"FUCK.....YOU. Fuck your hopes, fuck your dreams, fuck your plans, fuck everything you thought this life was gonna bring you....now let's go out there and try to make this bitch happy." -Chris Rock Dig if you will (c)Prince, a conversation between man and wife:
Wife: Baby, you wanna come watch some TV with me?
Man: Yeah, I'll be over there in a sec...whatchu watchin?
Wife: I dunno, some shit on VH1 about the awesome life of celebrity rap wives..
Man: Ugh.....sounds lovely...
W: These wives are funny......its like they know their men are out there with all these women, but they don't care..
M: Why should they care? If the roles were reversed, I know I damn sho wouldn't....
W: Whatchu mean?
M: I'm sayin, if I was married to a woman who was good to me AND had paper out the ass, why would I fuck that up? I'd be Mr. Oprah Winfrey in a heartbeat, yo..
W: Even if she cheated on you?
M: Yep. I'd be on that Stedman like a muhfucka..
W: So if *I* cheated on you, you'd be cool with that?
M: Now hol' on nigga I ain't say all that....what I am saying is that it more than likely wouldn't be a dealbreaker.
W: Oh really now?
M: Yeah....I mean, you work hard and I appreciate everything you do. People don't be wantin to tell the truth about marriage, but this shit can be a pain in the ass, yo....
W: Yeah, it can be...and WE actually love each other...*laughs*
M: EXACTLY.
W: So does that mean that you're not jealous?
M: I'm a man, of course I'm jealous. But I'd eventually work thew all that ego shit. You see when you a pimp, yo mind have to be reconditioned-
W: Oh God, don't start quoting American Pimp again...
M: ...and you have to be okay with that. *makes Gorgeous Dre hand motion*
W: *stifling laughter*
M: Nah for real baby, my thing is this: we made a commitment to stand with each other for life...through WHATEVER. If the shit went down, I'd just deal with it and keep moving....
W: I wish I could say the same.....
M: It's cool...I don't expect you to. I just look at the numbers: If 50% of ALL marriages fail, then at some point you gotta wonder if the institution itself is flawed. I mean, EVERYBODY ain't crazy...
W: That's true.....
M: So ultimately for me, it all comes down to the commitment we made to each other. People are gonna be people. So if you gotta go fuck the mailman in order to keep hookin up that good macaroni and cheese like you do, then go head.....I'll be here when you get back...
W: *looking appalled and trying not to laugh*
M: I'm just bein real, yo. If 50% of people in all marriages cheat, then who's to say that the NEXT bitch I get won't be fuckin other niggas AND have an eating disorder on top of that? Or be on all kinda medications? Or can't cook worfa damn? Or be leavin her period draws in the living room? Or be eatin mayonnaise straight out the jar? Better the devil you know than the one you don't. You stuck with me, nigga. I shall not be moved...
W: So what's the limit then? I mean, there has to be something that would cross a line...
M: I mean, if you fucked one of my boys or something then yeah..that would be murkworthy....you don't getcha man back like that..
W: Well, I'd never do that...
M: I come home from the studio and find you on the couch with my manager and shit...
W: STOP!
M: *begins singing like Sisqo* "I got this feeeeling...and its something I just can't loooose..."
W: ......
M: "That somebody's....gettin nexxxt to youuuu..."
W: Okay baby, stop.....or I'm gonna have nightmares about his platinum hair...
M: "BUT BEEEING THE MAN THAT I AAAAAM-"
W: ...........
M: *cuts to chorus* "Somebody's sleeping with Biiiig Dhoooooo-"
W: NIGGA!
M: *laughing*
W: God....ese pendejo....
M: In English, please....you know I don't speak reggaeton...
W: *sucks teeth*
M: Nah, but you feel what I'm sayin tho? If you make the commitment to be with somebody, then hell, stick with 'em through whatever. I made that commitment, so I'mma ride for you.
W: You should write a song about this..
M: Maybe I will...
*two days later, and Man plays the version of this song located in our player*
M: So what you think about it?
W: I love it. The young girls ain't gon wanna hear that though. It's too real.
M: That's why I ain't marry no young girl...
W: *smiles*
M: ...and I love you too, baby.
*end scene*
And now, a frew closing words from Mr. Douthit:
Playin fair like rollercoasters and clowns,
Tigallo