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she smelled like trees. So, Charlie Manson knocks up a nymph... [Stop me if you've heard this one.]

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she smelled like trees.



Last Updated: 9/8/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 24
Sign: Pisces

City: Mmmphis
State: Tennessee
Signup Date: 10/26/2007

Who Gives Kudos:

Timothy M. .. (2)
Scarred Wra.. (2)

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Saturday, March 22, 2008 
This morning, when sending a text to a friend of mine, I struck upon an idea I ratherquiteverymuchalot liked - one that could potentially restore my faith in religion.

Ahem.







Jesus is a zombie!




[...and that is fucking rad.]









Think about it:




[A] Jesus = death + resurrection.

[B] death + resurrection = undeath.

[C] undeath = zombie.




So, really, all you have to do is employ the handy-dandy Transitive Property [that holiest of geometry tenets I so adore because of the way it spills out into the world-at-large, even the tiniest crevices]; then, the equation looks like this:

Jesus = zombie.














...I think I just became a Christian, folks.










[Oooooh, do you think Jesus knows the "Thriller" dance? How cool would that be?]
Currently listening:
The Odd Couple
By Gnarls Barkley
Release date: 21 March, 2008
3:07 PM
 
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Timothy M. Eubanks!
Timothy Eubanks

 
I think a lot of people would be disappointed if Jesus came back and I took him out with a rifle shot to the head. Of course, when he decided to make his flock his dinner they might have a temporary lapse of faith. Or, yes, it could become the Thriller video.

(imagine Jesus saying, "I'm not like other guys"- and then- Werewolf Jesus in a letter jacket! I would definitely follow Werewolf Jesus, and I'm not the only one.)

Night of the Living Jesus. Who wouldn't enjoy that?

The whole world gathers to listen to the newly resurrected messiah's sermon. There is a hush as he ascends the mount, his legs shuffling unsteadily. Zombie Jesus lifts his arms wide as though he's embracing the whole of the horizon and says but one word:

"Braaaaiinnnnsssss!"

Now that's a parable I can appreciate.
 
Posted by Timothy M. Eubanks! on Saturday, March 22, 2008 - 3:37 PM
[Reply to this] 
Scarred Wrabble

 
Just off the top of my head, I would say that Zombie Jesus needs to have at least one hand that is a shotgun, or maybe a chainsaw as per Bruce Campbell in Army of Darkness. I could totally get on board with that religion.
 
Posted by Scarred Wrabble on Sunday, March 23, 2008 - 8:33 PM
[Reply to this] 
garrett

 
fuck all the rambling.
<img src="http://blog.wired.com/tableofmalcontents/images/2007/05/14/jesus_supper_zombie.jpg">
 
Posted by garrett on Friday, March 28, 2008 - 10:22 PM
[Reply to this] 
garrett

 
and fuck your no html having ass.
 
Posted by garrett on Friday, March 28, 2008 - 10:23 PM
[Reply to this]