :)

And Jose said something about road tripping it down to San Antonio so if he's driving, I'm going!! haha if not then I'm afraid I probably won't be making it out to any shows unless someone decides to go out to Dallas. (I'm not incapable of doing things on my own, I just don't have a car you see :))

Have a good night! Thanks for believing in me

Mel