My mom has a boyfriend, and his name is Buzz. If you know me IRL, then chances are you know Buzz too. If you don't, chances are you've heard about him.

I was trying to sleep a couple of days ago because I had to get up for work. My mom had let me sleep in hers and Buzz's room because that bed is more comfy, and I was gonna be waking up before they had to sleep anyway.

I was woken up by, of course, Buzz yelling at my mom. He was calling her a slut, a whore, etc and accusing her of sleeping with other guys. I don't even remember everything he said, but I think he had some things to say about me too. He always does.

At some point I heard a loud CRASH, and I heard my mom yelling at him about breaking my computer...

Buzz you fucker! I KNOW you didn't just break MY computer!

I got up and looked, and of course, there's my computer looking normal, but with the keyboard and mouse ripped out of it.

Damage is as follows: Keyboard wire pulled out of keyboard serial plug. Plug still in computer with wires sticking out of it. Mouse's USB to Serial adapter ruined, it's plug ripped off and still in computer.

I was able to work around his damage, while of course the two of them continued to yell at eachother. It didn't help that he all of a sudden got friendly and tried to help me fix it, but I managed to do it.

1: I had an extra keyboard. The little black guiding tab from the old one was still stuck in my computer so I broke off the tab on my extra keyboard. 2: I threw away the trashed USB to Serial adapter and plugged my mouse into a USB port, then reinstalled the driver for the mouse so it would work in the USB port.

Back on topic, Buzz was soon at it again, shifting back to being an ass like he always does when being a panzy-assed pussy and begging for forgiveness doesn't get him what he wants. He continued to do what he normally does. Yell at my mom and blame everything on her, and on me.

Me? Why the hell are you bringing Me into your shit? I didn't do anything to you. I just live here. I'm not the one ruining your guys's relationship. You did that yourself you idiot, so stop blaming it on me.

It would've been just like any other night when they'd yelled at eachother, except this night he decided to take it a little further. He walked over here to where I was sitting and pulled his fist back saying he was gonna kick my ass. I stared his ass down and clenched my fists so hard that all of my knuckles cracked simultaneously. It sounded quite intimidating. Guess what happens next. He comes back over and yells some more, at me, "You threaten me and I'll kick your ass!" At some point he also told my mom that if he went to jail, that he'd kick -my- ass when he got out. Which is when I stood up, for I was sitting in the chair in front of my computer up until this point.

I KNOW you didn't just come over here pulling your fist back like you're gonna hit me, and I KNOW you didn't just come back over here telling ME that I'd better not threaten YOU. Boy I WILL KICK YOUR ASS! You think I can't? I have quick reflexes derived from a lifetime of playing video games, and I have a highly inevntive imagination. I'D BREAK YOUR ASS. Not only do I have the afore mentioned avantages, but he was drunk too. He wouldn't have stood a chance. I was standing here ready to take him. All I was waiting for was for him to make the first move, which never happened.

He went on to yelling at my mom some more, picking up the DVD player and throwing it on the ground. Yelling some more, and grabbing my mom's expensive fancy musical keyboard and going outside with it. When my mom followed him, screaming, and all I could hear outside was a bunch of screaming, I called the cops on his ass.

Of course, Buzz's dad was here by then. My mom had called him and asked him to take Buzz to his house, keeping a promise she made to his dad not to call the police on Buzz. When my mom saw me talking on the phone and I let her know who I was talking to, she actually -went outside and warned them- that I had called the police. Now, you'd think Buzz would be the one who'd retalliate, but no. His DAD grabbed my mom around the neck. WTF?

Okay, Now I've got a slightly better idea of where Buzz's shit comes from. Either it's a learned behavior from his dad, or it's genetic. Personally, I'd hope for the former, but either way Buzz, you're fucked up. You're a fucked up adult, and you were probably a fucked up child too. You're just plain fucked. And that's all there fucking is to it.

He and his dad left before the police got here, but I told them everything, from everything that had happened that night to how he blames me for all of their relationship problems, even going so far as to think that it's my fault he got thrown in jail the first time, because apparently my wanting to leave because of his shit upset my mom, which upset him, which caused him to hit her, and because I was the one who caused that that I am the one who should've been thrown in jail, and I should be killed. I also told them how he shifts back and forth between being an asshole and a pussy, like he's just pretending to want forgiveness. I even told them that I overheard my mom say something to him once about him hitting his daughter in the stomach with a baseball bat. My mom tried to soften the story, because she either cared about Buzz still or about his Dad, who has a risk of a heart attack from too much stress. Oh, I painted a purty picture of Buzz for the nice police-men who came over here that night. They know -everything- I had to tell them about him.

How did a night like that start anyway? Like most of the other situations like this started. He couldnt get any action from my mom, therefore she must be fucking someone else. Way to go dickhead. My mom worked a 12 hour work day and wants to watch TV, and you get home after drinking at the bar and ask her to dress up for you and have sex with you? And then when she refuses, you accuse her of being a whore, a slut, and fucking other men (even throwing black men in there for some reason) just because she won't fuck you?

Have you ever stopped to think that maybe it's YOUR fault, not hers? Maybe you're a piece of shit and the thought of having sex with you disguists her. Did you ever think of that one, genius? Maybe she's tired of you trying to -convince- her to have sex with you and -beg- her to have sex with you, and then starting a whole night of shit like that when she shoots down your desperate ass. You're a real romance god you know that? Sex isn't something you -ask- for. You don't -beg- for it. You don't even do nice things for her and then act like she -owes- you sex, for god sake, you moron. I'm less than half your age, and a virgin, and here I am giving you romantic advise. What the hell kind of a man are you?

So yeah, He's gone, staying somewhere in rockford. [Update: He's still in Marengo, in the Sunset Motell.] I had my mom lock up the house, and lock the sliding bolt and the chains we had originally installed because of him anyway. There's no way he's getting in here unless he's escorted by his mom, and I even gave my mom some tips on how to swing a nunchuck effectively so if he tries anything she can beat his ass with his own nunchucks.

You know what your problem is Buzz? You drink too much. Alcohol simply lifts the mask of nice-ness you have pulled over yourself, but if you didn't drink, you'd be able to keep it on and hide your ugly self. I mean, seriously. Some people drink, but Buzz is obsessed with beer. Old Style to be precise. He drinks it, he collects the cans, he has an Old Style shirt, an Old Style Stein. He even cooks with Old Style. He makes bratwursts with it, he makes beer can chicken with it, he marinates meat with it, he puts it in chili, he puts it in MACARONI AND CHEESE for cryin out loud! There's amost nothing he doesn't cook using Old Style. WTF, he even hangs Old Style cans from our CHRISTMAS TREE. Jebus man, get a real life that is free from beer and my mom -might- be willing to change her mind about your relationship being over.