hey lovers...this is CL's myspace administrator back again! Allot of you guys have expressed through comments that you were unable to get the Elle Uk2009 issue with Courtney Love on the cover, so I am gonna do a visual blog with the article included for all of you guys to read..
enjoy xoxo
truly madly courtneyPhotographs by jan welters
Fashion by sasa thomann
Kurt Cobain's widow, actress, mother, rock's first lady… Courtney love is a whirlwind of controversy
and contradiction. Now she's back with a new album. Avril Mair meets (and admires) a true original Courtney Love is the world's most controversial blonde. The evidence
is indisputable. Award-winning actress, platinum-selling musician,
celebrity widow, tabloid fixture, hell-raiser. Outspoken, unashamed,
out of control. She has spent 17 years in the public eye, staggering
from the brink of disaster to glorious success, then back to mayhem
and madness again. And again. She has been nominated for a Golden
Globe and then ignored by Hollywood for her transgressions. She
has been hailed as a style icon and then damaged her looks with
ill-advised surgery. She has never made a considered career move or
done the right thing. She has lived a rollercoaster of drama and nearly
destroyed herself along the way. She has unravelled in front of
the world. But after drug addiction, arrests, imprisonment, custody
battles, jail sentences, rehab, public humiliation and press infamy,
at the age of 44, Love is not lost. She has been fat, broke and
stoned; now she is remade, remodelled and sober. There will be
no more surgery or substances. Courtney Love wants you to take
her seriously. Could this be her most controversial move of all?
'I can't fake it. I just can't…'
The first thing that strikes you about Courtney Love is how open she
is. Her life has been a sorry spiral of loss: her parents were absent
for much of her childhood; her husband killed himself; her audience
couldn't bear to watch her slow self-destruction. Everything she
ever loved has been taken away. And yet, after four decades, she
still has more to give. There are no conditions to meeting Courtney
Love, no discussions about what can be said. She texts me several
times on the way to our interview, greets me with an effusive hug,
apologises for her lateness and hands over a bag of presents: books
she's reading, her favourite perfume and a beaded corsage she
made by hand. At the end of our interview – after eight intense
hours together, then another long day in the photo studio – she
gives me all her numbers and email addresses. Courtney seems to
believe that the more you see, the more you might understand her.
She is ferociously intelligent. But mostly she is vulnerable, hoping
desperately that you are the one person who won't let her down
or fail to meet her expectations. Perhaps this time it will all work out.
The other thing that strikes you about Courtney Love is just how
incredible she looks. The most recent tabloid focus has been on her
three-stone weight loss, and American gossip mags have declared
their horror at her newly skinny,
seemingly malnourished shape.
The Courtney I meet is nothing
like this. She's an imposing 5ft
10in, slim not scrawny, in black
Ann Demeulemeester leggings,
a ruffled Givenchy blouse with
a muddle of Lanvin necklaces,
and a feathered Roksanda Ilincic
coat, which still has the shop tag
on it. 'Oh, that's embarrassing!'
she says, with a throaty laugh.
'My vice now is my clothes,' she
says. Part of the reason for this
dramatic transformation is
vanity, 'I was never going to make
the best-dressed list at that size!'
A more fundamental reason is Courtney's need to resume her career. Sometimes it's hard to
remember she ever had one. Her notoriety has done her talent a
disservice. When she met Kurt Cobain in 1990, they both had
blossoming careers and burgeoning drug habits. When they married
in 1992, Courtney had critical acclaim and was on the brink of
commercial success with her band Hole; the leading lady of
alternative rock. Kurt's band Nirvana had just released Nevermind
and had replaced Michael Jackson at the top of the American charts.
Her husband was the biggest star in the world. Then two years later,
he committed suicide. Courtney was left with a baby daughter, a
drug addiction and a hurt that felt as though it would never heal.
It's been a long road back. Finally, after several wrong turns, she
has a new album and is ready to talk. 'I used to lie to the press –
my life was so psycho that you wouldn't believe it anyway, so what
the hell? I don't lie any more. You can ask me anything. Go on…'
What was the turning point for you? 'To be very
honest, jail [Courtney was charged with illegal possession of the
painkiller oxycodone in 2003, then with assault in 2004. Given three
years probation, after a drugs relapse she was sentenced to six
months in prison, which she served in rehab, and lost custody of her
daughter Frances Bean for 15 months]. I had a long, hard fall. I set
the stage for Britney to crash and burn. I went through it all first.'
How did you change? 'A miracle worker got me off crack.
It took a while. I went as far as you could with drugs. I don't know why.'
How do you keep clean? 'I'm a Buddhist and I chant.
Whatever else is going on in my life now, I do not miss that. I'm
two f***ing hours late? I don't care, I'm still chanting. If I don't
chant, then I'm negative, sullen, cold. With it, I'm still flamboyant
and a nasty little bitch, but I'm not… inappropriate.'
Do you still drink? 'I am sober. I've never been an
alcoholic, but I don't drink any more. I'm not a hardcore AA
book-thumper like Russell Brand, though. In the past five years
I have had two glasses of wine. They were both Pétrus.'
How do you feel when you look back on all the
lost years before that? 'Let me tell you a story. On Sofia
Coppola's 16th birthday, way back in 1987, I stole a Chanel lip gloss
from her Sistine Chapel of a bedroom. I'd never seen Chanel makeup
before that. Years later, I left a Chanel lip gloss in the reception of
The Mercer hotel for her. You know why? I believe that you've got
to fix your karma. That's why it's so important not to be a victim.
I made myself vulnerable. I'm the one who took those drugs.'
Are you happier now? 'I'm off antidepressants for the
moment because my album producer wants me to feel the rage,
wants me to be really angry, wants me to face the demons. And
I am so f***ing angry! I'm getting back on them as soon as
recording the album is finished. I'm not going to punch anybody, but
I have to do two hours of exercise and chanting a day to feel good.'
Courtney Love first arrived on the scene in the early 1990s, an
unconventional beauty in smeared red lipstick and a ripped-up
baby-doll dress, ungroomed, out of fashion but fierce with it. She
has since gone through phases of increasing glamour, notably with
a 1997 Oscars appearance in a power bob and white satin Versace
gown. Depending on her degree of coherence and drug of choice,
she has displayed a personal style that could best be described
as erratic, albeit undeniably influential. But the new Courtney – toned, taut, skin pale and perfect – is a long way from her heyday as
the queen of grunge. She has been photographed by Karl Lagerfeld
and starred in Versace campaigns. She has the music-obsessed
Marc Jacobs on speed dial. In fact, she texts him during our
conversation, belatedly expressing her displeasure at his Victoria
Beckham ads. Courtney Love is now officially fashion fabulous.
At what point did you think you needed to
change your body? 'Sweetheart, I was 192 pounds [13st
10lb] and doing Italian Vogue! The trouble is that I always think
I look hot, no matter how heavy I am. But this was a punch in the
face. They had an amazing Chanel couture dress and the only
way it would work was for the stylist to cut out the entire back so it
just covered the front of my thighs. That was it for me. The
unretouched pictures from that shoot are still on my fridge.'
How did you get to that size? 'I got to that weight
through macrobiotic food. Who knew you could get fat being
healthy? It was yummy and I ate way too much. Trudie Styler
and Sting eat that shit, but they work out for like three hours a day.'
So did you get a gastric band like the papers
say? 'Baby, if I could get a gastric band I would! I've heard
it's a lot of vomiting and a pain in the ass, but it's still easier than
a diet. I did go to see a Hollywood doctor about it. I wasn't
desperate, I just knew I had to do something. He said no. I might
have been fat, but I wasn't that fat. I tried lipo on my stomach
after that. It was horrible and it didn't work.'
So you had to lose it the
hard way? 'Too f***ing right I did.'
What did you eat? 'Protein
shakes. I also did the Atkins thing. Vile.
Now I eat a lot of white fish. I live right
next to Nobu in Malibu and I'm
probably their best customer. I get
sashimi from them at least once a day.
It's a little spendy, but it's good for the
skin. I lost a lot of hormones because
of the stress of public humiliation
and all those narcotics. I take natural
supplements to replace them. There
are a lot of cuckoo treatments in this
town, but I don't buy into any of that.'
You look healthier now than at the start of
this year, when you were very thin. Did you have
an eating disorder? 'I didn't get anorexic because I'm not
obsessive compulsive enough. But I got so used to not eating that
I started not to eat, if that makes sense. It was a total fear of being fat.
And you know what? I saw a picture of myself from a few years back
and I'm a sex beast! At 160 pounds [11st 6lbs] I was so hot! I looked
f***ing fabulous. But I do like fitting into sample sizes now.'
When did you realise that your weight loss
had gone too far? 'I saw a picture of myself in The New
York Times and I looked like a skeleton. I knew I had to eat more
because I was scary. I lost my tits, I lost my ass. My stomach was
really loose and saggy. It was because I hadn't done any exercise
to lose the weight, I simply hadn't eaten.'
Do you like fashion more now you're thin? 'I've
always liked fashion and I've always followed it. It hasn't always
liked me much, though.
I bought five Gucci
dresses this season. They
are just sex. I went to
a party and wore one
in blue velvet with the
boots, matching belt, the
whole outfit and there
were men all over me.
I've never seen anything
like it! It was crazy.'
Has your style
changed? 'No. I just
stopped caring about
wearing the right thing.
In 2004, no designer
would lend me an outfit
for the Grammys. So I
wore a $32 vintage dress in defiance. I was so upset that even my
friend Donatella Versace wouldn't dress me that I called up the
photographer David LaChapelle, crying. He said, "When did you
buy into all this? When did you start caring?" And I thought, you are
so right. Go to a vintage store and make your own style from now on.'
Do you care what people think about what
you wear? 'The British press give me a hard time. It's weird;
no matter what I wear, I get stick for it. I put on this amazing
vintage Ossie Clark dress a few months
ago and I looked flawless. And a celebrity
magazine printed the picture with a
sarky caption commenting on my "bizarre
floral frock". I wish other people would
take more risks. I'm not talking about
Cher dressed as the Statue of Liberty,
but I am so bored of seeing starlets
wearing jewel-coloured column dresses.
I'd much rather see a Wag get it wrong.'
Why haven't you done a Marc
Jacobs campaign yet? 'I don't
know. I felt quite jealous when I saw
those Posh ads this season. It almost
seemed a joke at first. I understand
you're English and you hold some reverence but… please. I'm
sure she's a perfectly nice person, of course.'
Who are your favourite designers? 'Rick Owens,
Riccardo Tisci for Givenchy, Lanvin, Todd Lynn, Christopher
Bailey for Burberry. I love Vivienne Westwood. She's mad – but
I'm madder. I was introduced to her at a V&A gala and said, "It's
such a pleasure to finally meet you." She said, "What do you
mean? We've had lunch! You talked at me for three hours!"'
Does fashion make you happy? 'I was in Paris during
fashion week a year ago, I was staying in a suite at the Ritz,
designers were sending me clothes – and I was crying, face down
in the carpet. It just shows that you can come back from nothing,
you can have money in the bank and a beautiful child, and you're
still in a pile on the floor sobbing your eyes out. You can't even
chant. I was having a nervous breakdown in the Ritz. And you
know what made me happy? The Lanvin show
'The difference between my drugs fall and
that of Kate Moss? She's beautiful and an
earner. I'm a critics' darling, I don't make vast
amounts of money for other people. So she
was dropped for like three weeks, but they
really went for me…'
Courtney Love has always polarised opinion. She has no
uncomplicated relationships, with either people or press. Courtney's
parents, Hank Harrison and Linda Carroll, divorced when she
was a child. She doesn't talk to her mother, who she says tried to
have her institutionalised as a child. In a memoir, Her Mother's
Daughter, Linda referred to Courtney as being bipolar. They have
been estranged for years. 'When I first became mainstream,
I retreated from it. I turned my back on fame. And that was partly
because I didn't want my mother in my life,' says Courtney. In
Nick Broomfield's controversial 1998 documentary Kurt & Courtney,
her father says, 'I'm not in the business of getting Courtney to
love me – or even like me.' They don't talk any more, either.
Introduced to the British public by Kurt Cobain, who called
her 'the greatest f*** in the world' live on C4, Courtney's first piece
of major press was a Vanity Fair feature which highlighted the fact
that she had taken heroin while unknowingly pregnant. Because
of it, Frances Bean – now a happy, healthy 16 year old – was
briefly taken into protective custody at two weeks old.
Ironically, Courtney's starring role as a drug addict in The People
vs. Larry Flynt, for which she was nominated for a Golden Globe in
1997, is probably her mainstream career high. On set, she met actor
Edward Norton. They were together for four years and got engaged.
When their relationship
came to a close, she entered
a dramatic downward spiral.
This ended after a brief liaison
with Brit comic Steve Coogan.
Courtney got sober shortly
after. 'It was my last crazy
fling and a really, really bad
point in my life,' she says now.
You seem to like
British boys… 'Look,
I swear that Russell Brand
and me are just really good
friends. I don't want to
have sex with him. I actually
have a very satisfactory sexual life, thank you very much.'
Who's your boyfriend? 'I'm not in a committed
relationship, I wouldn't say it's the most appropriate relationship,
but he's a really brilliant guy. I've had a crush on him since I was
15. I even dated his brother to try and get his attention.'
How come you hang out with Russell brand
and Noel Fielding? 'I met them through the English
comedian [Steve Coogan] that I went out with, disastrously.'
What was that about? 'The one thing you don't do is kiss
and tell. But I've seen 24 Hour Party People and my theory on why
the whole thing happened is that I had a kind of daddy crush
on Tony Wilson [the late founder of Factory Records, who Courtney met while living in Liverpool during the early 1980s].
I transferred that to Coogan because he plays Tony Wilson.'
What kind of men do you usually go for? 'I'm
not looking for arrogant bastards. But I am incredibly intimidating
to men, so I'm told. Particularly when they see me play. There's
so much aggression and anger there. If I wasn't able to turn that
venom into art then I'd be dead. If I'm not making music, I'm
a toxic person to be around.'
Do you want to get married again? 'Yeah, I'm sure
I will. When Kurt died, I found John Galliano's mobile number
in his pocket. Galliano and I had lunch together much later and
I said, "If I get married again, will you make my wedding dress?"
And he said absolutely, so I will hold him to that.'
Would you have more kids? 'Yeah! I definitely want to.
I just need to hurry up. I've always been really fecund, fortunately.'
Is Frances your proudest achievement? 'Hell, yeah.
She's a very well-mannered, grounded girl. She's very beautiful
and, forgive me for saying so, very well raised. She has no desire to be
an It girl. I did get her a red Birkin for her 16th birthday, though.'
What's it like having Courtney Love as your
mother? 'I just caught Frances reading Marilyn Manson's
autobiography and I had to tell her, "There's a chapter you need
to skip in there. You don't want to be reading about your mom
like that [in his book The Long
Hard Road Out of Hell, Manson discusses a 1999 tour where Hole
was his support act, but walked out after just two weeks]." My
daughter doesn't hate me in the way that teenage girls are
supposed to. She may not think I'm cool, but she knows that
we're all each other has.'
How does she feel about everything? 'My daughter
knows I did drugs in my first trimester of pregnancy. She weighed
7lb 6oz when she was born and she was healthy. We were
excellent parents and I say that despite pretty much always having
an edge on. Frances bonded very well with her father, at least in
the first year and a half of her life.
How does Frances deal with the death of her
father and a difficult childhood? I have her see
people who have been professionally trained, who have been
through alcoholism and drug addiction, and are experts in
adolescent behaviour. She calls them her assistants.
'I never wanted to be seen as Yoko Ono, but I've
had worse press…'
Conversation with Courtney is a riot of gossip. She tells a fabulously
unprintable tale about a rock legend, a supermodel and a table
piled with cocaine. She tells, with some bemusement, about being
banned from Claridge's hotel, 'Apparently I burned a duvet.
What the f***? I wasn't demanding, I wasn't cursing. I tipped like
a motherf***er. For me, that was polite behaviour.' She discusses
her surgeries, 'I can't wear red lipstick because of what I did to my
mouth. I was never quite Leslie Ash, but it was a pretty bad trout
pout. I had all the silicone taken out, along with my breast implants.'
She mentions her high-profile friendships, 'Gwyneth Paltrow
texts me three or four times a week. It's almost like she senses when
I need help. She is golden and so sincere.' Some of her stories are
heartbreaking, however. Most of these stories involve her.
'We're starting to make a movie on Kurt's life, which I'm
supposedly executive producing. We have a meeting at The Polo
Lounge last month, proper Hollywood, and I'm wearing Lanvin,
sky-high Louboutins… and I'm sobbing like a bitch within 15
minutes. Scarlett Johansson is going to play me.' She catches her
breath. 'I never grieved properly for Kurt. He died and I went on
tour.' Tears trickle down her cheeks. 'People think it gets easier,'
she whispers, eyeliner streaking, mascara just a memory as she
swipes at her damp face. 'It doesn't. It just gets further away.' She
cries again during our hours together, this time about her friend
Paula Yates. 'I saw her the day before she died. She was tormented
by the tabloids, just tortured. I worry so much about her children,
about Peaches and Pixie [Geldof]. What can
I do? Is there anything I can do for them?'
She wipes her eyes and shakes her head.
As we talk, Courtney sips still water. At
about midnight, she orders a cappuccino.
That's it. She is charming and compelling
company, conscious of her status but not
starry, introducing me to all the people who
come over to her – and there are many of
them, from designer Hedi Slimane, sweet and
shy, to stylist Rachel Zoe and photographers
Mert & Marcus, who beg to be allowed to
shoot her new album cover. Although our
interview takes place at the Chateau
Marmont, where all of Hollywood comes
to see and be seen, Courtney Love is the centre of attention. She
is a significant presence, even on her best behaviour. Afterwards,
she offers me a lift back to my hotel, even though it's 3am and her
home is an hour's drive away. She accompanies me inside, gives
me a hug and says, 'Please don't be horrible.'
'Women don't buy records. They save up for
a Louis Vuitton bag instead…'
We meet again the following day, just eight short hours later.
Courtney hasn't been to bed. She has driven to Malibu and back,
watched some TV , read a little, written in the diary that's her
constant companion. Despite having been awake, unmedicated,
for a day and night, she is more than ready for her close-up.
Courtney is at ease when she's performing. She is always
performing to some degree or other, a relentless one-woman
show, demanding attention.
She turns up wearing head-to-toe Rick Owens, slouchy jersey
pieces in grungy shades. No make-up. She has her black iPod,
with a playlist of Nirvana, PJ Harvey and Britpop. She also has the
following: a well-thumbed copy of Country Life, Terry de Havilland
snakeskin wedges (price tag still attached), Heat magazine (which
includes a 'worst dressed' picture of Courtney wearing Rick
Owens), a book of Emily Dickinson poetry, an overflowing
scrapbook and the details of a £3 million house near the English
Cotswolds which she wants to buy. All spill onto the floor from an
oversized Jimmy Choo bag. She has brought yet more presents
for me: a book on Chinese foot binding and tiny silk slippers.
She also brings piles of unmastered CD s. This is her reason for
being here – her first album in five years. 'This is probably the
most important thing I'll ever do,' she says. Courtney Love's
debut album with Hole was released in 1991, the year after she
met Kurt Cobain. The second, breakthrough album, ironically
titled Live Through This, came out four days after his suicide in
1994. She has since released another two records – the critically
acclaimed Celebrity Skin in 1998 and a solo album, America's Sweetheart,
in 2004, recorded at the height of her disorderly conduct. This
time round, she hopes, things will be different. It's called Nobody's
Daughter, a title that needs no explanation. She plays a selection of
demos while having her photograph taken, singing along loudly,
cursing when she occasionally forgets the words.
Will you still be doing all this when you're 50? I ask.
'When this record is finished, I may be done. Women go
through the menopause – being
a rock star may be unseemly
after that point. Having said
that, there's no way I should still
be alive after a lot of the things
I've put myself through, so
who knows what the future holds?
At least you could never say
I've been boring.' n
Courtney Love's new album, Nobody's
Daughter, is due out in early 2009
