i dont know WHAT was going on at my .com but its wierd My Space is far safer and im far happier with my guys here- i really think theyre senistive to what im into and what im doing when they design the space - no its not some multi million dollar site but that will come later- im very very happy with the job theyre doing on my space presently these ar epeople who have my real home number and who can drop by anytime. So whats the difference between that and my wariness at people in .com land? im having lunch wih one o fmy my space friends this week at the Chat and im letting one of my designers stay at my house with absouloutle zero compunction, i dont know whatthis drama has been about but i just wanted to defend superman and jason t, iadore them both, and i met them thru other channels in this life- lets just stay here in MY Space land nice and safe until theres a better qaulity of understanding of the vision i have for this record. and its a very very clear vision, clearer than Celeb Skin and Clearer than Live throiugh this i was just ina hazeon the disastre,
but we all have ups and downs, mine are just particularly dramatic.
im as usual very interested lately in colour, the fanatstical interview with the NYTimes perfume reviewer on one of the scentapalooza bloggers did=- i started at INdieperfumes.com and it was fantastic.
i had a whole week of printing out fantastic essay after fantastic essay - not just on perfume but i f eel people into perfume also tend to be into life and design -
- lately othe rthan my local Rodarte girls my VERY favourite designers on EARTH are 3 as 4 . DAMM!That fall collection , i found a skirt at Collette that made me crazy then i went on the site and the fall collectio was MINDBLOWINGLY great-= iwant them to make me everything for stage! other than my already genius husband/lifepartner/designer....Panos....have any of you seen SEEN his vision? his editorial work? INtrepidLondon.com look at his editorial! look what he di d with Gisele Bunchen! hes a GENIUS! i am the LUCKIEST girl in the world! ive made a room for Panos upstairs with fantastical hand blocked William Morris wallpaper( I almost got the Lee Jofa black velevet paisley on black) but i went for of al things to go with the insanely beautiful ebony 17th century blaCK bed he picke dout for me ( really him as im building him his own wing!) in Chelsea! i went for GREEN and its got GOLD on top, and its sounds horrific- but i saw this wallpaper vibe in Ms Mosses former Kitchen and it was Osbourne and Little , when i got home i found
a sample of almost the exact same wallpaper i was opbsessed with years ago but i never instated- ( wallpaper is not too expensive) now thAt id seen it in a room i was blown away - painting the bathroom this amaZing blood red rasberry i found
Red is so hard- and putting black and whites ( photos) up in there- mostly of people i know or knew , as theyre rock n roll photos and rather dramatic but its sounding christmasy, its NOT , the green is a teal /aqua /turquoise and the gold is perfection with this view- my daughter vacated this room for a red room in the guest wing and so i had this empty canvas upsatirs to play with- an dthis crazy bed coming in from the UK, oh man this bed is the greatest bed in history you have to get to it on steps! im also listening to wierd little thinsg fiest and animal collective wich i dont quite get and a girl ummm,,,sachs...i forget shes on the animal collective label.....and something caked the Pandas and im having a Verve moment ( if you wantt osee Liam our fucking great rythym guitar player go to Burberry.com and watch the Testino ad, hes so delicious! and fun and we miss him! They just keep paying him to model and hes doing it for now cos hes not yet on salary- but i have come to Rescue Him! hes so great and so dignified and a wonderful kid-= we want hima round for his talent and sheer balance and his lovely wit and fantastical character.....wheres Liam! I miss him~ hes a God! He makes the action of playing fun and is the secret of this band!)
but i wont drop an album i am not yet comfortable with- im not goofing off and getting nuerotic aboput whatever i try to write - im ina real band and i want that to really come through- so im sorry...
im stilll iving in as i call it "the dark"....
beacuse the last strong images of me are of me as some crazed individual for wich the plot will someday be revealed- in fact sooner than later- But until theres a record theres nothing i can do about that- i came in LAST In Parades list of celebs to stay sober yet ive been sober for YEARS and longer than anyone on that list! it shows yo uhow America thinks i really get annoyed with the prism of Parade but thats the great USA!!!!!!
headto Dirty Harrys site- shes a wonderful girl who introduced me to all of London seven years ago why Im friends with Lisa M, )( im looking for you on my friends list Moorish and i cannot find you! i love you and hope your well and ill be home soon - FB is going to.... fingers crossed...... intern at the local you know what this summer) and Mairead because of her...wait Mairead i just met on e night....anyway i adore this girl- shes a Buddhist and shes Sober- CHRIST! Finally a girlfriend who has the same interests as me right here in Beverly Hills, am, SO greatful to have another Buddhist and a real inspiration to me for the work shes done on herself- its a radical change and im more than a little impressed at the great causes and karma shes making in her life total human revolution- she reminds m e alot of Gwyneth ins ome ways- justa really beautiful person inside and out=who sees other people before herself yet has a Rockstar presence a mile wide and sparkles!
i shut the .com down til sparkart comes and really gets it and theres zero moderator drama-in.. my life= wich is really full and super super busy and full of the ten worlds from a great night getting Rolfed and making Pallettes for my "Mood Board" IM GOING TO DO AN ASPIRATION board, just put stuff i want in my life images of beauty and serenity and abundance and nurturing that make me feel better- speaking of feeling better- yummy sephora delivery! and AMAZING Givenchy delivery- i cant wait for the Couture again- i cannot believe its been a year and my second Couture ever,,,and i still have no record for y 'all, but its NOT MY SCHEDULE, reflected in the delivery of this record im not BLAMING anyone - everyone has a life butthe long "overdue" Courtney Love record is about other peoples schedules and being at the mercy of other people to some extent wich is a compromise i will NOT make in this or any life- i have no negativity for anyone - but ive just been put through a maelstrom in my personal life- a fucking hurricane- that i tend to be very very discreet about- NOTHING bothers me more than my personal life being examined by other people- the mere IDEA of my email being violated by a cyber friend gives me fucking shivers - beyond that account i have other accounts this person didnt get to thank GOD_ and the things - the upheaval going on in my REAL life are not public or for sale- real life changing moves - health, wealth, marriage., divorce, children, death, taxes, music, sex, i have chosen to use another account for most of these topics- thank the LORD, i suggest you all make sure your deeply personal feelings about things - no matter how triumphant or pathetic no matter how devestated or obsessive you feel be put in longhand in a JOURNAL, as i feel so raped i cant even put it into words- but darling on with the show=
MD Skincare makes a great litttle 1 and 2 exfoliating pads- and im stil obsessed with Luzerns products and i jsut got my CBIHATEPEFUME along with a lovely letter from the fantastic nose./perfumier Christopher , Hes from the Old School like most of me is- and he works with his hands and his heart and his nose and he sent me one i didnt ask for - i have "First Snow" and "Burning Leaves" and " MY BIrthday cake" THE BEST VANILLAN/SWEET ive ever ever smelled ( I have the Visionare fantastical box of smells of electrictity . wet. milk, violence . etc im pretty obsessed with it) and he sent me one that really surprised me called :"Cradle of Light" wich iw ore when i shot with Terry Richardson the other night- its a little Norma Desmond, theres shots of me on the bed with this big ebay p[ile of crazy old press, my god !!!!!!
someone got it off ebay and it spans so many ups and downs, i didnt have any of my press in my house- good or bad- and iw anted at least a chronology of things and so theres this massive package that arrives- some kids over me and selling his shit on ebay and then we went into my closet - the fantastical Sharon Gault did my makeup and Johnm Frances lopped off my hair into a bob again but short bangs- i just wore my new fantastic vinatge and Terry was fun and we had a fun night, also i am ordering some of this ChristineJBrandt.com jewelry its so huge and oversized and goes so well with Ricardos aesthetic- as much as i may love other designers im loyal only to my Ricardo Tosci! *( well eceptions must be made for MJ and Rick and Lagerfeld)
anyway i finally bought for the 1st time ever ( wich is wierd for a Dylanolgist- wich i consider myself) my first Dylan songbook.
so im gonna end my dammed "blog" and play guitar, just know that ill drop this when its done and not a moment sooner- this is too important - noone can call me prolific- but noone can tell me that Sober.......i dont have pretty dammed good taste.
even exquisite, even painfully perfectionistist ( eg i like and want flaws) ( loads and loads of them and painful vulnerability and presence and im too much ......my LifeForce is MY OWN, for whatever reason i dont have the flexibility to fold and bend like an origami im just not that human being or that woman, and Milos sent me the most amazing present and for some reason theres the script oive waited NINE years for and its sitting right HERE and i cant read it for some reason- afriad of falling in love i thinkbeing in love scares the holy shit out of me as you can understand...or not ,.....biut never stop believing in it cos Love is omnipresentand everywhere and always)
LIfe is a Miracle- Nurture yourself and the people you love dont get lost or disconnected no matter what= consider yourself an oak tree with so many deep roots and the eight winds cannot bend you , no matter what the poisons or toxins or tattered , shattered shit comes at you from wounded crippled people- think of lilacs and Daphne ( if youve had the pleasure of smelling it that one or two weeks a year it fills the Oregonian air) im off to play guitar til i fall asleep i feel a song coming on.
love you all,
CourtXXXX