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Current mood:POPISM
Category: Music
So what exactly are The Chairs of Pop Power???
The Chairs Of Pop Power are one of the most important artifacts in modern popular music.
They are the place where pop music relaxes and gains it's space.
The Chairs Of Pop Power deal and create pure light pop gold inspiration, that if used correctly, translates into pure pop music success..
What's the history of the Chairs Of Pop Power??
Because of their power and desireability, the complete history of The Chairs Pop Power is difficult to fully know.
That is to say, their history has been deliberately shrouded in untruths and lies...
What is known for certain, is that The Chairs were held (until recently) by a group known as the WaWeWa (Walsh/Westlife/Ward) Dynasty.
Whilst under that ownership The Chairs were mistreated and abused to create tracks such as this....
and this...
Just how long The Chairs had been in the posession of WaWeWa dynasty is however not known....
The suggestion that Lionel Richie originally gave them to as a Christmas gift to Michael Jackson is currently being researched..
If I sit in The Chairs of Pop Power will I become a pop star??
It's not that simple...
Why not??
Much like the Sword Of Damocles, The Chairs Of Pop Power can cause the wrong owner more problems than they solve.
Basically, if used incorrectly The Chairs Of Pop Power can julienne your ass and do far worse to your brain..
Isn't this all a load of old bollocks???
No.
But what proof is there that The Chairs Of Pop Power create or control pop music???
3 days after The Chairs of Pop Power were recovered from then holder Shayne Ward (Britains very first winner of The X-Factor) the X-Factor 2007 final was embroiled in scandal that discredited the entire operation.
Accusations of vote rigging and corruption surfaced that to this day have not gone away...
The person who should of won the 2007 edition of X-Factor had bright white hair, despite being a very young man....
This is not a coincidence. Rhydian had white hair because (in a vain attempt to persuade the world that average opera style singing was pop music) he spent far too much time sat in The Chairs Of Pop Power
It's a known fact that had The Chairs stayed in the control of WaWeWa Dynasty, Rhydian would've sat in them some more and then won the 2007 X-Factor and that squalid competitions domination of pop would have continued. But they didn't, and the day they were removed was the moment that saw the begining of the end of The X-Factor dominance of the christmas pop charts.
Yes boss, it was that very weekend that many people realised the X-Factor dream was all but over. That something new, more genuine and more credible had to happen to pop music..
How did The Chairs of Pop Power come to be in the posession of The Paul Giovanni Corporation AKA The Futureproof Music Corporation??
Shayne Ward rents a flat off of Westlifes Bryan McFadden not far from the HQ of the PGC AKA The FMC...
After spending countless hours observing Wards habbits and his increasingly casual and uncaring use of The Chairs, agents of The PGC AKA The FMC found a good opportunity to pinch The Chairs from under the nose of Ward...
A swift and telling executive decision was made.
The Chairs were grabbed, and immediately removed to a secret location where they've stayed ever since.
So Giovanni, you've had the chairs for months now, why aren't you a fucking pop star???
The Chairs Of Pop Power take time to work their magic.
They're not like a lightbulb - you don't simply plug them in and see the light...
They have to be nurtured and encouraged like a child.
It's necesary to spend hours sitting in them, dreaming of and fully developing your pop concepts .
You have to offer them magic, sacred offerings and light to get any back.....
Then, if and only when, they feel completely comfortable, will The Chairs fully impart their knowledge and hit giving potential
Yes boss, The Chairs Of Pop Power MUST ACCEPT YOU AS THE RIGHTFUL OWNER!!!
Until then, they are merely just another pair of posh deckchairs without cushions....
 Horton Jupiter & Naomi Aurefeld engage heavily with some serious high light aura's atop The Chairs Of Pop Power in May 2008....
Is it a coincicdence that the next night their band They Came From The Stars I Saw Them play to a packed out house (on a Tuesday night), and perform an exceptionally poppy and well recieved set????
17:34
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