Raison d etre, joie de fucking vivre, la vie en noir, and carpe diem - always seize and seize and never stop.

I am so happy. I could just kiss the ocean, kiss the sky, and at the same time be morbidly depressed. "She's just no crazy." God, they really count on that one, don't they?

Well, I rock slow and steady. By the way, I certainly did NOT, and I certainly do NOT discuss my sex life. If I had slept with someone I won't discuss it; I never have and never will. Occasionally, I mention a snog but that's about it. How indiscreet some people are, I don't understand. In fact, I'm a bit of a total prude about that topic. It's no one's business. It never will be. Back in 03, I pimped my then lizard like foul "boyfriend "onto Mr. Adams, who admittedly knows that record has far too much  high-end and not enough mid range. "Luminol" could've been a fine song and there are a few others, but their sheer hamfistedness and steroid jangle.

Honey, it's not my first time at the rodeo. I made a piece of total shit. I cannot bear with the same Gollum; why I pimped him on Ryan whose music is safe and nice to me?  I generally like to listen to it and until a few days ago, I considered him a sort of friend - I don't know. Instead of what I was stating was a fun little flirtation I dragged HIM into the darkness with that. I just didn't think I'd be charged nearly a million dollars to finance some indie record, some bogus "career." If he knew about these cards - and I believe he did - I have a really good reason to believe he did, simply because so much was used to pay for his "comforts." I'm certainly not posting the bills, but in any case, I don't like to have "feuds" anymore than I like to stage dive. I'm older now, and it's stupid. Besides, the only real "feud" I ever had was with Mr. Self Destruct back in the 90's and he started it. I just had a far better bon mot than him, which happened
to be the truth. If he hadn't brought up sexual matters, it would have never have occurred, and the food off my table by one very good drummer... just the type of popular dude that splits the minute there's an issue (who also happens to have Merrill Lynch on his father's side and I believe a former attorney for a mother... phaww, and there's no class system in America... There is, I tell ya, there surely is). 

Oh wait, there're two; I do not care for that British comedian very much, he's very mean and he's very unusually dark. Maybe I have father issues, attracting these sociopathic men occasionally. Ya think? Then again, two of my very favourite human beings in the whole sodding mess are British comedians. I love them more than any "blog" (what a horrific word, like panties or slacks) could ever express. They both inspire me and I'm spending Christmas with both of them, I think (just crashing Guildford and Essex, some grey estuary,  "Honey I'm Home" laden with little knobs and pixie dust and NY Pizza and a take away from Mr. Chows in my Chartruese Birkin, yum, and a Marks and Spencers Christmas Pudding.) Yep, I'm crashing your Christmas, both of y'all, just 'cause I have to hang with your mums. 

Issues? Did anyone mention issues?

I have all the issues, honey, but my cognition is, well, accurate is a good word for it, I hope. There isn't an issue I do not have and I don't think there's an issue YOU do not have. So let's just fucking live a fine, gracious life, and not give a fuck about what people think of how we feel about feeling great in our own skins! Let's be empathetic and kind. Let's have grand adventures and fall in love, then pick up the fucking pieces of our broken hearts and glue our souls back on. Let's make beautiful things then try to change and maintain change/growth and have a human revolution. For me, that's the most important part of the whole journey... The journey itself.

All I know is that LOVE saves it all from falling to fucking pieces for the jackals to eat. Love is the glue that holds up. My relationships and friendships remain for many years, save a few missteps, and dramatically huge ones, into the cow paddies of this world. I do fine, thanks. I love my friends and I keep my enemies at bay and occasionally feed them bat shit in their nasty little cages of a life. Stealing, lying, caring too much about what other people think of how you look and who you are puts you into a cage - grabbing like a starving dog at scraps and corruption. These aren't things I care too deeply about having in my life. I care about life, sunshine, rain, giggling girls, sweet lovely funny boys, happiness, a life done well, and golden lily shoes I get off of EBAY! 

Let's talk about the time I was wardrobe assistant on Mommy Dearest? Or better yet, the few times I helped out on the last Peckinpah movie, stole one of his pills coming back from a Malibu pharmacy and passed pout in the surf. I've always been a bratty little kid. Now it's time I just grow the hell through the thistles and unbind my feet. No razor in my apple, please, lady; not today. I gotta go rock with my GENIUS producer. That's all I live for in the end are the moments he leads us into a shamanistic glorious state of love, skin, sobbing, and laughing. We were weak tonight but drained and it's a very dainty song we are working on and the last few days has left us a little bloodless, 

It's a lot of math in this song for the percussive aspect of it. I enjoy singing it no matter what - but correctly. The percussive element needs to explode, implode and fucking slay, while at the same time being as gentle as a wave at low tide. It's a tough for a drummer this brilliant. It's a toughie even for him, I think. He's the first genius drummer to not have issues whatsoever. I aspire to be as happy in my own skin as him. I think Nature is a dose that'll do you good, rock your thing, then go back to the mother of us all - the Earth - and respect the hell out of her.

I'm going to sleep.

*meow* (said the bird in the bell jar)


Love to all ..........Corky!