HIV – An Update. PLEASE!


'For you in the UK, HIV isn't a disease of the body any more, it's a disease of the mind'.

I wanted to punch the deluded fucker when he told me that. I wanted him to feel the full fucking force of the pain of lost friends; and of the wrecked lives still being lived, with or without the wretched virus worming away inside their bodies. I wanted to grab him by the fucking hair and force him to watch videos of the great ongoing massacre of acres of masses of the great uncared-for, wasting away in continents he only knows from his fancy holidays with his fake fucking Louis Voiton suitcases. I wanted to scream 'How dare you', as I smashed his fucking smug face onto the nearest car bonnet, repeatedly, whilst kicking the shit out of his oh-so-fucking-righteous negative arse. 'How fucking dare you'.

But I didn't.

Because, and not necessarily in order of priority; (a) that would be common, (b) I had just started my pork scratchings and (c) he was a lot bigger than me.

Instead I gave him a look that would put a stop to global warming, but the warning didn't stop him.

Do you know what? I think he is right.

Well, mostly right.

Well, at least he is right for most of us.

Before you smash my head against the nearest car bonnet, please hear me out.

I am talking here about most of us living with HIV in 21st century Britain. I am not talking of everyone with HIV in 21st century Britain, I am not talking about life elsewhere on the planet and I am not talking of life, or rather death, in Britain a decade ago. I am talking about 95% of us, here and now.

Please don't get me wrong. I am not ignoring the others. I am not saying they don't deserve our compassion, love and support. I am not being selfish or self-centred. Quite the contrary, I am saying that the resources which for whatever reason are limited should be diverted away from those of us who don't need them, and where indeed they may be harming rather than helping us, and should be spent on those who do need the help.

UNCOMFORTABLE FACT No1
The vast majority of HIV+ people in the UK, who take their medication, do not die of HIV/AIDS.
True, we don't know what our new life expectancy will be, but we can remember what it was a decade ago, and it is certainly a lot longer than those diagnosed every day with cancer. Many of them die a horrible death, most of us won't. Why do we find this simple fact of such undiluted good news so hard to accept?

Cancer sufferers have to take the government to court for the right to be prescribed treatment that is unproven to work. We don't. And ours does work.

UNCOMFORTABLE FACT No 2.
Take the pills and live with HIV. Don't take the pills and die of AIDS.

It's not rocket science. There is no '3rd way'. Don't die of ignorance – just take the fucking pills.

Every day starving mothers in Africa walk for miles to collect drinking water for their children to keep them alive. All we have to do is jump on a bus to the hospital once every 3 months. Yet who gets more care, compassion and money? Her or us?

But sorry, we are not talking about those overseas, are we? Most of us prefer to think about how blighted our lives are and decry anyone who challenges that view as selfish. Those African mothers don't know how lucky they are.

UNCOMFORTABLE FACT No 3
The pills are easy to take.

OK, they make you feel like shit for a few weeks, or until the treatment stabilises, but think how shit we would feel without them. But we are not without them, are we? Not now, not in Britain in the 21st century.

And how fucking easy do you think a course of chemotherapy is? And how often do you hear "People-Living-With-Cancer" complain about their treatment? They may be throwing their guts up day and night for months, driven through it by a hope that it might just work, but are they ever ungrateful for the treatment that is available to them?

Yes, it's true, we do have to take them regularly, every day for the rest of our lives. I have to have a cup of coffee and a fag first thing in the morning, and will need to do so, every day, for the rest of my life. You never hear of people complaining that they have to drop a pill every time they go out clubbing do you? And you never hear of them forgetting to do so either, do you?

It's a manageable disease, so manage it.

UNCOMFORTABLE FACT No 4
The only barrier to our lives is ourselves.

One of my heroes is Chris Smith, the ex Labour MP for Islington, (even though I disagree with a lot of what he has to say). In the late 80s when section 28 was being introduced and icebergs & tombstones filled our telly screens between Coronation Street he was the first MP to ever come out as gay. THAT took balls. He went on to become the first openly gay cabinet minister. And last year, as he retired, he announced that he has been HIV positive for the last 18 years. Why didn't he tell anyone sooner? 'Cos it was none of their fucking business and it didn't affect the way he did his job. If he can do a job like that, what is there to stop us doing a job like ours?

UNCOMFORTABLE FACT No5
We are not discriminated against.

Not anymore. Of course it did happen, but that was then, and this is now. The law specifically protects us in our jobs. Besides, discrimination affects us all in one way or another. We discriminate ourselves, whether we like to admit it or not. But the law protects us now, in Britain, in the 21st Century.



None of this rant says, for even a split second, that 'HIV isn't important' or that 'safer sex doesn't matter'. It is, and it does. I don't know of a single HIV+ person who doesn't wish they weren't.

This is not part of some sinister recruitment drive to boost the size of our club. I don't get a special reward for this. There is no 'Free toaster for every 20 converts'.

What this rant is about is to urge all of those who are able to lead a full life to lead one and let the support and care [and money] go to where it is really needed, and not to where it is not needed.

I know that all of this doesn't apply to all of us, but most of it applies to most of us.

There, I've said my piece. Now it's your turn. Next time you hear our club members playing the 'victim card' then challenge them with the 5 Uncomfortable Facts and push them on their response. Change the agenda. Update everyone's views on HIV and make them relevant to us in Britain in the 21st century. And then redirect the care to where it is needed.

It's HIV, get over it. (And please don't damage any car bonnets in doing so. That would be just common).