well said carly!

i think this whole idea of "stealing" isn't just an issue that some black women may have...from my experience it's also true of some white men who feel these pangs of jealousy when black men "steal" white women.

a good relationship is def hard to come by these days...the color of your skin is the LEAST important thing when building a good, solid relationship.

 

Carly says, "Thanks".  Alrighty, this is gonnabe ME talking now....

I wanna touch on what you said about the "white men who feel these pangs of jealousy when black men steal white women".

In my lifetime, I've known alotta white women that dated black men.  Whenever I asked them what drove them to do it, their reasons usually centered around feelings of rejection [like that girl in The Real World who was dating that brotha from The Pharcyde].

They'd tell me that white men would reject them for reasons like "white men always say that my butt's too big", "white men say that I'm fat, even though I only weigh 125 pounds", "white men that I meet are always turned off by the fact that I have black friends", or "white men don't wanna date me because of my choices in music [rap or R&B]".

I went to high school with this gorgeous, Italian girl named Gina [almost everybody in our school used to sweat her @ one point or another].  When I went to college, Gina came to visit me @ my dorm once & I'll never forget what the white guys on my hall were saying about her, when she left.

ALL of the white guys [except one] were telling me, "Your friend Gina's a pig.  She's FAT"!!!!  And I looked @ them like   Fat definitely WASN'T a word that I would've EVER used to describe Gina [if anything, I woulda said that she needed to eat sumthin'].

Only 3 guys on my hall were telling me that Gina was HOT....   this white cat named Chad [who dated Black women too], this brotha named Alvin, & this Asian guy named Rey. 

I was sorta puzzled by the whole thing, until all of those other white guys girlfriends came to visit.  That's when I realized that they labeled ANY woman over 105 pounds as FAT.  That's NOT cool.

The Infamous Joe Styx & I frequently talk about the WEIRDNESS of the typical White guy's taste in women....   they'll pass up a chick who looks like Carmen Electra, in order to go after someone who looks like Kate Moss.  And when the Carmen-look-alike decides to date a Black man, suddenly they wanna say that she's been stolen.

If you were to throw your cat onto the street because you DON'T want her, then how are you gonna comeback calling the police when your neighbor decides to give her shelter??? 
 

my experience has been that black men approach me way more often than white men. I'm not really sure why...but that is the case.

not that i would discriminate...i've dated white guys, asian guys, black guys, persian guys, etc.

being that i've dated a lot of black guys in the past few years...i've been automatically labeled by white dudes as "one of those girls" that supposedly only dates black guys...which isn't true. so if white dudes aren't approaching me at all...am i supposed to just sit around and pass up the chance to date someone really cool that may happen to be of a different race?...uh...yeah right.

another thing. my best friend (who is japanese) and i have found that a lot of white guys are turned off by the fact that we have "been with" black men.  suddenly we are automatically "tainted" to them...

it's so stupid.

 

I dunno why that is, but if that's what's happening....   then, I don't blame you.

I think that you're catching alotta shit from these men because they're INSECURE about the sexual stigma that's been associated with Black men [it's kinda like how I hear sistas saying, "If you wanna White girl, then go ahead & get one....   all that I know is that I'm NOT gonna go down on you & do all of that nasty stuff they're doing"].

The White guys that DON'T wanna deal with women who've been with a Black man, are usually caught-up in some ridiculous worry about NOT being able to please you in bed.  The ole "Oh my goodness, I CAN'T be with that woman.  She likes big johnsons & I could NEVER please her" shallow bullshit mentality.

They're too stupid to see that your decision probably had NOTHING to do with hedonistic desires @ all.

With me, it's sorta funny how Black women assume that I'm the kinda guy that either ONLY dates White girls OR the kinda brotha whose girlfriend is White [just because I'm articulate]....   but, to this day, I can honestly say that I've gone on MORE dates with Black women [than any other race] & that I've probably approached MORE Black women [than any other race].  So, it's NOT like I don't have love for em' too.

When I was in high school [during my freshman & sophomore year], the sistas that I liked WEREN'T interested in me @ all because I wasn't on the football team, wasn't thuggish, wasn't light-skinned [that was back in the days when light-sinned brothas were getting MORE play than dark-skinned brothas or guys like me that're caramel].  I also had curly hair & I was in honors classes, so that worked AGAINST me.

The ONLY girls that were giving me any kinda attention back then were the White girls [& the funny thing was that these girls were cheerleaders, POPULAR,  & usually UPPERclassmen].

Rather than sit @ home alone, I just said, "Fuck it, I'm gonna expand my horizons" & started dating whoever was interested in me REGARDLESS of their skin tone.

But, Carly's right....   "Misery Loves Company" & those kinda people expect you to be lonely just like they are, instead of doing what you've gotta do to find affection.  They wanna OVERLOOK you one minute & call you a SELLOUT the next.

 

exactly.

haha!

and i think we both know that those stereotypes you mentioned aren't always true. not all black dudes have ginormous dicks...and not all white girls like to give head.

people are just ignorant and afraid to experience things for themselves and they believe the stereotypes...weak minds. haha!

 

I'm NOT gonna get into the stereotypes, because it'd open a FUNNY can of worms [LOL - if ya only knew].

But, hey, even I succumb to the stereotype bug @ times....   the only difference is that I  DON'T run around acting like everybody fits the mold.

For example, I'll admit that when I see a Black woman with a White guy, my 1st reaction is a humorous, "Uh oh....   that sista either gets hella NASTY in bed, or that White guy's just happy to have himself some coffee even if it's a terrible cup".

Now, I'm NOT saying that sex [or her skin tone] is the reason why they're together....   but, if you look @ the humor in my statement, then there's some truth to what I've said [because you're either good in bed or you're NOT, plain & simple].

Still, I'm just happy that the 2 of them were able to find love regardless & hope that they're NOT together for superficial reasons.

But, if I walked around saying that EVERY White guy who's with a Black woman is only dating her because "the Blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice"....   then, THAT would be WRONG [because she might be the nicest sista in The World & still have some ROTTEN juice when it comes to the bedroom].

You couldn't pay me enough to believe that a woman gets better in the bedroom as her skin gets DARKER [that would be some BS]....   cuz the darkest woman in The World might be downright awful in bed.

My cousin's married to a White guy & he's MAD COOL.  But, I really DIDN'T like how some people @ my grandfather's funeral were treating him.  They were looking @ me like, "Why are you talking to the ENEMY"????  

And I was thinking, "If anything, you're the ENEMY, because he's family.  You're just a guest who came to pay respects to my grandpa & you can't even do it without acting like a dummy".
 

"Rotten Juice"

hahah!

i think people who do date outside of their race for superficial reasons will never have a successful interracial relationship...cause good sex is def not going to keep u together through the tough times! hah!

 

LOL - juice that's wayyyy past the SELL BY DATE

True, a long-lasting relationship requires a solid foundation [& it'll NEVER last, if you've built your hopes on a stereotype----even if the stereotype is TRUE for the person that you're with].

On more than one occasion, I've heard brothas say, "I've gotta get me a White girl, because I hear that they know how to treat a man, don't give you attitude, & will do crazy things to you in bed".

1st of all, ANY woman's gonna give you attitude [especially around that time of the month].  So, it's STUPID to think that things are gonnabe rosey 24/7.  Hell, if you get her pregnant, then she's gonna give you attitude too [most women become bossy].

Treating a man well has NOTHING to do with the crazy things that she'd do for you, in bed or keeping her mouth shut....   & I'm thinking, "Damn, what kinda White girls are these brothas talking about"????

People might look @ Kobe & assume that Vanessa's a pushover....   but, in the days following his admission of infidelity, his eyes looked awfully SWOLLEN [& I DON'T mean from crying either].  I coulda sworn that I saw a pic of him, where it looked like somebody had punched him dead under the left eye [cuz he had a blood blister there, like it came from a someone who hit him with a ring on their hand].  I looked @ Carly & said, "Damn, Kobe looks like he got a serious ass whooping & it doesn't look like it came from the Denver police either".

He DIDN'T just buy her that $6M ring, to make it up to her....   Vanessa probably beat his ass so badly that he HAD to give her sumthin'.  She's obviously a prizefighter.



 

Thank you so much Carly

I understand more now where it came from and had she even tried to explain a little bit of that I would have not been so shocked by her statement. I would have maybe handled it different when she threw that out there while talking with me. I did try to offer an explanation because there being less African American women then the men here that not even the men are making a choice to go with white, it is there only choice unless they want to not date the whole time they are living here. I also think that you cant steal what is not put out there as available. I can still picture my friends all dressed up as ninjas sneaking into the base and stealing some men.

Now at least it makes more sense to me as to where she was coming from with her statement. Now that we are both sober maybe she would be willing to talk and who knows maybe even become friends. Nothing like a good fight to bring people together(lol)

Again thank you so much for taking the time to help me understand that issue!!!! 

 

Take it from me, you don't wannabe friends with that sista....
if y'all met a Black man in a bar & he gravitated towards YOU [instead of her], then you'd have another problem on your hands.  There'd be another war.

I'm still trying to figure out the whole idea that Black men are being STOLEN too.  My 1st thought was similar to yours....  "You CAN'T steal sumthin' that's WILLING to be taken".
 

I have to say that I'm glad to hear a black woman say what you said Carly.  I mean, race is such a "touchy" subject to a lot of people (not me, talk about whities all you want, lol).  Personally, I LOVE   seeing white guys with black women, indians with asian, whatever!!  Date whoever you want to date, as what's already been said, it's hard enough to find a decent, caring person out there.....why should race matter so much?  But that is easy for me to say since I don't care about that at all.  Obviously so, look at my 2 beautiful girls

I do want to say why I think I date mostly black men or biracial men.  I've always been this way, as long as I can remember. My very first crush (when I was about 4 or 5) was on this boy name Leonard, who was black, american indian and something else but I can't remember (nothing white).  Anyways, for the longest time I never understood fully why I was so attracted to "other" races. I finally figured it out on my own and it's for a couple of reasons.  I think.....no, I know that the main reason is because I was....let's just say...."hurt" by white men, at a very young age (no not raped)....okay molested. A total of 3, at different years in my life. So, there's no trust when it comes to white guys on that intimate level, I guess.  Though, I have slept with a couple of white guys but it was on MY terms.  Also, I think I've always been INTRIGUED by ethnic backgrounds.  I love men from CARAMEL TO DARK CHOCOLATE.  I find it down right BEAUTIFUL....especially against my pasty, white skin  (unless I have a tan).  Anyways, I know what the main reason is and even if it weren't for that....I think I would still prefer other races because it is intriguing.  All the different cultures, the languages, just EVERYTHING. Anything different, unique.  My man now is Black, White & American Indian and I just LOVE IT! 

Ultimately, there could be many reasons why someone dates OUTSIDE of THEIR race.  Just as much there could be many reasons why someone DOESN'T date OUTSIDE of THEIR race.  If people could just take a few moments to sit back and listen to another's story OR (the flip side here ) if someone could just take a few moments and TAKE A STEP BACK without going off about it.  Who knows why a black man dates a white woman and vice versa.  No one knows what's behind it and MAJORITY of the time there is nothing behind it.  It JUST HAPPENED THAT WAY!!!!!  But that's just me and how I feel about it.  I mean, there are so many other things in the world that are wrong and so many other things in this world to worry about than who is dating what race. If only everyone could see past the color of one's skin...then I guess the world would be closer to a more PERFECT PLACE! 

PEACE AND LOVE 

Again, thanks CARLY & EM! I mean, HOWARD STERN of MYSPACE

 

Rachel, shouldn't you be saying LOVE, PEACE, & SOUL????  Your nickname isn't Korn anymore, you're now White Chocolate.    You know I'm saying that with CREW LOVE too.
 

thanks for your guest blogger carly, she sounds like a great woman

i've mentioned before to you how i used to get slack about datin black guys too. but now i just know that those black women are just sad and jealous that they DON'T gotta man and i do, just like any other lonely woman would be. i'm glad to know that it isn't a universal thing among black women to just hate white women. also, movies don't help that much either, i don't remember the movie (waiting to exhale?) where a white woman "stole" her black husband, and suddenly, all the black women in the movie were set on gettin back at all the white women out there JUST because of that one instance.

i think that the whole "tainted" thing extends to mexican guys too, i dunno, in my area, there has always been this hatred between mexican and black men. so now, if i meet a mexican man, i NEVER mention to him that i'm attracted to black men too (especially that one of my regulars is verrrry dark chocolate). i've done that before, and was never looked at the same way again.

i also gotta agree with your whole statement about white men. MOST of them DO NOT want women who are over 105 lbs, which is why i most definitely LOVE  the men who like some meat on their women, more cushion for the pushin baby. as rosie o'donnell (not the best example, lol) once said a mexican man told her about their preference for larger women: "leave the bones for the dogs, save the meat for the MEN"

 

Though I DON'T believe that White men have an INNATE disliking for women over 105 pounds....
my best friend & I CANNOT deny what we've seen 1sthand [or how sad it is].

The MEDIA & modeling industry is REALLY to blame for the PERCEPTION that these men have of women.

All that they see are pencil-thin women in magazines, on TV, or the silver screen....   leaving everybody else that's NOT @ least 5'10" & less than 105 pounds OUT IN THE COLD.

These men ONLY wannabe with a woman that's rail thin, but you'll still find them in the strip clubs throwing their money @ women that're built like BRICK HOUSES [& would NEVER make it in the modeling industry, because of their curves or lack of height].

It's sad because Hollywood destroys women, to keep the mentality going.  Jessica Simpson was so much MORE voluptuous when she WASN'T popular [than she is now] & just look @ the transformation of somebody like Lindsey Lohan [she gets skinnier by the day].  Hell, they wouldn't even give Jennifer Connely a major role until she gotta breast reduction.

When The World casts women aside in this manner, then you can't complain about whoever decides to scoop them up [just because they're of a different race].

Now, in regards to the Black woman's views on White women....   I always thought that it was peculiar how so many sistas were BEHIND O.J. Simpson AFTER the murder of Nicole.  They hated him before she died, but the moment that someone sliced her throat....   here come the sistas acting like, "We love you, O.J. because @ least it was a White bitch that got killed".

I truly believe that if his wife had been Black, then sistas NEVER would've supported O.J. [but, @ the same time, I didn't complain about it because White people have been acquitted for murdering Blacks throughout history].  They can act like they WEREN'T behind him until Johnny Cochran couldn't fit his hand in the glove....   but, they ALL know damn well that they were supporting O.J. from Day One of his trial [when they'd made him an outcast during the years beforehand].

As for the Latino-Black thing....   again, I've gottabe honest with you.  I've NOTICED it because I've received some hatred for dating Latinas as well.  I used to work @ a restaurant & everything was GRAVY between everybody there----until the day that I brought a date into the place who was a Latina.  The next day, my boss fired me & said that it was because the cooks [who were Latino] had told him that I was stealing beers & refusing to work [when THEY were the ones stealing the beers, because I caught them doing it....   they'd hide out in the shed & drink them on-the-job].

Just look @ how everybody treated J-Lo....   for years, she was on the cover of Latino magazines.  But, when she started dating Puffy, you DIDN'T see her on the cover of Latino magazines the entire time that they were together.  And when she dumped him & started going out with Ben Affleck, suddenly J-Lo's ass starts appearing on the covers again.  THAT WAS CRUDDY!!!!  But, nobody said anything about it [I noticed it though].

It's also the same reason why the Latino community NEVER gives EVA MENDES credit [because she played Denzel's wife in Training Day & kissed Will Smith].

And NOW, you see it happening with EVA LONGORIA....  her face was all over the place, until the day that she started dating TONY PARKER.  Now, she's gone.  It's almost like Mexico DOESN'T even wanna claim her anymore [even though her bio clearly states that she's of Mexican descent].

NOT all Latinos act like this....   but, just like with Blacks, alotta them do.

 

i know, i don't know why white men have this fascination with skinny ass white women. i mean, how the hell do you fuck somethin so bony? that is just gross to me, i'm so glad that i'm so much more comfortable with myself than i used to be, cuz i've realized that there are truly men out there who LOVE the curves that bigger women have, and how we are in the sack

and ya, the whole OJ thing was ridiculous, what a joke

that's sad that the whole black/mexican thing isn't just limited to san diego, that it's country if not worldwide, that's just fucked up

 

hey emery,

me and my friend were wondering, cuz we've seen this alot.....

what is it with black guys and fat white women????  it seems like 9 times out of 10 in san diego (especially the poor parts), if you see a black man with a white woman, she is the size of a whale......, and even in the club its the same thing.  or maybe its that with every fat white woman, you usually only see them with a black guy.  is it that fat white chicks are usually easy and black guys seem to have a stronger libido than other races?  we don't get it.......

love,

tammie and diandra

 

  OUCH, what do I say in response to this one????

In many cases, PREFERENCE is the deciding factor [some guys just like BIG women].
My cousin's one of these men who LIKES dating big women.
When I asked him why....  his reasons centered around LUBRICATION [if ya know what I mean]

However, in other cases, CONTROL is the reason.
Though I've known a few big women that DIDN'T have self-esteem issues &
were completely comfortable with their size....
the fact still remains that alotta BIG women are very insecure about their bodies nonetheless
[just as there are many gorgeous women in The World that're insecure about their physical beauty].

There are numerous men [regardless of color] who prey on a woman's insecurity
[especially when this LOW self-esteem centers around the size & shape of her body].

The BIG women who feel like they can steal a smaller woman's man are GREATLY outnumbered
by those who DON'T believe that they'll ever find somebody that truly loves them....
so, alotta men choose to FEAST on the latter [for reasons usually centered around CONTROL].

Take Anna Nicole Smith, for example.  Though she's ALWAYS been plus-size,
we've still watched her go through 3 phases since she was a centerfold....
Playboy Anna, Shallow Hal Anna, & Trim Spa Anna.

But, the brothas that WE'RE talking about ONLY woulda tried to get with Anna in her Shallow Hal phase. 
They would've avoided her otherwise, because they believe large women:
1.  are MORE faithful, while every other woman's gonnabe out cheating
2.  will do whatever he desires sexually outta the fear of losing him
3.  WON'T ever complain or leave him, even if he cheats on her 100x

If anything, I'd say that these kinda men have LOWER self-esteem than the women they're preying upon.
They DON'T wannabe with any woman who's likely to get alotta attention from other men.

In each case, you'd have to meet the woman & talk with her in order to decipher why he's with her.
If she's the kinda woman that's secure in herself regardless of her size, then the love might be genuine.

But, if she's the kinda woman that's ashamed of the way that she looks....
then, the reason very likely could be centered around CONTROL [there will be SOME exceptions though, because there are some genuine nice guys in The World that DON'T care about her size @ all].
 

oh yeah, and i'm also just physically attracted to black guys too. i think it is because white guys won't give me the time of day (usually) cuz they see me and don't wanna get to know my good-ass personality and tricks in the bedroom cuz i may have more curves than the other white women out there. and so since black guys always seem to be lookin my way, i've just become accustomed to datin black guys. same thing with mexican guys, they love bigger women, so i'm just now accustomed to bein attracted to mexican guys as well. i swear, i used to like white guys alot in high school, and now, i don't even give them a second glace
 

It's sorta like the opposite among Black culture....   the curvy women get ALL of the attention, while the skinny girls are usually overlooked. 

My cousin [who likes big girls] is so damn funny....   the last time that Joe Styx & I were hanging out with him, he gave us a course in WHAT MAKES A GOOD GHETTO BOOTY.  He was pulling pictures off the internet & saying stuff like, "See those stretch marks on her ass, dawg???  That means that she's got GOOD GRAVITY.  Her cheeks got dat drop"!!!!  He had me & Joe crying, on that.

Personally, I RARELY make a big deal about the Black women that Hollywood places on a pedestal because these women NEVER fit my standards.  Halle Berry's gotta cute face, but her body type ISN'T necessarily what I go for [you've gotta figure, since I love Esther Baxter & Tyra Banks].  Naomi Campbell's also NOT the kinda sista that I'd go for either [to be quite honest, she'd be someone that I wouldn't even look @ if she were an unknown sista walking around in public].

And this is probably why curvaceous White women [like Carmen Electra] or full-figured women [like Anna Nicole Smith & larger] get so much attention from Black men, while being overlooked by White guys.

For Black men, the BRICK HOUSE video girl types are highly sought after....   & for White men, the RAIL THIN runway model types are what the media sells as their standard of beauty [hence, why everyone else tends to get overlooked].

 

hahahaha, i LOVE what your cousin said, that's fuckin awesome!

 

ya, i agree with you, bein a plus-size woman (damn, that was harsh for tammie to just say FAT but whatever) myself and havin dated a black guy. i've always had severe self-esteem issues, and my ex totally did the 3 things you said. i was completely 100% faithful to him, just cuz he lived wit me tho. i did do whatever he wanted sexually cuz i knew that i might lose him otherwise, and i wouldn't have left him if it hadn't been for my friends, cuz he did cheat on me all the time but he had such mental and emotional control over me, i was like brainwashed for a period. i had always been a completely strong independent intelligent woman my whole life, then here comes along a black man who says all the right shit and does all the right shit, and i totally changed for him. i became a weak individual who had to ask him what to do all the time, and when i wasn't with him, i felt that i couldn't do shit by myself, cuz he was always with me. so i spent like 24/7 with him, almost losin my job so that i could stay home wit his ass for a couple days.

but tammie is right, ALL the white girls that i see with black guys in sd are big like me, i have yet to see a skinny ass pb girl with a black dude, cuz she's at the bar gettin drunk with the stupid ass white guys who LIKE the skinny white girls. and ya, i do know what you mean, and the lube thing is TRUE

 

I was talking to another girl in my FRIENDS LIST about the guys in California.

She was telling me how difficult it was to find a GOOD GUY that was SERIOUS about being in a committed relationship, because MOST of the girls are plastic carbon copies of each other [she called them "Barbie Dolls"].

When I watch The Howard Stern Show....   you know how he likes to ask all of the White girls on his show, "Do you date Black guys"????  Carly would vouch that I have a knack for picking out which ladies DO & which girls DON'T.  I dunno how I'm able to do it.

But, where I grew up [suburban Maryland], you'll see HOT White girls with Black guys....   HOT Black women with White guys....   & you can mix n' match the other races in it too.

You've gotta few folks that DON'T date interracially....   but, even the RICH White girls [in Potomac] date Black guys too.  The dynamic just ISN'T the same as you or Tammie described in California.

Where I come from, if you meet a girl who DOESN'T date interracially....   it's either because she's from ANOTHER state [like an intern who's there for a summer job] or from upper Montgomery County. 

Now, if you're in D.C., then you'll RARELY find anybody dating interracially unless you're in the business district or Georgetown [you aren't gonna find a White girl with a brotha in Southeast, D.C. or uptown].
 

i agree, a lot of the "barbie dolls" here all look and act exactly the same, with NO brains. sure, you can go to p.b. (that's pacific beach for those outta sd) any night of the week and find some hot ass blonde white women who'll give you some ass but just remember that you CAN'T have an intellectual conversation with most of them. they have trained the good guys to be players, cuz that's what they want outta men. i've met a lot of women who don't wanna serious relationships at all (like me) so they make the guys out there forget that there are still some women out there that DO want a monagamous relationship
 

i've always wanted to have a conversation of something like this, so ill go off on my own tangents. i am using skin colors and races here loosely, hopefully i do not offend people.

first off im from tempe, arizona. home to arizona state university, aka blonde, slim, and beautiful univeristy. im originally from phoenix, the capital of arizona and i have always been raised in a predominantly white enviroment. as a product of an interracial marriage, half mexican half white, i have never had to endure any ratial stereotypes except at the hands of friends, where i am only one not physically white skinned. so im telling you all this so you know where i am coming from. being raised in northern phoenix, the black population of my elementary, middle school, and high school was predominantly thin. i dont think i saw someone that was black until middle school. and then in high school there were a handful at most, one who was actually a good friend who lived just down the street and another who all through high school was always angry about something and always saying the coach hated him because he was black and how he couldnt get any respect. well after hearing this for a couple years it all became a running joke. so basically what im trying to get across is that had LITTLE experience with differences in people based on skin color because the black guys at my schools dressed like white guys, yes this is a stereotype. so i had no problem growing up with the girls around me dating my black friends. to me it was all the same. yeah the black guys were better at sports at my school so why wouldnt the girls, despite race, want to date them. i didnt get my first taste of racial profiling, my own i will admit, until my 2nd semester of high school when we went to a club in scottsdale, i think it's the nation's most predominantly white, most lacking of blacks cities in america, and i found the club's patrons to be predominantly black. now this actually scared me. im not going to lie. the blacks i had grown up with dressed liked me, had the same mannerisms as me, even sounded exactly like me, so seeing what i will call "thug" black guys in their "ghetto or club" clothing actually made me ride the wall at the club. so being young i was more aware of my surroundings, making sure not to make eye contact or to bump into them. so what was happening here to me was i was actually afraid of what i knew of the black community outside of what i assumed was that they hate me for being me. for being white. for what my ancestors (remember i have darker features so at first glance i look... well not white basically) had done to them. i kept on thinking that if i tripped up here, i probably wouldnt make it out. so since then i've always had this view of black guys, those that were raised in a white community and those that were raised in a black community. and to be honest i think it also had to do with how i think black man interact with women of any race. (MY OPINION) i personally think that a black man from a white community will respect the woman more for who she is, what her goals are, and she presents herself. basically he will look at the outside be attracted to that, find out whats on the inside and decide on relationship status from there. my opinion from the black man from the black community is totally different. i think he views his woman more as possessions. as accessories. so yes basically what i see on MTV, laugh it up but they play it off like that. this black man will see more of how woman are comfortable in their skin and how they flaunt their sexuality. basically the look for women that present themselves as gold. so this black man will treat his woman like they were the best thing sinced sliced bread. now if you'd like me to defend myselves, i have plenty of white and mexican stereotypes. i didnt grow up with any oriental descent people so i have no opinion in why they do what the do. also the one black friend who i was good friends with is attending texas tech on a fball scholarship and when i look at the pics he puts up, he is still predominantly hugging white women, but now he's hanging out with predominantly black guys. just adding that.

as for why white guys like skinny girls. to me it's the same as why women are attracted to six packs. now yes six packs dont exactly equate to a guy being skinny but they do mean he's in shape. and a skinny girl in my eyes is a girl who is in shape. why not be attracted to someone who's taken care of themselves. and yes a little cushion is nice but to the point where you go to move things in order to get to things scares me. oh i also give validity to the bigger girls are easier because of their low self esteem theory. it's just too common, and it's better than going home empty handed. it's hard to hear but it's true the world around.

 

1.  You CAN'T look @ MTV & think that it's REAL life....
fact: MTV distorts the image of Black men MORE than any channel that I've ever watched
[but, you'd sorta have to be in my shoes to TRULY understand what I mean, by that].

But, I'll give you a little example....   let's take their prized show THE REAL WORLD.  Outta every Black man that's ever been on the show, Tek Holmes is the ONLY one they've ever cast who DIDN'T fit the stereotype of an ANGRY BLACK MAN.

That ISN'T an accident....   MTV puts candidates for the show through an INTENSE screening process.  But, for some odd reason, [outta the pool of Black men] MTV constantly selects The One whose gotta trauma-induced emotional problem. [like Alton, who COULDN'T interact with people like a rational human being because his brother had been killed].

It just seems ironic to me that MTV does this kinda thing, but the other non-Black cast members usually DON'T have these kinda problems in their lives [instead, their issues normally center around being gay, sheltered, or a binge drinker].  So, MTV isn't an accurate representation of Black men whatsoever.

2.  If you live in Arizona, then I seriously doubt that you've gotta BONA FIDE Black community to which you can accurately draw your conclusions.

DON'T be fooled by the facade that you're seeing with your Black friends....
they've spent their whole lives COMPROMISING THEMSELVES & WHO THEY ARE in order to fit in & be accepted by the 1000s of people around them that DON'T look like themselves.

Not long ago, REX CHAPMAN [a White former NBA player] got on TV telling The World that the University Of Kentucky had told players [including himself] NOT to date Black women....
but, Rex DIDN'T have to even come outta the closet with it for me to know that this is how it is in athletics.

Black athletes tend to gravitate towards White women, because they wannabe accepted by the White men who sign their endorsement contracts, hand them their booster money, & pay their pro salaries.  It's NO SECRET among Black men that White women will be shoved in our faces by our coaches, teammates, & others [for the sake of SELLING AN IMAGE that White is preferred or having a White woman on your arm is a sign of success].

In high school, I used to play summer league baseball in Potomac, Maryland [one of the notoriously wealthy communities in America]....   & I had ahelluvalotta White groupies coming to the games and waiting for me after I was done playing.  I had NEVER even talked to these girls before, but they knew who I was & didn't mind telling me that they loved watching me. 

3.  Though I grew up in a predominantly White county, the 24 families in my townhouse complex were ALL BLACK until the day that Joe Styx moved in. 

Growing up around Black people had NO IMPACT on my desire to be faithful to my lady OR the amount of respect that I have for my lady.  The bottom line is....   you're either a GOOD person, or you're NOT [regardless of who's in your neighborhood].

I went to a high school that was 50% White & 50% Minority [Blacks, Asians, Latinos].  Hanging around White kids DIDN'T make me wanna respect women MORE or value them MORE.  The color of those around me DIDN'T affect my attitude one bit.

In fact, if you take ALL of the people that I know....   I'd say that the ones from the GHETTOs & ALL BLACK communities treat their women BETTER than the brothas that I know who grew up around White people.

Shoot, EVERY Black guy that I know whose beaten his girlfriend GREW UP AROUND WHITE PEOPLE & has the "she's just a piece of ass" mentality.  Wearing a shirt & tie DOESN'T make you a good boyfriend [and neither does going to a private school where you're the ONLY Black student].

Heck, guess what I learned from my players on that baseball team that I just told you about....   I was the ONLY Black guy on the team, but I learned MORE about how to disrespect women [from those rich, upper class White boys] than I've learned from anybody in my life.  Women were a game to them.

Here's another TIP on what it's like being a Black man in a Black community....
if people find out that you're beating or mistreating your woman, THEN YOU'RE SCREWED.  You WON'T have to worry about dating Black women anymore, because MOST sistas WON'T even wannabe bothered with you.

Sure, alotta Black women are attracted to thugs....   but, Black women AREN'T big fans of men that beat their friends.  In the Black community, a woman beater is risking his life [his lady's likely to KILL HIM, one of her friends might do it, or someone in her family's prone to put a bullet in his head].  If you're beating a Black woman, then you'd better make sure that you pick the RIGHT ONE. 

4.  As for the HEALTH issue....   being skinny DOESN'T mean that you're in shape.  Anorexia ISN'T being in good health & neither is throwing up your meal after wolfing it down or popping diet pills when you aren't overweight.  At least 1/2 of those skinny girls that you see HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEM health wise [because they're doing ridiculous things, because they THINK that it makes them more appealing to men].

 

AM I THE ONLY BLACK CHICK RESPONDING TO THIS? DAMN.....A LOT OF PEOPLE TEND TO SHY AWAY FROM THIS TOPIC.....BUT BEING THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT I WILL RESPOND TO IT....IT'S PARTLY INSECURITY AND THE ANGER THAT WE DO FEEL THAT AFTER ALL THE SHIT US BLACK WOMEN BEEN THROUGH WITH BLACK MEN...MAJORITY TREAT US LIKE SHIT....HAVE BABIES THEY FORGOT THEY HELPED TO PRODUCE AND GET FAMOUS AND ACT AS IF THERE ARE NO BLACK WOMEN IN HOLLYWOOD....YOU CAN DATE WHOMEVER YOU CHOOSE I JUST HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE ONE'S WHO DATE OUTSIDE OF THEIR RACE SOLELY BECAUSE THEY HAVE ISSUES WITH BLACK WOMEN. BUT THERE IS A TRUTH TO THE WHOLE FAT WHITE WOMEN THING.....YOU SEE IT A LOT...ESPECIALLY IN THE SOUTH. MOST BLACK MEN LIKE THICK CHICKS....BLACK, WHITE, RED OR GREEN.