Having confidence is 1/2 of the battle, when it comes to The Art of Approaching Women....
unfortunately, lack thereof is the problem for most men.
Let's take Esther Baxter [pictured below], for example....


The typical guy would be too scared or intimidated to approach a woman who looks like her....
& most of the guys that'd even bother to speak dunno how to do so with any kinda respect.
To make matters worse, most straight men have a shitload of female friends who preach that
beautiful women are "UNATTAINABLE & stuck-up" [that they DON'T go for regular guys].

But, I've learned that you CAN'T be afraid to approach the Esther Baxters of the world!!!!
Very often, you'll be surprised @ the fruit of your hard labor.

Back in the day, I was very shy about approaching beautiful women....
my fear of rejection prevented me from taking alotta risks [as is the case with most people].
Luckily, a group of my female friends [in college] believed in me MORE than I believed in myself.
They sat me down & said, "Emery, you're too cute for you to be such a shy guy.
DON'T be afraid to approach the kinda women that you REALLY want----you can have them!!!!
From now on, we're gonna teach you how to get ANY woman that you want.  You're our project".
And from that day forward, they taught me everything that I needed to know. 

I CAN'T guarantee that you'll walk away with an Esther Baxter-type just from reading this blog....
but, I promise EVERY man that there's something to be gained from what I'm about to tell you!!!
Today, I'm gonna deal with the DOs & DON'Ts.
Tomorrow, I'm gonna post my shaolin pickup techniques.

1.  WHAT DOESN'T COUNT
I've been a club promoter before....
so, I'm qualified to speak on what DOESN'T count in regards to "being able to pickup women".
Folks, there's a big difference between getting women b-cuz it's an added benefit to your job &
getting women WITHOUT taking advantage of your job [to accomplish the task]. 

Alotta club owners, promoters, deejays, bartenders, bouncers, porn studs, etc.
think that they're HOT SHIT just b-cuz they're able to get women as a result of their job....
but, a TRUE mack's able to get hot women away from work WITHOUT mentioning his job @ all.

Women will ALWAYS flock to men that can get them into somewhere for FREE....
but, the real question is: "Could you get this same girl, if ya WEREN'T in the entertainment biz"?!

2.  NEVER USE PICKUP LINES
If you've been reading my blogs for a while, then you already know how I feel about pickup lines.
And if ya DON'T, then just click here & read 13 Awful Pickup Lines

3.  RESEARCH & DEVELOPMENT
I'm a numbers geek, so this might be extreme for most people [who wouldn't waste the time]....
when I was a sophomore in college, I was curious to know what my SUCCESS RATE would be
if I were to approach EVERY woman that I might be even remotely interested in.
So, I grabbed a notebook & started keeping score for several months as follows:

HIT = You gotta phone number & it ended up being REAL
STRIKEOUT = You got dissed
WALK = She said, "I have a boyfriend", but, you'll NEVER know whether she was lying or not
(these don't count against your success rate)

This exercise will determine what works & what doesn't, as well as who you tend to HIT with.
The object ISN'T to use the same method to pickup EVERY woman [that'd defeat the purpose]
& you've also gottabe willing to take risks by hitting on women that ya THINK would reject you.
Scrap the things that DON'T work & file what DOES work under remember.

Over the 1st few weeks, your success rate will likely be ridiculously LOW 
[I remember that mine was 77% , which was alot higher than I would've ever expected]....
but, as you progress, your success rate SHOULD improve as you go [I finished @ an 82% clip].

4. DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER
1st, I'd like to thank my buddy Tracye for being nice enough to serve as a model for this rule.

In the 1st picture (below), Tracye's dressed very business-like....
but, one might make the mistake of assuming that she's ultra conservative, got no rhythm,
hates hip hop music, only dates preppies who say "DUDE" every other word, or even prejudiced.
Brothas that only like White girls probably WOULDN'T approach her in a bar @ Happy Hour.
But, in actuality, Tracye is NONE OF THE ABOVE!!!! 


Now, in this photo, Tracye's outfit gives the impression that she's alot more outgoing & cool.
It's the same girl, but you got 2 completely different vibes from her.  Y'all get the point.


5.  KNOW THE EFFECT OF YOUR OWN APPEARANCE
You'd be amazed @ how you'll attract different kinds of women, based on how you look
[& I'm NOT talking about whether you're cute, handsome, or ugly either].

For years, I would walk around trying to look my best 24/7 by being dressed up & clean shaven.
Even though I'd get compliments from co-workers & women that I knew personally....
whenever I'd walk on the street, I'd only catch those quick glances from women
[you know how it is when somebody's checking you out, but they're hoping that you don't see it].

Well, one day outta the blue, I got lazy, allowed my beard to grow out, & walked around with it....
guess what happened, then????

All of the sudden, those casual glances turned into stares & smiles whenever I walked by!!!!
Then, one night, I was in Georgetown dressed like a straight-up bum [again, I was unshaven].
I was talking to my roommate with my back turned to the street,
when some guy tapped me on the back & said, "Hey buddy, I think those girls that're in the car
over there are yelling FOR YOU"!!!!  When I turned around, those chicks started waving @ me &
telling me where they were going [one even yelled out her phone number].  I was sorta like
And I'd be lying if I told you that those chicks WEREN'T cute.

So, the next day, I asked a co-worker, "Why is it that when I'm unshaven & look like a bum....
women give me ahelluvalot more attention than they do when I'm dapper & looking my best.
And I'm NOT talking about ugly women----these are women that are actually good-looking".

My co-worker said, "It's b-cuz alotta women have a fascination with men that look ROUGH.
They like the whole bad boy, I don't give a fuck kinda image.  That's why".

I dunno how to explain it, guys....   all that I can say is NEVER UNDERESTIMATE YOURSELF.
Even on the days that you think ya look like shit, there's gonnabe women that're attracted.
So, experiment with different looks [you never know who's gonna like it].

6. DITCH THE SAUSAGE PARTY
Men are exactly like women, when it comes to their desire to hangout in packs [like wolves].
But, what alotta guys DON'T realize is that doing this hinders their ability to get women.
Quality women AREN'T gonna talk to a guy when he's got all of his buddies hanging around him.

Many of my friends have asked me, "Don't you feel weird going to clubs & bars, by yourself"????
Ummm....  NO, I NEVER felt weird doing this!!!!  I'm a big boy & can take care of myself.

When I'm by myself, I don't have to worry about my friends fucking up my chances with a girl
by saying something stupid or assholish....   I don't have to worry about cockblocking either.
I also don't have to worry about playing rock, paper, scissors just to see who's gonna go after
the woman that we ALL saw [b-cuz we can't determine which one of us spotted her 1st].

7. RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
A major rule that my female friends taught me,
was the importance of ONLY hitting on women when THEY'RE ALONE....
basically, my friends told me that a man's asking for the KISS OF DEATH
whenever he decides to approach a woman when she's with her friends.
Some women will be mean & diss you [on purpose] just to punish you for interrupting them
[or to give her friends a laugh].  Other times, the friend that you ignored will cockblock you.

Even though I've since mastered the art of hitting on a woman when she's with her buddies....
the RULES of ENGAGEMENT should ALWAYS be exercised by 99% of men
[b-cuz it will dramatically increase your chances of success].

8. THE MYTH ABOUT BEAUTIFUL WOMEN 
In my lifetime, one of the most surprising things that I've learned about women is:
"The prettier she is....   the MORE LIKELY it is that you'll walk away with her phone number".

I DON'T believe in the Nip Tuck belief that beauty is a curse on the world....
but, I DO believe that beautiful people are often cursed for how they look.

We've all seen attractive women on talk shows talking about how they CAN'T get any dates....
well, that's b-cuz MOST men assume that she's already taken or wouldn't be interested in him.

But, if you ever get the courage to start going after EVERY pretty woman that you see....
it WON'T take long for you to discover that many of them will be relieved that SOMEBODY
even approached them @ all.  They get heckled constantly & rarely get approached with respect.

Sure, there are alotta sexy women that're stuck-up....
but, for the most part, they're nice & have good personalities b-cuz they've gotta battle so many
stigmas perpetuated by OTHER women that're just hating b-cuz they DON'T look a certain way.
So, the next time that ya see a ridiculously hot woman, DON'T be afraid----just make your move.

9. THE RIGHT KINDA COMPLIMENT
Damn near every guy runs around saying the exact same thing to women....
"You're so pretty", "I love your smile", "You've got nice eyes", blah, blah, blah.
Then, they have the nerve to be surprised when they DON'T walk away with a phone number.

Personally, I take pride in the fact that I've NEVER said these things to women....
I go outta my way to notice the subtle things.

Instead of dishing out the same ole compliments....
try saying sumthin' about her outfit [b-cuz women put alotta thought into their style of dress] &
please DON'T tell her sumthin' like, "That tube top makes your tits look fabulous".
And if you've GOTTA say something about how she looks....
then, it'd help to make her feel like you've NEVER said those things to anybody else!!!!

10. CUT THE BULLSHIT
Alotta men seem to believe that the key to getting women is saying stuff like....
"I'm a nice guy", "I'd treat you better than anybody else", "I'll pamper you & buy you things",
"I'd give you the best sex that you've EVER had", "Wanna drive my BMW", etc.

But, fellas, a REAL woman ISN'T gonna give a fuck about what you SAY that you can do for her
[b-cuz she's heard it all before from the 1000s of men that came before you & didn't deliver].
So, please DON'T think that your bullshit is gonna get you anywhere.

11. CHARISMA GOES A LONG WAY
Looks will only take you so far with a woman.
If you're cute, but BORING when she's talking to you....   then, you won't get very far.

DON'T be so quick to talk about yourself, your job, house, education, etc.
If anything, you should LET HER ask those questions before providing that information.

When it comes to women, you'll NEVER fail when you're genuinely interested IN HER
[instead of talking about yourself].  Don't just play the role, like you're paying attention....
listen to EVERYTHING that she says [like she's gonna give you a test on it afterwards].

DON'T ask the same ole questions either....
for example, you know how the typical college guy starts with "What's your name" &
then follows it up with "So, what's your major" [or some schpeel about it being a great party]???
Fuck that shit!!!!  Figure outta way to talk about sumthin' different, for a change &
do your best to avoid any kinda political discussion.

12. KEEP THE BALL IN YOUR COURT
Alotta women will probably read this part, react like , & disagree with me.
But, that ISN'T gonna change the fact that I firmly believe what I'm about to say.

Ya know how some women say, "I'm sorry, I don't give out my number.  But, I'll take yours"....
well, I say FUCK THAT SHIT!!!!  My personal rule is that you get her number OR you exchange.
DON'T EVER trust that a woman's gonna take your number, not give you hers, & then call you!!!
Fellas, you've gotta remember that YOU approached HER [not the other way around].
Sure, there are stalkers out here....    but, those other assholes ain't got nuthin' to do WITH YOU!

You've gottabe the asshole that says, "Look, I'm NOT pressed.  I DON'T just give out my digits.
Either you want me to call you, or you don't.  It's that simple"....
I've said this to women before & still ended up walking away with their phone number!!!!

I've only given out my number TWICE without getting hers....
the 1st time, I missed the girl's call, she left a message, & NEVER called back after that.
The 2nd time, this chick called me back 6 months later & got mad b-cuz I didn't even remember
who the fuck she was [we still ended up hanging out & being friends though].

13. FORGET ABOUT BEING FRIENDS
I DON'T understand it when guys meet a woman who says that she's gotta boyfriend &
they comeback with, "Well, are you allowed to have friends"???? 
You DUMB muthafucka!!!!

These idiots REALLY believe that they're setting themselves up to be NEXT IN LINE....
when, in actuality, they're only setting themselves up to be her shoulder to cry on about HIM!!!!
Most guys are doomed once they get the friendship label, so it's best NOT to be friends @ all.

Unless she tells you that she's gonna fuck your brains out & then kick her boyfriend to the curb....
it's NEVER a good idea to pursue a friendship with a woman that's already in a relationship.