Dear Wilson,

You certainly are an alalytical guy aren't you! Hah.. it's okay, I'm pretty susceptible to "mindfuck" (as I affectionately like to refer to it) myself. I have been feeling just the same as you lately, very discouraged. I'm with you bro, it's not easy, but there are moments of clarity, and the knowledge that it's impossible to stay where we are. And certain things I've come to lean on to help me along - good friends, and good books. You sound like you could do with a good inspirational read - a book that doesn't just talk about concept and theory... a story. I love Buddhism and love many of the books on the subject (my favourite Buddhist writer is Pema Chodron), but sometimes a story can give you that boost - and bring you some comfort. I highly recommend "Illusions" by Richard Bach :) And of course, always "The Prophet" by Khalil Gibran - it's my most favourite book ever and has been the greatest comfort to me. Here is an excerpt:

*On Pain*

And a woman spoke, saying, Tell us of Pain,
And he said:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.


***

And for your dose of Buddhist philosophy, here's an excerpt from "The Wisdom Of No Escape" by Pema Chodron:


Loving-kindness -- maitri -- toward ourselves doesn't mean getting rid of anything. Maitri means that we can still be crazy after all these years. We can still be angry after all these years. We can still be timid or jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness. The point is not to try to change ourselves. Meditation practice isn't about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It's about befriending who we are already. The ground of practice is you or me or whoever we are right now, just as we are. That's the ground, that's what we study, that's what we come to know with tremendous curiosity and interest.


and one from Pema's "When Things Fall Apart":


When things fall apart and we're on the verge of we know not what, the test of each of us is to stay on the brink and not concretize. The spiritual journey is not about heaven and finally getting to a place that's really swell. In fact, that way of looking at things is what keeps us miserable. When you have made good friends with yourself, your situation will be more friendly too.

***

Pretty good news, eh?

Cheers ~
Rebecca
 

Thank you so much for sharing the words of Khalil Gibran.

"the tender hand of the unseen"
 

I don't think anyone could have said it any better than the lady above (?) forgot to get her tag.

"And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief."

You (and I and all of us that are here, now) are still students and if we try and run the classroom
how can we possibly learn? Just take it as it is and try and work on one small "step" at a time.
It is so easy to become overwhelmed. Enjoy the learning! peace and love, Teresa
 

It comes

it goes

there is nothing to hold onto under the sun

in the vast open sky

let it be me let it be you

it is we

i put my hand into the clouds all day long and still i am empty handed


~ thankyou for your kindness

lovin you, bro
 

And I can't resist reflecting on these beautiful words either:

Let it be,

and again,

The hand
 

There are many of us who have gone through/are going through this soul-searching,this mind fucking,trying to force the world to become a better place,trying to understand,desiring to share and change things,but the truth is too simple for our beloved minds.RELAX AND LET GO ! Flow with the river,not against it,and there is a magic,the river changes course ! and takes you home.

If you need more inspiration,and we all do,please,please read some of the stories among the comments on my blog from friends who have gone through and are still going through,and are sharing their stories of times of letting go.
 

ugh, the panic, don't you hate that???? Nothing has given me more trouble! haha... Just remember dear, with panic attacks, when you're not afraid of them anymore, they stop coming ;)
 

what kind of a day was it..

the ego attacking day?

i lived a similar one myself,

and achieved the similar answers,

as we are all one...

namasté my beloved brother wlsn

p.
 

Deep Mind does not lie, but since it speaks only in images, we never know completely what it says. If Desire is Illusion, then is the desire to transcend itself illusion?
 

Thanks for sharing. I am gettting the impression that you are trying.
I too have my ideas about what I want for my life - and sometimes feel frustrated if what I want isn't manifesting as quickly as I would like...
It is funny.
Today it hit me. I can make plans. I can have ideas. But maybe, maybe - I should shut up and listen to the universe. Because no doubt, it has something in mind - and no doubt what it has in mind is perfect.
An empty bamboo. Stop trying. Start being. All of us. This is what I am told.

"Allow the river to take you wherever it is going - because every river ultimately reaches to the ocean. So don't be worried, you will reach the ocean." The Pathless Path - Osho.

With love and peace.