It's been a long time since the last update, too long, and we're sorry. Oh come on don't act pissy, we didn't forget about you. Excuuuuuuse us, we were just busy kicking ass.

First off, thanks to Japan, Australia, and New Zealand. Here's what we learned during that time:

-People in those places continue to be some of the most insane.
-At The Gates kills it even after 12 years of not playing at all
-Any fear or creepiness created by having an actual pig's head onstage with you, dressing up like an evil hunchback, and pouring blood on a globe is immediately reversed when you realize that the globe is actually a brightly colored beachball of the earth(This means you, Mayhem. You go so far, why not go the extra fifty bucks to get a real globe? You have a pig's head on stage for Christ's sake! Hell you could probably get an old globe, with like the USSR instead of Russia, for like five bucks on Ebay. Nobody'll know. Stop slacking!)
-Australia has become the most expensive place on the planet earth. Their money is worth the same as ours, except their minimum wage is like $400 dollars an hour, so everything is marked waaaay up. Nuggets and a burger at McDonalds in Sydney was like $14. Craaaazy.
-The guitar player Dom Deluise or whatever his name is with the little peen complex from that band Disturbia or whatever they're called thinks that we care about them. Old news, but still funny. Check it. "My Ferrari is better than your Honda!!! Our stages come apart and travel with us and yours don't!!! We have thirty guitar techs and you have one!". Coooool self esteem barometer douchebag. Wait...what's that I hear? The sound of your band still sucking? Oh, right. Gotcha there, bud.

Enough silliness. We have serious business to get down to. Like a summer's worth of ass kicking! Here is our full summer schedule thus far:

EUROPE(Festivals, with off dates with Meshuggah and Between The Buried And Me)

June 13 - Download Festival, UK(Castle Donnington was a much cooler name, just saying) - Headlining some tent, get a schedule or a program or whatever, figure it out. We're playing at the same time as Kiss, so just find the band that doesn't look like a Halloween party at a senior home, that'll be us
June 14 - Club Tochka, Moscow, Russia
June 15 - Orlandina Club, St Petersburg, Russia
June 16 - Nosturi, Helsinki, Finland
June 17 - Rohre, Stuttgart, Germany
June 18 - Colosaal, Aschaffenburg, Germany
June 20 - VK, Brussels, Belgium
June 21 - 013, Tilburg, Netherlands
June 22 - Hellfest, Clisson, France
June 24 - Salzhaus, Winterthur, Switzerland
June 25 - Roxy, Prague, Czech Republic
June 26 - Progresja, Warsaw, Poland
June 27 - Club Vaudeville, Lindau, Germany
June 28 - Gods Of Metal, Bologna, Italy
June 30 - Palasport, Bolzano, Italy
July 3 - Sticky Fingers, Gothenburg, Sweden
July 4 - Quart Festival, Kristiansand, Norway
July 5 - Roskilde Festival, Roskilde, Denmark

NORTH AMERICA(as part of Warped Tour)
July 9 - Lakewood Ampitheatre, Atlanta, Georgia
July 10 - Central Florida Fairgrounds, Orlando, Florida
July 11 - Vinoy Park, St Petersburg, Florida
July 12 - Bicentennial Park, Miami, Florida
July 13 - St Johns County Fairgrounds, Elkton, Florida
July 14 - Verizon Wireless Ampitheatre, Charlotte, North Carolina
July 15 - Verizon Wireless Ampitheatre, Virginia Beach, Virginia

NORTH AMERICA(With Cavalera Conspiracy, Throwdown, and Bury Your Dead. We WILL be playing basically a full set on this tour, and if you aren't excited about seeing us and watching Max and Igor Cavalera finally play Sepultura songs together again on the same night, you shouldn't be reading this. And if you're a little sprout who doesn't understand why you should care about the Cavalera brothers playing Sepultura songs you might wanna do some homework. )
July 17 - Electric Factory, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
July 18 - The Palladium, Worcester, Massachusetts
July 19 - Irving Plaza, New York, New York
July 20 - Irving Plaza, New York, New York
July 21 - Ram's Head Live, Baltimore, Maryland
July 22 - Clutch Cargo, Pontiac, Michigan
July 23 - Vic Theatre, Chicago, Illinois
July 24 - The Orbit Room, Grand Rapids, Michigan
July 25 - WakeStock, Toronto, Canada
July 26 - McMahon Stadium(Monsters Of Rock w/ Ozzy, Serj, TESTAMENT, and other bands, did I mention TESTAMENT?) Calgary, Canada
July 27 - Myth, St Paul, Minnesota
July 29 - Gothic Theatre, Englewood, Colorado
July 31 - The Fillmore, San Francisco, California
August 1 - House Of Blues, Las Vegas, Nevada(me, Ben, and Asian Steve will  continue digging our gambling debt deeper on this sure to be sad day)
August 2 - House Of Blues, Anaheim, California(finally! real southern California Dillinger shows!)
August 3 - House Of Blues, San Diego, California
August 5 - House Of Blues, Hollywood, California

Thats all the dates for now. If anything new happens or changes, you'll hear about it.

The Black Bubblegum video is out, you can see it on our main page, on youtube, on tv at like threeve in the morning or whenever it plays. Check it out.

Internet only shirts. The first four designs, while we were very happy with them, took forever to get mailed out. This was due to a variety of things, but mainly just because we had never done it before and there were a couple issues we didn't foresee and then had to work around. We've got it all under control now, all of the designs so far(Fix Your Face, Horse Hunter, Particle, and Milk Lizard) have been mailed out or will be done mailing this week, we're still on the tail end of the Lizard shirts. After that we'll put up the new ones and they'll get out much faster, starting with Black Bubblegum and When Acting As A Wave. Thanks for your patience if you ordered and it took a long time.

And last but not least, the real gem of this blog. A little thing called "Win A Date With Asian Steve". Asian Steve is our guitar tech, and he did some editing work on Ire Works under the hawkeye of Steve Evetts. At some point on the upcoming tour, a lucky girl fan is gonna go out with Asian Steve, and we're gonna film it and put it up on here and you'll get into the show for free blah blah blah. Really the point though is to watch some sloth get shit trashed with Asian Steve and see how long she can tolerate him talking incessantly about whatever he talks about when he's drunk, computers and whores and who knows what. It's gonna be a mix of that show Blind Date and the MTV show where people get $100 if they can tolerate something inhumanly annoying for ten minutes. Except this time it'll be A.S. hammered drunk babbling for a lot longer than ten minutes. He's super cool, looks like a missing son of John Lennon and Yoko, and knows a lot about NIN, protools, and loves being an asshole to people. Sound like your cup of noodles? Then get in touch.

Speaking of being an asshole to people I wanna thank our tour manager Chris for the comedic gem called "giving the finger to random old people". Although probably a surefire way to totally fuck your karma up if you believe in such a thing, its also unbelievably hilarious.

Also thanks to our sometimes/former/who knows if our schedules will ever meet again merch guy Angel for something known as "the game", which is when someone has gotten food or a drink that they really really wanted, and they are carrying it, and you knock it out of their hand onto the floor and laugh at them. This also works with drugs, infants, and anything else that you feel is precious that you are carrying and really wouldn't want to see knocked out of your hands.

As you can see by the above, we go out of our way to surround ourselves with assholes.

There's a CGI prairie dog and a spaceship at the end of the new Indiana Jones. Why. Why. Why.

Love always,
The Dillinger Escape Plan