MyStory: I can make a difference!!!
by: Brian D. Morgan
My name is Brian D. Morgan and on December 4, 1998 I received some of the most devastating news that would change my life forever.I WAS HIV+! I was paralyzed by those words as they came from my doctors mouth. This is something that happens to other people not ME! I felt for sure that this was all a big mistake or just a very bad dream. Then reality set in and I knew now that I had to take on the biggest challenge of my life whether I was ready or not!
I felt nasty inside as if I had something horrible in my body that I could not get rid of! I could not even look in the mirror at myself. So many emotions were flooding me that I felt like I was going to explode! I didnt know where to start, what to do, or how in the world I was going to face my family & friends to tell them of this horrible discovery. I was so lost.
I have always been the type of person to worry about everyone else and somehow put my own feelings on hold to make sure that everyone around me was happy. Now I had a bigger challenge of how to not only take care of them but most importantly myself. I had always thought that I knew a lot about HIV/AIDS until it happened to me. I found out that there was so much that I didnt know, but one thing I did know that I was about to take The journey of a lifetime whether I was ready or not!
I have such an incredible story to tell and a burning desire to get it out to as many people as I can. I dont want anyone to have to experience what I have and will go through with this disease. I have so many people all my life call me a ham and one who loves being the center of attention, so I am putting that to good use!!! Every opportunity I get to publicly speak or to be interviewed about my life living with HIV I jump at the chance!
With the onset of new HIV meds, they seem to give people a false sense of security which leads to risky sexual behaviors because they feel as if the disease can be controlled..WRONG! This is what makes me so angry and so determined to speak candidly about my life living with HIV. You dont see much in the media about these new drugs, how much they cost, and the side effects that come with a lot of them. This my friend, is no way for one to live their life! We all have to realize that we are either affected or infected by HIV/AIDS. You have to get tested to know your status and protect yourself.The FEAR is NOT knowing! I know in my heart that each speech or interview I do will put me at the risk of being more discriminated against. We all have to do our part to stop the spread of HIV/AIDS and if that means going through hell to do it, then I guess hell is where I meant to be!
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