Ladies and gentleman of the court, I am about to provide stunning facts about something we all need to know. For a long, long time Sara Jessica Parker has confused many people. Is she hot? Well not really, but somehow TV shows such as Sex in the City try to manipulate us into thinking that she is some kind of sex goddess. Well, I'm not buying this. I will present to you hard facts today. Facts that will shock you. In the end, I have a couple of goals. First, I want to exploit the truth about her. Second, I want all men to realize why she isn't that attractive...
Everyone reading this, sit down, and take a deep breath. The truth about Sara Jessica Parker is....
She used to be a man....
Yes, that is correct... Sara Jessica Parker USED TO BE A MAN!!!
"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?!?!?!" All of you ask. Well I have hard evidence, and a lot of time tonight. So I will exploit it all. This amazing discovery actually occurred several months ago. One hung-over morning I decided to watch TV. As many of you know, I like crappy movies. When I saw that the 80's classic 'Real Genius' was on, I had to watch it. If you have never heard of this movie, here is the trailer...
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Anyway, while watching this movie Stan and I realized that one of the characters looked like Sara Jessica Parker. BUT to our amazement, it wasn't a women...no...no...no...it was...A MAN!!! Or actually boy, buy you get the point... Mitch Taylor is a teenage genius in this movie. To get a good close up look of "Mitch", I have provided another video. On this video, let it start, then pause and move the video to the beginning. There you will see the young "boy" that has now become Sara Jessica Parker.
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Now compare that to this video from Sex in the City. Sorry guys, you will have to watch a clip of some crappy part of the show. I tried to get one scene that looked like it had some sex in it, but "This content contains adult content...blah blah blah" and I would have to sign up for Youtube. I don't feel like doing that so, once again....sorry...
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As you can see for yourself they look EXACTLY ALIKE!!!! It is freaky isn't it? It is...admit it...its ok...you can admit it...come on now...admit it...come on...COME ON.... yeah...thats it...take it in...take in the truth...
Now that all of you have calmed down about knowing the truth, I want to say that I had another goal. I must come clean on this goal. The final goal was to make it so that every time a girl watches Sex in the City, they will think about this, and they will think about Sara Jessica Parker as a little boy. And in the end, maybe, MAYBE, it will ruin the experience of watching that show for the women. "Why would I want to do this???", all the women yell... Basically to help the guys so that you women won't ever, EVER want to watch that horrid show again...
If I can get one women to be ruined about watching that show, the half hour or so that I wasted on this is COMPLETELY worth it.
Thank you all for wasting time along with me...
And just remember, the meaning of life is...BOOBIES!!!!!