(cont.)

The following is a letter written by Myung Joo Cheon, a high level female “master?in Dahnhak hierarchy
when she resigned in 1999. “Susungnim?is a term meaning “Spiritual Teacher and Master) and refers
exclusively to Ilchi Lee, or Seung Heun Lee, the founder of Dahnhak and Brain Respiration.

[17]

Since our Ilchi Family was so rife with exaggerated rumors, I hoped that MiJ. Sin would get a chance to work in
America. However, Susungnim did not concern himself with individual disciples. He seemed to consider SungJ.-jang
more important than MiJ. Shin. I became nervous over my doubts that Susungnim considered sex as not a tool for
enlightenment but as a tool to achieve his vision. I was overwrought. From then on, I kept telling people that did not want to be a center manager master any longer. I thought that I might betray Susungnim in this state of mind. I wanted to get
away far from Susungnim and only have the Utopian vision in my sights.

And I thought that this case was yet unresolved. In one of his lectures [Susungnim’s lectures are called “KangCheon?
meaning Voice from Heaven], he spoke, “if possible, abstinence for three years is good, and you can date and marry if
you want, but don’t mistake yourself into thinking that this is sexual studies. And never sell my name when saying that
you are undergoing sexual studies.” That’s what he said but I knew, according to our organizational culture, some of the
masters would interpret it in whatever ways it suit them. Some would think that Susungnim was just saying that for the
benefit of those people with lower levels of consciousness in order to maintain the organization. But I knew that these
practices will go on hush hush. I worried and therefore met with other masters on my own prerogative.

She told me, “DaeJ.-jang recommended that I sleep with UhS. Lee, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do so.
Then I accidentally met with my first love on the subway. When I told this to DaeJ.-jang, he told me to sleep with him. So I asked him to sleep with me; he was shocked and went away. I called DaeJ.-jang to say that I failed and he told me to
do 103 bows. Then my first love called me drunk and said that he hit his wife for the first time ever and asked me to
come live with him because he was going to divorce his wife. I told DaeJ.-jang what he said, and he told me that I
shouldn’t worry about it because all the other stuff was for my first love to go through on his own and had nothing to
do with me. Is that really true??

I told him no emphatically. I told her that’s not how to undergo sexual studies and shed attachments.
I met with JinM.-jang. This is what she said.

When I was leading the Kindergarten Team and was not doing well, I thought that it all had to do with my not resolving
my energies with DoS.-jang. I thought not, but then everyone around me kept telling me so. So, if I cold just sleep with
DoS.-jang once and get it all solved, I thought it wasn’t such a big deal. I am now sorry about it to Susungnim and don’t
know why I thought like that in the first place…”

[18]

I kept meeting with other masters to see how wide spread a problem sex was. I met with Master Park (3). She said:

“When I was working at the army Dahn group, a Jungsa Master who came to lead a special training told me that every
Dahn master is hung up about sex. Aren’t you hung up on sex also? If you are not, then come to my room tonight.
I didn’t want to admit that I was hung up on sex and therefore went to his room that night to sleep with him.
When I said goodbye in the morning, I cried and realized that this wasn’t it. I won’t go through this again.?

Then I met with YoungJ. Jung who worked at the headquarters. She told me, “…when I was having a difficult time,
WolY.-jang told me to cheat on my husband. I don’t think that’s the way…”

I wanted to organized this in my mind. I though of the people whom I know had sex with Susungnim directly.

1. Han00 Wonsa [Member]
“… I was a virgin but wanted to go through sex at least once. I think that Susungnim felt that too. That’s why I slept
with him.” Han00 had wanted to go to America. But Susungnim that Han00 had the princess disease [high
maintenance] and would trouble him if she came. I agreed at that time. She was someone whom you had to pay
attention to all the time. It was hard living with her. Now, she’s left Dahn.

2. After DahnJ.-jang quit, Susungnim sent for me from America. When I came, he told me to check how Cha00 Jungsa was. I asked AR.-jang what was going on. She told me:
“Cha00’s first sexual experience was with Susungnim. She got pregnant and had an abortion. When she was having
a difficult time with that, it was DahnJ.-jang who took care of her. Now that DahnJ.-jang is gone, she is having an even
more difficult time. It might be hard for her to recover. With her personality, she might try to commit suicide if she goes back to Korea.” ?
I reported back to Susungnim exactly what I heard. He replied, “I even gave up my wife and kids…” When I spoke with
other masters, I heard many criticisms of Cha00. She was a graduate of Seoul National University. She wasn’t stupid.
It just meant that she was having a really difficult time.

[19]

Susungnim told me that he even doubted that AR.-jang was planning to leave every since DahnJ.-jang quit. He told me
to check on her. Since I liked AR.-jang, I asked her to spend a day with me.
We spent a whole night on Bell Rock talking. What she told me was shocking:
“…I had asked Susungnim whether his having sex with his disciples was to teach them about sex but he said that
sometimes he has sex just to purify himself, which was shocking to me…”
“…DahnJ.-jang said ‘how do you maintain a Teacher ?Disciple relationship during sex? He told me to act like a woman,
so I did’…?
“…SeonH. Jung acts like she is Susungnim girlfriend. I was shocked. Susungnim's wife hates the mention of her
name. The reason I had to come back to American was that Susungnim's wife hated SeonH. Jung with a passion…”
“…Master Park(1) kept saying that her private parts smelled bad. So I asked her and she told me that she had her first
sexual experience with Susungnim. I didn’t know although I was lived in the same house. These days, she sleeps
early in case Susungnim calls her to his room…”
“…Master Park (2) is going out with Michael. Susungnim's wife said how she could go out with someone else while
she is serving Susungnim. I was in a bad mood. I think that Susungnim’s wife is mistaken about many things…”
“…there is a lot of talk that TaeA.-jang is making his own private organization…”
“…Susungnim slept with Master 000. TaeA.-jang called me to complain what that hell he was doing…”
“…YounJ. Dahnsa is the same as ever. Her husband complained to DahnJ.-jang that she falls asleep looking at
Susungnim photograph. She is an incredible sunflower. She should really focus on her husband when she sleeps
with him…”
“…I want to throw away my body.?
I felt that AR.-jang was going beyond repair.

Master Park(1) quit being a master. But Susungnim gave AR.-jang more jobs and responsibilities. She was trying to
make a fresh go at it.

3. SsiA.-jang told me this:
“I didn’t tell anyone what Susungnim did to me when we were alone together.?

4. I thought of my own case. When he came to CheonHwaWon, he called me to his room in early dawn. He made
me lay down next to him and touched my private parts. I was tense. He didn’t say anything and continued to massage
me in that fashion. I didn’t feel good at all.

[20]

I thought again. Maybe this is all part of a process. Since sex is such a fundamental energy, it’s hard to understand it.
All these people might be in the middle of their studying process. Maybe Susungnim is waiting for them to study on their own. Maybe some even feel liberated and comforted through such experiences. I decided to wait a little more. I wanted to believe. Anyway, DaeW.-jang’s strong internal policies seem to have checked other internal sexual problems. I decided to put this aside in a corner of my mind for a while.

But now, the situation has changed. Two months before I resigned, AR.-jang sent me an email saying that she wanted
to take off he body. When I spoke with Susungnim alone in Beijing, he told me that AR.-jang had disappeared for
three days. He said that she was irresponsible and didn’t know what to do with her. He said that he would send her
back to Korea.

I concluded that Susungnim thought of his disciples only as tools to reach his goals. If the tool worked fine, it was good;
but if the tool didn’t work well, then he would discard it without a second thought. I talked with AR.-jang. She was worried
that she would become a burden to me if she came back to Korea. I just told her to come as quickly as possible.
My dearest wish was to live with AR.-jang. AR.-jang was still a loyal disciple, believing and following only Susungnim.

One day, Susungnim called MiJ. Shin in order to find out more about JiH. Kim behind my back. [JiH. Kim is a famous
Korean national poet who was once Ilchi’s disciple but publicly broke away by declaring Ilchi and Dahn as hopelessly
corrupt ?one of the author’s jobs was to take care of JiH. Kim].

He told MiJ. Shin: “Songhwajang [author] made you look like a total fool by having SoY. Nam tell me everything about
you. And yet you still defend her?...

MiJ. Shin later told me that Susungnim was wrong to try to start a fight between sisters [MiJ. and I], but she nevertheless
wanted to ask me why I told Susungnim about her when she looked up and followed me so much. If I had otldher
not to do certain things, she said that she would never have done them. I made a lot of excuses then, but now I want to
tell her I’m sorry. Then again, although she would have stopped if I had told her to, she would have made excuses
and justified herself about sex as not being wrong and such acts would have gone on and spread and she would
have become more and more fearless since she had the brought in SungJ.-jang, the rich businessman.

[21]

That’s why I had felt that MiJ. Shin needed to be disciplined officially by Susungnim. I still think I judged correctly.

Of course, when MiJ. Shin was in America in the immediate aftermath, Susungnim told her to be abstinent for 3 years.
However, I thought that was just a temporary solution. I believe that sex should not be used or twisted for other
purposes. Sex itself should be respected as the beautiful and precious thing it is. Also, there are many people hurt by
sex. They are hurt to their soul. I can now say for certain. That sex is a not a subject to be studied.

Susungnim is just using sex as one of the tools for him to control the organization. He is not trying to used to somehow
help people reach enlightenment or make them more mature. This is definitely wrong.

The next thing that I came to regard as wrong was Susungnim distrust of everyone except his family when it came to
money.

Even in CheonHwaWon, all the lands had to be purchased in Susungnim’s name. When it couldn’t be done for some
reason, it could be bought in a disciple’s name but he or she had to sign a document and give it to the headquarters.
DaA.-jang complained about it once. He told me that Susungnim found out once that the biggest parcel was in
JoongA.-jang’s name. He called JoongA.-jang into his office. JoongA.-jang’s colors changed to gray and he called
JiS.-jang immediately.

Even CheonIlAhm had to be put under the ownership of CheonJiInSangSa (Merchandising arm of Dahn).
CheonJiInSangSa was under the ownership of Susungnim’s younger brother. CGI in America was under
his wife’s ownership. To build CGI, the masters had to continue to squeeze money (called Vortex Membership Dues)
from members even after we had bought the Sedona land ?it created a lot of problems.

The Vortex Membership Dues ($2000 lifetime membership fee) was a result of blood and sweat of the masters.
But after CGI was built, Susungnim’s wife became the president of CGI and she was put in as the owner.
Afterwards, she even bought an extra land to build a hotel on without consulting anyone else, which disappointed
many masters who knew about it but they couldn’t say anything. Susungnim said that he could not trust anyone because
he had been betrayed too many times by his disciples. But I couldn’t understand that logic. Should a Teacher trust in
his disciples although some of them betrayed his trust? Because these disciples are people who give up their families,
sell their houses, and work for less than one–fifth of their former income all because of the vision; if you don’t trust them,
can you really create a One World as he says? I began to doubt the whole thing.

[22]

I know that no one in our Ilchi family comes in thinking that they will earn tons of money. I now think a little differently.
Once people see money, they sometimes start thinking other thoughts. However, I think you still need to trust people
when you interact with them in society.

Anyway, what was certain was that we shouldn’t even dream of founding a Utopian world in this fashion. I had one more
experience. He was a man who quit being a manager of the accounting office in Dahn. We went to Sedona and spoke
with Susungnim together. Although he used professional vocabulary, what he mainly said was:

“Why don’t you trust your disciples and only buy property in your family’s names? You shouldn’t do that. The stocks of
the company shouldn’t be bought like that. Masters should have a stake, become owners and guarantee their future…”

Susungnim told him to discuss it with JoongA.-jang if he had good ideas. He said that he would follow his
recommendations if his ideas were really good. Then he told me and JoongA.-jang to keep a close eye on him so that
there is no trouble.

Recently, DaeW.-jang said that the man threatened to expose everything and brought with him copies of the accounting
books. They had to pay him hush money and get a job for him in an affiliated company. Susungnim kept saying that he
had to do it this way because he had been betrayed so many times. He said that he never used the money for his own
personal purposes.

Anyway, I felt sorry for my younger masters. Since they were being constantly hounded for increasing income, they
would declare an income without having actually received the money; then, if the expected money did not come in, then
they would fill in the discrepancy with their own money from monthly salary (which was a pittance), credit cards?
then they would be neck deep in debt and not be able to pay rent on the center until they were found out by the
headquarters and be punished by having their monthly salaries docked for years, in addition to being officially demoted
and/or humiliated. We, who have been on the frontlines, know what goes on; but the people in the accounting office
have no idea about the stress that we receive in the actual retila operations of the center.

Anyway, in our Ilchi family, accounting mishaps were treated with severity. Then if someone got sick working like that,
then they had no place to go. Everyone was busy making money. They didn’t have personal monies of their own.
Since many of them cut off contact with their families when they became masters, they didn’t have the option of going
back home when they got sick. Actually it was my job to take care of and treat warmly these sick masters, but I was
also so preoccupied with my own job of earning money for CheonHwaWon, CheonIlAhm, donations, and more that
I ignored them. That fact that Susungnim did not trust the masters who slaved for the vision like this made me doubt
even more.

One master who created an accounting problem was sent to CheonHwaWon (that the author was in charge) as a
punishment. The head of accounting told me that he mentally strange, that he could not understand the simplest
things. The master insisted:

[23].

“When a member said that he wanted to become a life time member then I added to the center income. Then he would
change his mind and not bring the money he promised?other times, someone would say that he wanted to become
a member and to bring the money in the next day but doesn’t come, but I had added to the center income already
anyway?after several months, there was a discrepancy of several tens of thousands of dollars…”

The problem was that the master didn’t think he did anything wrong. Of course, he was mentally weak in that he caved
into the pressure from above about increasing income and engaged in such dubious income reporting.
Anyway, the punished master thought that he was unfairly treated and had a difficult time adjusting. There were many
cases like this accounting mishap among the masters. This was just an extreme case. Then the case got worse.
The headquarters called. The credit card company sued to take their debts out of his paycheck. The master said
that it was his mother who ran up the debt on his credit card and to not take the money out his salary.
I asked HwaT.-jang about his status. He told me that the punished master was becoming worse, taking long walks
by himself in the middle of the night. I reported to the headquarters that he should be made to quit being a master.

But then, several days later, that master died when he fell off the cliff above the Mokgye Fall in CheonHwaWon. Since there were plenty of witnesses, it was treated as an accident. I was in Seoul during that time
on a business trip.

I reported to Susungnim about the incident and he comforted me by saying,
“He is a lucky guy for having died in CheonHwaWon.?

I cried all night silently in my room. I couldn’t bring myself to perform the CheonDoJe (ceremony guiding the soul to
pass beyond) and had someone else do it.

Another problem was with CheonIlAm. CheonIlAm brought in a lot of cash for the organization. Susungnim wanted
an expansion of the CheonIlAm operations. He created a CheonJi Divinity Center as a branch.
He also wanted 360 centers to open in Korea.
I told him that opening so many centers was too much and that we should try to craft our goal according to the income
numbers, instead of center numbers. He then said that 1 Million Dollars a month should the new goal for
net profit income.
He then told me to go see what the Unification Church was doing to earn money and copy them.
I didn’t go myself but sent my younger masters. I heard that they did group soul release sessions that brought in millions
of dollars a day. I heard about their teachings indirectly.

It was like any other religion in that they stimulated the fear factor of the worshippers to squeeze money out of them.

I thought that such actions were frauds.

[24]

But Susungnim said, since everyday people were of such low consciousness, they should be comforted by these
methods. I said that I couldn’t do it. I judged that such direction made us equal to any other religion and had nothing
to do with enlightenment, planting another set of preconceptions in people. I really wanted to get out of CheonIlAm.
I asked Susungnim to appoint me to a center master’s position, but he said no, saying that someone as tough as me
was had to be there to make it successful. He told me to make the operation so that I didn’t have to be there for it to run,
and to also train a replacement. All these things and more made me more judging and discerning of everything.
But I still thought, “Yes, since many disciples betrayed him, I guess he could do it this way.
As long as all this money is spent for the creation of Utopia and the Korean people.” I waited some more.

When we began working with JiH. Kim, we still had hope that all this money will now finally be used correctly;
this money that my fellow masters and I risked our lives to earn. However, now I no longer have that hope.
I now know all too well that the expansion of our organization is not the way.
The fact that we were not able to create not one single iota of proof for the bright future to come shows us that there was
no will to do it in the first place. The money we earned will be used for Susungnim’s personal idea of personal Utopia
but that has nothing to do with collective Utopia.

Another thing that put me off was the use of the term, “traitor?and “betrayed.?
Susungnim had appointed a male master to put in charge of CheonIlAm. I thought that he was unqualified and would
run it into bankruptcy. So I told him: “If you want to put him in charge of the operations, let him take over completely.
I don’t want to be held responsible for what he does. I want to leave completely.” He asked whether it would work
that way. I replied emotionally, “No, I don’t it would work out too well. But if you still want me responsible for the whole
thing, I don’t want to use him as my administrative head.” ?

When I called Susungnim again the next dawn on some other matter, he scolded me greatly for “having the seed
of betrayal?in me. Many high level masters called me to express their worry.
Several days later, when I was submitting a 12 page plan for the future operation of CheonIlAm, I sent along a letter
explaining my opposition for the male master’s appointment. That case was then smoothed over in that fashion.

BupY.-jang, after resigning her position as the head of Sedona retreat center, wanted to come back to Korea.
Susungnim called me at dawn and asked, “Does BupY.-jang want to come back to Korea?” ?
I knew that Susungnim was thinking of what a waste of a perfectly good visa it was if BupY.-jang came back to Korea.
Susungnim told me to tell BupY.-jang that “coming back to Korea was an act of betrayal.” ?
Of course, I didn’t tell BupY.-jang.

[25]

SooH. Jin was an older master than me ?he became a master before me.
While in the US, he didn’t use the Dahn sign but used another name. This was a complete act of betrayal.
He went to Susungnim and confessed and apologized. As a punishment, he was demoted and told to not work in a
Dahn center but go find a job in a regular American shop. But he could still live in a Dahn Center. Shortly afterwards,
however, he came back to Korea and went into a cave for 21 day no-food, no-sleep training, vowing that he would
become enlightened. Then he died.
According to the rumors, he died because he didn’t eat carefully after his 21-day fast.
Sunamjang asked me how to do a CheonDoJe and I told her. I could understand her mind.
SooH. Jin was one of the very early, original members. He was well respected.
I could really understand how desperate he felt.

Another incident involved SukJ.-jang. He had a difficult time adjusting to life within the organization.
He therefore got permission to go independent. But he failed.
He wanted to come back into the organization once more. We accepted. But he committed suicide.
On the surface, it was ruled a traffic accident. But we knew that it wasn’t.
He was one of the very first member also.

Susungnim said, “He always used to say that he’d rather die that betray me. Since he was always timid,
I never thought that he would have the guts. But I guess he did. His spirit is now in Sedona, training.” ?
After thus praising him, he instructed me to perform a CheonDoJe ceremony along with the top masters.

DahnJ.-jang quit. Then he gathered to himself those masters who he had taken care of and formed an independent,
separate organization. Susungnim was apoplectic with anger. He lectured that it was a blatant act of betrayal.

I realized that betrayal meant not doing what Susungnim wanted.
I also realized that this organization was designed to publicize Susungnim, the individual, and not the ideals of Utopia.
If you sought to publicize Utopia but not Susungnim, then you were also a traitor.
Of course, at first, I thought that since only tan enlightened person could know what a Utopia was, everything that
Susungnim did was the way to the promised land. Now I know differently.

In other words, the growth of our organization actually interferes with the emergence of the ideal, utopian world that
we all aim for. This means that all the methods that Susungnim is using are wrong.

[26]

In that sense, betrayal is meaningless ?everyone, once you have gained a certain level of study, must go on their
separate ways and deal with the world in their creative ways and continue on their studies.
Then they can come together again when there is a need to come together. But to stay within a framework in which
one person’s word alone decides what is betrayal or not is not something a really enlightened person would do.

Of course, a grand vision is something that someone with a large consciousness can suggest but people should
be able to participate on their own and decide on the issues.
The speed would not be as quick but it would provide everyone with a chance to grow. Our organization always want
something strong and bright. I think that brightness must come together to become strong.
Just because something is strong does not mean that it is bright.

I also have a wary eye on violence. Susungnim always wanted something strong.
He said that our organization should no longer be weak but produce fear in others. One day, he said to me:

“I once visited the 3rd region. Three masters bowed down to me and one of them asked a question. As I left, I saw the
master who had asked me the question were on his knees begging for forgiveness for having committed a deadly sin.
I asked about it later to YoungJ.-jang [3rd region managing master ?now head of Korean Institute of Brain Science].
She told me that the other two masters beat him up in a room for having asked me a stupid question.
That region is like the communists. YoungJ.-jang really controls her people well.?
On Susungnim’s instructions, ChungH.-jang really tried hard to learn YoungJ.-jang’s control know-how.
In another incident, YoungJ.-jang led a group of members to Sedona on a meditation trip.
During the trip, one of the women members said something silly, supposedly.
YoungJ.-jang instructed one of the female masters to hit the woman. The female master cursed and hit the member.
Then the police came. Since the female master didn’t speak English, she just smiled and the police went away,
thinking that nothing was wrong.
Later on the night, that female master [who hit the member] was called over to Susungnim’s room and received
a personal massage from him. Since this was the first time she had experienced this, she was in heaven.

When they came back to Korea, the member who had been cursed at and beaten came to apologize to YoungJ.-jang.
YoungJ.-jang thought that even such actions were necessary when you were trying to teach ?she recounted the story
proudly in front of other 3rd region masters during a meeting.
During those times, there were many incidents of minor violence in the 3rd region.
After DaeW.-jang punished one incident in the 3rd region, the violence seems to have abated somewhat.

[27]

However, the real problem lay simmering. I knew why these violence occurred.
That’s because everyone was under inhumane pressure to produce income and there was no space to release stress.
Even violence was forgiven, or even thought helpful, to produce more income.

HaJ. Yoo called me. WooA.-jang was her superior.
During a dinner, after having drunk alcohol, WooA.-jang spit at her and called her a bitch for not sharing her secrets
with other masters. She wanted to know what to do. After Susungnim found out, he personally comforted her and
switched her over to YoungJ.-jang’s care. Then he wanted to see Wooamjang at the airport as he left the country,
but WooA.-jang didn’t show and the whole thing was left at that.

There was an incident in CheonHwaWon also. I pressured DaA.-jang for more income and he, in turn, pressured
the master who was in charge of general affairs. There was an incidence of violence between the two.
DaA.-jang tendered his resignation but I persuade him to stay.
I instead sent the master who was in charge of the general affairs to another place and smoothed the whole thing over.

ChoongA.-jang’s violence was famous. ChoongA.-jang is the younger brother of Susungnim.

When he was running the CheonJiIn Sangsa [merchandising company for Dahn], he used to hit a lot of masters.
All the incidents were hushed up for a while until Master Choi got hit and reported directly to Susungnim.
After this, ChoongA.-jang was only the owner of CheonJiIn Sansa in name and nothing to do with its operations
?he only was put in charge of HanSegye Constructions.
The problem was that Master Choi who had reported the violence was also demoted and sent to America.

There was an overall understanding in our organization that violence could be justified and used for the right purposes
if needed.

One day, Susungnim instructed me: “Since I need bodyguards and we also need to threaten those people who want
to go independent, we should become a fearful organization.
Since CheolU. Han said that he used to be the administrative manager of a nationwide violent gang, you take care of
his matter. I will give you a budget of $10,000 a month and see if you can make such an arm of our organization.?

I discussed this with DaeW.-jang and he said that since we are not a conspiratorial organization, he would rather
not see it done. I told Susungnim of another method and told him that I couldn’t do it.

During the incident when JiH. Kim left and Susungnim was in Korea trying to take care of the problem, he said:

“When a Catholic priest said something bad about some other religious figure, that religious figure’s worshipper went
and threw human waste at the Catholic priest. JiH. Kim could die too.?

[28]

From all these incidents and others, I judged that Susungnim could use violence to further his own interests.
I still think that this is wrong. Personally, I don’t think that violence could be justified under any reasons. Even worse,
violence perpetrated to further the ends of an organization, a self ?claimed Tao organization, is even worse.

Now, I want to speak about the things that led me to decide to quit being a master, the events surrounding DaeW.-jang,
JiH. Kim, and related matters.

[NewDahn Note: JiH. Kim is a famous poet known for his democratic and patriotic causes.
He had been jailed many times by South Korean dictatorial regimes. JiH.Kim was originally impressed by Ilchi Lee’s
work on behalf of Dangun, the original founder of Korea, and joined the organization. Ilchi Lee’s Dangun movement
was bitterly opposed by the Christian Right of Korea, who deemed it idolatry. JiH. Kim broke with Ilchi Lee in 1999
after a famous press conference accusing Ilchi Lee as an immoral fraud.]

It was shortly after the Policy Team was created, led by DaeW.-jang. They wanted to meet with me separately.
They spoke of the need to retool many parts of the organization and wanted help.
I agreed and told them, since I believed in DaeW.-jang, whatever he did, I would support it.

And JiH. Kim took over the MinShiRyun [Korean Nationalistic Civic Group] and Susungnim instructed everyone to support him. However, DaeW.-jang expressed his worry over JiH. Kim’s direction. I also thought that, knowing
Susungnim’s working style, JiH. Kim and Susungnim would run cross against each other.
Further, if we didn’t control the very active rumor mill within our organization, I thought there might be problems.

Susungnim always says that he trusts someone 100% in the beginning when instructing him or her with some project,
but there are always problems later on. Therefore, I wanted for JiH. Kim to consult with DaeW.-jang in his work.
I reported thus to Susungnim.

But Susungnim said that he only trusted JiH. Kim. But, before long, JiH. Kim asked complained to me that Susungnim
was micromanaging even the tiniest details and in this way, the bigger picture might get ruined.
He wanted me to become a go between.

I suggested a 3 ?Way meeting solution.

I wanted to get DaeW.-jang’s suggestions and conclude most matters at his level, without going up to Susungnim’s
level. I wanted these meetings to be kept secret. The reason for the secrecy was that Susungnim did not like
DaeW.-jang meeting with JiH. Kim. Also, we had to write detailed report to Susungnim every time we met, and it took
a long time to write those reports.
And I didn’t want Susungnim to instruct me on a separate agenda in those 3 ?way meetings.


[29]

I just told EumH. (who was in charge of BCC, secretarial dept. under direct control of Susungnim) of the existence
of such meetings. We had several 3 ?way meetings but there was nothing big enough for Susungnim to decide
himself. It was a meeting of sharing information. It worked well.

By phone, Susungnim spoke to JiH. Kim and DaeW.-jang of his opinion of Han Munryun petition (this was a nationalistic
petition to be published in newspapers). Both of them disagreed with Susungnim’s opinion.
They wanted Susungnim to trust them enough to leave the work up to them.

I got a call from Susungnim, who said: “When I talk to you, I feel blocked in the chest. It is obvious that both JiH. Kim and
DaeW.jang have negative information about me.
You judge both JiH. Kim and DaeW.-jang according to your conscience and report to me about them.?

I understood what was going on generally. I first checked with EumH. and MiJ. Shin to see how they had reported
to Susungnim about me. Ultimately, they decided to go with Susungnim wishes on how to proceed with the petition.
The result was not good.

JiH. Kim stated that Susungnim must change his working style. JiH. Kim said that he would risk any humiliation to
succeed in his work in order to change Susungnim’s style also. I agreed and told him of the problems within our
organization (about 60% of the contents of the letter) to help him reform the organization. However, the result was
the opposite of what I expected. JiH. Kim became very angry and regretful over his original decision to join the
organization. In the meanwhile, HyungT. Lee, senior advisor to Dahn organization, came to Korea.

HyunT. Lee said: “We only need 100 masters willing to risk their lives. Blood must be shed.
We need to aim guns at the Christian ministers and threaten them. We need masters willing to go to jail.” I discussed
this with JiH. Kim. Upon hearing this, he became angrier. He said, “That man does not know the meaning of terrorism.
I don’t even need to meet with him.” ?

I discussed this with DaeW.-jang. He said, as long as he was there as the Executive Manager of Dahn Korea,
something like that would not happen. We had another 3 ?way meeting. At that meeting, JiH. Kim, in an emotional
voice, recorded what he wanted to say to Susungnim on a tape. I had plans to meet with Susungnim in Beijing.
JiH. Kim wanted me to deliver the tape to Susungnim in Beijing. DaeW.-jang agreed that the tape should be delivered
without any editing. So I did.

The tape basically said: “If you continue on this path, Dahn will be no more within 3 years. You are not an enlightened
man. I renounce you as my teacher. You should listen to my advice instead from now on.?

[30]

Susungnim got angry at these words. “If JiH. Kim apologizes for the three things he said on the tape, I will forgive
him and never interfere with his work. But if he doesn’t, I will end the relationship.” ?

When I came back to Korea, I hid from everyone for two days and rested. Then I discussed with DaeW.-jang.
He proposed lying to both JiH. Kim and Susungnim to allow them to come together and talk with each other directly.
But they both knew each other well and both wanted to end the relatioinship.

Susungnim told me to take the responsibility for this incident. All I wanted to do was to become a center manager
and live with AR.-jang. I wrote down an official apology, just as Susungnim wanted, and became demoted to a lower
level master and allowed to go to a center. Susungnim, in a nationwide masters lecture, spoke about me. “She wanted
to be God but, because of pride, ate from the tree of knowledge. Enemy within is always the more dangerous.” ?
And he projected my apology letter on a huge screen for all the masters to see.

A few days later, Susungnim visited me in CheonIlAm and said: “You sin was that, under the pretense of protecting
DaeW.-jang and JiH. Kim, I was no longer in the center of your heart. You cannot have anyone more important than me
in your life. Go to Japan. I will get a visa for you. Go there and succeed without JiH. Kim.
Then come back successfully. Kill that bug in your head. If you disturb me one more time, you will die.” ?

I then received a 15 day rest. In the meanwhile, I met with Song00 member. I told her everything.

Then HyungT. Lee wanted to see me, saying that he had to tell me something that Susungnim wanted to tell me.
He actually told me he defended me: when some male master said that I was a bitch, he told that master if he ever
saw me act like a bitch to say such thing. I told him that although I understood people having suspicions about my
relationship with Susungnim, I didn’t understand people having suspicions about me and JiH. Kim.
Listening to him, I was even more discouraged and wanted to quit being a master.

HyungT. Lee told me that other masters reported to Susungnim that my phone voice was still as bright as ever and that
I showed no signs of remorse. Susungnim told me to stay quiet and repent. That discouraged me even more

[31]

So many masters called. I told them all that whatever Susungnim said was right and to obey him in all things.
To those who cursed me, I apologized for not setting a good example. That evening, I went to stay at a place that a
close member had prepared for me. On the second night, Susungnim called me directly: “…Don’t go around saying
useless things and go to Japan as soon as possible. And even in Japan, don’t stay in the local center but go become
a pioneer and don’t come back to Korea…”

I was tired. I couldn’t do anything. Then that close member made a pass at me at night. In the other room, my assistant
master was sleeping. I refused his advances and asked him why. He said that he thought all Dahn masters practiced
free sex. I said he was wrong. I then slept next to my assistant master and cried all night. I was at my wits?end.
When my cell phone rang, I cried into the phone without caring who it was. It was JiH. Kim's wife.

I then went to Ilsan and told JiH. Kim that I was going to quit. I also told DaeW.-jang by phone that I was quitting.
I said that won’t ever think of Tao, enlightenment, spirit, or things like that again. I went on a trip.
After coming back, I got a small room in Wondang, which I was cheaper than Seoul. I knew Wondang from my days
there as a center master. I only contacted JiH. Kim, Song00, and Daewonjang. To DaeW.-jang, I asked whether
he could recommend me to a job, even manual labor. JiH. Kim told me that I could have an administrative job in his
office. I said OK.



And this is all that’s happened until now. I sincerely apologize to all those who loved me and whom I loved.
I just don’t know right now how I could this situation.
To tell you truthfully, I feel like I am standing in a place where different set of rules apply. I feel like a little kid.

[32]

Everyone knows of the dream of Utopia. Many people, including me, have gone through mistakes in trying to make it
happen. The biggest reason is that personal ambition and greed always become a higher priority than the original
vision. Until now, I worried that people might think that it was my personal desires that made all these things happen.
But now, I understand that even that fear of misunderstanding is a result of my ego.

I don’t care now who misunderstands me. I just worry about those young people like me who, in their pure heart
and vigor, are risking their health and lives to save the Korean people.
I also know that 80% of the masters and members have no idea of what’s going on.
I also know that there are masters who think differently having the same information that I have. What I am doing
now could be twisted to serve these people’s purposes. However, not doing anything and keeping quiet about all these,
living my life in a compromise with my past, I couldn’t live like that. Even writing this letter is wrong, then I will learn
from it. If you want to discuss with me on how to solve this, contact me and I will take you phone call.
I will accept calls only from Dahn members or masters. My number is 000-000-0000. You might no believe me,
but I really loved Dahn and respect all those whom I met in Dahn. I hope you forgive me of all my sins that I might
have committed unknowingly.