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John Mayer



Dernière mise à jour : 9/02/2010

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Statut : Célibataire
Ville : NEW YORK
Région : New York
Pays: US
Date d’inscription :: 11/10/2005

Compliments de :


samedi, septembre 23, 2006 
An Excerpt from my upcoming novel, "The Pioneer", (Simon and Schuster) - Available in stores soon. (They say by Christmas...)

PAGE 34

'...Madeline and I were doomed to a nearly impractical relationship. We constantly worked competing hours, what with her job as a consultant for a highly regarded law firm in town, and my painting portraits of people in their sleep. Still, however, there was the smattering of fond memories I somehow could call upon at the end of every difficult year, when Madline's parents would visit from Rumshawken, New York. Rumshawken, I'm told, is not on a map. Apparently the founders had been beaten within an inch of their lives by a homophobic cartographer during a water shortage. "Just tell people it's near Rye", Madeline was taught since she was a child. ("We'll come to you!" is the town's motto.) And, so, year after year, her parents did.'

PAGE 93

'...My father, Abe. Jesus, what a man. Everyone who knew him called him "Jealous Abe" because he was the just the kind of guy would slap the engagement ring off of a woman's hand for even mentioning the wedding date. I always stuck up for him, though. And to tell you the truth, I'm not sure which direction having been his son tilted me in. I certainly had every reason to hate the man. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. In 1979 he killed an Indian. I cannot defend that; the rest of his dealings, it seems, have me trapped in a veritable purgatory of perspective.

I spent most of my young life in the hallways of courthouses. I know the smell of coffee and ballpoint pen ink as if it had been coursing through my blood since birth. Jealous Abe spent most his work days in the Lubell County Courthouse, not defending himself, but nearly contiguously bringing suit upon suit upon others. In his most famous case, the only to make it past the first week of trial, he contended that the comic strip "Prince Vailant" was but a thinly-veiled retelling of his own life's story. One time he sued the boy scouts for libel...'

PAGE 122

'...I drank so much that night I couldn't feel my legs, or my childhood. All I could bring myself to do was sit at the foot of that hill, paralyzed with the knowledge that on the other side of the crest lay my father, Jealous Abe. He had been buried that day but was dead for months. He's the only man in the state of Maine to ever prehumously order six rounds of autopsies on himself; not surprising to anyone who knew that the man claimed he had been granted invincibility by President Jimmy Carter in a poker game at a Rotary meeting. I had the task of mailing a letter to Mr. Carter. "You screwed me, Jimmy", it read in yellow crayon, "I've been beaten with another sock of lies."'
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Sweet!


 
Publié par le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:05
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Emo/Scene People Make Me Laugh!
ESPMML hxc LOLXORZ

 
How addicted to Myspace are YOU?

Click here to take the test!
 
Publié par Emo/Scene People Make Me Laugh! le dimanche, septembre 24, 2006 - 6:26
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Leann

 

John.. we'll discuss this book thing and the zombies when you call me back about those guitar lessons. 

 


 
Publié par Leann le dimanche, septembre 24, 2006 - 4:43
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ZenChick™

 
And apparently he has a holiday album coming out, too! That John. *shakes head in awe*



 
Publié par ZenChick™ le dimanche, septembre 24, 2006 - 5:20
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Anthony

 
aww man, no. that cant be correct. if he did a christmas album that would be sold out. Continuum is awesome btw. "heart of life" makes me cry like a girl every time.
 
Publié par Anthony le mercredi, septembre 27, 2006 - 2:09
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Mayers Monkey Head
Hairy Monkey

 
Heaven forbid. Your storybook is indeed disturbing.
 
Publié par Mayers Monkey Head le dimanche, septembre 24, 2006 - 2:34
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JM Blogs
John Mayer

 
Hey captain forgetful, scratch that last message, you forgot something.
 
Publié par JM Blogs le dimanche, septembre 24, 2006 - 12:02
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"...I drank so much that night I couldn't feel my legs, or my childhood".

I F'ing love it.


 
Publié par le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:02
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Angela

 

Are you pulling our legs again, Mr. Mayer??  I wish you really would write a book.  Although, I must admit, I always thought if you ever did, you'd do it under a pseudonymn.  I tried to imagine myself reading a book that you'd written and I have to confess:  it seems like it may be hard for me to stop thinking about the fact that YOU wrote it and that single distraction might keep me from becoming completely engrossed...which I could, with your writing.  You've always got some story to tell...even with no words at all, it seems like you're telling a story.

Just my input on the subject.  Hope your weekend is smashing.


 
Publié par Angela le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 8:49
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Raven Blackhardt
Raven Blackhardt

 

John, if you ever really were involved in a book deal, you would certainly get my money!

I bought Continum last night at the mall and listened to it on the way home... couldn't even wait to get to the house to open it. I had to nearly wreck my van while I was fighting the plastic and handling the wheel at the same time... like a junkie trying to get a fix!

I got through waiting for the world loving it... then the second song.... took my breath away! I have to say it is my fav!

aaaand CSI being one of my favorite shows... it was a special treat to get to see you John on the season premier! Thanks for making that even sweeter!

MWAH

keep being John!

Oh and I looooved in the thank yous on continum that you mentioned the fans.... keep you honest!
Thanks for thinking of us!

R


 
Publié par Raven Blackhardt le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 8:25
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JM Blogs
John Mayer

 

I just saw a message in my inbox that said ha ha you bastard, copy and paste this.

 

I'm not really sure how you want me to take that.


 
Publié par JM Blogs le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 5:18
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Ninja Curly Sarah

 

Hi John - I would read or listen to anything you have to say!!  I sincerely hope you get a book published!:) When did you have time to write a book?!? 

I liked this line in particular! - "I know the smell of coffee and ballpoint pen ink as if it had been coursing through my blood since birth."  I could smell pen ink the minute I ready it!! I didn't even know I knew what pen ink smelled like! hehe!

Well good luck to you hun and if you are pulling our legs!! (Your fans)!!

You bum!!:)  If not! Cute bum!! hehe!

MWAH! Sarah :) xoxo


 
Publié par Ninja Curly Sarah le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:55
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Roem

 
That's funny.
 
Publié par Roem le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 7:35
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HeatherSavann

 
How rude!
 
Publié par HeatherSavann le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 5:54
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Billy Blanks

 

You know, it's hard for me to read your blogs when I am trying to run out the door to my class early on a saturday morning. Now that I've had a moment to actually READ what you posted when I was "On my way out the door", all I have to say is.....

You are SUCH a trick, you know that don't you?  And your timing is impeccable.


 
Publié par Billy Blanks le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 3:44
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.·•° Lindsay ♥ Jean °•·.
Lindsay Schulte

 
continuum (kn-tny-m)  Pronunciation Key  Audio pronunciation of [P]
n. pl. continua (-tny-) or continuums
  1. A continuous extent, succession, or whole, no part of which can be distinguished from neighboring parts except by arbitrary division.
  2. Mathematics.
    1. A set having the same number of points as all the real numbers in an interval.
    2. The set of all real numbers.


[Latin, neuter of continuus, continuous. See continue.]







=)


cant wait to see more haha

-Lindz

 
Publié par .·•° Lindsay ♥ Jean °•·. le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 3:31
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Haha, you're fu**ing weird.
 
Publié par le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 1:10
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Just something I found online..

"John Mayer, who collaborated with Joe Harriott in developing a fusion of jazz with Indian musical elements, died on March 9, 2004, after being struck by an automobile. He was 73 years old."

Hiding something from us John?

 
Publié par le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 1:12
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"John Mayer is survived by his second wife, Gillian; their sons, Jahan and Jonathan; and his daughters from his first marriage, Lesli and Toni."



 
Publié par le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 1:13
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I know....i was just messing around...seeing as to how so many people beleive that he's actually putting out a book, i thought i might mess around with them and start some "JM used to be married, but then fakes his death" rumors......:-)
 
Publié par le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 10:55
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*jayna

 
It's sure to become regarded as the latest Great American Drivel. First one of the new millenium. Alert the stalkers.
 
Publié par *jayna le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 1:07
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abe Brrrrreeeezy

 
is there gonna be pictures?
 
Publié par abe Brrrrreeeezy le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:57
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SuZieCapooZie

 
Do you really want pictures?

"We'll come to you"

I'd be lying if I said I didn't laugh my ass off while reading this. haha
You got me at "...and my painting portraits of people in their sleep." And I just couldn't stop. NUT!
It deserves some and buttloads of .
This guy is crazy! lol. When and how do you come up with these things? And so late, or early, whichever sounds better. haha 

Welcome back Random Mayer. I'll take my seat.

 
Publié par SuZieCapooZie le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 2:49
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stellarmoneca

 
*runs to take seat next to Susan*
*knocks out 3 people in the process*

Nice Read John... *coughFilbertNutcough*

Pulling out my No.2  pencil to take notes on this stuff ?


 
Publié par stellarmoneca le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 3:41
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Ninja Curly Sarah

 

Monica and Susan...is this seat taken:)!!! I love his randomness!!!!!!

MWAH!


 
Publié par Ninja Curly Sarah le dimanche, septembre 24, 2006 - 12:23
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HeatherSavann

 

I think I just pulled a muscle in my face from smirking too hard...owwwww!

Prehumously is not in the dictionary, but perhaps it should be.  It is a brilliant mind that can put a nonexistent word in correct context.


 
Publié par HeatherSavann le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:53
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Yeah, he actually had me looking on dictionary.com for prehumously. I always have to look in the dictionary because he always tends to use big words and this time I actually found one to be non-existent!

 

This guy's great. Two kudos for confusing me!!


 
Publié par le dimanche, septembre 24, 2006 - 4:12
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Theresa

 
And like a flock of seagulls....GULLIBLE PEOPLE!!!!
 
Publié par Theresa le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:33
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Nell
Ginell Narvaiz

 

i think you and i are on the same page with this "book" maybe im not with you , but i believe so. maybe he's gonna prove us other wise

 


 
Publié par Nell le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 5:35
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Billy Blanks

 
We can only expect the very best from our "Prehumous" overachiever aye?
 
Publié par Billy Blanks le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 3:45
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~Grandma Funk Railroad~

 

Can't wait to read your book, John!  I always enjoy reading your blogs!  I can only imagine your book will be equally rivetting!

I love the line "I've been beaten with another sock of lies."


 
Publié par ~Grandma Funk Railroad~ le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:06
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Vanessa

 
Interesting.

Your a literary GENIUS.

*smirk*

 
Publié par Vanessa le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:06
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Vanessa

 
That was sarcasm by the way...Captain Obvious
 
Publié par Vanessa le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:16
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BeCk • E

 
>.>' I thought we were told to call him captain backfire?
 
Publié par BeCk • E le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 3:14
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Theresa

 
nessa...lets stop using the inside jokes in our outdoor voices.
 
Publié par Theresa le dimanche, septembre 24, 2006 - 9:10
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HeatherSavann

 

 
Publié par HeatherSavann le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:54
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Alisha.

 
My sentiments exactly, in wry humor, of course. 
 
Publié par Alisha. le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:13
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Im having a party in my profile and your invited!

 

i love u JM


 
Publié par Im having a party in my profile and your invited! le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:07
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Hannah

 
You definitely have a way with words. XX
 
Publié par Hannah le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:08
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Miss Kylie

 

Funniest Man Alive?

Yes indeedy, you are a nutter.

 

 


 
Publié par Miss Kylie le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:10
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Billy Blanks

 
DOUBLE POST!
 
Publié par Billy Blanks le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:12
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Alisha.

 
Such poetic prose. 

Good job, witty you. Care to share the plot--if any at all?

 
Publié par Alisha. le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:13
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Emily

 

"Apparently the founders had been beaten within an inch of their lives by a homophobic cartographer during a water shortage."

Too funny!


 
Publié par Emily le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:13
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Dizzle
Danielle Griffin

 

You do it all....

 

 

You never cease to amaze me, Mayer.


 
Publié par Dizzle le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:15
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Nell
Ginell Narvaiz

 
hehe <3
 
Publié par Nell le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:18
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shante

 
congratulation. but what exactly is it about? all of the semantic noise was distracting.
 
Publié par shante le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:28
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Alison

 

Without doubt "a few sandwiches short of a picnic" which is, of course, why we love you.

xx 


 
Publié par Alison le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:29
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wiwik

 
I have no clue what you're talking about, but I love it.
 
Publié par wiwik le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:29
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Oo-La-Lana

 

Goodness, John. You are one busy man! 

The creativity never stops.

Touring obviously lends itself to filling empty hours.  Thank god your good friend 'Mac' is there to be an outlet.   

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and ideas and imaginings.  You keep us smiling and interested in what's next.

Write on, Lana


 
Publié par Oo-La-Lana le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:33
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Tessa

 

Awesome!


 
Publié par Tessa le samedi, septembre 23, 2006 - 11:33
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>> 1-50 / 377