Well, I went to the gawker people and addressed them myself. I'm not educated, upper middle class and I have been on food stamps so I probably won't get.. errr... "published", but it would just bore you guys – I'm so happy that my friend just got here from the Mighty Blighty, and he's oh so lovely. We work on Monday and I'm so excited after such an emotional weekend - our friends brother ( the bands and mine) was shot and it was just very dramatic and draining. I hope to get sick of smoking and take up bobbin lace making instead.
I'm trying to read ( I had an Amazon orgy, I mean ORGY) every single book on every single topic that interests me, leading to another, and so forth, et cetera... In addition, I would like to finish; The Science of Power, The Importance of Being Famous, The Lotus Slipper History, The History of Corsetry, Hadrian's Memoirs and Russell Brand's very inspiring "Booky Wooky".
I think that I may do this movie; it's just a few days and I have to check out this kid with whom I am to have cougar (movie) sex with but wtf. I like the director as long as he gets me and I really get along with the guy who'd have been playing my husband....wait, did we make out?....naw. Anyway we've always gotten on really well and it's not months and months, it's just a few weeks of semi-working so it doesn't take away from the record at all... Rock 'n' roll, k.... Rawk & rolllll!

Anyway, yeah, I put those amex xerox' in the post... I doubt much will happen but it's pretty gruesome to me that an artist would knowingly rip another one. As far as news agencies or whatever in Zimbabwe picking up my GP story, I would never EVER invade someone's privacy and kiss n tell about details. I just want to add to O that that I smoked OUTSIDE and certainly not in the presence of young children – it's a very large yard - it's the same thing that I'd write if I was feeling romantic and all lovey about Stipe (who also is very private!)

I'm perfectly aware of people's privacy boundaries and I don't see myself including details of personal things, other than romantic details of a very, very pleasant day with very, very pleasant people, perhaps... Furthermore, I also feel that since it was written quite hastily (my post the other day with the Bunny-men in it), the "comment IQ is higher than you'd expect" came out stupidly wrong - I meant her emotional and instinctual intelligence quotient is just vast - and certainly larger than mine - I love people who I can learn from. Their mystique business and relationships are none of my business to discuss, nor would I ever - as Sharkey put it. As I have found Madonna near me on occasion, I've also found her to be silly - funny and cute, yeah, but she's got a very sly sense of humour sometimes - we don't have ANY relationship presently but our karma seems a bit intertwined. We have a number of mutual friends, and in the end, I like her. I like her brother too, so this book thing is a little tragic to me. I'm so glad no one in my immediate REAL family would ever write one of those things - my biological mother and father can write their insane books 'till the cows come home, neither of them knew me, Kurt or my kid, so it's just insane people's fiction.
I feel really bad for both of them- she's just naturally in default - like anyone goes into sometimes. That's a psychiatric term, I guess that I picked it up from therapy, like when I feel like a shivering chubby stripper, I'm in default. She hasn't always been sharky to me, she's just like that - sort of stiff - maybe a lot of people project things onto her, in fact, I know they do. It must suck... wait.....it DOES suck. I don't know, I'm not her.

I certainly don't dislike Madonna, I just wish she had returned a call that I made a few months back. She would have saved me a fortune in another rip-off Artiste who says he works for her, and then I find out that he doesn't. She's been doing nothing but well in her finances, although we're extremely different types of people and different types of artists. However, A lot of our mutual friends tell me that we're a lot alike - and maybe we are - I always get uncomfortable with that comment, but it always happens with ANYONE who knows us both, and it always has, so maybe its body language or something. We all know it's not musical. I know one thing about kaballah that IS true- speak no evil tongue and see no evil eye - does confronting anther artist who you've discovered due to the sheer vastness of the paperwork to be gone thru publicly count as evil tongue? I don't think so. I know I was enraged and remain very upset at the guy's behaviour. Also because he used my voice mail and I was hurt and low and scared shitless and that voicemail wasn't left for him, but I digress, in any case, moving ON...

I'm making a resolution to do a two hour tozo a day, every day somehow and yoga FIVE times this week. I want to be in-flow but the only flow that I know is when I chant and that just makes everything so much better- I perceive things and even receive shocks, like the Ryan one... I get them daily but I don't care as long as it stops. I just want to move on into the future and forget this financial shit – As Marie Antoinette said, "let them eat (their stale) cake. I cant blog a trial, it's something only lawyers can work out, so it's just something that I have to suck up. One thing that DOES enrage me is when urban sophisticates with great breeding and cynical cognition of life make FUN of being robbed blind. I wasn't raised to understand wealth, or even a fico score , or entities or be a forensic accountant and if I don't do most of it myself it won't get done, and so I've learned a lot and I share a 100000th of it occasionally, if it can help anyone that's great. But to make fun of stealing and to imagine that lawyers and cops and loan officers are these fucking saints who don't steal from uneducated rock musicians rap musicians and athletes is just plain fucking stupid? Got it?

Okay , now I don't have to mention it again, ignorance will do your ass in , so when the media members who subscribe to my blog revive them they need to think really hard before stating I'm "crazy" or "high" because I didn't major in English or Medieval History at Brown or Yale. I never said I did, nether do I eat fine food with my fingers or not have my own personalised stationery. I'm rather ....errr...gracious, I guess, in how I like to l.ive, and the people i like to be around. I like to learn from and I like to be ethical and simply not a thief or liar or denier or obstructer. Just let's all get the fuck on with it, life is too short, i chose to continue working on this record for a lot of complex but very easy reasons, i fell into the luck of being in a truly monstrously great band, for the first time in my life although Hole was great on occasion there's an innocence to this and a beastliness to this that I'm honoured to have the shamanistic moments o have ive been ripped apart and orgasmic at the things we come up with and I'm far more musical than any other thing. In fact, i care more for music than for anything else except my child. Music is all there is to me when the fire has died and you've got a nickel a tin cup and a pencil there's always music , and that's all I care about in the end in the beginning in the alpha and the omega, if you want to know me know my music and draw your conclusions from that- the rest is dross. That's hard to say when I'm not exactly prolific, but i hope when i do rise up with new songs that are sonically the way i want them - then fuck it. judge me on that and that alone, I'm a musician first and foremost and I'm enormously slow but that's just too bad cause i won't go through another record that doesn't t slake me slay me and i know is my voice. i have far too much to say in fact we have 34 songs and i have to [part with some , none are shit, and its l.ike losing a child, ii went for about 5 years without writing a real song and 3 years without writing one at all, the other 2 just struggling to care enough then a gush went off and im like a waterfall of mojo, and thats just the reality of my life given that statement its past midnight and i need to read write and make lyrics that will astound, spin em around and rub em in my skin like cobwebs.
Au revoir mon petit cherie/