SORRY SORRY SORRY ARE WE
DEAREST PHILLY.
ONE OF US CONTRACTED A GNAR GNAR STOMACH FLU THAT MADE PERFORMING WITHOUT PROJECTILE VOMITING VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE. IT REALLY SUX COZ WE'VE BEEN FANTASIZING ABOUT YOUR BROTHERLY LOVE ALL TOUR. WE HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND WE COULDN'T AND WOULDN'T EVER CANCEL A SHOW UNLESS IT WAS A VERY SERIOUS SITUATION. PLEASE KNOW THAT THE TICKETS YOU BOUGHT ARE FULLY REFUNDABLE FROM YOUR PLACE OF PURCHASE AND WE'VE ASKED THAT YOU BE GIVEN A KISS AS WELL, FOR THE TROUBLE.
THE ONLY OTHER CONSOLATION WE CAN OFFER IS THAT WE'LL BE PLAYING IN DC ON TUESDAY NIGHT, HOPEFULLY RECOVERED, AND WE'D LOVE IT IF SOME OF YOU PHILLIES COULD DRIVE DOWN SO WE CAN MAKE IT UP TO YOU IN PERSON.
ONCE AGAIN OUR SINCEREST APOLOGIES AND REGRETS,
WE'RE SORRY PHILLY
LIARS