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Wilson

Wilson Noble


Last Updated: 10/23/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 29
Sign: Capricorn

Country: UK
Signup Date: 11/8/2007

Who Gives Kudos:


Thursday, December 20, 2007 

Current mood:fantabulous....
Category: Writing and Poetry


Falling Down Dark Tunnels... Into the Light...


Tunnels, tunnels, falling down dark tunnels...  Lately I have found myself falling down all manner of dark tunnels, tunnels of judgments, tunnels of fears, tunnels of negativity and depression, oh so many dark tunnels....  I have found after observing myself for a while, my negative mind in my present had been manifesting from my own past/future projections, where I had been casting my happiness into the future then getting annoyed at the present for it not showing up....  Crazy, madness!

Only a mind could do this, only a mind could create such sorrow and confusion coloured with a false happiness projected into the future.  Only an ego scared for it's life would create such distraction from truth, dreaming that it's the ruler creating a never-ending cycle of illusion with all manner of physical/emotional dramas to play out where it gets to play the head role like a puppet master with it's strings tied all around the puppet..  Oh the mind what are you up to...

I find I have just been feeling heavy and burdened, stressed and frustrated a lot of the time forgetting altogether that it was me in the first place creating the illusion leaving myself wondering why life is being so negative all of the time, letting myself believe all types of excuses for my behavior and the way I've been feeling.  It is easy to forget something that is always there, it is easy in life to just let things happen, it is easy to play victim to life but it is even easier, in fact oh so much more elegant and simple, to just let be and let go...

The moment you let go (let go of control of your life) is the moment you're set free from the never-ending burden of controlling your life.  All the expectations, all the projections matter no more.  It is the moment your life finds balance in itself, controlling itself if you like, and by jolly Jo! does it not do a wonderful job.  It seems to know the quickest most direct harmonious balanced route to any and every desired experience, all you have to do is nothing, no-thing, just let go and let be...

When I let this happen in my life, I've found my mind without doing anything at all turning into a positive mind content with whatever is showing up in the present moment.  Whereas before when I (mind/ego) was in control I was always striving to be happy or content at some point in the future by doing something in the present but this was always just a prolonged false projection of happiness in the present because it would come at some point in the future.  I was doing stuff in the present so I could be happy in the future... madness

It's not all bad, I was definitely close, I'd just got the formula mixed up.  Instead of being then doing, I was doing then being.  You don't do happy to be happy, you be first always, then do.  This is how the universe seems to work, well how I have found it to work anyways. 
When I feel the negativity coming back (and it still does sometimes) I am going to remember this, it is me (my mind) creating these feelings and these dramas, it is my ego trying to play god.  I shall remember to not get lost in the illusion, my own illusion.  I shall remember to simply become aware of this and just let go and let be...
Wonderful!  But hey isn't it the mind, my mind, that just created this new understanding..!  Do you think it's just playing another game, getting me to play another role...  Well if it is, it's most definitely more pleasant and harmonious than the one before, so I reckon I'll just go with it, give it a shot and see what happens and just quite simply let go...









wlsn
(",
namaste
we are all one



Currently reading:
Shaman, Healer, Sage: How to Heal Yourself and Others with the Energy Medicine of the Americas
By Alberto Phd Villoldo
Release date: 19 December, 2000
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NESS from GetUpandThink
Ness Errahmani

 
Hum Interesting.......


Peace

NESS
 
Posted by NESS from GetUpandThink on Thursday, December 20, 2007 - 6:31 PM
[Reply to this
A shadow wearing a mask
Jennifer Wymer

 
It is easy to identify with the mind. Eckhart Tolle says that the servant (the mind) has become the master. The mind is a tool to be used when needed, then put down when it is not needed. But it is very difficult to either NOT think or watch the thinking from present moment awareness.
I always find myself thinking ahead. There are many things that I want to do, many visions that I see about the future as clearly as I see memories. I am anxious to get there, but I can't get there without being here. We have to pay attention to the step that we are taking now.
Eckhart Tolle also says, "You can't find yourself by going into the past, you find yourself by coming into the present."
"The Power of Now" has to be the best book that I have read about being present. It is so very clear and full of meaning and insight.

"Shaman, Healer, Sage" was a very inspiring and magical book. I was looking up flights to Peru. It would certainly be mind opening to experience a culture so very different than the industrialized world....
Another great story, along a similar line, is called "Mutant Message from Down Under." It is about a woman's experience with the aboringinal tribes in Austrailia. Very easy read, very amazing story.

Good luck with your present moment awareness.
May peace and love be you.
 
Posted by A shadow wearing a mask on Thursday, December 20, 2007 - 7:24 PM
[Reply to this
Aine MacAodha Poetry.
Aine MacAodha

 
Very interesting post, the ego/critic has to be wrestled with at all times, it's hard work but worth the struggle in the end, blessings to you, Aine :)
 
Posted by Aine MacAodha Poetry. on Thursday, December 20, 2007 - 10:32 PM
[Reply to this
FinesseFlixx
Yeshav Basnight

 
makes all the sense in the world.... Thankyou.
 
Posted by FinesseFlixx on Friday, December 21, 2007 - 7:18 AM
[Reply to this
Mr. Strange

 
Well, I'm sorry that you're in a rough spot, and I do know that you'll absolutely figure this one out.
You're too bright, too positive to stay in that place for long.
 
Posted by Mr. Strange on Friday, December 21, 2007 - 10:18 AM
[Reply to this
Judge Not....
Choiceless Awareness

 
Know where you are coming from.When we first met,I picked up on the fact that you were somehow ignoring the negative,trying to project the positive,and I commented on that.

LET GO,NON-Doing IS the answer.

You say BEING then DOING,sounds good,but this shows,from my experience,what you already suspect,"the mind...just playing another game".....Joining the word "being" to the word "doing",with the word "then",shows (a)"now"is absent (b)"being" is subsidiary to "doing"(c)this is mind,giving itself a more spiritually acceptable name-"being".

What is really needed,is to really let go of the mind,however it tries to call itself,and allow things to happen without any help from "I".

NON-BEING ! I have tasted this state of existence,and it is very difficult to remain a long time in it,the habits of mind are so entrenched,and I have not found it a permanent state,"I"still exist,and the mind and heart are in controll most of every day,throwing bits of negativity,thoughts,sadnesses at me.I try not to repress them.I try to embrace them gently,and sometimes a sadness becomes a joyful sadness,if that makes any sense.But even that is doing,awareness,simple awareness is better.

My first taste of NON-BEING came about after I had been trying really hard to DO something,and I was told that I was not trying,I (the mind,as it likes to do)then went to the opposite extreme,and STOP DOING,and then spent six months in and out of NON-BEING,NON-DOING,and NO-MIND.I then wasted many years trying to BE again-the mind BEing in controll most of the time. "I" am still here,but there is everthing possible when "I" am not !

My guess/understanding is that Buddha "attained" when all his years of DOING meditation techniques had proved fruitless,and his mind stopped trying to BE,and let go,and in that moment there was just a NON-BEING resting under a bodhi tree,and NON-BEING remained/remains in the moment forever.

So,we are not so fed up of the "search",so frustrated that we can,right now,in this moment,LET GO,into nothingness.Let us perhaps DO everything we can to help AWARENESS grow.More than this I don't know,"I" am still here.
 
Posted by Judge Not.... on Friday, December 21, 2007 - 11:51 AM
[Reply to this
Michael Skowronski
Michael Skowronski

 
Wilson,

This is a very great observation about life, many others have found the same. We suffer due to our attachments to the outcomes in our life. Not due to our desires. We suffer due to what our mind is doing, not due to outside circumstances.

Our minds run on habit most of the time. This is why it is essential for you to change your habits of thought. I wrote a blog called Reprogramming Yourself which details the steps for doing so. This is a VERY POWERFUL PRACTICE. It will change your life dramatically for the better, both on the inside and on the outside.

And please, do subscribe to my blogs too. I am sure you will love them!

Kind and loving regards,
Michael Skowronski
 
Posted by Michael Skowronski on Saturday, December 22, 2007 - 5:39 PM
[Reply to this
GreenLakeBlue

 
Negativity ... I so much know about it. Most of the times without knowing the reason, which makes things even worst.
You're wise and aware. It must go away. Replaced by positivity.
 
Posted by GreenLakeBlue on Sunday, January 06, 2008 - 2:19 AM
[Reply to this
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