Hello Everyone,
I can best describe the depression that led me to check into this looney bin as "a feeling of uselessness". I was finding it impossible to forgive myself for horrible things that I've done in the past, feeling like I couldn't live up to my new expectations of myself, and like I was stuck being someone that I wasn't proud of being. Depression was kicking my ass, so I went to my doctor for help, and he told me I'd better check into this funny farm. I believe that the best treatment for just about every disease of the mind is to be of service to others, and in order for addicts to stay in recovery from addiction, they must do things that make them feel useful. I've stayed clean for four months now, but, judging by the depression that brought me to this nut house, I need to do much more in the way of being useful. What I'm getting at here is that I think I might just be able to stay clean, and live a happier, fuller life, if I come up with lots of silly little ways (or big ones) to "live usefully". One day, not long ago, when I was deliberate about thinking of others and being useful, it turned out to be a really great day for me, Ryan Simonetti, and a whole bunch of little kids. I turned my birthday into a SKATEBOARD RAGE-O-RAMA! Check it out!:
http://www.jackassworld.com/blog/2008/07/08/steve-os-birthday-partyJust writing this has made me feel much better, now I think I'm going to write up a whole bunch of ridiculous ideas to usefully and ridiculously try to make the world a way radder place. I Love You All,
Steve-O