Falling Down Dark Tunnels... Into the Light...
Tunnels, tunnels, falling down dark tunnels... Lately I have found myself falling down all manner of dark tunnels, tunnels of judgments, tunnels of fears, tunnels of negativity and depression, oh so many dark tunnels.... I have found after observing myself for a while, my negative mind in my present had been manifesting from my own past/future projections, where I had been casting my happiness into the future then getting annoyed at the present for it not showing up.... Crazy, madness!
Only a mind could do this, only a mind could create such sorrow and confusion coloured with a false happiness projected into the future. Only an ego scared for it's life would create such distraction from truth, dreaming that it's the ruler creating a never-ending cycle of illusion with all manner of physical/emotional dramas to play out where it gets to play the head role like a puppet master with it's strings tied all around the puppet.. Oh the mind what are you up to...
I find I have just been feeling heavy and burdened, stressed and frustrated a lot of the time forgetting altogether that it was me in the first place creating the illusion leaving myself wondering why life is being so negative all of the time, letting myself believe all types of excuses for my behavior and the way I've been feeling. It is easy to forget something that is always there, it is easy in life to just let things happen, it is easy to play victim to life but it is even easier, in fact oh so much more elegant and simple, to just let be and let go...
The moment you let go (let go of control of your life) is the moment you're set free from the never-ending burden of controlling your life. All the expectations, all the projections matter no more. It is the moment your life finds balance in itself, controlling itself if you like, and by jolly Jo! does it not do a wonderful job. It seems to know the quickest most direct harmonious balanced route to any and every desired experience, all you have to do is nothing, no-thing, just let go and let be...
When I let this happen in my life, I've found my mind without doing anything at all turning into a positive mind content with whatever is showing up in the present moment. Whereas before when I (mind/ego) was in control I was always striving to be happy or content at some point in the future by doing something in the present but this was always just a prolonged false projection of happiness in the present because it would come at some point in the future. I was doing stuff in the present so I could be happy in the future... madness
It's not all bad, I was definitely close, I'd just got the formula mixed up. Instead of being then doing, I was doing then being. You don't do happy to be happy, you be first always, then do. This is how the universe seems to work, well how I have found it to work anyways.
When I feel the negativity coming back (and it still does sometimes) I am going to remember this, it is me (my mind) creating these feelings and these dramas, it is my ego trying to play god. I shall remember to not get lost in the illusion, my own illusion. I shall remember to simply become aware of this and just let go and let be...
Wonderful! But hey isn't it the mind, my mind, that just created this new understanding..! Do you think it's just playing another game, getting me to play another role... Well if it is, it's most definitely more pleasant and harmonious than the one before, so I reckon I'll just go with it, give it a shot and see what happens and just quite simply let go...
wlsn (", namaste we are all one