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Tori Spelling&Dean McDermott



Last Updated: 7/20/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 36
Sign: Taurus

City: Hollywood
State: California
Country: US
Signup Date: 2/17/2007
Tuesday, February 20, 2007 

Hi there!
    Dean and I are so excited to be gaining so many friends. This is fun!
You know what isn't fun? Plunging a toilet. The B&B is in full swing with renovations and there's workmen in and out all day long. So, I guess it was bound to happen. But, the thought of unplugging a porcelain bowl so graciously ladled with 230 lb workman waste at 8 months preggers was not a task I wanted to undertake. However, the bowl runneth over and over and over and Dean was in town buying lumber. So, I had little choice. Well, "little" NOT being the operative word by far. I had to give "McSteamy" kudos here...this was a two ton turd that seemed invincible. It coiled in ways I've never seen a snake do before.Good for him for having such a well balanced fiber filled diet but this brown beast scared the crap out of me! And, I'm NOT shit shy. In fact, I'm a Poo Fanatic and a fart joke fan to the extreme.I even have the childhood cartoon books "The Gas We Pass" and "Everybody Poo's!" proudly displayed on my mantle while my  unused copy of  "War and Peace" collects dust buried in my sock drawer.Hey, I'm a self professed and midly obsessed  Poo Lover and  not ashamed to admit it. Shits funny! Just not other people's shit. Now, some may say... HEY, your about to have a kid get used to it! But, somehow wiping the babysoft bottom of a 7lb little being created lovingly with the man I adore doesn't seem so bad. Neither does the collecting of mini tootsie rolls that shoot out of Mimi La Rue's ass everywhere she goes. But, this was ungodly. Yet, when I set my mind to a task I go full steam ahead. So, I rolled up my sleeves, grabbed my plunger, and dove in. I plunged my little heart out when suddenly a miracle happened... the toilet flushed! SWOOSH...and it was all but a distant stench. I was left repulsed and exhausted with a sore forearm yet somehow I felt PROUD! I mean...lets face it, growing up I never had to plunge a toilet . I didnt even know what a plunger looked like. So, it felt like an accomplishment to this girl. I strutted out of that wasteland with a new found respect for septic tank cleaners and a smile on my face. It just goes to show you--- When life hands you CRAP, you plunge away!-- Tori xoxo

☠Mrs. Rubert Busby☠
Tiffany Busby

 
Tori Spelling loves poo. This has to be the greatest thing I have ever read! lol. I was laughing my ass off sitting here reading this post, thanks for that! It goes to show that you never really know someone, no matter who they are! You're much cooler than I would have guessed (and I mean that in a completely respectful way,) I can't wait to see the show!
 
Posted by ☠Mrs. Rubert Busby☠ on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 3:38 AM
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Snobby Bitch

 
ahahahahaha
ur so great

 
Posted by Snobby Bitch on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 4:03 AM
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Christina

 
That's wonderful -- good for you!  I just bought the two books you mentioned for my 3-year old niece who makes my somewhat prim mother read them to her for bedtime...Ava particularly loves the Poop book.  :)  It's great hearing my mom read that one!  I also bought them for my 2nd grade classroom...the kids gotta learn early that everyone does it! 

Good luck with your last month! 

 
Posted by Christina on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 4:26 AM
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Denise

 

poo is helza funny .. I agree!  This morning my 10 month old baby girl and I were getting ready for the day and she was cruising around in her diaper for a while and she crawls up to me on the couch all cute ..  so I pick her up and plop her on my lap for a kiss fest and then what do I notice but a naked stinky booty!  I look around and sure enough a crappy diaper with a poo poo trail is on the rug!   She also had one last little nug that ended up on my pants .. I love her so! :)


 
Posted by Denise on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 4:47 AM
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Dulcie

 
You Go Girl!!! Best wishes with the baby. You'll see, your own baby's poo will be OK!
 
Posted by Dulcie on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 6:16 AM
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Brooke
Brooke Winn

 
LMAO. That's funny. You go girl!
 
Posted by Brooke on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 6:39 AM
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Stranger With Candy

 
Tori, fyi...baby poops really not that great. When I had my daughter home for the very first day, I took her in the bedroom for a wet diapy change. As I lifted her little newborn legs to wipe her...she literally shot crap right at me. The shit was projectile!! It went all over my neck and in my hair. I screamed, gestured to my mother in law and headed for the shower. My first lesson in parenting- kids crap all over ya.
 
Posted by Stranger With Candy on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 7:33 AM
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HI, I'm new to this too....but I have to ask politely if that is your real picture?
 
Posted by on Sunday, March 11, 2007 - 10:42 PM
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FeistyWriter

 
OMG! That was too funny!

Life is truly an adventure isn't it? Sometimes big ones, but often little ones that shape your days and personality... And your day just happened to involve a plunger! Great job jumping in there and handling it!

Cheers from Canada!

 
Posted by FeistyWriter on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 12:51 PM
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Beth

 
Girl.....You ARE right!  SHIT is funny.  Im glad im not the only one who thinks so.  I so enjoyed that little blog moment.  Something to start my day and enjoy my coffee....speaking of...Gotta go!  Thanks!
 
Posted by Beth on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 1:36 PM
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SusiQball
Sue Rogozinski

 

Dear Tori,

This is totally cool!   I totally love you!  I am a 39 year old mother of 3 and I was a total 90210 fan back in my 20's.  Even though me and my posse were older than the target audience we tuned in every week and talked about it at the lunch table.  You and Kelly were my fav's!!!  I've always  watched the "Hollywood Gossip" and enjoyed reading about you over the years.

Congratulations on the baby!  You are going to be so happy, really.  You have the same overwhelming love that my husband and I have (10 years running strong) and I hope it lasts forever.  Having a baby is just the icing on a perfect cake!  That baby will change your life forever, in the most wonderful ways of couse.  I can tell you this for my experience, and I always hated when people said this but boys...MUCH easier than girls.  For me anyway.  I have two wonderful boys and they were so easy going as babies.  No my baby girl...3 years old...much more of a challenge but we love every minute.  Buying pink is great!   I hope you enjoy every minute with you little one.  Cherish him please, as time goes so fast and in the blink of an eye they are teenagers and you will miss that child you first gave birth many years ago.

 

Good luck and enjoy!

 

Sue Rogozinski

Nothampton, Pennsyslvania

 and
 
Posted by SusiQball on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 2:27 PM
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Vajenna Stinkpoop [DF]
Tiffany Postlethwaite

 

Oh, gosh!  Tori!  You crack me up!  I, too, have "The Gas We Pass", my all-time favourite line in it, is when the little boy is in the bathtub and it says: "Bubbles rise, plip, plip, plip." 

 

Haha!

 

Work it, girlfriend!  You are tres' fab!


 
Posted by Vajenna Stinkpoop [DF] on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 2:48 PM
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Miss Boss
Candice Boss

 
lol that's awesome good job slaying the poo dragon. glad to know i'm not the only female out there that finds farts and poo funny.
 
Posted by Miss Boss on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 2:55 PM
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Ro

 
You haven't officially added me to your friends list yet but I just HAD to comment on this blog. OMG..how funny are you! Who knew?? I think I just may have to subscribe to your blogs. Hope that's ok.
keep writing!
Ro xox0

 
Posted by Ro on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 2:58 PM
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Stephanie

 
Good for you Tori!  I am WAY proud and LOOK how strong you are!  *beam*  I have always thought you were an incredible, empowered woman.  Now everyone else will too!  *hug* 
 
Posted by Stephanie on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 4:20 PM
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Cristine

 

Love it!  This has got to be one of the funniest shit (lol, I couldn't help myself) I've read in a while.  Keep up the hilarious blogging!  Go


 
Posted by Cristine on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 4:31 PM
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The Notorious Jen

 

Wow. If this is your attempt at winning over the public one turd blog at a time, well

 

CONGRATS

 

Tori, you are very, very funny. Keep writing.


 
Posted by The Notorious Jen on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 4:54 PM
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Ms. Memory Maker

 

OMG same thing happened to me a couple of times.  I have just done renovations on six beautiful Victorians in Philly. The workers would leave everyday cleaning the dust and ridding the rooms of their lunch trash. Then came the commodes clean and spotless on the surface. One could almost be fooled into opening them and drinking from the clear sparkling waters inside. Only you would find a bowl filled with the nastiest man marks ever made by a human. These construction guys can build a roof and paint like Picasso (sometimes) but still can not manage to flush a freaking toilet. Isn't that like the second thing you do after getting off of the toilet (first wipe then flush). I also know what you mean about the amount of poo. One time I had to laugh because I was like...is this guy pouring concrete or eating it?! I sometimes wonder if they leave it there because they are so proud of it and want someone to see how grand it was. It must be some sort of hidden contractor code nationwide. ..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Poop/Plunger Observation: Have you ever noticed when using a plunger before you flush the sometimes the poo is sucked up into plunger part. Where the hell does it go? I have seen large pieces sucked up to never re-appear again. Even upon plunger cleaning. Guess that's one for the mystery channel. Good luck with the B&B I have always wanted to open one. Just become a cliche by getting a house cat!!!
 
Posted by Ms. Memory Maker on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 5:00 PM
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Ms. Memory Maker

 

Meant to read: do NOT become a cliche by getting a B&B house cat!!!


 
Posted by Ms. Memory Maker on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 5:02 PM
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Amanda
Amanda Schroeder Hartsell

 
I don't know how to use a plunger either.  The toilet overflowed at my husband's parents house in the middle of the night, so I just sat there plunging wondering why in the world it wasn't working!  I thought that it would be taken care of the first time you "plunged".  Apparently not.  I was so scared!  My husband loves me to death, but I do NOT want him plunging the toilet that I overflowed!
 
Posted by Amanda on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 5:13 PM
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Little Red Squirrel

 
Well done - I am full of admiration.  It is not a job I would relish.
 
Posted by Little Red Squirrel on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 5:30 PM
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Michele

 
OMG that was so funny!  Always keep your sense of humor, it will get you through life's toughest battles.
 
Posted by Michele on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 6:50 PM
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Ali J
Alison Woodward

 
Too funny!  Find the book 'Walter the Farting Dog' for your little one, it's hilarious! 
 
Posted by Ali J on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 6:56 PM
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~tessa~

 
you made my day !!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Posted by ~tessa~ on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 11:06 PM
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darkirish

 
I LOL'd at this, the mental visual should be sent out on hallmark cards!  Any chance of so noTORIous coming back?  Or is Zachary Quinto too busy these days?
 
Posted by darkirish on Saturday, March 03, 2007 - 4:59 AM
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♥jax
Jackie Perri

 
I always knew you were my kind of chick. 
You are refreshingly honest and I love that! 
Can't wait to watch your show.
 

 
Posted by ♥jax on Saturday, March 03, 2007 - 1:24 PM
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««☆ºAmãndãº☆»»,,

 

OMG Tori!!

You are so funny. Thanks for making me laugh so hard.


 
Posted by ««☆ºAmãndãº☆»»,, on Monday, March 05, 2007 - 12:42 AM
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Niki
Nicole Rivera

 

Tori,

 

You Rock! This is absolutely one of the funniest things I have ever read. You are an amazing talent! you not only act, renovate homes, write, but now you are a mater plumber!! Or should I say MASTER PLUGER'ER...Sounds hilarious!

Keep these great stoires coming and GOD BLESS you on everything you do Tori! We love u!


 
Posted by Niki on Tuesday, March 06, 2007 - 3:54 PM
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Pennae

 
you are so funny!!!
 
Posted by Pennae on Wednesday, March 07, 2007 - 5:42 PM
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OnlineMom
Jessica Nicholas

 
That's one of the funniest things I've read in a long time!  Congrats, Tori!
 
Posted by OnlineMom on Friday, March 09, 2007 - 12:09 AM
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Eddie

 

Just like the *crap* story you told in Trick.  By the way, after that performance I decided you are  a comic marvel that bitches need to reconize, yo! 

 

Great job though.  Good luck with the new baby, when you finally pop!


 
Posted by Eddie on Friday, March 09, 2007 - 5:06 PM
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Sota's Finest (The Infamous)

 
You are too funny! I love your humor!
 
Posted by Sota's Finest (The Infamous) on Tuesday, March 13, 2007 - 5:19 PM
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sparkelize.com

 
freakin' hilarious...only you!  And you really should get into blogging for a side job....you keep it interesting and funny!  Life is wonderful!  Congrat's on EVERYTHING!!!
 
Posted by sparkelize.com on Saturday, March 17, 2007 - 6:02 PM
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Calamity Kate

 
Book to add to Liam's collection: Walter The Farting Dog.
 
Posted by Calamity Kate on Monday, March 19, 2007 - 8:31 PM
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Calamity Kate

 
Jeez, Tori, it sounded like a shittastically lovely experience!  LOL!
 
Posted by Calamity Kate on Monday, March 19, 2007 - 10:15 PM
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Jan~uh (that's phonetic)
Me Something

 
Be careful.  Oak Creek Manor was condemned once because of Septic Failure.  That whole little valley you're in has issues with the water table and perking.
 
Posted by Jan~uh (that's phonetic) on Monday, March 19, 2007 - 10:30 PM
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Laura Matsue
Laura Matsue

 
no, it's funny all the time. no kudos, sorry.
 
Posted by Laura Matsue on Tuesday, March 20, 2007 - 12:01 AM
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Thesis

 

Way too funny Tori. That's hilarious.

T


 
Posted by Thesis on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - 2:59 PM
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♥ Still Standing ♥
Sarah Gallaher

 
Hey..that's hysterical...I  have 5 older brothers,so farting was a bit part of my growing up.I'm grown,and I still laugh at having gas.And so what of course,life's too short.Laugh a little more..
 
Posted by ♥ Still Standing ♥ on Saturday, March 24, 2007 - 12:04 AM
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Kelly

 

OMG ....you are soooooooo funny.. I give you credit though I would have hurled. I couldn't handle things like that being preggo! (or not for that matter)..Congrats on the little one. much love to all

 


 
Posted by Kelly on Wednesday, March 28, 2007 - 5:08 PM
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♥B's Girl♥
Corinna Griffiths

 
HAHAHAHAHA! I laughed so hard I cried. It is so great to see a star being "normal". I love it! Thanks for letting us see that "stars" are not the only ones who have to unplug their own toilets! LOL
 
Posted by ♥B's Girl♥ on Thursday, April 12, 2007 - 12:03 AM
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Inkredible

 
My dog ate a half eaten Snickers bar (still half in the wrapper) off the street one day and two days later the Snickers wrapper came out in his poop. It was the funniest thing ever to see a candy wrapper come out of my dog's ass! Thought you'd appreciate that 
 
Posted by Inkredible on Friday, April 20, 2007 - 10:03 PM
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Heather

 
Power to ya! I could not have done it, I have trouble enough doing it when it is my husband. I can clean up my dogs poo all day but human waste is just ewwwwww.
 
Posted by Heather on Wednesday, July 11, 2007 - 2:23 PM
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♥Mommy♥
Jaci Holbrooks

 
u just talked about this blog on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson and i had to check it out and see if u were being serious! I cant believe you were!! thats funny. You rock!

Jaci
Proud Army Fiance
 
Posted by ♥Mommy♥ on Tuesday, August 14, 2007 - 5:17 AM
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caitlin.
caitlin wilson

 
haha this is to funny. i'm like cracking up laughing right now. :] i can't believe you wrote about poo. lol. well i guess i can after watching how you are on your show. :] your an amazing person tori. i look up to you soo much. xo caitlin
 
Posted by caitlin. on Saturday, July 12, 2008 - 12:50 PM
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