You know you are Russian when...

Your baba's pirogi are better than your friend's baba's.

When Americans ask you, you specify right away that you are Russian, not Ukrainian.

When something goes wrong, your friends will probably mention your mother :) (LOL)

Your uncle is in the Russian Mafia or is a former employee of the KGB

"Chut' Chut'" and "Na glaz" are acceptable standards of measurment. You sure as hell don't use a measuring cup.

Your parents call you all sorts of farm animals when you get them mad

When you walk down the street with your fam, people generally try to get out of your way.

Tito Ortiz, Arnold and Myke Tyson combined aint got nothing on your uncle Vasia.

Vodka is just a part of your diet.

You spend your fri and sat nights at a rave with 200 other Russians

Your history teacher is amazed with your knowledge of Eastern European history

Before you start dating someone you double check with your baba to make sure you're not related

You stand around in a large circle  for an hour deciding what to do.

You drive a stick shift and make fun of those who don't by calling them "lohs"

If you're a guy and you can't play soccer or hockey by the time you're 6, you're pretty much just gonna die.

You know what Cheburashka is and at least once you have attempted to explain it to one of your American friends.

Your house is full of Russian medicine that is probably illegal here.

You just happen to know a few places where one could buy an AK47, shmal', kolesa and all sorts of other things.

You like the whole "shaved head" look.(haha, Yep, that's me)

Your mom ever chased you with a rolling pin or a broom telling you to stop so that she could hit you.

Your 15 year old sister can out-drink any American guy

You own a leather jacket... You pretty much wear SOME type of leather no matter what the weather conditions are.

Your dad carries around enough money to buy a car.

You are prohibited from speaking English in you own home.

If you are a girl and not married by the age of 20 you are an old maid

You come home at 3am and your parents are still out partying with all your friend's parents

Your car have a RU (Russia) sticker on the back bumper

Your car windows are tinted twice the legal limit... and you play techno in your car. Loud. Really loud. 

You're actually nodding and laughing at most of these things



WHY Russians rock:

You don't speak Ukrainian or any of that. Why? They have to learn to speak Russian anyway. Why?...That's right, cuz we are better like that:)

Your parents can outdrink just about anybody else's parents

You have the "connections" to get a "good deal" on just about anything...  then sell it to American's and make $.

You can identify other Russians by their scent of D&G or Aqua de Gio cologne.

You have a personalized license plate

Putin is the shit.

You can spot one of your own from a mile away

Girls: You know how to make Pel'meni, solyanka, pirogi (in 18 different flavors), blini and just about anything

Guys: You can fix cars, play soccer and you are a champion at "dyrak"

You dont have a drinking problem. Its not alcoholism- its a tradition